


Life Cont.

by blarcington



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Female Protagonist, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person, Post-Canon, Romance, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2018-08-15 12:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 85,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8056816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blarcington/pseuds/blarcington
Summary: Max Caulfield has given up everything to be with Chloe Price.Chloe Price has lost everything to be with Max.And so, life continues.





	1. Act I: Reprisal

It's cold and wet.

The clash of thunder shoots my eyelids open like a jolt of the lightning that no doubt came before it. Ugh, It takes me a few moments to properly realise I’ve got a face-full of dirt and I weakly push myself off the ground onto my knees. My palms swipe what gravel and dirt they can off of my cheeks and forehead before I clumsily stand and anchor my feet to the ground after some wobbling around.

Where am I? Why can’t I remember anything? Ow…My freaking head…It hurts…So much…

I stumble around, squinting through my blurry vision and the wind and rain assaulting my face, looking for…Anything. A picnic table, a fallen telephone pole, a landslide of rocks and timber, the lighthouse- The lighthouse! Chloe! She’s – She’s up there! Oh, god…I hope I’m not too late…

I drag my feeble knees along the ground, borderline flailing my arms about the air just to keep my balance. My head…So fucking dizzy. I feel like I’m going to flop to the ground from a single misstep. There’s a hill up ahead…I can barely stand **without** an incline to worry about, let alone walk it…

Baby steps. I shift my weight forward so that, at least if I fall, it’ll be onto my hands, before I feebly trudge up the slope. One step, two steps, three steps…Focusing so much on not tumbling all the way back down is doing wonders to help me ignore the apocalyptic levels of bad weather. I’m halfway to the top when I see the maintenance shack beside the lighthouse through the bushes and a newfound energy swells within me-

And then I’m falling. My heart skips a beat as my right foot slips forward and up into the air on a puddle of muck and I fall backwards onto my ass. I yelp so loudly in pain as I meet the dirt again (plus gravity this time) that I can actually hear myself over the rain and thunder. Fuck, everything hurts. My head is ready to explode now, and my back and hands and ass and-

A voice on the wind echos through my ear. “Max?”

It's Chloe. I heard her, I know I did. She’s up there. She needs me. I roll onto my front ineptly and force myself onto my legs again. I ignore the scrapes across my palms and the filth splattered over my clothes enough to get myself to the top of the hill and rush to the cliff’s edge to witness-

“Holy shit.”

A tower of wind and rage that looms over me from the ocean. Even the rain that, moments ago battered against my skin seems to calm in the monstrosity of a tornado’s mere presence – in fact, everything seems to go quiet as I gaze upon it in awe and fear, like those eye of the storm moments you see in movies.

Something clicks in my freshly conscious brain’s fuzzy memory. The town! The tornado is headed straight for it! I remember now. I had a vision about it and…I spent the whole week trying to figure out how to stop it-

N-No, that’s not right. I-I’ve…I’ve rewound and watched it tear Arcadia Bay apart so many times now, and I can never figure out what causes it…

No, that doesn’t make sense! You…You can’t just stop a natural disaster, it must’ve been-

_Me._

Someone is standing beside me.

_You._

I look at **her** , head to toe. The same grey hoodie, the same jeans, same thick brunette hair, the same dorky freckles…She sighs and holds her head in shame as I defensively take a step back.

_You are the worst._

“The tornado. It was me.”

_Yeah, pretty sure I gave you the heads up on that specifically so we wouldn’t be dealing with this shit._

“No, no…I didn’t cause this. I’m-I’m just some entitled art student! I can’t…I can’t just will this to happen, even with my power-“

_Get fucking real. Don’t worry; I remember all that reassuring shit the precious punk poured into your head as well…Get, fucking, real, Max. Fucking God let you take over for a week, and you screwed it all up. Guy even gave you a Band-Aid to fix it and you tore that up and threw it into the wind._

“Chloe…She comes before anything else.“

_Yeah, I know. Too bad there’s a couple hundred in the ground over that principle, huh?_

"I wasn’t going to let her die! Not again!”

_Oh, god. Here’s the delusions of heroism or whatever. The punk is no fucking saint. Death follows the bitch, idiot; it’s not just out for her, she can deal it too. Didn’t you watch her gun Frank and his dog down a couple of times? The sheer effort you had to go to with rewinding just so she wouldn’t murder the poor, lonely bastard is worrying._

She did it – would have done it to protect me!

_Wow! Who would’ve thought asking an already dangerous man that you threatened to **shoot** for a favour wouldn’t be the best idea?_

In the end we still worked together and found Rachel.

_Or what’s left of her. Guess you raise a good point, though – that fucker Jeffershit got his just desserts…Along with everyone else in the Bay._

She points to the coast below with a look of scorn on her face, promptly drawing my attention back to the tornado. I swear to god, it looks as though it only begins its approach closer to the town once my attention is on it; as if my doppelganger commands it to with her gesture.

The shoreline is the first to go; several beached whales skid across the ground briefly before lifting into the air to be flung a kilometer back into the ocean, their weight proving too much for even an act of God to carry for long. Within seconds the buildings closest to the vortex are ripped from their foundations, gobbled up and spat out in all directions, before the rampaging winds tear through the rest of the Bay. How many lives are lost in these few short seconds? The lack of screaming or any human response to the genocide is the ghostliest part of it all; no suffering to speak of, no screams of terror…Just one minute the town is there, the next it isn’t.

“Oh, no...” I drop to my knees as the reality hits me, palms covering my sobbing face in an attempt to block out the newly established graveyard before me. “I…I didn’t-“

The world around me promptly darkens. **She** has disappeared as I turn my teary eyed face to look at her and, with one last icy wind chilling me to the bone, everything turns black and empty.

"I didn't want this to happen! I didn't..."

I lift myself to the ground and immediately regret the decision as I keel forward and grasp my forehead at the pain pulsating in it. All I see is **her**. **She** floods my mind and drowns it in her hate.

_You let it happen._

I had to.

_They’re all fucking dead in one swift minute._

I wasn’t going to trade her.

_Was it worth it?_

…

_I hope it was._

It...It was.

_I heard that hesitation._

Chloe...

_Is that your nose bleeding again? Get used to it. I will make sure it does until you’ve paid the blood of Arcadia Bay in full. I will ruin you, just like you ruined-_

I spasm awake with a screech and heavy breath, feeling as though if I’ve practically been defibrillated.

Reality check. Max Caulfield. Lying in bed with Chloe Price. In a crappy motel about a hundred miles away from Arcadia Bay. Still responsible for the death of Arcadia Bay’s people.

_Good to see you haven’t forgotten. Did you enjoy my little reminder?_

It’s past sunrise outside, I can just about tell despite the grey skies and pouring rain pattering on the window - fallout from the storm, no doubt. I shift my gaze to the right – My blue haired, lankier companion is still latched onto my back with her arms wrapped around my waist, somehow still enjoying her own lack of consciousness despite my outburst a second ago; she’s even got the goofy grin on her relaxed complexion to show for it. I wipe a build-up of sweat from my forehead. Trying to get a decent sleep since leaving Arcadia Bay has consistently been marred by lucid, surreal nightmares – and **her**. Having Chloe this close definitely helped me fall asleep, but…

Hm.

Argh.

I fumble through my thoughts for something I won’t feel guilty or embarrassed daydreaming about; my brain feels like a mish mash of disconnected memories which doesn’t make it easy…An omelette decorated with strips of bacon, a junkyard shack of memories that I spoil – ' _Max was here,' Classy._ – A boat flung by the wind smashes into the top half of a lighthouse, a foul bodybag in a shallow grave, my barely conscious form being used for sick obsessions-

Shut up. I remember. I remember all of it. Fuck you. I’m ignoring you, okay?

_Yes, Max. Just ignore it. Rewind the mistakes and pain away. Ignore it. It doesn’t matter anymore._

No, I’m never using my powers again.

_Only after a thousand or two lie dead by your hand do you decide this._

I didn’t decide anything! All I’ve ever done is protect Chloe!

_I suppose that means you’ll enter power abuse mode some more once she gets her dumb ass back into the shitstorm, right?_

…

_That sounds like a yes._

Don’t call her a dumbass.

_It was a yes._

If I don’t, all of this will have been for nothing.

_Jesus Christ, you are a cold motherfucker; talking like all those people willingly sacrificed themselves for the greater good of Max Caulfield’s obsession with her precious degenerate._

Chloe is **not** a degenerate!

_Yeouch, nerve stricken; now I know which buttons to press. Well, actually I knew anyway. I’m you after all, and you’re a nosey fucker, aren’t you?_

Just leave me alone already…

Chloe exhales a pleased sigh as squirm in her cuddle to face her, the smell of cigarettes leaving her lungs lingering even now. I grimace, at least it gave me something familiar to focus on. Cigarettes and cheap body spray; they’re both scents that I’ve always hated, yet…They’re Chloe. They’re comforting and feel like home. That’s what those things are to me now, home; it’s such a fucking strange thing, to feel this way about those gross smells…

I yawn a breath of my own in her direction. Homey and intoxicating, I guess...I'm slipping off into brainworld, land where your brain never shuts up.

...

……

………

I've been trudging through these woods on the outskirts of Arcadia Bay for hours now. My legs feel ready to cave in from how long I've walked on them...And it's so fucking warm today. I always forget how much the middle of summer can suck sometimes. I need to find my way back to Blackwell Academy before I'm late, though. Resident Bitchface Victoria Chase thought it would be a fun prank to leave me stranded out here after promising to show me “Something Good.” Looking back, maybe this is some kind of payback for the amount of times she’s bitched at me for playing that song in the mornings…

Ugh, It may as well be a Mad Max wasteland out here with how dry and how long these woods go on for, though! I’ve even got the name to fit right in…

Huh? The sound of rushing water, a stream? I clamber through the thick bushes to find its' edge. Finally, something to drink…There’s a fish looking straight at me as it swims by (freaky AF with how their eyes are weird). Then another, then another, then a whole school of them populates the water. Fuck, I'm so thirsty, and I could use a wash actually, my face feels kinda grimy.

_And your hands are bloody._

I slip into the river and bring a handful of it to my dry lips. It's cool and refreshing as hell, if a little funky on the taste. On a hot, sticky day like this it’s a godsend, though…Something else is off. The water around me gradually turns brown and polluted as I adjust to its chilling temperature. The fish are still there though, staring. The water turns red, thick and warm as I splash it over my face and the fish promptly cease any movements before their tiny corpses float to the surface. The water’s current seems to gain speed and the fish are swept away down the stream. I’m still standing here though, washing my face.

The stream gets heavier and heavier and starts to become a weight pushing me aside. I wade towards the bank to no avail and I’m swept away into the deep red river. In my struggle to stay above water, I’m able to catch a glimpse of the surface hit by the pitter patter of steadily worsening rainfall. Within moments, my desperately afloat face is assaulted by torrential downpour-

* * *

 This shower is heaven, fuck if I didn’t need this. The water running off my hair and skin looks gross as shit with the grease and dirt it picks up along the way to the drain below… _IhopeIdon’tblockthedrainwiththisshit_. It’s only been a day and a half ( _or so?_ ) but it feels like eons since the last cleanse of both body and soul - Chloe likey very muchy. There’s something weirdly fun about scrubbing bodywash all over yourself, come to think of it. Like, a satisfaction in being cloaked head to toe in that sudsy cleaning goodness - ah fuck…Forgot about that little cut on my arm, there...And that one. Aaaaand that one. Shit that smarts. Thankfully the water flushes the soap out of it all quickly enough.

Eventually the water starts to cool – _cheapassmotelshit -_  I wait until it’s that blue ballsing room temperature, turn the dial to the left and step out of the two-in-one bathtub. A towel covers my torso and below, and another ruffles against my hair - _should’ve bought a pissing brush on the way to sort this bombsite of a hairdo_ \- I hand-comb it as best I can. The basic shape’s right at least, kind of.

Creaking open the heavily scratched wooden door to the bedroom feels like entering a different world as I lay eyes on the poor soul quietly snoring underneath the bed-covers. Goodbye relaxing and steaming shower, hello survivor guilt and killer stress, I guess.

Damn though, I only start to notice how hella crappy this motel is as I walk out the bathroom; bland grey colour scheme, creaking floorboards underneath the also grey carpet and filthy ass windows. Me n’ Max arrived here at like ten at night with enough stress and fatigue to drive a person crazy so we didn’t even notice…Well, actually Max might be going a little insane. So much crying, much nosebleeds…Fuck, I hope she feels better today.

I look out the window and survey the rest stop; didn’t really have a chance to do it in the dark yesterday…A small shopping building, a café chain I vaguely recognise and – seriously? A fifties style diner? Fate, you're a dick. I avert my gaze to the sky – getting close to midday I think. Tough to tell with all those rain clouds above though…Looks like nature isn’t finished with Oregon yet. For nature’s sake, it better fuckin’ be done with us.

God, that threat doesn’t even make any sense.

Sitting on the edge of the double bed shifts the weight of it enough to stir Max a bit, shit…Doubt she’d be in the mood to wake up with my naked ass a couple of feet in front of her. My belly button piercing is my most closely guarded secret, after all.

Right, get dried ASAP, put on sweat and dirt ridden clothes ASAP. White skull design tank-top with dark patches on the back? Check. Ripped jeans stained with mud and a little bit of blood that ain’t mine? Check…Fuck, Max’s nose was like a drainage pipe…Why did I bother getting a shower again? It feels like just touching my clothes against my skin has given me several diseases.

Max stirs again and mumbles incoherently. She sounds distressed as fuck, please don’t be another nightmare…I place a hand on her seriously messed up  hair and stroke it a bit…There’s a few uneven patches; was she tearing some of it out? Fucking God damnit, explains the thirty minute bathroom break.

“Max…Hey, Max?” I whisper quietly and oh-so gently run a hand through her brunette locks. She slowly comes to after repeating the motion a couple of times, turns onto her back and looks up at me with this…Desperation in her eyes that twists my heart into a fuckin’ chain link.

"Chloe.” She weakly manages to say in-between groaning and yawning. I lower my posture to a crouch, bringing myself roughly level with the girl and place a hand on hers as it rests on the blanket. Fuck I forget how soft she is…No, delicate is a better word; fragile. “You alright, Maxi-Pad?”

“I’m okay.” She croaks in an ‘I’m not okay’ sort of tone.

“Shit sleep?”

She stretches again and sits up, leaning on her elbows. “Yeah…You?”

“Shit, girl, I got to snuggle with the coolest chick eva’, course I slept well.” This dumb light-heartedness will work eventually, I hope. Max tries to form a smile as she does that awkward cute thing where she swipes her index and middle finger across her cheek.

“Sorry,” I give her hand a squeeze and avert my gaze to it – there’s a couple of bruises here and there…Don’t even wanna know where they came from. “Seriously though, Max…Are you okay? You were pretty…”

Pause. What the hell do I call it? ‘You were an mumbling, crying, bleeding wreck Maxine Caulfield because you just decided the end of so many people so your dumb friend who keeps getting herself killed could live a few more days, considering her shit track record.' She’s looking at me with a curious look, with furrowed eyebrows, waiting for me to finish…As if she knows what she wants to say but, like me she’s got no fuckin’ idea how to so say it so she’s stalling.

“You had me pretty fuckin’ worried, heh…All the way through that empty road.” There were barely any other cars from Arcadia Bay to here, come to think of it. Storm warning no doubt kept everyone away…And hell if very many were leaving. Kinda convenient in a…Fucked up kinda way, since I had to stop right in the middle of the road more times than I’d like just to stop Max from bleeding out through her nose…Or from trying to break her own skull against the car window…Or having to borderline force her to fucking drink some water…Urgh. That shit’s behind us now, can take some solace in that.

She rubs her eyes with the heel of her palms and sits up straight with another yawn. “I just need to freshen up.”

“I might’ve…Abused the shower’s hot water reserves a bit, unless you want a cold one.” My patented Inappropriate Chloe Humour seems to work as well as expected as Max clambers out of bed and makes her way to the bathroom with no response to it.

“Least of what I deserve…” She grumbles under her breath.

“What?”

“N-Nothing. How far are we from Seattle?”

“Few hours. There’s a bagel place across the parking lot, want me to bring some breakfast back?” Urgh, leaving her alone probably isn’t the best thing to do. Could barely keep her from hurting herself with whatever improvised self-harming tools she could find around my car yesterday, and now she’s got a whole bathroom to work with.

…What the fuck, Chloe? Max isn’t a fucking…Stop thinking shit like that. You’re both fuckin’ hungry, and you’ll only be like ten minutes.

Max hesitantly nods.

God, I hope she’ll be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next up, water.  
> As a side note to this side note, I hope you'll enjoy this lil' fanfiction. It's been something of a passion project of mine for a little while now, and I've taken a tonne of inspiration from other, much more talented writers in this fandom than myself.  
> To give a rough idea of how long I expect it to be; I've written a draft up to chapter eight, with a wordcount of 32k as of current posting. I'll be splitting the fic into two "acts", the first act aiming to provide more closure to the events of Life is Strange, and the second act serving as something of an entirely new sequel story.


	2. Breathe

This bathroom is kinda crappy looking with its white tiled floor and grey painted walls, smudges of filth residue dotting them. It’s got one of those two in one shticks where the shower is in the bathtub – health hazard no thank you. Soaps and shampoo are some cheap dollar store brand I recognise from the Price household’s dire straits...The mirror behind the sink has a crack in it on the top right corner, and the toilet seat has fallen off one of its hinges…At least it’s clean?

“Max Caulfield. Maxine Caulfield.” I say it out loud to myself, looking at my mess of a face in the mirror. Dried splotches of red on my lips, nostrils and chin…Filth marks from tears and dust across my freckled cheeks...The odd cut or bruise here and there, heavy bags under my bloodshot blue eyes…Shit…I look fucked up. I feel fucked up.

_You are fucked up._

Go away, should’ve gone with Chloe to get breakfast.

_So you can kill the staff with your power as well if they talk to her the wrong way? Maybe if they put too much cheese on her bagel?_

That doesn’t even make any-…Why are you such an asshole?

_I’m you, idiot._

Fuck you.

I pull my blood and sweat stained red shirt over my head and run it under the tap to try and get what marks I can out of it. The deer skull graphic is ghastly to look at, with everything that’s happened, now.

_Picked the right colour for the occasion, huh? Feels like there’s a decent metaphor for all the blood on your hands in there somewhere._

Not listening.

I manage to scrub a bit of old mud out of the shirt once I rub in some hand wash - blood and other crap’s dried in good though. At least it blends decently with the shirt’s colour, anyway…

_Just like in your head, not getting rid of the mess that easily._

I throw my undergarments aside and look at my exposed self in the mirror. I don't think even Chloe knows that I've got freckles on my shoulders and yet...I feel ashamed looking at my bare self. It makes me think of-

_Always take the shot, Max._

Eat shit and die.

I turn the shower on – it’s warm enough - and climb into the bathtub. I get to washing all this grime and caked shit off my face, ears, neck…

_As easy as wiping the bay away._

The water’s not as cold as I was expecting – not ideal by any means, but it feels like there’s a couple of minutes left of warm water in here.

_Yesterday’s rain was pretty bad though, wasn't it?_

I close my eyes and rub some soap through my hair – just the knowledge that all that grease is flushing off of my scalp brings its’ own weird satisfaction.

_Must have been satisfying watching David Madsen put a bullet in Jefferson’s skull, too._

It wasn’t.

_Nice, got your attention again. Anyway, you could’ve rewound it._

He killed Chloe, David deserved to know. God, Chloe…I don’t know how you’re holding it together so well. She was so strong as we left Arcadia Bay, all the way through my panic attacks…I don’t think she cried once - Just absorbed all my tears, all that regret and guilt that was fucking oozing from me.

_Because she’s fucking glad that shithole is gone. Nothing between her and your pants, now…Why else would she have been so supportive of killing the Bay at first? She just wants you, hence why she dared you to kiss her…And did you see the way she ogled you by Blackwell’s swimming pool?_

Augh…Gross.

_Fuck, Max. Don’t deny that you think about it too. I saw your weird-ass fantasy, Chloe and Victoria Chase…_

That was not a fantasy! That was-

_You being even more hopeless than Warren Graham? If so, pat yourself on the back. The guy fucking died for you, and you still friendzone him, so that’s a new level of beta._

Do you ever fucking shut up…?

_I don’t know, do you?_

Ignoring you.

_No you’re not._

Shut up shut up shut up. Open my eyes wide open and rub the soap in let the water fill my nostrils and choke on the wet snotty mess just **SHUT UP SHUT UP**.

**there’s blood coming out of my nose**

**kate’s blood**

**joyce’s blood**

**david’s blood**

I wake up on a deserted beach. The decaying forms of whales and seagulls dot the coastline. I walk across the sands…It feels more akin to mud as I struggle to tug my feet out of the pits of quicksand my steps create.

**there’s blood washing onto the beach**

I look to the distance and see more corpses floating in the water.

**the shoreline is red**

A hundred voices scratch at my brain like nails on a chalkboard.

_Fuck you, Max. Why do you get to play God? Now we’re all dead, and you get everything you ever wanted._

_I never wanted to hurt anyone, Max. I just wanted to make my shit life worth something. Guess it's not even worth shit, now._

_First my beans, then my life. Thanks, Max._

_You make me wish I had jumped, Max._

_Oh, Max...How many Prices are you gonna kill? Only one of them left, now._

**LEAVE ME ALONE.**

In my panic, I forget to keep moving through the sands and I’ve sunk waist deep. I desperately struggle to grip…Anything from rocks to sticks with my hands, to no avail. All around me now are familiar figures staring at me accusingly, watching my top half be consumed by ground below. A horrible tightness grips my chest and throat as I claw and dig at the muddy sands engulfing me, screaming an unheard cry for help before I feel my consciousness fade.

**tHeY’rE dEaD max**

_Max?_

**yOu ArE aLoNe**

_Holy shit, are you okay?_

**you’re drowning in blood**

_I’m coming in._

**wake up**

You can’t come in.

**wake the fuck up**

I yank my face back out of pooling water and choke for air as I slide back as far as I can from the now freezing shower pouring down, instead upchucking water and stomach acid across the bathtub. My senses are blurry - I can barely see or hear a thing. Someone grabs me – I try and wriggle free but after some failed struggling I crash against the cold, hard ground with a yelp of pain that sends more varieties of moisture up-chucking from my throat to the tiled floor.

“Max! Holy shit…”

I open my bloodshot, soap infused eyes…I can only make out the colours. The white ceiling, the yellow light, the blue-

Chloe.

“Max, Jesus fuck, say something!”

I open my mouth to speak – and end up sputtering more water as I’m rolled onto my side. I clumsily reach for a towel on the ground and try and wrap it round me as it occurs to me I’m still naked – I don’t even know if it’s covering anything but it feels warm. Chloe’s comforting hands feel cold on my back…She must have just barely gotten through the motel room door when she heard my death noises in here. I stop choking and hacking and fucking breath finally. “C-Chloe.” I croakily mumble out between coughs and gasps for air.

She just leans in and holds me. I feel a tear or three drop off her face onto my neck and, sure enough she starts crying. “Max! Oh my fucking God!” She manages to blurt out between anxious gasps and fighting back more sobs. I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck even happened as Chloe frantically buries me against her body, wailing between panic and relief enough that she can’t form a cohesive sentence. The sharp irritation in my eyes is a harsh reminder of the soap staining them, and I must’ve…Tried to drown myself? N-No, I wouldn’t…

I manage to compose myself and steady my breathing enough after a minute or so to be able to sit up straight and let Chloe cradle me in her arms. The towel is kind of covering my breasts and such? But honestly the fact I didn’t drown myself is all I’m focused on right now...Urgh, looking at all this exposed skin makes me wish I had the energy to get that extra towel over there, now that I think about it…

“Max…Max, what the fuck happened? Are you okay?”

I shake my head – which only serves to remind me how light and blurry my brain feels, in turn directing me to the slight nosebleed I still have, “I-I don’t know, Chloe. I think I passed out.” I run my index and middle fingers against my upper lip…Not too bad. Chloe notices and hurriedly reaches me a sheet of toilet paper, which I rip in two and stuff into my nostrils.

_Worried she’ll think you’re some kind of insane person if you told her about me?_

I don’t need to tell her anything, because you’re going to go away soon enough.

_Sure…_

She pauses briefly and stares at me, tears still streaming from her eyes. She probably figures I’m not telling the whole truth – Chloe’s really good at seeing through lies – but she just pulls me back into her grip and sobbingly rambles about how much she’s freaking out and how she’s sorry for leaving me alone.

_I’m truly impressed, though; didn’t expect you’d try the old suicide trick to escape your guilt._

I’d never do that to Chloe.

_You cereal? Then what the fuck was that submerge your face in water shit?_

I…Don’t know.

I start to shiver after a couple of minutes of recuperating. Chloe quickly notices and grabs me an extra towel, wrapping it around as much exposed skin as she can, “Max…Fuck, Max. I’m…So freaked out right now. If this shit keeps up I’ll have to…Have to…” She takes on an awkward laughing-crying mixture thing, “Be your personal twenty four-seven bodyguard or something. Hah…Hahah…To…Protect you from yourself?”

I return the laugh as best I can, coughing some more at the tail end of it; “I'm sorry," and rest my head on her shoulder. Truth be told, Chloe’s kinda really comfortable and I’m starting to feel more and more light-headed. Conciousness…Fading…Urgh. I mentally shake myself awake; fuck you, brain, last thing Chloe needs is me passing out again.

_Fuck yourselfie, you could say?_

Fuck yourselfie.

_You sure you’re not crazy?_

Fuck. Yourselfie.

* * *

Max keeps telling me she’s okay, that it was just a freak accident when she was lying face down in the tub…And I wish I could believe her. After yesterday’s horror story of a car journey, last night’s struggle to keep her as calm as I did and now…This, I just can’t. And fuck, that makes me feel so shit that I don’t trust her. What the fuck do I do, though? She’s unstable as fuck, I’ve gotta careful and give her the space she wants, but…Look what happens when I leave her alone.

God…Today can’t be a repeat of yesterday. Please, don’t let it be. I hold my head in my hand in frustration - something that draws Max’s attention to me, away from her breakfast.

“I’m so, so sorry I scared you like that, Chloe. I-I seriously have no idea what happened...”

I so desperately want to hug her in response to that but…I think she’s had enough of that for now. I put on my most genuine and I’m-not-distressed-right-now smile I can manage. She seems to accept it - at least a little bit – and goes back to her bacon and cheese bagel. Bacon makes everything better. Even nearly killing yourself. Urgh.

We stay silent for a little while. Max finishes her food and we both take to awkwardly exchanging glances – from the window to each other and everything in between. Eventually Max speaks up. “Chloe…Could we stay here a little longer?” I’ve been pacing around the room for these few minutes, so I take a seat beside her and rest an arm over her shoulders, “Whatever you need, Maximus. But…Don’t you wanna see your folks?”

She shakes her head, “To be honest…No.” I arch a curious eyebrow – a gaze that I forget to follow up with a response; the fuck? Her parents were texting and phoning us non-stop yesterday, and Max needs to be somewhere comfortable. As in, not this shitty motel where the scent from the toilet waste of the entire floor can be fuckin' **inhaled** whenever you leave your room. “I’m not…Ready” She continues, “My parents aren’t ready. All this…This that’s gone on…They don’t fall into the equation, Chloe. It feels like…They’re from the distant past, like they’re…Not part of my life anymore. Fuck, I…I can’t explain it, Chloe-“

I give her an affectionate squeeze, “Hey, no, I totally get it Max’em. You need time to get your thoughts straight…Fuck knows I do too. We’ll hang around this joint another night and see how you’re doing, alright?” She reluctantly nods – with a small smile upon her face…Those little moments of happiness are turning into fucking candy at this point. “I’ll text your folks and book us another day, m’kay? Let ‘em know we got slowed down or something. Don’t worry about a fuckin’ thing, alright Max? I’m gonna take care of you.”

Her smile widens and she nods again. I think she hears the panic and desperation in my voice, because it was a really fuggin’ unsure gesture. In any case, we enjoy a little comfort hug – Fuck knows I can never get enough of ‘em – before Max clambers over to the pillows, worms her way underneath the sheets and curls up on her side. I only notice that I was staring so intently at her the whole time she was getting comfortable like some kinda creep after the fact and she murmurs, “I’m okay.”

“S-Sorry. Still just…Freaked out and worried, y’know? I’ll letcha get some sleep, Max-a-Mil.” Then she closes her eyes. And I look at her a little longer. She’s so quiet, now. It’s insane to believe that just twenty minutes ago she was freaking out the way she was…Only for me to find her drowning in the bathtub. No, this is Max; that cute, innocent treasure from my childhood. The way she curls up and folds her arms so defensively as she bridges between consciousness and sleep without a sound-

Max’s parents, Right.

I grab my phone from my pocket and take a moment to grieve for the poor bastard’s damaged screen…Don’t even fuckin’ know how it happened, but in all the chaos yesterday, both during and after the storm I’m not surprised. I unlock the screen – still got that cute pic of Max as my wallpaper…Should I update it? Looking at how peaceful she is right now with her eyes closed and her mouth agape just enough to let some air in tells me yes…But…No, not appropriate. Not right now, anyway… Messaging. Right. Eyes back on the phone. Come to think of it, this’ll be my first real communication with Max’s parents in five years…Not counting the brief exchange of “Hello” and “How are you” we all had when Max put her phone on loudspeaker in the car, yesterday (after I managed to calm her down enough so that she wouldn’t scream at them, anyway.)

 **[To: Ryan Caulfield]**  
**[yo dude its chloe, max n i are gonna be a bit longer comin to seattle. maximus aint feelin too hot so we’re restin up another day]**  
**[Sent!]**

I don’t think a minute passes before my phone vibrates – twice in quick succession.

**[From: Ryan Caulfield]  
** **[I understand, and I know you’ll take good care of our Maxine. Vanessa and I are equally as worried about you, though. Max told us about Joyce, yesterday. I can’t possibly imagine what you must be going through.]**

I take a moment to suck in a deep breath and exhale it, pushing my grief to the back of my head for the time being. Fuck.

 **[To: Ryan Caulfield]**  
**[u got it, pops. im managing, got supermax to keep me goin]  
[Sent!]**

God, I forget just how cool Max’s dad is. He’s more like a chill older brother I always found when I was a kid. Kinda like William…Ugh. Hm, Looks like Mrs. Caulfield’s heard about our delay as well.

 **[From: Vanessa Caulfield]**  
**[Chloe, Ryan has told me everything. Is my Max okay? Please take good care of her; I hope you remember she’s never fared well in difficult times.]**

Hah…That’s exactly how I remember Max’s mom. Kinda stern and blunt – hell, maybe even demanding…But you know she’s just desperate as shit to make sure everything’s okay.

 **[To: Vanessa Caulfield]**  
**[yea shes just stressed out, mrs c. i dont think the long car journey helps either so she just wants to clear her head u know]**  
**[Sent!]**

Don’t even think thirty seconds passes before the response message beeps a chiptune in my hand.

 **[From: Vanessa Caulfield]**  
**[Myself and Ryan are eager to see you again as well, Chloe. We only wish it were under happier circumstances...You’ll always have a family with us, whatever consolation its worth.]**

I swallow another gulp of grief back down. Fuckin’ hell, the circumstances would be happier if everyone would stop reminding me.

 **[To: Vanessa Caulfield]**  
**[thx mrs c]**  
**[Sent!]**

Got a few other notifications I’ve been trying to ignore here…Fuck it, got nothin’ better to do. Couple of names I vaguely recognise from one night stands or illicit dealings…Just a buncha generic ‘Are you okay’ type deals. Bet they’ve got a damn macro to send ‘em to all their contacts with how stock they read. Eh, probably best if a lotta these creeps think I’m dead anyway. Max n’ I gotta new life ahead of us, and the shit I got up to in the dark days has no place in it. Delete, delete and dele-

O-Oh, a message from Joyce? N-No, just an old one from before…That I forgot to check. My heart rises and sinks like a fuckin’ boulder at the realisation. My thumb hovers over the delete button…Fuck it.

 **[From: Mom]**  
**[Chloe, I just wanted to let you know how wonderful it’s been seeing you and Max together; you’ve been smiling and enjoying yourself in ways I never thought I’d see again. It’s like welcoming someone back into the family, isn’t it? On that note, I know Max and David have had a rocky start – just like you have, but I really do believe things can go back to the innocent ways they used to be…Just a little bit differently. Maybe then, I’ll be able to see you truly happy again.]**

As I read the message, my hands tremble more and more whilst my eyes glaze over with moisture. I sniffle, inhaling a deep breath and exhaling a quiet and shaky “Fuck”, like a marble wobbling in my throat.

 **[To: Mom]**  
**[thx mom. u know max n i are still gonna take over the world just like we promised. we’ll miss u]**

…

……

**[Sent!]**

I stuff my phone in my pocket and press my hands against my face, wiping my palms along my dampened cheeks and eyes. I wait in silence for minutes, staring at the ceiling. I don’t know what I’m expecting with that message, a response? Or does replying to a text from a dead person just make me feel better in some stupid, sentimental way? I need some air. Don’t give a flying fuck that it’s still raining. I did see a small grocery store in the rest stop on our way in, actually. We could use some supplies for the road. Maybe even get a little wake-up treat for Max while I’m at it, then sort us another night at the motel.

I grab my trusty black leather jacket and slip my arms through the sleeves – it’s about the only thing I’m wearing that isn’t muddy, bloody or drenched in sweat, so I zip it up to the collar, before quietly walking out the door.

* * *

This rest stop is eerily quiet, I’ve noticed since I woke up. I’ve been lying on my back for an hour or two now, I think, staring at the ceiling. Occasionally I hear a car screech its tires on asphalt or a dog bark nonsensically. There’s a little bit of chatter between a man and a woman that passes by our room’s door into the next one…Can vaguely hear them speaking to each other through the wall about sports or music or something. I enjoy a satisfying stretch of my limbs. I actually kinda slept okay. No headache, no nosebleed, a pretty nice 'Chloe Dream', as I've taken to calling them…

I wonder where Chloe’s gone to, actually. Maybe she took a walk? I can understand that, this motel room feels like a bit of a prison with how uninspired it looks…And she must be hella stressed with how I um…I didn’t…I didn’t try to kill myself, it was-

_It looked like you did._

No, fuck you. I just want you to shut up. Just shut up so me and Chloe can finally be fucking happy! Argh…Chloe. You don’t deserve any of this shit. Your parents are gone, friends are gone, hometown is gone…And I’m the one that took them away. And now I’m all you’ve got left.

_She doesn’t give a shit. No more obstacles or baggage between the two of you now._

No, even you know that's not true. Chloe loved Joyce. She…She misses David. And Rachel-

_Still jealous of that dead bitch?_

Just go away…

_I wouldn’t be talking if it weren’t true. Rachel looked pretty wowser though, huh?_

Shut up! That’s so fucked up…She’s dead.

_Can’t lie to yourself, Maxine…Which is me. I see all your fuckin’ what-ifs and fantasies._

Sigh. Max…Never Maxine. And I do wish Rachel were here…I don’t even know her, but Chloe deserves…Someone. Someone who isn’t going to bleed out their fucking brain all over her and pass out…

Ditch her for five years.

Get her fucking killed over and over.

Leave her hometown in ruins.

And let her friends and family die.

_Well, in all fairness she was the one dragging you along and getting herself killed, what is it, like four times now? Fucking hell, Max…You sure it’s fate that wants her dead, not the fact she’s an idiot?_

Oh, just leave me alone...

The door clicks open, prompting me out of my thoughts with a startled gasp. Chloe slips through the door, “Yo, Max-a-Mill. Got you some…Cereal comfort food.” I blankly stare at her saunter towards me, “As in…Serious comfort food. Not…Actually cereal, couldn’t find any that wasn’t past its’ expiration date anyway.” I giggle a little at that; a little bit of a forced giggle, but we both need the tension relief. Chloe sits by the edge of the bed, setting the bag of assorted snack foods on the ground and resting her palm on my shoulder. “You good?”

I nod. “Better…Sort of.” She starts caressing my shoulder a bit – it’s a lot more comforting than it has any right to be, actually. Her free hand dips into the bag, pulling out a box of chocolates…Some brand I don’t recognise. My face must be beaming at them, though, since Chloe’s expression is a smug ‘I did good’ type deal. “You’re amazeballs, Chloe.”

“Time warrior needs her time fuel, am I right? Or, something. Hey…So I’ve booked us another night here, alright? Get yourself sorted out before we see Mr. and Mrs. Caulfield, yeah?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Caulfield…That sounds like a movie I’ve seen.” I force another snicker at my own lame humour. I’m surprising myself a bit with all of my smiling and light-heartedness right now, come to think of it. Chloe…Needs the reassurance that I’m okay, I guess.

_Oh for fuck’s sake, this is like the one case I’d be okay with you being your usual selfish self._

I don't care what you think, at least right now. Chloe needs something to put her mind at ease. I look at the bravado she puts on with the bags under her tired, stressed eyes and I think of the shit she had to deal with yesterday…And this morning.

_Bitch doesn’t deserve shit. She’s only alive because you gave up everything else for her. Need I remind you about your now-screwed future in photography? The memories of your childhood that are reduced to rubble? Should I list of the names of deceased? Joyce, Frank, Kate, Warren – Oh shit, let’s not forget Warren. Only reason Chloe and you get to be here is because the poor bastard basically worshipped the ground you walk and gave you that photo…Remember when you told him you’d start making the right choices? God, all that hope and trust in his eyes? I saw it too, fucking **price** less. See what I did there? Anyway, Just another tool in your noble conquest to keep Chloe alive, right?_

Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up, please! Please…

…

…

It only occurs to me now that my expression has gone full deer-in-headlights with tears forming in my eyes. Chloe is looking at me with this…Ihavenoideawhatthefuckishoulddo look on her face, and she’s firmly placed both her hands on my shoulders; as if to keep me grounded to the earth or something. “S-Sorry.” I sputter out, guilt poking its ugly head out my throat whilst I wipe this newly formed moisture with my index and middle fingers; “Got, um…Lost in thought.”

“Dude…I thought I lost you for a second there.”

“Me too.” Chloe silently looks at me for a few more seconds, as if to confirm I’m not about to pass out or break into a crying fit. A grin slowly starts to form on her lips – though her eyes tell a different emotion with the tears mirroring my own. She gently pats my back, “Rain’s stopped, by the way. You need some fuckin’ air, Maximus. Bein’ cooped up in this shithole ain’t doing you any good. I saw a forest trail or somethin’ at the other end of the parking lot…Could do us some good.”

“I, um...”

I don't know. I don't know if I have the energy...Not in the physical sense, but like, willpower. My body has felt so bogged down since we left Arcadia Bay, as if I'm literally carrying all this guilt...And God, it's heavy. Chloe...Needs me to be happy for her, though. I can tell she's so worried, and she's trying so hard to help me when even I can't. God, Chloe...

“Y-Yeah, this motel is...Hella stuffy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next up, the ship will sail.


	3. Butterflies and Pirates

I zip my hoodie up and shiver a bit as we walk across the parking lot…Shirt’s still kinda damp from my earlier attempt at a wash. Stupid. At least the rain’s died down, but there’s still a chilly breeze in the air – I guess I should expect the weather to be kinda crappy after the storm-

No, I'm...I'm gonna stop thinking about it, at least for now. Max Caulfield, give yourself one moment to do nothing, and all that. Whew, okay. This is a pleasant walk in the woods with Chloe. Pumped. I notice I’ve fallen behind a bit and catch up to her, taking her hand into mine. The gesture prompts a curious eyebrow raise from her, which I find myself only able to follow up with a “Hey.”

“Hey,” she squeezes my hand a bit, “You cold?”

“I’ll be okay.”

We pass through a small clearing of trees. The rocky path is traversable enough – small splatters of mud and murky water here and there which we make sure to step over. The environment on either side of the path is more comparable to a marshland rather than a forest – The rain must have been pouring all night in addition to this morning. Through the bushes I can hear a river and the distant cries and chirps of several birds; crows, owls…Is that a squirrel I see there? “Aw…” I  point towards it, earning a chuckle from Chloe.

“You have always had a soft spot for animals, Max.”

“So has my fashion sense.” I point out, patting a hand against the deer skull depicted on my dirty, grimy t-shirt.

Chloe’s laughter picks up a notch at my quip. “Ha! Is that because it’s shit or because all your t-shirts have animals on them?”

“Oh yeah, Miss Skulls n' Spikes here is giving her critique on clothing choice.” I smirk back at her.

"Yeah, yeah. What was the name of that band, Max? With the dude wearing the eyeliner n' skinny jeans? Man, I'm just visualizing that poster on your wall, right now..."

"Don't start that!" I snap, delivering a playful slap to Chloe's shoulder, "We both know  **you're** the one that introduced me to them!"

"Yeah, but I didn't write a ten thousand word fanfiction about me and the lead singer-"

"Oh, God!" I hide my shameful blush in my hands, shaking my head as I plead; "I didn't even remember that! Why...Why, Chloe?" 

"Heheh." The punk witch pulls me in close with an arm across my back while she rests her chin on my shoulder. "Your interests as a kid are like, my own personal cringe compilation, Maximo."

"You're evil." I can't hold my exaggerated pout for long as it breaks down into a giggle.

"Chaotic evil, baby. Nah...More like, true neutral. You?"

_Chaotic goods don't give a fuck about what's right, right? Just what they think's right? Sounds about **right.**_

"I, um..."

_Neutral evils only give a shit about themselves, sounds pretty accurate._

"N-Neutral good, yeah. Neutral good."

Chloe tuts and rolls her eyes, "Boooring!

"Yeah, you're one to talk! True neutral, that's like...The easy way out."

"Nah, girl. Gives me breathing room, means assholes can't expect shit from me.

"Yeah, yeah..." Through my sarcastic tone, I warmly smile to end the conversation on a high note.

See, this is nice, the banter. More of that please, brain.

We walk along the path hand in hand for another fifteen minutes give or take, occasionally a shared laugh between us echoing through the trees and treading mud and gravel against our shoes all the way. The sound of running water gets progressively louder as we go until the path meets up with its’ source; a relatively wide and shallow river. There’s a bunch of rock-faces and boulders dotting the river’s length, many of them big enough to comfortably relax on, actually. I almost want to play ‘the water is lava’ or whatever and hop from rock to rock; see how far I can get before I’d have to make my way back to the bank.

Eh…If I fell in and got soaked, I’d have to deal with the worst cold ever. Scratch that. I’m so enamoured with the river that I end up stepping my foot into a thick muck-cake in the path; so thick in fact that, by the time I realise it, the murky brown water that quickly encases my shoe and seeps through the material indicates my foot is truly stuck.

“Ugh, gross!”

I yank my leg back up after a brief struggle, the mud making a disgusting squelching sound as it releases my foot…Arghhh…It’s completely ruined my shoe and some of its splashed over my jeans…Chloe gives a teasing chuckle and an “Aw” as she playfully ruffles my hair, before putting on an overly angsty sounding singing tone, "Craaaawwling iiiin my skiiin...You actually liked that song, too!"

_Your wounds, they will, not heal._

Ohhh, Chloe...How am I gonna one-up you...

“Tag! You're it!”

By the time Chloe's realised I just slapped her shoulder with a grin so shit-eating it would put her to shame, I'm already a few feet away, swiftly and carefully hopping over the piles of muck we've just passed.

“Oh no you did not, Max Caulfield!” I hear her exclaim before the squishing sound of her boots meeting the wet dirt follows behind me. “You've never outran me even once!”

Oh, shit. Briefly glancing over my shoulder in between making sure I don't slip reminds me why; Chloe can **run**. I consider making a jokey threat about the fact that I'm a time traveller now, but decide against it; poor taste and all.

_Poor taste AHAHAHAHA._

Chloe doesn't know that I have a backup plan though, a strategy. I'm still a few seconds of distance ahead of her as I carefully tip toe to the edge of the bank; there's a huge rockface embedded in the river about a leg's length away.

I give a mischievous grin to Chloe, who has slowed her pace in curiosity, and after a brief moment of psyching myself up, I leap across the gap.

“Max, wait-!”

I make the jump, my right foot slipping a bit on some moss which my heart skips a beat at. I manage to anchor myself to dry land and stand up straight, adrenaline coursing through my veins and a look of triumph on my face. Chloe looks pale as snow as she fumbles to change her worried expression to a snarky one.

“You're still it!” I place my hands on my hips and blow her a raspberry.

“Oh, you’re so getting it.”

With a giggle, I hop to the next nearest rock as Chloe begins her approach towards the one I'm standing on. She makes the jump – much more gracefully than I did which I blame on her taller posture. By the time she stands up straight and plans her next jump, I'm already a few leaps ahead of her, “Whassthematter, scared?” I childishly remark.

“Laugh it up, hippie. Just be careful, yeah?”

I stick her another raspberry and continue my river parkour. Fuck, this is just so much fun! In my head it feels exactly like something Chloe and I would turn in to one of our pirate larping quests. The epic tale of how First Mate Maximus stole the **Price** less Booty from Captain Chloe and desperately made her escape along the notoriously dangerous Arcadia Rapids, her former captain shouting and cursing about walking the plank or scrubbing the deck or whatever Pirates of the Caribbean quote would happen to be stuck in our head that day all the way.

We've come pretty far down the river as I pull myself out of my fantasy to focus more on not falling head first into the freezing, rushing water. The river, and available rocks to leap to show no sign of ending. God, I could just do this forev-

“OH FUCK-!”

I feel my heart sink as my foot slips loose on the damp, slimy side of the rock I was preparing to leap from and in the brief instant I scurry to regain my footing as I fall towards the violent stream, a pair of hands forcefully tug me back by the waist. I'm dragged into Chloe's embrace, whom I didn't even realise had caught up to me this much.

I don't think she expected me to be pulled as close as I end up with my hands gripping her leather covered arms and the rest of my body pressing against hers for fear of falling backwards, because her white as sheet skin quickly flushes a faded pink as her tense, hot breaths wash over my equally heated cheeks (both from the adrenaline in my blood and the sudden intimacy.)

“You alri-“

As if by some instinct buried deep in my subconscious, I place a hand on the back of her head and throw my head forward, catching her lips in mine before she can finish speaking. It elicits a low, surprised grunt from Chloe but she makes no attempt to pull back as she tightens her grip on my hips.

The kiss holds for a few seconds before we reluctantly pull back. Chloe's front teeth rake her bottom lip for a moment before she begins to remark, “Tag, you’re i-“

And my mouth interjects with hers again. This time is much more fervent, though as it's much less of a meeting of lips and more of a back and forth collision that Chloe lowly breathes my name in between. My hands, which had been resting against her elbows find her cheeks and caress their smooth, warm skin.

We break apart again, and a string of saliva is left on Chloe's chin as evidence. Once again, she begins to make some kind of flirty remark but fuck that felt really good and I want more so I don't hear any of it as my face meets hers once again. I'm caught a little off guard this time though as in Chloe's own growing confidence she pokes a tongue between my lips. A moan escapes my throat, which she uses as an opportunity to catch my own tongue in hers. She doesn't get much chance to take advantage of her newest advance though as I'm the one to break the kiss, this time.

Oh dog...That just happened, didn’t it? I think Chloe’s running the exact same thing in her head with how her eyes are half-lidded and that deep breath of basking in it all. Crap…I need to say something. Something witty, something to complete the moment…

“Wowser.” I pant after a few seconds of hot breaths and unwavering eye contact, during which my adrenaline and dopamine induced tunnel vision begins to fade and the world around me comes back into focus; the wind brushing past me, the roaring of the river around me, my feet inches away from slipping into it. Then Chloe giggles, and I'm pulled back into her everything.

“God, you're so fucking cute.” She quirks her freshly smooched lips into a grin.

I fumble for something clever to say and stutter it out like an idiot. “I-It's the company I keep.” A callback to a retort I made to her last week, bonus points for nostalgia I guess.

We hold each other's gaze briefly and let it all sink in...God, I think I'm sinking into Chloe's eyes at this point.

“So...This is it, huh?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Chloe rests a hand on the back of my head, pulling me in as she rests her forehead against mine and closes her eyes with a relaxing sigh, “This is nice.”

“Yeah...”

Relaxing into Chloe, I only now begin to notice just how weightless my trembling body feels from the mixture of chemicals it insists on pooling in my brain – so much so that I feel myself leaning towards the rushing stream below me. Chloe is clearly more on point than me as she manipulates my weight even further her direction to avoid any embarrassingly clumsy injuries and I rest my chin into her shoulder.

“S-Sorry,” I stammer out, “I'm stumbling around like an idiot. I-I've just never, you know.”

“You're like, the ultimate in adorkableness right now, Max. Just wanna letcha know.”

“Bet I've got some cliché blush on my face to complete the shy virgin stereotype, huh?”

Chloe firmly plants her hands on my shoulders and motions me to bring my head to her level. With an exaggerated ‘hmm’ expression, she inspects my face, “Let's see...Yep. Flushed cheeks at twelve o'clock. First kiss confirmed, nerd.”

“Or, third, I guess.”

Chloe briefly taps her lips against mine. “Fourth.”

“So much dork. Wanna get outta here? I don't think swimming here would be as romantic as Blackwell's pool.”

“Was that some sass I just heard, Caulfield? You're gettin’ the hang of this flirty banter **fast**.”

“Har har, it’s the company I keep.” I retort proudly. Chloe rolls her eyes and takes my hand in hers, carefully stepping to the next island in the water.

We make our way back down the river to a particularly huge chunk of rock in the river; so much so that we're able to lay down together with arms wrapped around each other's bodies; the warmth of which does a decent job of helping us ignore the layer of dampness on our cold hard bed that we mutually agreed was totally worth it.

“You know...” Chloe is the first to speak once we make ourselves (relatively) comfortable after much fidgeting and re-positioning. I hum a curious, awkward-pause-filler as she finds the words to continue, rubbing my nose into her neck.

“My mom always thought I was gonna grow up  gay when we were kids, with how little time we spent with boys in comparison to each other.” She chuckles, and I follow suite with a muffled giggle against her collarbone; “I wish she could see us now, though. Joyce would've loved seeing us together like this.”

Guilt hits me over the head again for my laughter a moment ago as I'm dragged back to harsh realities, whispering “I'm sorry." Chloe takes a hold of my hand, brings it to her lips and plants a kiss, “No, dude. Don't be. I am **hella** gay for you, and being able to be is worth anything to me.”

I weakly smile, pecking her cheek. “I wonder what my parents'll think.”

_I wonder what I think._

“Heh, I think they were surprised enough already just hearing my voice again.” Chloe's quick response keeps my thoughts in the moment.

“They always thought I'd date this one guy in my school in Seattle, Simon.”

I've clearly piqued Chloe's interest as she coos a curious “Oh?”

“He came over to my house like, once. I dunno...Parents, right?" It's not until after I've made the comment does Chloe's now-lack of parents hit me again, "F-Fuck, I'm sorry-"

“How are Vanessa and Ryan doing, anyway?” Chloe says in a, 'let's change the subject' kind of voice.

“Dad's the same as ever; jolly as hell and still makes those jokes no one gets.” Chloe chuckles as my slight grin that promptly turns to a slightly solemn expression; “Mom's...Doing better. She got major anxiety attacks when we left Arcadia Bay. Think it was a mixture of adjusting to city life and missing your family...She's managed the worst of it, though.”

Chloe nods in understanding, “I'm super stoked to see 'em again.”

“Yeah,” I shiver in her grasp as the chilly raindrops continue to sting my skin, the dampness from our resting spot seeping onto my clothes now starting to get to me, “It’s…Getting kinda cold.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty hungry, actually…Cheeseburgers at the diner?”

I happily nod, brushing my cheek with my index and middle finger, “Cheeseburgers.”

We carefully walk back down the path we came after making our way back to the bank, and I damn well make sure to avoid that pile of muck that still has my footprint in it; screw you, water-infused dirt, I win this round. By the time we make it back down the path, the light pitter patter of rain has turned into an irritating shower. I manage to convince Chloe to take shelter underneath a particularly big tree on the grounds that “It’ll probably calm down in a few minutes!”

Though really, I just wanted an excuse for her to hold me in her arms again.

“Hey, Chloe…” I murmur into her collarbone.

“Yeah?”

“Is it a stupid and obvious thing to do if I say I love you?”

She emits a pleased hum and plants a kiss on my head, “’Course not…Thanks, Max.”

The rain didn’t calm down at all. By the time we reached the diner, we looked as though we’d just walked out of a bath.

Chloe didn’t seem to mind too much, though.

* * *

Argh…Max. Maxine…

It’s getting towards midnight now and I’m pretty sure I’ve been cooped up in this bathroom for a half hour now. Ten of those minutes have been spent gazing in my reflection… Hm…Gonna have to re-dye my hair at some point, I can see splotches of its’ natural blonde colour showing on the roots where it should be pink…

No, no, focus. Think. Think about this completely fucked up situation you’re in. Max…You weren’t supposed to kiss me earlier. I…I was going to be the one to do it, when I was ready. I’m…I’m not ready for this, am I? I must be because I can’t get enough of those freckled cheeks, her classic introvert fringe and that completely adorbz nose of hers…

So why the fuck is Rachel prodding at deep pits of my brain? Why am I still ogling over memories of **her** regularly exposed midriff, **her** goddess level slender shape and fuck **fuck,** shut up Chloe! Rachel is fucking dead, she lied to you, ditched you, she didn’t return your feelings and Max has done so much shit for you in such a small space of time that Rachel’s **potential** affections can’t even begin to compare.

God, fucking…This is…Hella messed up. I thought Max was going crazy? I fuckin’ feel like I’m cheating on her with someone who isn’t even alive…I slap my palms against my forehead and grit my teeth; stupid, fuckin’, asshole!

Argh…Max. Maxine. I repeat it over and over in my head. Why’d you have to fall for a dumb, selfish a-hole like me? What if our chance re-meeting in that parking lot never happened? Would she have spent more time using her superpower to actually fucking help people than just keeping my sorry ass alive another day? Whoops, got myself killed again, Max. Mind going through a degrading evening of humiliating photo-shoots and life ruining emotional trauma just to gimme a chance to drag you on another dumbass suicide mission?

Urgh…I feel a sickening sensation in my stomach. A combination of imagining how absolutely horrible Max’s time in Jefferson’s Dark Room must have been and the knowledge that she’d abso-fuckin-lutely go through it again and again if it meant she got to spend another week with me is only adding to this self-loathing thing I’ve grown so attached to these past five years.

And that’s the proof, isn’t it? The proof that Max is head in the ass in love with me. She **has** gone to some incredible lengths to be with me, and she **will** continue to. It’s so fuckin’ pure and untainted that it’s like art or some shit…And here I am, still feeling sorry for myself over a slut that I never had a chance with to begin with…And is also fucking dead, Chloe. She’s fucking dead. **Rachel. Is. Fucking. Dead.**

I breathe a sigh so heavy Max probably heard it in the next room. Why didn't I just say it, earlier? 'I love you too, Max Caulfield.' It wouldn't have been fucking difficult! God, I do love her, so much. She's all I've got left in my sad, stupid life. Mom’s gone, Step…David’s gone, Frank’s gone and...R-Rachel’s gone.

No. Don’t you fucking dare go down that trail of thought. Do not fucking blame Max for any of those deaths. Now move on. Move on. **MOVE ON.** **RACHEL IS THE PAST NOW FUCKING MOVE ON-**

I hear a sheepish knock on the door; “Chloe…Are…Are you okay in there?”

I have been in here for like forty minutes, I guess. I psyche myself up with a deep breath, then struggle for a second with the aged lock on the door and creak it open to see Max sitting on the edge of the bed with a smile so perfect and real it takes my breath away for a brief moment, very nearly taking my mind off that stupid Rachel shit I was obsessing over just seconds prior.

“Hah…I was starting to get worried you’d got your huge butt stuck, Chloe.”

Are you sassing me again, Max Caulfield? I can build an empire on sass alone, I hope you’re aware. I sarcastically laugh – it comes out a bit more gingerly than I would’ve hoped, though, “Oh? I’d pay to see your bony ass fall right in the bowl.” It nets a shared laughter between the both of us.

Max yawns and repositions herself in a resting position on her side, “I’m so exhausted, though…Heh, we didn’t even really do much today, huh? R-Relatively speaking, anyway…”

I clamber under the sheets as well, catching her a little off guard as I pull her into a tight little snuggle – though she quickly relaxes with a pleased sigh. “Hey, it’s been a hella crazy week; we should be fuckin’ spent after it.”

There’s a short silence while we relax and more comfortably position ourselves in a classic big spoon-little spoon shtick, myself being the former...Max is just so fuckin’ **cuddly** , man…Like, she’s a perfect fit around your arms with that thin stature and bony white ass I’m so fond of. She grips my wrist then runs her finger in circles on it, “Hey, Chloe…”

I hum curiously and rest my chin on her head. Meanwhile in braintown, I’ve still got stupid shit on the mind-

“Weird question…”

My face goes full deer-in-headlights for an instant, before I quickly recompose myself. Fuckin’ hell, now I’m worried she’s going to mention Rachel and make everything weird or something, “Go for it, babe. Life is weird, after all.”

I don’t think she expected me to call her ‘Babe’ as she cackles an awkward laugh. Thinking about it now it is a kinda strange name to give your childhood best friend-recently turned romantic partner.

“When did you sort of…” She sighs, as if to rethink what she’s going to say; “Like, if you do, anyway, like…Look at me…Well, **this** way?”

Internal squee. She just keeps getting cuter.

“Hm…I never really thought of it, actually. I mean…” I pause, during which I feel poor little Max tense up in my arms whilst I dig through old memories and feelings; “I…Might’ve had a lil’ bit of a girl crush on you for a while when we were kids…But…When we were hanging out in my room for the first time in five years last week, n’ when you took the heat from David for me…Sort of reminded me why I think you’re so fuckin’ amazing, y’know?”

She lets a pleased, contemplative sound escape her lips, followed by a short giggle. God, I can tell she loves this ego-boost, and I’m more than happy to provide more.

“Then when we broke into the Blackwell swimming pool that one night…Seeing you breakin’ the rules and takin’ risks on my behalf like that was…Actually really hot. And don’t even get me started on that poolside strip of yours-“

Max squeaks the cutest noise at that. Kinda like to say ‘You’re embarrassing me like hell but I love it’. I respond with a gentle squeeze around her waist and my own chuckle.

“Hah, anyway…Then you actually kissed me the morning after when I dared you to, and that was kinda like…The ‘oh shit’ moment, you know? I only meant it as a joke, but you stepped the fuck up and left me speechless and blushing like some anime schoolgirl. Kinda made me realise like…Just how confident and…And, like, fuckin' cute you’d become, you know?

“I-I don’t think I’m that confident…”

“No, dude.” I almost snap at her, making sure to speak a softer tone afterwards; “It’s like I keep saying, y’know? You’re my fuckin’ hero. The shit you went through and had to put up with last week…Doing it all for me? I’ve never seen so much determination in…Anyone I’ve ever met, least of all directed at me. I don’t just…Care about you, Max. I fuckin’ admire you. You’re Maxine fuckin’ Caulfield, and you’re amazing.”

_Just say you love her. It's not hard._

“Y-You dork...”

The way Max curls up and covers her face after that, I can guarantee myself her face is red-hot in bashfulness.

I bury a smooch in her thick brunette hair. “If I had to pick a single moment, though…When you…Tore up that photo yesterday. It kind of…Clicked in my head, y’know? Like, this is fuckin' real. I understand how much this girl cares about me now. I need to…Protect her, you know?  She’s gonna have so much bullshit to deal with now…I gotta…Be there for her and fuckin’ help her, you know? “

“So you…Feel like you owe me?”

“N-No, no. Max, I…Fuck, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, I do owe you…I owe you the fuckin’ universe, but that’s not the point-“

She cuts me off, “Sorry, sorry…I know what you mean. I…Don’t know why I took it like that.”

An internal sigh of relief. “Don’t worry about it, Maxie…Hah, we’ve both got a lot of shit to think about.”

“Yeah…”

“Let’s get some sleep, yeah? Gonna be a long road to Seattle tomorrow.”

“Yeah…” Max twists her abdomen a bit so she can kind of face me. “’Night, Chloe.”

I cup her jaw and prod a brief kiss on her lips. “’Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Death by fluff.  
> Next up, driving.


	4. Two Steps Backward

I feel ashamed. Guilty…More guilty than usual, anyway.

Between my teeth – a beautifully crisp slice of bacon, with just the right amount of grease, fried to perfection…And nothing. I feel nothing. No opinion on it whatsoever. Tastes like…Ash, I guess. This seems to be turning into a common thing, unfortunately. Even the burgers me Chloe and I had last night at this diner weren’t as amazeballs as I knew they should’ve been. I guess the eerie similarity to the Two Whales doesn’t help…

Chloe seems to notice my downtrodden mood as I munch at my breakfast unenthusiastically, staring at my plate like there’s a colony of ants swarming it or something.

“You okay, Max? Most important meal of the day, girl.”

Urgh…That’s starting to get annoying; the babying and the jokes.

_Wowser. Even Chloe isn’t safe from your bitching, huh?_

Oh for fuck’s sake…Last thing I need is you. Thanks for the nightmares last night, by the by. I especially liked the whole ‘rein act Jefferson’s photo shoot except with Chloe instead and she’s way more violent about it’ bullshit, asshole. Fuck knows I was creeped out as shit to have her breathing down my neck when I woke up. Let’s not forget you twisting her words in my head last night, n’ I made our cuddle times awkward over it.

Ugh…I think I should just say something to Chloe, now.

_Yep._

I creak my neck to form a nod. My response is a little bit delayed, so Chloe has had the time to rest her palm on my hand in worry. “Just thinking.”

“Bacon **is** thinking fuel, Maxi-pad. Don’t discount its’ value for a second.” She grins in a way that says, ‘please be in the mood for jokes’.

I am not in the mood for jokes. My head hurts, I woke up with a nosebleed, the shower felt like molten lava on my skin and my disinterest in this bacon is just depressing. I let out a sigh; is this how things are going to be now? Fall asleep feeling like a million dollars in a (relatively) comfy bed and the girl of my dreams holding me close…Wake up ready to fucking die.

I sigh again. Shut the fuck up, Max…Angsty teen doesn’t suit you at all, nor does creepy emo fashion or a dumb _(er)_ haircut. I put on the best smirk I can manage and half-heartedly mumble in an ‘okay mom’ sort of tone, “I would never dismiss glorious bacon, Chloe.”

I think Chloe detected the ‘not right now’ in my body language, as we go quiet after that. Chloe finishes her Half-English Breakfast, as she took to calling it, since it was lacking any baked beans or eggs – instead making up the difference with lots and lots of fries. She didn’t complain, anyway, sausages plus bacon is always a good thing as far as we’re concerned. The radio behind the counter has been a nice tension dropper, actually…Even if I don’t care for the hilariously redneck country music it’s been playing.

After a few minutes, one of the members of staff decides to switch the radio station. Thank gawd, maybe it’ll play something from at least the twentieth century onward- Ah, damnit…Local news station. At least the guy hosting has a charismatic voice. He mentions the murder of a man in Portland then rambles about something to do with a company's share prices dropping and a call for action being decided by a group of managers, followed by a short interview.

Yawn…There’s a reason I want to be a photographer, not a businessman. Woman. Whatever. A song I recognise being popular among Blackwell students plays, followed by-

“In other news, the relief effort in Arcadia Bay has quickly taken ground.”

Oh no…No…I do not want to hear this. I cover my ears like a child trying to ignore their parent…Fat load of good it does as I can still just about make out the radio noise.

“Scientists the world over are baffled as to how this catastrophe came to be.”

_If only they knew some selfish bitch with Stockholm Syndrome for her equally selfish best friend caused it all._

What the fuck…Stockholm Syndrome? Where the hell did you get that idea anyway?

_You, of course. You still feel obligated from your five year abandonment of Chloe to help her. She’s still keeping you in a prison of guilt._

No. We both know you’re bullshitting. I’m there for Chloe because I fucking love her.

“I’m joined by a young survivor of the disaster, who has tirelessly been gathering support for what remains of the quiet town.”

A glimmer of hope shines in my heart, however brief. Survivors…Chloe has the same look of relief on her face. We searched and searched Arcadia for any sign of life for hours when the storm subsided. The Two Whales was a scorched, collapsed ruin, Chloe’s neighbourhood practically didn’t exist anymore, and Blackwell was nothing but empty rubble. Chloe mentioned me the horror story of how much I freaked out during our search…It’s all a blur to me, but…Looking at the bruises and cuts on my palms and knuckles tells me enough that it must've been hella shitty for her to keep me as under control as she tells me she did.

“Uh, hey.” A familiar male voice begins speaking; is that-? No, it- Please, **let** it be-

“My name’s Warren. It’s…Pretty crappy here…Er, excuse my French. Think maybe…A hundred or so of us have uh, well, survived.”

Did I hear that right? My ears aren’t lying to me like my brain usually does, right? I look to Chloe in astonishment, silently asking her the same question. She beams me a smile and mouths a 'hell yeah.'

“We’ve had a butt-load of help from some surrounding towns though; you guys…Are just awesome. Things would just be way worse without the food and meds we’ve been getting from you amazing people. I-I don’t wanna seem like…Desperate or something, y’know? But please, if anyone near Arcadia Bay - or, what’s left of it anyway – is able to help, we…Really need it. Everyone here has…” Warren sighs. I can hear in his breaking voice that the emotion’s getting to him, “Everyone’s lost someone, y’know?”

Warren…Is he referring to me? I've gotta send him a message.

_Because obviously you’re the only person in his life, right._

I pull my hand away from Chloe’s and rummage through my messenger bag for my phone; she looks at me curiously, cupping her chin in her hand as her elbow rests on the table. "Heh, wonder if he'll pick up. Doin' it live!"

 **[To: Warren]**  
**[Warren, I’m okay. I’m coming to Arcadia Bay to find you.]**  
**[Sent!]**

“-I dunno, some of the local fishermen have been saying it was God or somethi- S-Sorry, I got a text. It might be important…” There’s a short pause on the radio, “Max…You’re okay? Holy shit…”

The radio host takes over as I hear Warren cheer in relief to himself in the background (something Chloe stifles a giggle at,) “A glimmer of hope in an otherwise hopeless man. Arcadia needs your help, whatever you can offer-“

I turn my attention to my phone, blocking out the noise around me. Come on…Respond…

**[From: Warren]  
[Holy crap, Max…You have no idea how cool it is to hear that. That timing, though…Radio?”**

A smirk forms on my lips.

 **[To: Warren]**  
**[Radio.]**  
**[Sent!]**

“Hey. Hey. Max…Max!” My glance darts up to Chloe’s irritated face, “What’s up?”

My lips snap to respond, no thought required, “Chloe, I want to go back to Arcadia Bay.”

Chloe’s reaction is…Difficult. She spends a moment or two taking it in as her eyes widen a bit. Then, she hides her face in her hands, emitting a low sigh; “Max…” She tries to chuckle, but she’s clearly…Taken offense? “Y-You’re kiddin’ with me, right?”

“It was a mistake running away, Chloe…Please.”

“Clearly it was a mistake comin’ to this diner…” She grumbles lowly, but I hear it; “What?” I draw attention to it sharply.

“Max, come on. We just left that shithole-“

“It’s not a shithole, Chloe. Those are people! People I-“ I lower my voice to a whisper; “People I killed. People I hurt.”

“Dude!” She exclaims, slamming her palms on the table (an action that draws a couple pairs of eyes our direction), “Stop saying that shit!”

I go silent in a combination of determination and...Chloe's outbursts being genuinely frightening. She refrains from looking at me, instead cupping her head in her hands as she tries to keep it cool. “I…Ugh…I get that he’s your friend, Max. But, like...We've come so damn far, y'know? We didn't have any problem driving outta there the first time."

"We were also majorly stressed out and shit, Chloe."

She groans, dragging a hand across her forehead. "Yeah, don't remind me."

“Sorry...Look, I need to go back. I…I don’t expect you to understand-“ Chloe snaps up straight and shoots me a chilling stare.

“Max, of course I fuckin’ understand! You’re hella loaded with guilt n’ shit, so you feel like…Obligated to do something to reduce it or whatever-“  
“It goes way deeper than that-“  
“-Yeah? Well me too-“  
“-I don’t wanna argue-“  
“-Well you are-“  
“-You need to understand-“  
“-Well I just wanna-“  
“-The least we can do for them is-“  
“-Move on with our fuckin’ lives!“  
“ **Chloe!”**

As I scold Chloe’s name, my attention turns to my trembling arms and legs, my eyes starting to well up with moisture. Chloe hides her face in her crossed arms on the table and goes silent. Across the diner, a family of four has taken to spectating our argument – they quickly turn their attention back to their plates when Chloe shoots them a teary eyed angry glare. She then releases a heavy, angry groan and leans back in her chair, grasping her forehead as she stares at the ceiling; “Fuck…Fuck! Max...Just send the man a fuckin’ text! Let him know you’ll visit next summer or something…What the hell did Arcadia Bay ever do for us other than fucking…Try and tear us apart?”

I take a deep breath, my face hot in enough adrenaline that I’m ready to explode in a combination of tears and frustration. Chillax, Max, Chillax…”Ch-Chloe…If it weren’t for their sacrifice, you wouldn’t be with me right now...”

“You don’t know that! The tornado was a fucking…Freak accident. It had nothing to do with us- Nothing to do with you!” We've both managed to lower our voices to a whispered exclamation…Not that it’s doing much to deter people from staring at us.

“I…Fuck. I’m going outside.” I leave my seat and make my way to exit the diner, doing my best to avoid eye contact with her. Once outside, I make my way to the motel and casually lean against the wall, lifting my leg and pressing my foot to it for support.

_Congratulations. Can’t even keep yourself from hurting her either._

I want to own up to my mistakes, okay? Isn’t that what you want? You’re…Never fucking happy, are you?

_Uh, duh? You seem to keep forgetting that I’m you._

Just what  **is** your fucking deal?

_Gee, screw round with god-powers for a week to manipulate everyone's lives, then end them once the going gets too difficult...What was it you said, once? 'With great power comes great bullshit'? I'm your lookalike Uncle Ben, bitch._

Yeah, okay...

Ugh…I see Chloe exit the diner. She scans the area a few moments, clearly looking for me. I raise my hand in the air to signal her attention.

“Max.”

“Chloe…”

She’s managed to calm herself down it seems, and her voice has a certain determination to it. “Are you okay?”

I shake my head, still avoiding eye contact.

“Will going back…Egh, fuck. Will going back really help you with this shit?”

“I **need** to do something, something to help those people.”

“Okay, alright. Fuck. Fuck, just…Gimme a second.”

Chloe takes a stance next to me by the wall and leans her weight into it. She closes her eyes and inhales a deep, contemplative breath. It’s an uncomfortable silence, as I’m still feeling at least a little defensive from our outburst a minute ago but I nonetheless take a hold of Chloe’s hand.

“Okay. I’ll…I’ll go back with you, Max, if…It’s what you need.”

_It’s what **they** need, y’dumb selfish punk-ass bitch. Dare you to say that. Double dare you._

 “Chloe…”

I finally meet her eyes with an emotional smile which, Chloe seems to fakely and insincerely return. Awkward…So, I wrap my arms around her neck and rest my head against her chest. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” She grunts, gently pushing me off of her, which is exactly as heart-breaking as it looks, “Let’s just get moving, alright?”

Ouch…Okay, don’t bring attention to it, Chloe’s probably...Just as uber volatile as she sounds and looks. I follow her across the parking lot towards her rusty truck. Looking at it from the distance, it’s hilariously out of place in comparison to the sleeker and smoother looking cars it’s parked between. After Chloe unlocks the doors – the key getting stuck for a second or two, which she makes abundantly clear with exasperated profanity and very nearly hitting the car next to her with the door as she opens it, I climb into the passenger seat.

Wowser...It’s like everything Chloe touches becomes comfortable and safe feeling. The vulgar scrawls and…Terrible internet memes she’s scribbled everywhere are still as endearing as the first time I clambered in here to get away from Nathan Prescott – though, maybe that’s just because my taste in humour is as crappy as it is. I wonder how long this graffiti’s been here? Or how long she’s had this rustcan, or where she got it…

“You wanna maybe…Call your parents?” Chloe’s irritated tone sparks me out of my overthinking. Right, yeah. Mom n’ Dad, they still exist.

_Jesus you actually forgot._

“Yeah, I should…” Long winded sigh, “Let them know. They’re uh…Heh, not gonna be happy.”

“Still only a couple hours away from ‘em, Max.” Chloe states brusquely.

I rummage through my messenger bag with no response, for fear of pissing her off anymore. Hm...Camera, journal, bottle of water, school shit…Here it is, cell phone. Unlock the screen…

“Man, you can’t be cereal; only thirty percent power?”

“Y’can’t fit a charger in there? C’mon, time wizard; where’s that extension charm?”

Oof. Time travel related jokes – even bad, reaching and…Unrelated pop-culture-reference-combo’d ones still feel tasteless. I shrug it off, putting on a smirk at the fact that Chloe is at least showing some light-heartedness. “Har har. Whew…Crap, okay. I can do this. Can I get a prep talk to psyche me up?”

“Yeahno.”

“Thanks.”

I bring the phone to my ear and, in two ring cycles-

“-axine? Are you okay?” The start of mom’s hurried and flustered greeting is cut off.

“Hi mom, I’m okay. I um…Me and Chloe are going to be a little longer before we make it to Seattle.”

“…Oh. Is something wrong? Has the car run out of gas? A road closure? Maxine, your dad and I will gladly-“

“No, no, no. Mom, it’s okay. We’re just…Going back to Arcadia Bay for a little while, is all.”

“Oh.”

_'You're insane, Maxine.'_

“And um. I don’t really know how long we’ll be.”

_'My daughter is insane, Ryan!'_

"Um...W-Why does it have to be now?" Mom's composure seems to be going south fast, if the stuttering and wobbling in her voice has anything to say about it...

_'She would rather dig through corpses and rubble than see me!'_

"I...We, just really need to."

“Maxine…We’re both so worried about you and Chloe. Can’t you both…Just come home? I-I promise we’ll go to Arcadia Bay together, sometime, m-maybe it’ll be easier-“

A pang of emotion clicks in my head and I interject, “Well you never thought to take me back to see Chloe. Why would you now that…Now that the whole damn town’s just some wreckage?” and I practically see the ‘wait, what?’ on the punk in question's face at my accusative tone as her gaze darts to meet mine.

_Ooh, that was a good one. Bonus points 'cause Chloe was there to hear it._

“Maxine,” Mom’s voice takes a stern turn, “There’s no need for talk like that. As I was saying, Dad and I will gladly come and meet you two, if that helps-“

“No, no…I want it to just be me and Chloe.”

_Yeah, fuck you, mom._

She begins to raise her voice, “What about what we want? W-We know how stressful this has all been on you, and there’s no telling how dangerous it could be-”

“You know I’m not a kid!” Chloe silently mouths a ‘what the fuck?’ with widened eyes, “I was- I was just as stressed coming back to Oregon the first time, why is it different now!?”

“Maxine, I’m not trying to argue with you!” Mom exclaims, the lump in her throat blatant, “Don’t…Don’t talk like Dad and I haven’t missed you, okay? Don’t…”

She goes quiet on the other end, like she’s trying to contain any sobbing welling up… Actually, it’s just about here that I notice how much of a bitch I’m being…I-I could rewind it, maybe…?

_Yeah, let’s start that old habit of trial and error to get past the fact you’re a sociopathic prick._

No, no. I know how Mom can be. I need to be as firm and determined as she is. Shit…This is gonna be so awkward with Chloe here, when the call’s over. I can just barely hear Dad in the background... 

“Okay, okay.” Mom gasps tearfully, “Please, just promise me you'll be careful, Maxine.”

“I will. Mom, um…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She sobbingly reassures, "It's okay, sweetie."

“It’s…It’s so totally not okay. Love you.”

I tap the end call button and stuff my phone back in my bag before throwing my head back to meet the headrest.

“Jesus, Max…What the fuck was that?” Chloe sounds legitimately frightened.

“I don’t know.”

“Was that true what you said? Like…The blaming your parents part over not coming to see me?”

“No,” I sigh, pressing a hand to my forehead, “I’m just an asshole.”

* * *

“Chloe, please.”

She keeps her eyes forward on the road, barely turning her head my direction in order to acknowledge my existence. Chloe’s been doing this every time I try to speak to her for the past hour, now. “Let’s just talk, Chloe. Please.”

“Focusing on driving.” She murmurs with a grumble.

“We haven’t seen another car on this road for miles! Chloe, I know you’re not happy about this but just let me talk to you.”

“Not mad just thinking.” Chloe hastily says without the natural pause between words, her voice low and monotone.

I release a stressful breath and lean over to the window, resting my head against it. Part of me still feels…Ridiculous for dragging Chloe all the way back here, but we owe those people so much! We weren’t in our right minds when we left the first time, and…Maybe we still aren’t. I know this is the right thing to do, though. It has to be. I used my power for my own benefit, and people have suffered…At the very least, I can be there for Warren.

And maybe Chloe could use the closure! About Rachel and her parents.

I hope mom’s okay. I, um…Did come on too strong during our phone call earlier. I check my phone, having left it on the seat beside me…twenty seven percent power left, crap. Dad’s left me a message…

**[From: Dad]  
[Hey pumpkin, Mom says she’s sorry for earlier. Just do what you gotta do and be careful, alright? Don’t worry, I’m keeping her in one piece.]**

_I sure liked the part where you blamed **her** for your five year ignorance of Chloe._

Not now, please…

I watch the endless pine trees pass us by. It’s an environment I’ve always found comforting in the years I’ve lived in Oregon; a narrow road between dense forests, the far away mountains watching over me and the open sea never more than a few miles away. It’s almost…Fairy-tale like. I wonder if Chloe looks at it the same way…

“It really means a lot that you’re doing this for me.” I speak up, keeping my gaze on the endless forest speeding past my vision. A half-hearted, somewhat sarcastic hum of agreement is Chloe’s only response.

“I mean it, okay! The thought of going back to all of this sucks for me too!”

“Yeah, it does.”

I inhale a deep breath, readying myself to continue, “A-And I know you wanna move on from everything, but...Part of me feels like there’s things left unfinished for us in Arcadia Bay, like it’s not time to put it behind us, yet.”

There’s a pause of contemplation from Chloe’s end as she stares at the road ahead; “…Whatever.”

The what-can-barely-be-considered-a-response and irritated tone hurts a bit, but I keep going, “It’s…Gonna be tough for both of us, but we have each other, right? I um...I love you, Chlo.”

She breathes lowly in defeat, reaching a hand over to hold grip mine for a few moments, before it returns to the steering wheel. “I know, Maxi-Max, I know.” After a few seconds of silence in which I let the brief display of affection sink in, Chloe whimpers in a softer, barely audible tone, “Sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“I uh, gotta take my smoke break. Sorry.” She stammers a little, slowing the car as she points to a coastal overlook point down the road. I nod, muttering an “Okay”, a little disheartened at the reminder of Chloe’s habit. Parking her truck, she fumbles through her pocket for a crumpled pack of cigarettes, unbuckles her seatbelt and opens the door. “Just a few minutes.”

I follow suite, gently kicking the passenger side door open. “My legs need a serious stretch, anyway.” and, walking to the opposite side of the car I take a stance beside Chloe as she exhales the first of the gross chemicals she's putting in her lungs. Wowser...It's really spooky how there's no one else here. Just me and Chloe...And a ghost-town an hour away.

From here, I can see the ocean behind the more forest ahead. Umm...I was never any good at Geography, but Japan's across the water. Man...That would be a bitchin' vacation...Or Hawaii! Then again, Chloe's always wanted to go to Paris...Maybe I should tone it back a bit; I haven't even finished school, and it's not like I have any money right now to even begin with - or working experience to find a well-paying job...Hm, Portland's still on the table. Donuts, tats', weed...Or that roadtrip idea...

Eugh, Chloe exhales another grey, tainted breath out of her throat. The smell might make me think of her, but it's still...Super gross.

“If you don’t mind me asking, Chloe…” She slightly turns her head to just about face me; probably to avoid accidentally giving me a face-full of icky smoke. “How long have you…You know?”

“Started around the time David entered the picture. He **hated** it.”

Normally, I would expect this to be punctuated by a chuckle, or some mocking anecdote at her step dad's expense, but there’s no emotion in her voice. I release another stressed sigh at the reference of the elephant in the room we’ve both been trying to avoid talking about, making an effort to hide it. “I’m sorry.”

She reaches an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer for a light hug as she releases another smoky cloud to the air. “Please, don’t be. And yes, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

I watch Chloe’s face with an expression I can only assume could be described as ‘sadface’ as she takes one final extended drag of her nicotine stick and throws it to the ground. As she allows the sensation of it to sink in, her eyes meet mine. We hold the eye contact for a few seconds; it’s a strange feeling as we take in each other’s gazes, as if we’re speaking to each other through our eyes. Chloe’s are distant, sorrowful and loving all at the same time…Distantly sorrowful for the sake of love? I don’t know, I could just be crappy at reading emotions, I guess.

I raise my posture to meet Chloe’s taller stance, pressing my lips onto hers. This kiss is…Different than the one(s) yesterday. It’s not exciting or passionate, just…Sombre; I guess the taste of cigarettes doesn’t help. Chloe is the one to break the contact, the faintest glimmer of a smirk forming on her face. “What was that one for?”

I dig into my sweet-talk bag, hoping to fish out a decent flirt that I stutter out unsurely with an awkward grin. “I uhm, thought you might want a better taste in your mouth after your smoke break.” Eugh, yeah, it sounds kinda gross in hindsight, now.

“Oh God.” Chloe chuckles, cupping her forehead in a facepalm, “Credit where credit’s due, you hella tried.”

“Maybe you’ll make a seductress out of me yet.”

“Yeahno. You haven’t seen me flirt, Caulfield.” Chloe ducks back into the driver's seat with another, muffled chuckle, “C’mon, let’s get back on the road.”

I stifle my own giggle and nod before walking back to the passenger side of the car and crouch into my seat. Within a minute, we’re back to fifty miles an hour down the country road in at least somewhat higher spirits than we were before we stopped.

I’ll stay quiet for the rest of the trip; Chloe’s smile and slightly improved mood is a joy to behold, and I’d rather quit while I’m ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next up, more angst.


	5. Wreckage

I do not want to be here. Not one fucking bit. I see that ‘Welcome to Arcadia Bay’ road sign, with its worn face and chipped wood, and all I can think about is how much I want to fucking burn it. The rubble and ruin that comes into view through the trees is satisfying to look at, in the most psychotic, fucked up way possible.

Fuck knows Max’s parents aren’t ecstatic about **another** delay on our part…And I’m still freaked the fuck out over how she spoke to Vanessa, tellin’ her to back off n’ blaming her for all that shit. 

But Max needs to come here. I think I get it. It’s that survivor guilt or whatever.

Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it though, and I’ve made that abundantly clear; I don’t think me and her were able to hold a conversation the whole trip over…Not that I was letting us, anyway. The surprise kiss she gave me when we stopped for my smoke break was reassuring enough though. God…This relationship has had a shitty-ass start, hasn’t it? Once we’re through with all this, though…Head to Seattle, get settled in with the folks - Max, I’m takin’ you on that trip to Portland, and you’d better get my name tattooed on your fuckin’ asscheeks.

Speaking of Max, she looks like she’s seen a ghost as we approach the coastline. Can’t say I blame her…The length of the road ahead is still completely fucked; it’s tough to find a single building still standing. A few homes and structures that aren’t reduced to ruins seem to have been repurposed as emergency shelters, with tents set up around them and people loitering about. I slow the car and watch a small group of survivors go about their business…Maybe…Maybe one of them is-

No, Chloe. You looked. You fuckin’ searched and searched and almost hurt yourself scrounging through the ruins for any sign of her. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. I exhale my building grief in a heavy sigh and turn to face Max. “Whereabouts is your pal, then?”

Max shakes out of her daydreaming or whatever. “O-Oh, sorry…Warren said he’d meet us at the main camp…I think…That’s it over there.” She points to a large cluster of green tents on the side of the road, surrounding a heavily damaged building. Damn, this relief effort’s taking effect fast.

I pull the car onto the other side of the main road to which Max rolls her eyes at me; hey, I doubt anyone’s gonna give us a parking ticket, babe. As we exit the car, Max takes my hand…That’s a good sign, at least. I keep worrying that she hates me now…Ugh, stupid. I notice there’s a surprising lack of people at this supposed ‘main camp’, guess they’re all out getting shit done? Unlike us.

 It doesn’t take long for Max to break our hand-hold (to my disappointment) and almost sprint across the road.

“Warren!” She cries out. Well, there he is…I think. I have trouble recognising the man with the…Ouch, really fucked burns on the left side of his face, that cute nerd hairstyle I remember him rocking is now a singed mess...Yikes, looks like that burn scarring stretches down to his torso as well, because that arm looks ready to fall off with how gnarly the skin looks…Least I know Max won’t be cheating on me anytime soon, hah…Hah…

God, I’m an asshole.

I keep my distance and let them enjoy their reunion. “Warren, holy shit…Are you okay? What happened?” Max approaches slowly once the man's in hugging range, as if she’s in disbelief at how…different the guy looks. Yeah, that’s a polite way to put it.

He chuckles – bravado in the face of inner pain, I can respect that. “Max…Never better.” He points to the burnt side of his face. “Too much potassium in my last experiment.” They both laugh for a little while - well, for Max it’s more like crying and laughing at the same time. I don't get it...

"Warren..." Max absentmindedly whispers.

Yeeep, I’m just standin’ here. All awkward like. Just watchin’. Kinda goddamn the reason you’re even back in this shithole, Max.

“I’m so, so sorry I didn’t text you sooner.” Max chokes back a sob. “Is it a dumb question if I ask how you’re doing?”

I’m just great, Max, thanks for asking. Was loving that hand-holding thing we had going on there.

The betamale just sort of shrugs. “Been better, if we’re entering serious mode now…Finding out that you’re okay is pretty much the only good thing that’s happened these past couple of days.”

“I-I’m so speechless, Warren. I can’t Imagine how horrible all of this must be… Please tell me you’ve seen someone else from Blackwell.”

Exhaling a sigh and slumping his posture a bit, he stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Brooke’s alive, which is…Freaking awesome. The school got hit…Really, really bad, but she’s the smartest girl around so she managed. Just um…With a couple of broken legs. And she’s…Only got one arm, now. Crushed by some wreckage. I’ve uh, been doing a lot of self-blaming since I wasn’t with her to help.”

Brooke, Brooke…Think maybe Max might’ve mentioned her, once. Some chick with the hots for Warren? Dunno why he’s so fuckin’ obsessed with Max, when there’s a pretty clear candidate just asking for it. On that note, I’m keeping a sniper eye on those hands, bro.

“Oh my God,” Max whimpers, “How’s she holding up?”

“Pissed as hell that she’s gotta learn how to use her nose to play a 3DS.” Warren grins weakly, though he drops the jokey façade pretty quickly. “She’s…Not good, naturally.”

I butt in with a friendly disposition that doesn't at all match how I actually want to act; God, all this fuckin’ angst is gonna kill Max. “Sounds like she’s a survivor, dude. And speaking of, you’re lookin’ like a total post-apocalypse warrior…First that badass duel with Nathan Prescott, now battle scars!”

It nets a short chuckle from Warren, but I think that was more of a politeness thing because even Max seems to have taken offense to my rudeness.

“Heh, yeah…I was taking shelter at the Two Whales diner with um…That Frank Bowers guy with his dog, and Joyce Price. She asked me to grab some bandages and crap from the back room, since Frank’s leg was busted up and then-“ he inhales a sharp breath that I mirror at the mention of mom, “The whole place just…Exploded. I got thrown into the wall – spine still hurts like a bitch – and when I came to I just…Ran. I didn’t even notice-“ He places a finger on the damaged half of his face, “-This until I was in someone’s car they must’ve ditched, barely made it outta the town in time.”

So mom is definitely, undeniably, irrefutably, without a doubt gone. Yeap, could really use some Maximum cuddles, right now…

Warren turns his attention to me, which catches me off-guard in my little emo moment. “I’m…Next level sorry, I know she’s your mom. She was uh, telling me a little about you before…” He sighs. “Joyce was always the coolest person in Arcadia Bay.” I don’t really give a proper response, outside of an insincere ‘keeping up the tough punk exterior’ type grin.

Max places a hand on his shoulder. “There wasn’t anything you could’ve-“

“Yeah, I know, Max. Don’t even know what caused the explosion, anyway…”

There’s a short pause, during which Max’s mood takes a steep nosedive; she sniffles a few times, then begins to shake, and then…She just starts bawling uncontrollably, which thankfully draws my attention off of feeling sorry for myself. I approach her, but Warren promptly takes the initiative and takes her back into a tender hug - awkward. I play it off as best I can, resting a hand against my hip casually. It’s difficult to make out what Max is saying in amidst her crying, but I can definitely make out the consistent ’I’m sorry.”

Warren looks at me, which quickly tells me to drop that jealous glare I’m wearing. “D-Did I say something?”

I smile as best I can and cover my forehead to draw attention away from my last expression, which I imagine looks just as incriminating with how forced it is. “Hah, she has…Not been dealing with this shit very well.”

We let Max cry for a little while, during which I fuckin’ make sure to keep an eye on her and recompose myself. No nosebleeds so far…Still conscious…She calms down eventually and breaks the hug with Warren, a decision that I shouldn’t feel this stroke of relief or satisfaction at. She takes a step back, unknowingly taking a stance beside me – I can tell as she jumps  when I take hold of her hand. “All good, Max-a-Mil?”

She wipes her cheek and nods with a sniffle and a weak smile. “Y-Yeah.” An awkward silence. “Crap, I’m sorry, guys. I-I don’t know what came over me-“

“It’s cool.” That blush on the guy’s face from that little touchy feely is pretty blatant. Yeah, keep those eyes above the chest, fucker.

“I um…I don’t think you’ve properly met yet, have you?”

“Vortex party, Max. Then again, the man was drunk as a skunk.” I condescendingly grin.

“R-Right, right…Well, for good measure, this is my friend Chloe-“

“Good friend. Lesbian pirate friend.” I interject abruptly.

The two of them give me a stare – Max’s is that of disappointment I think as she tries to subtly shake her head at me, and Warren just looks bewildered. “Right…” Max sighs, “Warren, is there anything I can do to help? Please, anything…”

The fuck was that sigh and shifty look for, Max? Just tryna keep everything light-hearted…And maybe maintain my claim a little. We're fuckin' dating, babe, what do you expect?I think she notices my lack of interest in helping out, as she breaks our handhold and re-approaches the guy when he nods in response, then motions for us to follow. “Y-Yeah, of course. Are you guys sure you don’t wanna chill for a bit? I-I totally understand if you do, this has gotta be crazy stressful for you.”

“No, seriously it’s fine.” Max snaps somewhat, “Doing our bit is basically the reason we came back.”

Well, it’s **your** reason actually, babe.

“So…Not to see me, then.” Warren chuckles.

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Heh, well, anyway…I’m still trying to help clear a tonne of debris out of some nearby streets, scavenge what supplies I can, check the outskirts of town for survivors-“

I zone out from their conversation as I trail behind them like a sheep or something. There’s a lot of wounded and unhappy people walking about these tents…Is that guy missing an arm? Jesus…I quickly notice I’m staring when he gives me an angry look and I dart my gaze back to Max and Warren in front of me. What’re they talking about? Stabilising things around the town? Like I give a fuck about any of these people…

“I’ll help a little, sure.” I speak up, with a tinge of irritation stuck to my tone. Max gives me a grateful look; if she can keep that up, maybe this shitfest will be slightly worth it. Warren barely registers it as he won’t stop smiling at her. That scarred face is becoming more and more punchable by the minute…

It takes a few minutes, but Warren leads us to a surprisingly not completely ruined gas station. There’s an overturned red truck by the gas pumps- well rather, it’s overturned **onto** the gas pumps. The building itself is in better shape than you’d expect; the windows are smashed, mind you, but it doesn’t look like it would be a risk of the whole thing collapsing on you if you were to open the front door. There’s also…Shit, how did I not notice that car? Looks like the wind must’ve thrown it at the building, since it’s lodged in good. Paying too much attention to the back of Max and Warren, I guess...Or well, how I’d prefer it if I were only staring at the back of Max.

“So, what, just hoard all the shit in here until we can’t carry anymore?” I blurt out as we come to a stop at the front door, the ‘do I really **have** to?’ clear in my tone of voice.

Warren hands Max and I each a burlap sack. “It’s something I’ve been meaning to get outta the way, just doing my part for there being enough food and crap for everyone, you know? Which…Is why I’m gonna leave you guys to it, heh. Sorry…I seriously need to check in with Brooke.”

Max places a hand on his shoulder. “It’s no problem, seriously…And could you send Brooke my best? Let her know I’m totally gonna stop by and see her.”

The guy nods and takes his leave, thank God, with Max waving him off. “See you later,” They both say. Max turns and faces me, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

“Well…”

“Guess it’s just me you’re stuck with now, Maximo.” I say with enough passive-aggressiveness that even Max’s polite and benefit-of-the-doubtness wouldn’t be able to ignore. She seems to take it in stride with a chuckle, then walks through the space where a door should be into the gas station and looks over its shelves. There’s a metric shittone of crap in here…Most of it’s lying on the ground in a disorganised mess.

“So…” Max exhales, “Warren says to just grab all the canned stuff, plus whatever else could be useful.”

“Whatever else could be useful.” I mimic her mockingly.

“Well…I don’t know, Chloe. You’re supposed to be the detective here!”

And you’re supposed to back me up, Max.

“Well, whatever. It’s nice I can at least talk to you now.” I grunt as I lift a can of sweetcorn and drop it in the burlap sack, turning to face Max for her response. “Are you okay?” she asks with those genuine eyes and concerned voice.

Fuck, I don’t even know why, but my dumb brain says ‘deflect with snide sarcasm.’ “Oh yeah, I’m great.”

“That’s ‘Chloe’ for ‘not great’, right?” Max cynically remarks in a way I probably would in her shoes, so I try not to show how much I’m not in the mood for it.

I drop another can of food in the bag. “Yeah. So, how long until we’re back on the road to Seattle?”

Toss some more crap into the bag; more food, cola bottles, a toothbrush...Could be useful. Why do I even give a shit if it’s useful or not? I turn to face an unresponsive Max, now hidden behind the shelf in the middle of the room.

“Yo, Max.” I call out.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.” I groan.

“Look, Chloe,” Max enters srs business mode, “I’m sorry if I can’t put all this shit behind me, okay? I-I thought we were supposed to have each other’s backs, now more than ever.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” I say matter-of-factly, “Digging through rubble and death with you, just like after the storm.”

“R-Right, but-“

“But what, Max? How is it different now? That I’m being a bitch about it?”

“Chloe…” She whimpers from behind the aisle.

“Of course I’m gonna bitch about it, we could be in Seattle right now, with your parents, getting some well-fuckin’ deserved R&R for all the shit we’ve gone through.”

“B-But-“

“It’s not like this is fun, babe! Just like it wasn’t fun before, it’s kinda why we tried to…You know, leave?”

Max has gone silent behind this shelf. Shit, shit…My rage-moment begins to die down and I properly realise how I kind of tore into her, there. I strafe around the aisle to see Max leaning against it, holding a palm to her face.

“Fuck, shit…Max, I-I fucked up, there…”

“Y-You wanna know how it’s different, Chloe?” She lets a sob escape her throat. Shit, no, Maxi-Pad, please don’t cry again-

“It’s different because we…We love each other, right? We’re supposed to understand each other, right? Now more than ever?”

“M-Max, I fuckin’ do understand-“

“Then please just help me, Chloe!” She practically bursts out from her palms, “Please…” Then retreats back into them, a mixture of whimpers and borderline sobs emitting from her.

“Fuck, fuck, Max…” I move in closer, outstretching my arms for a hug as she once again opens up to watch my approach. Max accepts the embrace and rests her head against my collarbone. “I am being a bitch, I know,” I lowly say, “My bullshit’s probably the last thing you need. Please, Maximax…Please just don’t cry, okay?”

“Okay,” She sniffs, her breath catching on her throat. “Okay.”

“I’ve gotcher back, I always will.” I kiss the top of her head, practically latching my lips into her hair.

“I know.”

“I’m gonna be better at showing it. Seriously, I promise.”

* * *

 We spend the next…What, hour or so after leaving the gas station walking around, striking up awkward and uncomfortable conversations with strangers. Well, Max and Warren do, anyway; I just kind of nod and agree with everything in the backline like I’m some kind of socially anxious wretch. Most of these pricks are…Well, pricks. One guy immediately tells Max to fuck off as she asks if he needs anything, and another seems to like…Take offense that she hasn’t lost a family member or a limb or whatever.

“Hey!” I exclaim, taking a step forward to the guy, which gives me a clearer view of his missing leg.  “I get that you’re a fuckin’ scumbag and you need someone to blame for all this shit, but this girl actually wants to fuckin’ help you!”

The man looks at me, venom in his eyes and bruises across his face. “I don’t want your fuckin’ help, get it?”

“Chloe-“ Max tugs on my shoulder, but I’m not done with this guy.

“Do you wanna know how much shit this girl’s gone through, asshole?” I growl, “More than you can fuckin’…Even possibly imagine! Yet she’s still tryna listen to all you Arcadia Pricks’ problems n’ shit.”

"Well as you can God damn see," he pats a hand on the stump where his other leg should be, wincing in the pain of it, "I'm not exactly in the mood for a conversation!"

I scoff, taking a hold of Max’s hand and lead her a few steps away. She stops me once we’re at a relative distance from the man, Warren having taken a seat by him and having a helluvalot more patience than I ever could. Yeah, sure, guess if you've got some fuckin' deformity or obvious sign of loss you're allowed to chat with these fuckers.

“Chloe…” Max’s disappointed tone both ties a knot in my heart and adds to this growing frustration.

“What, Max? None of these fuckers have any right to talk to you like that. You’re tryna do **them** a favour, n’ all they can do is spit on you!”

“They’ve all gone through so much shit-“

“So have you! So…So have we.”

“Chloe-“

Our brief argument is cut short by middle aged man announcing his presence. “I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been through ‘so much shit’”, the tail end of his sentence turning sarcastic and mocking.

Max freezes on the spot looking at him. Instinctively, I make myself a barrier between the man and her, which gives me ample opportunity to analyse him. Well kept, short and greying haircut, creepy tinted glasses, an impressively square jawline and a formal jacket that screams ‘I have more money than you, can’t you tell?’

There’s a tense pause, like those wild west duel scenes in movies where the wind blows some dust and a tumbleweed across the screen. The man approaches us further, extending his arm for a handshake, “Apologies. Sean Prescott“- I swear I hear Max whisper his name like a ghost as he introduces himself -“And you…Must be Max Caulfield and…?”

I fold my arms in refusal of the handshake, giving a stern glare to Prescott. Truth be told, behind my brave face are butterflies welling in my stomach…This is real. Sean Prescott. The insane, strict bastard that made his son, Nathan the way he is…Was. What the fuck is he doing here? Just his presence seems to carry a sort of…Threat to it, and that’s without even mentioning how I can’t get a read on his motives here. Max feels it too, as she’s gone dead quiet behind me.

“None of your business…And how the hell do you know Max’s name?”

“Is the hostility really necessary?” He forces an innocent tone of voice.

“What the fuck do you want?“ I reinforce my stance in front of Max.

“I’m simply looking to introduce myself, maybe some conversation?”

“Just like Nathan?”

“My son is dead.”

“That’s on Jeffershit, not Max. **What the fuck do you want, asshole?** “

“I’m sure the turn of events is convenient for you both, is it not?" I think I've struck a nerve somewhere, since he's taken a more confrontational disposition to match mine, now.

"What the fuck-"

"I'm very well aware of your campaigns against Nathan.”

“Seriously? You’re just another fucker looking for someone to blame!” I'm ready to spit on the ground and tell this guy to fuck off, before-

“I’m sorry.”

I take a moment to let the whisper from over my shoulder sink in in disbelief. Max sheepishly utters it again. “I’m sorry.”

“Max…Wh-What the fuck?”

She sucks in a deep breath and slips around me, offering a handshake to Prescott; “It’s all just…A huge mess. So many people are to blame for what happened to Nathan…Including me.”

He’s looking at her in a sort of amazement, like he didn’t expect Max to be as pure and sympathetic as she is. "I...See."

“Max, no you’re-“ I try to interject.

“Chloe…Just let me talk, please. You’re…Not helping.”

I think its midway in her sentence, at ‘please’ that I feel it; the click in my brain that sends my heart dropping like a rock. I look at her in astonishment and disbelief, lips quivering as I speak. “W-What?”

She just stares me dead in the eye with stern resolve and, despite the tell-tale gulp of fear she intakes, it all leaves me fucking speechless long enough to notice Presc-shit behind her cross his arms and take a step back as if to remove himself from our argument.

“F-Fine, Max. Fine, I-I’ll…I’ll see you later. Just…”

I opt not to finish and sigh heavily as I turn and stomp off, my boots making a loud clamp with each violent meeting of the pavement.  A few feet away, I pause and briefly consider maintaining my pride and doing a complete one-eighty back to the belly of the beast…I’m not seriously leaving Max alone with this bastard, am I? The guy who fucked up his son Nathan enough to make the poor fucker follow in the footsteps of Jeffers – egh – Jeffershit? The moneygrubbing prick in charge of running this town into the dirt? Even if nature beat him to it, I’ll bet he’s still gonna try and siphon what he can from the people here…

No, wait. Max has her precious fucking Warren at her side, I’m sure she’ll be fine. Guy’s already thrown himself in the line of fire enough that I’m sure he’s more than happy to take another beating for her if need be.

Would probably just make her cry again if I stick around any longer, anyway.

Fuck…I need a smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next up, crawling.


	6. Glass and Whales

I toss the burning stub of cigarette onto the sand and exhale a frustrated sigh. Been sitting here…Twenty minutes or so now, I think my legs are going numb from dangling off this ledge for as long as they have. Should I send Max a text? Nah…Would probably just get in the way of whatever important shit she’s doing. Guess that’s all I'm good for for now.

I blow another frustrated breath with the faintest amount of smoke mixed in, and close my eyes. At the very least, I’ve always liked the nautical side of Arcadia Bay. That weird salty smell of the sea that’s both gross and relaxing at the same time, those seagulls flying overhead yapping away, the, er…Decomposing whale corpses dotting the beach…Fuckin’ hell, nature, of all the things your tornado could’ve swept away…

All things considered, though, hella more people alive than I would’ve expected. That’s…Good, I guess. Sure...

Argh! How long am I gonna be stuck here? Max and I are supposed to be at her place, cuddling in a bed or something, worrying about her education or my employability or whatever normal person shit happens to be flavour of the week…

I reach for another cigarette - only three left – and light it, taking as extended a drag as I can manage before I feel my lungs ready to burst. Hold it for a second…And exhale a glorious cloud of putrid chemicals. Been meaning to start giving up the habit, actually…For Max. God, when she came back into my life last week and we started doing cool shit together again…It made the prospect of improving my well-being and not slowly killing myself (in more ways than one) feel worth fuckin' something.

Fuck it, though. I’m pissed off, and I got nothing better to do.

I turn my abdomen away from facing the sea so I can scan the length of the coastal road: that busted gas station, a mess of cars that have been hastily pushed to the side of the road so not to block traffic, the Two Whal-

No, Chloe. Warren confirmed it blew the fuck up with everyone inside.

It can't hurt to look again, though...Right? For...Closure, or some shit. Fuck it.

I hop off the ledge and make my way down the sidewalk. It’s pretty much devoid of people along the entire length of the coast, like a god damn ghost town…

It’s a fifteen minute walk give or take, but eventually…I’m here. This is it. The titular whale sign is still embedded in the ground in the alleyway, the walls are still scorched and burnt and the roof is still collapsed, burying whatever’s inside.

As if my confidence about this shit couldn't sink any lower, the neon letters below the whale sign have been damaged and broken off to spell “DIE” as opposed to “DINER.” Yeah, you've already tried that a few times now, powers that be. But I'm still here, fuckers; got a guardian angel practically wrapped around my finger…Contemplative sigh.

Where’s the fuckin’ relief effort here, anyway? This place is more than a diner, it’s a fuckin’ treasure in this town’s shit history, it’s an important part of these townsfucker’s lives, it’s-

Just a relic now. A ruin. A grave.

I swallow my grief as I feel my throat becoming weak. Looking through the smashed windows, the front door’s not an option – that shit’s still blocked off good. I carefully step over a fallen lamppost to get around the back way and try the door there…Still swung wide open from the last time we were here. Looks like literally no one has searched for survivors here besides me and Max…Which makes it all the more likely David is gone too. Fuck…Fuck!

Furiously shaking my head brings me back to the present. The first thing I notice is all the cans of food that were here last time are missing; yeah, sure. That sounds like an Arcadia Bay resident; pick the corpse like a fuckin’ vulture…

I step over some burned wreckage that must’ve fallen from the ceiling, and poke my head into the next room. Fuck if I’m getting far in there…Whole place is caved in. It occurs to me now just how much adrenaline is pumping through my veins, turning my brain numb as my sorrow becomes harder and harder to swallow.

I shakily call out; “Hello?”

No response.

“Please, oh my God…Is anyone there?”

Nothing.

I see a little space in the wreckage I can just about fit my scrawny ass into. Maybe…Maybe someone is trapped in the bathroom, or they’re unconscious, or…I squeeze into the crawlspace. This is fucking stupid oh my God I know it is. This whole thing could heave under its own weight and crush me at any moment and yet I pull myself further and further into a tighter and tighter space.

“Joyce…? Mom?”

Still nothing.

I force myself through a particularly taut spot, gashing my arm against cracked concrete; I wince, but thankfully my numb senses allow me to focus on getting through the unstable wreckage above me, my heart beating so fast it's as if my whole body is pulsating. Fuck, I’m so glad I’m not claustrophobic…It takes a couple of minutes, as I’m taking it painfully slow so not to add to the amount of blood leaking out of me, but I slide into the relatively intact bathroom. I hold the minor wound I picked up on the way, growling an angry “Fuck”. There’s…Nothing here. Just rubble and-

Oh god. Oh fuck.  On the ground. Who…Who is that **? What the** **fuck is that?** I keel over, holding my stomach and throat as I feel my insides twist and turn while I try to stop myself from vomiting – My glance turns back to the charred, broken body hidden partially underneath the bathroom stall, and my reflexes send a grotesque mixture of saliva and stomach acid onto the floor.

I scream as I finish gagging, jumping to my feet. I stomp over to the smashed mirror behind the sink and ram my fist into it. Fuck this shit. **FUCK ALL THIS SHIT.** I turn around, tears streaming down my face - on one of the bathroom stall doors; “RACHEL AMBER 4 LIFE” is etched into it. I screech like a fuckin' banshee, kicking the door in so hard its’ already weakened hinges give way and it’s put into the wall behind it. I pace around the room, looking for whatever shit to break or bash my head against or kick until it turns to dust-

And then I fall to the ground, a sniveling mess curled up in a ball. I cradle myself as I hit my head to the floor.

“Fuck y-you, Rachel. Fuck you, A-Arcadia.” I choke my words out between pitiful gasps of sobbing; “I…I wish Max were here. Max…Please come here. Please...”

The sharp stinging pain in my hands draws my attention to the shards of glass wedged into my knuckles. It hurts…It hurts and I’m fucking glad it does. I grip a piece of it with my index finger and thumb and tug on it, sending a wave of fucking anguish through my whole arm until it’s plucked out and blood leaks through the torn skin - all the while I whimper and murmur incoherently in the searing agony.

And so I lie there, curled in the fetal position sobbing endlessly, the burnt carcass behind me constantly staring. Judging. You’re the one that should be dead, Chloe Price, I hear it say. You’re not even fucking sure who I am, but you know I’m worth fucking more than you. Maybe I’m Joyce, maybe I’m Frank; maybe I’m even Nathan fucking Prescott, but if our situations were reversed and you were lying dead in a bathroom, a lot more people more deserving than you would be alive and happy right now, wouldn’t they?

Mom and David would still be here.

The fuckers who killed Rachel would get what they deserve.

Hundreds of other innocent people would still be enjoying their lives.

And Max would have a fucking future not plagued by nightmares, guilt and doubt. Don’t pretend she wouldn’t get over you…She was managing just fine when you weren’t in her life those five years. You saw the way Warren looked at her; that compassion, that honesty and genuine care…She would’ve found someone to give a flying fuck about her the way you’ve been trying so hard to.

You can’t even let her grieve for the people she gave up to save you. The classmates trying to make something of their lives in a world working against them, unlike you.

The passers-by and the friendly strangers all dutifully contributing in their own way, unlike you.

The families living and working together, supporting and understanding each other.

**_Unlike you._ **

I have to leave. I have to leave this dark pit. I crawl to where the bathroom’s door once was and push my head through the space, then my torso, then-

Then I’m stuck. I scream to the fucking heavens as my hips are wedged in between broken slabs of concrete. I bury my face in the ground and then I bash it against the tile.

“Max…Max…Help me, please…”

Max isn’t here. She’s got more important shit to deal with than me.

She does. She completely fucking does. She’s so god damn selfless and pure and I’m just some self-loathing waste of life from her past that’s clinging to her like a fucking parasite. Just like I was with Rachel…

Max…

Max. Max. Thinking about her now seems to invoke some strength within me that wasn’t there before; I anchor my feet to the ground behind me, gripping the legs of a ruined table with my hands. Push and pull, push and pull…The rubble eventually gives way, and I force my waist through the opening, tearing another wound into my clothes and skin. I cry out in pain again. “Fuck!”

The caved in ceiling above me shudders for a moment and my heart stops in my chest as I lower my posture even further to lying spread out on my stomach. "F-Fuck..."

But it doesn’t collapse. I’m fucking free. I pull myself along the floor, the adrenaline coursing through my body helping me ignore the glass and mixture of broken plates, mugs and concrete that scratches and digs into my skin.

Max...

* * *

 "Hey, Brooke." I try to sound playful but respectful at the same time as I look at the pale girl lying in the hospital bed. It comes off sounding really freaking awkward.

It was...Strange, talking with Sean Prescott. He's...Definitely menacing as hell, and I do not want to have another conversation with the man ever again, but it was...Eye-opening? hearing his opinions on his treatment of Nathan...And it really does seem like he genuinely cared for him...Even if he was showing it in the worst way possible. It's...Interesting, seeing how your thoughts on a man can change when he's lost something. I guess when that something's his son, anything can make you feel sympathetic...

"Max." Brooke grumbles, pulling me out of my thoughts "First up, don't you dare baby me, that's what Apeboy is here for." She motions with her only hand towards Warren sitting by her bed.

I laugh - though once again, try to uncomfortably stifle it for the sake of respect. Brooke looks...Awful. Her bandaged legs are suspended up, with the...God, what do I call it? Stump where her other arm should be is equally as bandaged. She looks kinda...Weird, without her usual glasses, but I guess she doesn't need them if she's bound to a mattress. Her black hair isn't in that practical ponytail she always liked wearing, instead it's hanging loose at her shoulders.

"It's...A dumb question if I ask how you're doing, isn't it?" I take a seat by the opposite side of the bed from Warren, my sitting position probably looking as uncomfortable as I feel. Hands clasped together on my knees practically stuck together with glue? Yeah...I try and loosen up a bit, but there was always a certain...Tension, or distance between us when I spoke with Brooke at Blackwell, and that aura hasn't worn away in the slightest.

"Pretty dumb, yeah."

"Sorry..."

 She groans, bringing her head back to meet the pillow. "I shouldn't complain, I'm alive, right? Bright side of things."

"I'm so, so sorry, Brooke." I strain my words, "I-It must have been so horrible. I can't even...Begin to imagine."

"Pretty crappy. Was running for the girls' dorms through the courtyard at Blackwell when...I dunno what it was, but something hit me over the head and I was out cold. Woke up and there was a freaking overturned car on top of me."

"Oh my God...H-How did you..." I can't even bring myself to finish, from how horribly morbid the situation looks in my head.

 "Lots of luck. Some of the jock guys from Blackwell must've heard me screaming for help over the storm and got me outta there. Gonna be real freakin' honest...Didn't even notice-" She wiggles her shoulder without an arm attached to it, to which I internally shudder, "-This, until I was in the main building and they were trying to stop the bleeding. It's weird as hell, Max, like...It only started to hurt when I finally looked at it."

"Brooke..." I whimper, "I can't...I-Is there anything I can do? Th-That's another dumb question, I know..."

"Chillax, Max. I'm in a crappy mood but seriously, seeing you're good has lifted my spirits like you don't even know. I just wish more of us could've made it..."

I sniffle, feeling another weakness in my throat poking through as I go through the list of names. "H-Have they confirmed the..." I gulp the grief down, "T-The deathcount?"

"Not yet," Brooke sighs, "But...Shit, Max. I dunno if you want to know who's gone."

"I do."

"Alyssa." Brooke says after a few seconds of hesitation, "Daniel, Evan, Courtney, Taylor, Stella," Each name sends a sharp breath up my throat and a pain in my heart, "Justin, Trevor, Juliet, Dana... **Alot** of others..." Brooke goes silent to let it sink in and I suck in a deep breath. "Most of the teachers...Ms. Grant, Principal Wells...Did um...Did you hear about-"

_Jefferson._

"-Mr. Jefferson?"

"Wh-What?" I stutter out, desperately holding onto my composure.

"I heard he got arrested."

"Oh." I hold what must look like a thousand yard stare at the wall.

"You don't know anything about it either, huh?"

_You know everything about it._

"N-No, sorry..."

"That's crazy though, isn't it?" Brooke continues, to which Warren nods in agreement, "There was this rumour spreading around about him just before the shit hit the fan with the weather, then the storm passes...And literally the first thing we found out was that he's been arrested and dragged to the next town over by the police."

"Y-Yeah, wowser, crazy..." My voice trails off into a barely audible mumble while I face the floor.

"I wonder what he could've done?"

_Oh, I wonder._

"Mr. Jefferson was always so cool..."

_Always took the best photos._

_Always took the best subjects._

_Always took the shot._

_Always take the shot._

"Yo, hey, Max." I shake my head up to see a look of confusion and worry on Warren and Brooke's face, "You okay?" He asks.

_Not in the fucking slightest._

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay. Just, um...Wowser, y'know? I can't believe Mr. Jefferson would do something like that." A brief, tense silence between the three of us, before I hastily stand up. "I-I've gotta go, guys. Sorry...It's um, hella stuffy in here a-and, learning that about Mr. Jefferson is really...Wowser, y'know?"

Warren stands as well. "Max? What's up?"

I make for the exit from the medical tent, shaking my head. "It's nothing, Warren. Seriously, I-I'll come back in a few, okay?" I duck through the flap, covering my eyes as the harsh sunset beams onto them and exhale a deep, stressed breath.

_This is fucking golden. Mr. Jeffershit is actually alive._

Why...Why, of all the good people who could've survived...

_It's like...Destiny, isn't it? Didn't you say that to Chloe or something last week?_

Chloe...I need Chloe. I grab my phone, my shaking hands making the touch screen unwieldy as hell as I power-walk through the camp looking like a nervous wreck. Messaging, messaging...N-No, not the internet browser...

Fuck, shit, not the flashlight app.

Not the pictures albu- There, messaging.

 **[To: Chloe <3]**  
**[How are you? I'm super sorry about sending you off, earlier. I really want to be with you, right now. :( >.<]  
** **[Sent!]**

Hurgh. That was a total dick move, earlier...

_You knew she didn't want to come here._

Yes...

_Yet you dragged her all this way._

To make a difference here!

_Then cast her aside like a tool that's stopped being useful._

No, no! I would never do that and you know it! I've just...I've just got so many fucking things to worry about!

_You don't think she's got her own shitty trauma to deal with?_

I-

My phone beeps in my pocket and, as quick as the notification tone finishes chiming it's in my hand with the screen unlocked.

 **[From: Chloe <3]  
** **[im by the car]**

Fuck that is convenient and it's great. I hurriedly slip between the last two tents at the edge of the camp onto the sidewalk-

There she is. Across the road. Chloe...I slow my pace as I cross the road, eyes fixated on her; she's sat on the hood of her car, facing away from me, towards the sea. Looks like she's having a cigarette...Wowser, she looks...Wowser. With the sunset, and the blue hair and the...Everything. If I were ever going to snap an Everyday Heroes contest photo, this would be it...

"Chloe!" I call out as I'm halfway across the road. She slowly turns and faces me, before hopping from her seat onto the ground. I'm so fucking relieved to see her that I'm late to notice-

“Chloe…Holy shit…O-Oh my God...Are you okay?” I freeze on the spot as I look upon her with wide eyes and open mouth.

Covering the length of her arms is a plethora of cuts, bruises and scratches. Her clothes are ragged and ripped, revealing even more minor wounds underneath them. I practically sprint the rest of the distance between us to just…Do something. Hug her. Kiss her. I don’t fucking know what I should do, or why she could be in this state…But she outstretches her arms and holds me back, causing my heart to drop like a rock.

“Max…We’re leaving.”

_Leaving this place to rot._

“Wh-What? Chloe, I told you-“

Her voice rises to a point that I recoil in fear. “I know what you fucking told me, Max!”

_And I don't give a shit._

She goes silent, aside from the heavy breaths that I can tell are attempts to fight back any crying. Getting a closer look at her now draws my attention to…

“Chloe…Oh my god-” I gesture towards the frighteningly deep and still bleeding lacerations along the length of her arms. “Chloe…I’ve- I’ve got to find you some first aid-“

She suddenly grabs a hold of my shoulders, an action that frightens me enough to prompt that fight-or-flight response trance. “No, Max…Fuck this town. Let’s just leave, please-”

_So no one can have you but me._

I pull away, almost violently so and scream, “Chloe! I’m not fucking leaving! These people need my help! I…I fucking murdered them! S-So many people are dead because I made the most fucking selfish decision in the history of decisions! I’ve…I’ve got a fucking voice in my head constantly reminding me how I’m a heartless, self-serving cunt! I…”

I pause, recollecting my breath and thoughts. Chloe is staring at the ground. I don’t even notice the tears falling from her face until I continue ranting. “And you…You don’t fucking understand! You just want to wash your hands of this shit and move on…Well the blood on my hands won’t just wash off, okay!? I…N-Now just let me see to those…Those…”

Chloe steps back and slumps to the ground, burying her face in her palms. No, fuck…I try to place a hand on her shoulder, but she venomously swipes it away. “Fuck off!”

I don’t want to cry, but that pushes me over the edge. I manage to whimper out an “I’m sorry” before-

“Maybe…Maybe you should’ve let me fuckin’ die then, Max! Fuck knows Arcadia Bay wants me in a grave, and we both know how much you love this shithole now!“ She hides her head between her knees as tears drip onto them and I’m fucking speechless. I need to say something. What I said was so out of line. I can’t…I’m trying so hard not to collapse in a sobbing mess myself-

“And I could tell how fuckin’ excited you were to be rid of me earlier! Didn’t even look back to check on me! What the fuck happened to ‘I love you’, Max!? Fuck…Fuck! Here, the sea’s right there, why not fucking…Drown me instead of yourself like you tried to the other day!? It's my fuckin' fate to die a pathetic as shit death apparently anyway, isn't it!?”

I can’t. I can’t hold it back. I fall to my knees, then onto my side and curl into a ball as I fight back these tears...But it doesn’t take long before the floodgates open and I bawl into the palms of my own hands. Chloe lowers her voice - having used up most of her energy on the screaming no doubt.

“Max, I…I found a body in the Two Whales, Max.” Her sniveling resumes. “I don't know who it was, but I hurt myself, Max…I hurt myself so much…I just wanted you there with me, like you always are…But you weren’t there-”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” I repeat it over and over as I lift myself onto my knees and outstretch my arms to beg for a hug, which, after some awkward fumbling turns into a pitiful looking cuddle on the cold hard ground. We just…Lie there, letting the emotions run dry out our eyes and mouths, all the while I shakily whisper “I’m sorry” again and again.

“Max…I…I just want to go home with you.” She speaks up, our sobbing having calmed down to a point we can form coherent sentences. “I just want…A fucking family. I thought I could put all this shit behind me, Max…I was trying so hard to be strong for you. I…I knew you’d blame yourself for my mom, you’d worry that I hated you for her dying in that fucking diner…”

“Ch-Chloe, we’ll…We’ll go to Seattle, Chloe…I promise. I…I just…I just want to be happy with you. I fucked up so bad…I keep trying to balance the fucking universe on my forehead a-and it keeps crashing down on top of me-“ My desperate ramblings fall on deaf ears as she continues her own spiel, though.

“And…And I was managing pretty well, considering.” Chloe fakely chuckles, almost dipping into a crying fit again as she gasps back a sob. “But I’m…So fucking stupid, Max. I went back to that fucking dark pit of a diner, n’…N’ seeing that body on the ground-“

“Chloe…”

“I’ve…I’ve never felt so broken, Max. Even when you left, five years ago…M-Maybe it’s ‘cus, as I was trying so hard to hide from that fucking horrible corpse just…Looking at me, I did feel alone like that again. You…You were so far away, Max. In my head there were…So many horrible thoughts – I hadn’t fallen that much since…Since William.“

Chloe examines the length of her arms and the other cuts across her body; something I’ve been doing my best to avoid looking at. Seeing Chloe physically hurt like this – it reminds me too much of all the times I’ve lost her, the times that her wounds have been fatal.

Nathan Prescott - Gunshot to her chest as she bleeds out onto the Blackwell bathroom floor. The junkyard on the outskirts of town – Chloe’s foot trapped on a railroad track as a speeding train turns her into a cloud of red. Mr. Jefferson ( _always take the shot) -_ Gunshot to her skull as I helplessly watch her slump to the ground. Doesn’t she accidently shoot herself in the stomach in one timeline? Chloe…That's not even fucking funny.

And I could’ve lost her again, for good. I threw everything away so that I wouldn’t have to…And yet here I am, trying to take back what I promised Chloe would never be as important as her.

We lift ourselves off the ground onto our feet and continue our hugging and shoulder-crying from there. At the very least, the crying has devolved to a calm snivel from both of us rather than an obnoxious joint bawling fit, anyway…

“Ch-Chloe…” I take a deep sniff and wipe at my nose. “I’m…So fucking sorry. I can’t…I can’t tell you how much. I got so…Fucking obsessed with this stupid guilt and wanting to…Wanting to fix the whole world like I always do that…That I forgot why I made the choices I did.”

A small, hopeful smile forms on her lips as she rubs at her eyes with the heel of her palm. I place a hand on Chloe’s cheek – something that I know is corny as fuck and they only do it in movies, but I just need to…To feel her – to know she’s still there after having just relived all the times that she wasn’t. “I forgot that…That you’re all that matters to me. I let my regret just fucking…Control me, and I dragged you into a horrible fucking world that you just wanted to leave-”

“Do…Do you regret-“

“No.” I snap, my voice still trembling, “I’m so fucking stupid for letting myself regret…Any of what I did. I knew exactly what I was giving up when I let that stupid fucking storm run its course, Chloe…And I still keep trying to act like I can do everything, like I can save everyone…”

Chloe sniffles her last bit of sorrow and weakly chuckles, placing her own palm on my cheek – god, someone make a movie or cliché romance novel out of us at this point. “You are Super-Max, after all.”

“I wish…”

“You’re my superhero.”

“I think…I finally realise that’s all that I want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next up, an angel.


	7. Jane Doe

The sun’s almost completely set over the horizon, now. Chloe and I have barely managed let go of each other since we scooted in together in her old truck and cleaned and bandaged up her wounds (thank god she keeps a first aid kit in the glove compartment), but I just want…I just want to embed myself to her, melt into her…Promise myself I’ll never take her for granted the way I did…We’re two halves of a whole, and I could’ve split us apart.

_You are truly fucking obsessed._

I don’t care. I’m happy.

_So, all that effort to help the town and you’re just gonna walk away like the heartless bitch you are, again?_

I am. For good this time…I chose Chloe over everything else, and I’m never going to forget that again.

_Ignorance is bliss, I guess. You’ll never be able to ignore me, though._

Chloe will be with me the whole way.

_For our sake, I hope so._

I know she will be. We…Can’t live without each other. We’ve proven that time and time again.

_Completely obsessed._

I groan angrily and Chloe gives my arm a squeeze – a welcome reprieve from my thoughts. “Sorry,” I put on a smile, “I’m okay. Just…Still thinking.”

I take the short silence that ensues to just…Look at her, leaning back against the door, her eyes fixated on me. Look at her face – splattered with dust, grime and residue from her tears.  Her arms – wrapped in bloodied bandages with other, less serious scrapes and bruises filling in the gaps. Her hair is an absolute mess – not as bad as mine, at least – and I only notice now she’s stopped wearing her beanie. Her clothes are in absolute tatters…It would actually look kind of cool, all those rips and tears in the fabric,  if all the other reddened bandages underneath them didn’t remind me of the shit she went through that caused them.

Mngh. We really can’t live without each other, can we? Looking at her now…This is what happens when I’m not there with her. The five years we were apart, too…Her life was turned to complete shit. Besides Rachel, anyway…

And I dread imagining how my life would go on had I stopped the tornado. It’s not something I’ve taken the time to think about - just how **would** things be different if I had gone back and just…Let Chloe die instead? Would I have just…Moved on? Built stronger bonds with Warren, Kate, maybe even Victoria? Would they have…Replaced Chloe?

_Probably, you’ve already done it once._

I guess the fact that I **didn’t** let her go is proof enough that I **do** need her. Even when I was separated from her in Seattle, going through high school…I never grew close with anyone to fill the hole; I didn’t want to. Most of those five years feels like a blur in my memory as I look back, but I can’t remember ever being…Happy. I wasn’t unhappy, per say, just…Empty.

“I wanted to ask something, Max. During our little screaming contest earlier, you mentioned…A voice in your head?” Chloe breaks the silence and my dark train of thought, thankfully. Urgh. I was hoping she wouldn’t ask, though. I lean my head back with a sigh, turning my gaze to the car’s ceiling. With an exasperated “Alright” I make eye contact with her again.

“Remember when I passed out on the beach during the storm?” Chloe nods. “I had the most…Horrible nightmare ever – like, next level shit.” I exhale a sigh of exhaustion. Just thinking about this seems to sap my energy away…

_I’ll take that as a compliment._

Chloe seems to take notice and grips my hand tightly. Just looking at those encouraging eyes is enough to give me a bit of a boost to continue. “I saw…So many fucked up things, Chloe. Like, as if all the worst things and all my insecurities from that week were rolled into one dream: all the people I met and tried to help, all the decisions I made, all the things that…That Jefferson did to me. All of it turned against me in my own damn head, Chloe.”

“Jesus, Max...”

I nod, gulping down another dose of angst. “Then…I spoke with. Em…Me.” Chloe raises an eyebrow and cocks her head in confusion to which I flap my arms in the air, “I have no fucking clue what she is, Chloe. Maybe she’s some kind of punishment I’ve made up for myself, a la Silent Hill  or whatever. She tells me she’s…Me from another timeline. I don’t know what that means, though! When I jump between different timelines, do I…Leave a piece of me behind? Or…Bring a piece of me back? It’s so fucked up, Chloe! I don’t know, M-Maybe I’m just fucking insane!”

“Max…”

“And she never shuts up! Anytime there’s a quiet moment she’s whispering in my ear, reminding me about all the times I’ve messed up o-or misused my powers or made a shit decision and making me doubt myself…And you. She’s trying to turn me against you, Chloe! But…But I still don’t even know if ‘she’s’ a different Max, or if I really have that little confidence in myself I need to make up a person to punish me, or…Or…It’s so fucking confusing, Chloe! I don’t-!”

I’m gently pulled into deep embrace – which is enough to shut me up as I rest my head into Chloe’s collarbone. She takes to stroking the back of my head, running her fingernails through my hair in that comforting way she does. I don’t expect her to say anything, it’s why I didn’t even want to tell her about all of this...How can she understand how fucked I am in the head when even I don’t?

“So, like…This other you…Is she cute?”

Caught completely off-guard, I sputter a giggle in surprise out; loosely working a “The fuck?” in there.

“W-Well, you know...I’m just asking.”

“I mean…She looks like me, I guess.”

“So like…If I make out or cuddle or do sexy times with you…I’m doing it with like, two of you at the same time?”

I mutter a slow, unsure “Uh huh.”

“That’s actually…Kinda hot.”

I burst into laughter, snickering and snorting in my cringey nerd fashion throughout. “Chloe! Oh my god…You are the biggest dork! So messed up…”

“Hey! Okay…A threesome with two of you wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen in my life.”

“I almost don’t wanna ask what the weirdest is…”

“My best friend gets time travel powers, saves my fuckin’ life, I go to a fuckin’ **Vortex Party** -“ Chloe shudders with sounds of disgust, “Become a wannabe detective, witness fuckin’ God destroy my hometown…”

I think Chloe notices she’s struck a nerve with that last one, as she meaningfully grips my hands. “But the weirdest thing…? You came back into my life, Max. That’s something – I couldn’t have fuckin’ predicted that. I mean, I – you know – I just - I…Fuck, I’m still hella bad at this mushy shit.”

I peck her nose with my lips, the smile returning to them. “A for effort.”

Chloe just kinda…Gazes into my eyes in that dumb romantic way, her own lips open to mouth-breather level. Hehe…The dumbfounded smitten look goes really cutely with her punk exterior, actually. I give her nostrils a gentle squeeze between my thumb and index finger with a snicker. “Is that your on-off switch? Or are your eyes always lit up like that?”

“Oh, shit…I’ll have to remember that one,” I think I’ve knocked her out of her trance as her eyes re-focus. “Can’t really use the banana-in-your-pocket one with us, after all…”

“Gross.”

“Yeah,” She boasts, “You love it.”

I scoff, waving my hand dismissively as I put on an exaggeratedly posh tone. “Your crass humour is most dissatisfactory.”

“Yeah?” Chloe grins mischievously as she scoots over towards me. “Whadoya think about…”

“Oh no-“ I barely have time to say anything before her hands are on my sides, fingers tickling and digging against them. “This!?” She laughs as I fall onto my back, barely able to fit various pleads for her to stop in a midst my giggles. “Ch-Chloe!” I cry out in frantic laughter as she takes a position over me, practically pinning me on my back, “S-Stop!”

“Whassat, m’lady? Still not satisfactory enough?” She eyes me playfully and devilishly, easily fighting off my desperate attempts to worm out of her grip.

“You - are - the worst!” I squeak and gasp out from my winded chest, “Stahp, stahp! Chloe!”

A few agonising moments later, Chloe removes her hands from my sides and firmly plants them on my arms as she gazes down at me. By the time I’ve come up with a decent insult to jab at her with, she brings her posture down and presses her lips to mine.

Wow-ser. It’s…Pretty incredible, just how much I needed this kiss. I close my eyes, allowing myself to block out the world around me and focus on the feeling of Chloe’s face against mine, her hands sliding down my arms and gripping my hands, her chest brushing against mine- Oh.

That’s new.

“Chloe-” I breathe her name lowly in a brief ‘come up for air’ moment, which she (thankfully) seems to take as a signal to stop. She makes a little more distance between us, (by which point I’ve regained my own composure) bringing a hand to run through my hair as she looks at me with half-lidded eyes and a comfortable smile. “Max,” She mirrors, pausing for a few, meaningful seconds, before she scrambles to put on her all too familiar confidence and bravado. “See? You love it.”

“Pfft,” I scoff as she lifts herself off of me and I sit up straight. “Torture me with tickles then balance it out with some gentle smooching…And I was the one trying to sound like an evil mistress!”

That earns a laugh from Chloe. “Hah! Hehe…Hot and cold, pain and pleasure…Mistress is pleased, Maxine.”

“Oh, god, don’t start that crap.” I lean into her and let her arms wrap around me, hoping it’ll shut her up or something. Okay no, yeah I just like more Chloe Cuddles. “But, yeah, I love it or whatever.”

“Or whatever.” Chloe mimics dryly as she begins to run her hands up and down the length of my back, burying a kiss in my hair.

“Jesus, woman,” I sigh, putting on a dramatic voice. “I love you, Chloe Elizabeth Price! Now and forever more! I was lost before you re-entered my life, and now I have purpose once more; to love and care for you like no other!”

“Nice!” She sputters a giggle, “You even said the full name to make it extra corny.”

“I bet you’re gonna be the queen of corny when all this crap settles down.”

_Haha, you think I’m gonna settle down eventually. Cute._

“Yeah,” Chloe gives me a squeeze in her arms, “Gonna write you poems n’ buy you flowers n’ shit.”

“No way you’re being sarcastic. I can totally see you writing cute poems, Chloe.”

“Nah babe, shit like that’s only for when you’re tryna get to first base.”

“So much dork.” My comment gets another, more triumphant chuckle out of her, before we fall into a comfortable silence – which is broken by Chloe a minute into it.

“But…Real talk, Max. Realsies talk. This…Other Max or whatever-“

“I’m sick of her. I hate her so much,” A sound of genuine fear grips my voice, “Chloe…I’m scared of her.”

Chloe intertwines her fingers in mine and gives me a meaningful look; another horribly cliché gesture that I happily welcome. “I’m with you all the way, m’kay? I got no fuckin’ idea how to deal with a time travel brain…demon thing, but I fuckin’ promise you I’ve got your back for whatever shit she puts you through.”

I emit a short hum in approval and lean back into her. I don’t know if I can move on from the shit I’ve seen…The shit I’ve done. But what I do know is, Chloe will be with me no matter what, and I’ll never forget why I chose her.

_Good luck._

* * *

_Sunday, October 13_

_Missed a pretty important diary entry yesterday, huh? I’ll mark down the quick version…Not that I think I’d forget any of it, anyway. Me and Chloe are a lesbian pirate couple (her words, not mine) now. The Other Max from my nightmare is officially a thing, and I’m probably going to have a brain aneurism at this point with all these damn migraines and nosebleeds she’s giving me._

_Fast forward to today…I came this close to ruining our new relationship as quickly as we confessed our feelings. Stupid, stupid…I should write it a million times just so I’ll never forget how stupid it was of me to drag Chloe back to Arcadia Bay – the place she so desperately wanted to leave, now more than ever just so she can just try and put the loss of what’s left of her family behind her…Deaths that I caused._

_Lot of fucking help I was in that regard…Force her back here then abandon her so she can traverse the graveyard alone while I run off and try to help…I don’t fucking know. Warren and I talked with some survivors, provided some moral support and spread some food provisions around refugee camps, but…None of those people mean anything to me, and…I forgot the promise I made – Chloe comes first. And because of that, she suffered…So much. I still can’t get the image out of my head…All those wounds on her body, many of them self-inflicted._

_We’re okay though. We’re cool. I love her so god damn much and I’ll never forget it or take her for granted again…We’re spending one night in Arcadia Ruin to rest up, then we’re going to Seattle…For real this time._

_P.S. Sean Prescott is exactly as creepy and unsettling as I expected. Hoping to avoid running into him again._

_P.P.S. I’m so stupid for hurting you like that, Chloe. I love you...Sorry, just another self-reminder._

I make a few doodles and emojiis across the page – A sad face and a love heart here and there, a little drawing of me and Chloe, ending it off with a hastily done scribble of a generic city skyline. Afterwards, I stuff my journal back into my messenger bag.

Part of me is glad Chloe needs a smoke break now and then (well, not glad, but you know), as it gives me an ample chance to spew my memories and thoughts of the day onto paper without fear of snooping. I…Really hope I can help her kick the habit one day, though. Maybe when our lives go back to normal, she’ll be happy and stable enough to not need the cigarettes anymore…Hopefully.

Until then though, I wait for her to finish ruining her lungs some more in this dingy tent.

Things are at least looking up, though. The massive weight of guilt in my chest over…Everything feels a little bit lighter. I guess Chloe can have that effect if I just let her. Chatting with Warren some more helped as well. I don’t think I can truly describe the relief I feel in knowing him and Brooke are alive…Then I wonder how I’m going to tell him I’m leaving again, and the worry returns.

_Don’t forget how you reject all of his affections despite all the shit he’s done for you._

Yeah…I know. I’m worried if he’s figured it out yet – Chloe’s lesbian pirate comment earlier was not ideal…Even if it was kinda funny.

_Breaking hearts is hilarious, isn’t it?_

Urgh. There goes my relatively upbeat mood. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts…No sign of any other Blackwell students around town…We’ve basically confirmed Joyce is gone, no sign of David, either…

No, damnit…Positive, brain! Mngh…The migraine pulsating in my head is a clear indicator I’m slipping into dark thoughts again. I lay back in the mattress without a bedframe I’ve been sitting on, grasping my forehead.

_It’s nothing you didn’t already know; big surprise, you’re a selfish asshole and everyone’s dead because of it._

I know.

_And you’re ditching the one fucking survivor from Blackwell to live it large in the big city._

I know.

_Screw Warren though, right? Clingy motherfucker would probably just complicate your new relationship if you let him stick around too long._

…

_Wonder why he never talked about his family with you at all. Is it safe to assume he’s stuck in this ruin while you’re enjoying twenty-four-seven lovin’ in the comfort of your own home?_

Yes…

_And look at you, you don’t even give a flying fuck about any of it._

You know I do! But-

_Yeah, yeah. Chloe comes first. Can’t wait for you to use that one when a tornado’s coming for Seattle and your parents’ lives are on the line._

…

_The worst part? I know for a fucking fact that you’ll still choose the bitch…Since-_

Yeah, I know. You’re me.

_And you’ll put on that face of guilt and shame that you wear so fucking well, but deep down-_

I wouldn’t regret a thing, I know. Now please…Just shut up for a fucking minute…

I’ve been doing a surprisingly good job of not breaking down into what would be millionth sobbing fit these past couple of days as I exhale a much needed sigh, close my eyes and do what I do best; block out the world around me.

…

……

“Eh? Max? Who- Oooh.”

Chloe’s voice muffled by the shelter between us sparks me out of my self-loathing trance. Then footsteps, then the tent-flap opens-

“Kate…? Oh my god, Kate!”

In an instant, I’m on my shoe-less feet on the chilly concrete ground and throwing my arms around the blonde-haired angel. For a change, the tears that instantly begin to stream down my cheeks are those of relief and joy. The shorter girl buries her own crying face against my neck. “Max…I can’t believe- Wh-When I heard about the storm, I thought the worst-“

I think it’s the moment from when I lay eyes on her face until a few seconds into our hug. Everything feels right in that instant; just pure, untainted delight.

We pull it back a bit and grip each other’s biceps to spend a moment just looking at each other, as if to confirm that yes indeed, your dear friend  from Blackwell is alive and well and in your arms. I notice that Kate isn’t wearing her hair in that tidy bun she usually does; instead, it’s in a short ponytail. Her attire also seems slightly more…Relaxed: A simple white dress-shirt (Yikes, untucked and no top button; rebel alert) and dark blue jeans, plus her usual white sneakers and black cardigan.

“Kate…H-How did you know-“

“Warren.” The girl grins through her joyous tears.

“Hah, right…Kate, You being okay it’s…I don’t think I can put into words just how happy I am.” I briefly chuckle-sob, “It’s almost like…”

“A miracle?” She cuts me off, smiling so innocently and genuinely as she does. “I was…Out of town, with my family.”

I’m still running it through my head, even now; Kate is alive. She wasn’t caught in the storm. She wasn’t hurt. She’s safe. It’s so fucked up to think that her suicide attempt indirectly saved her life, as no doubt she must’ve been spending time with her family as part of her recovery efforts.

_Then again, “fucked up” is a common theme with you, nowadays._

I only notice now that Chloe has been watching our reunion with a smile. Kate and I release our hug, wiping our eyes again for good measure.

“This is my friend, Chloe. W-Well, more than a friend…”

Chloe raises an eyebrow for a second, and her surprised expression quickly turns to one of…Gratitude? She nods and enters the tent, offering a handshake to Kate. “Hey.”

To her surprise, the shorter girl gives her a hug – a sheepish and brief one, but a hug nonetheless. “Thank you.” She says quietly when they break apart and they both do their best to avoid eye contact, “I can…Already tell you’ve helped Max, so much.”

“Er…Th-Thanks.” Chloe faintly blushes, “That’s eh- Quite the foresight, or whatever.”

We all sit down on the old mattress after that awkwardness and just…Chat. I explain me and Chloe’s history – our childhood, our five years apart, the last week, our plans and…The full extent of how much we mean to each other. The info doesn’t seem to surprise or faze Kate at all which I did not expect. It seems like an assholeish thing to think, but I always just…Assume things about religious people and their views on like, gays or whatever.

Kate explains how she had been staying at her aunt’s house (much to her dismay), but the time spent with her sisters and dad seems to have more than made up to it. She really does seem…Better. The day she tried to kill herself was horrible, I distinctly remember the hopelessness I felt for her; the worry that I would never see her smile or be happy again.

And she isn’t “fixed” or anything, god no. She still has nightmares, she tells us - still feels the prick of the needle on her neck sometimes. That fucking video is still on the internet and having gone through some of the same shit she did now means I’m well informed about how horrible and traumatic it is to be…Used like we have.

Of course, I don’t mention any of my time in Mr. Jefferson’s Dark Room, since none of it actually happened in this timeline – though I do almost slip up once or twice, managing to side-track the conversation afterward (with some help from Chloe) one way or the other.

_Remember when Chloe said “All those moments were real and they'll always be ours”? Now you’re picturing Jefferson say it. You’re welcome._

Ugh.

I tread my hand across my forehead. It’s become something of a nervous or irritated tick, ever since I started at Blackwell…And I think Chloe’s picked up on that, as she reaches a bandaged arm around my back and rests it on my far shoulder. I give her a smile – a smile that I’m certain she can tell I’m faking.

Kate also gives me a concerned look. I guess I don’t blame her too much, since I’ve mostly been staying out of the conversation for the past couple of minutes…Something about the best cafes in Seattle or whatever.

The awkward silence is broken by Chloe, “Max is alright. Just uber stressed over everything, y’know? Migraines n’ shit.”

“I understand. It’s getting late as well, and you guys must be exhausted. I’ll bet my dad is starting to get worried about me as well, heh.”

I speak up, and my tone comes off more like a desperate plea than I expect, “You don’t have to leave because of me, Kate. A dumb headache is nothing compared to what you’ve gone through.“

“Max…” Kate pauses thoughtfully, “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“No, it’s-“

“Really, don’t worry about me.”

I wish I could tell her; tell this girl everything. About how no: it’s not okay, and no: I’m not okay. About how all of this is my fault, how Kate now needs to rethink her entire life as her future at Blackwell is as dead as her friends that attended it.

_And you get to live._

And be free of the responsibility.

_Free to leave the horror._

And begin my life anew with Chloe.

_And you’re happy about it._

I am.

_Fuck **YOU**._

“Besides…I’ll make sure to see you guys off in the morning- M-Max?”

Kate’s voice comes off muffled and vague as I wince and hold my head at the steadily worsening pain in my head. I can’t…Hear anything. I close my eyes as they begin to sting from the white clouding more and more of my vision and an enormous pressure throbs in my head. I start to exhale a deep sigh in the hopes it’ll readjust my thoughts but instead keel forward and gasp for air, the muffled voices turning into a sharp, deafening ring in my ears-

“Max!”

I throw myself to the ground, hyperventilating. A thousand hands grab and fight to drag me in all directions as I trail red leaking from my nose onto the cold grey concrete.  I open my eyes; my movement isn’t my own as I watch countless faces pass me by with judgemental expression and all I hear through the nails clawing at my brain’s chalkboard is sobbing and cries for help.

Max, we’re gonna find someone.

Max, say something.

Max, please just fucking breath.

Max, I love you so much.

Max. Max. **Max**.

_Max._

My name; they won’t stop chanting it as I wake up in pitch blackness, imprisoned within a tight wooden space. Is this…A coffin? I pound on the lid, begging them to let me out. I'm not dead. I have a life ahead of me. I'm okay.

_yOu'Re NoT oKaY_

_yOu'Re a mOnStEr_

_max_

They keeping berating me, insulting me. I’m carried through the crowds, displayed for all to see, before I come to a stop. Silence…Then a faint heat surrounds me that gradually grows and grows to uncomfortable levels.

_hehehe max fuck you too_

_max you keep FUCKING UP max we HATE you FUCKING KILLED US max FUCK YOURSELFIE I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING FRIEND MAX is like my personal PUPPET TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE BITCH can you BELIEVE SHE MADE A MOVE ON ME WOW max in the DARK ROOM her INNOCENCE LOST max always take the SHOT over and over MAX I took the shot AT CHLOE’S FUCKING SKULL HER BRAINS ARE SPLATTERED OVER THE DIRT max_ THEY won’t shut up HE won’t shut up I won’t SHUT UP **JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.**

Max.

…

……

The flames burn through my wooden prison as the coffin moves closer and closer and is engulfed. I pound on the lid more and more until my knuckles are bruised and beaten. I scream and scream an unheard cry until my throat stings and aches.

Please, let me out.

I don’t want to die.

_nO oNe wOuLd mIsS yOu_

_eVeRyOnE wHo cOuLd iS dEaD_

**_Max._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The fluff/angst smackdown combo  
> Next up, sitting


	8. Insects and Mammals Can Get Along

Soft breaths, quiet breaths; usually barely audibly escaping through her nostrils – though for a few minutes or so they quickened in pace marginally and left through a mouth half-agape. I keep watching Max breathe from this crappy chair by her hospital bed; her chest rise up and down in rhythm and my heart catches in my throat when she briefly stirs with the faintest groan every now and then. I've been keeping a constant gaze over Max for most of the night, because I’m scared that her precious exhalations could stop at any moment.

The IV drip stuck into her arm doesn’t help ease my stress, either; makes me think of what she told me, when she found me in a timeline in which my dad was still alive - where I was broken and fragile, trapped in a bed or a wheelchair for life and slowly dying from a failing respiratory system. Fuck, Max…Is this killing you as well, this…This guilt?

The doctor that examined her sure as shit didn’t know. Far as he could tell, Max just…Fainted from exhaustion. Guy doled it up to stress and lack of sleep; a relatively minor cause. Yeah, if only you knew the half of it…

At least she gets her own medical tent, so I can fruitlessly speak to her unconscious body like a crazy person in private. I place my hand on Max’s as it rests on her stomach and give it an affectionate squeeze; a gesture I’ve repeated countless times these past few hours.

“Hey girl,” I smirk and lean forward a bit, so that my head is roughly level with her freckled face, “Still here and still chillin’. Man…You must be sick of me at this point, huh? Well, it’s the **Price** you pay for scaring me like that. See what I did there? Heh…God…I’m still trippin’ on it; The panic attack, the screaming and rambling, the fuckin’ struggle you were having just to breathe, the nose-bleed – shit, the nose-bleed...It was the worst one yet, y’know? The doc was worried it was fuckin’ internal, with how much red there was.”

My voice is progressively hindered more and more by emotion as I speak, until I’m forced to choke back a sob. “God, fuck…Sorry. I’m tryna keep it together. The six or seven hours I’ve spent alone have given me plenty of time to think, is all. I’ve uh…Heh, been watching over you for most of it. Sorry, pinky pirate promise I won’t make it a regular thing to watch you sleep.”

I fumble through my thoughts for something to ramble about. I’ve never fuckin’ understood why people talk to coma patients in movies and TV or whatever, but it’s…Helping me. To cope, that is. It reminds me that Max is still alive; she’s still breathing in that completely adorbz way she does when she sleeps, she’s still here…With me. Thinking about it more and more is enough to form that oh-so familiar layer of moisture over my eyes, which I opt not to wipe away as I bring Max’s hand to my quivering lips.

“I love you, Max, y’know? I’m so fuckin’ shit at showing it but I love you so much. All I’ve ever done is worry about me…Me, me, me. **My** life is dipped in shit, **I’d** like to drop a fucking bomb on Arcadia Bay, all **I** care about is finding Rachel. Fuck Rachel…I’ve spent so much fucking time looking for a cheating corpse that I can’t see what’s in front of my face…”

My lips dryly latch onto her knuckles in a kiss. “Even now, I’m still only giving a shit about myself. **I** just want to live a perfect life I don’t deserve in Seattle, Max. **I** just want you to become a selfish, irresponsible bitch like me, Max. **I** just want you all for myself, Max…And you want all of that now, too. I’ve…Twisted you, just as predicted by the fucking scholars Joyce Price and David Madsen…Price.”

I gently position Max’s hand back on the bed, palm facing up as I clasp mine onto it and intertwine our fingers. “Yeah, I miss ‘em. I’d…Like to hold a funeral for them. See if I can find a memento or something in what’s left of my house to remember ‘em by, y’know? Maybe that necklace I made for mom on mother’s day, David’s dog tags…Might be able to find something in that box marked ‘William’s Stuff’, as well. A-Assuming it’s not all dust at this point, anyway…”

I sigh. What am I doing? Sitting here talking to what’s practically a corpse, is what I’m doing…Argh! What the fuck!? Why did I even think it like that? Max is alive, she’s going to be okay, she always pulls through for me!

She’s just so…Distant, though. So close, yet so far away. 

The conflicting sentiment is enough to let my feelings ooze out as I rest my head on the side of the bed and nuzzle against Max’s, that layer of moisture over my eyes turning into more of a stream slipping down my cheeks.

“Max…” I wobbly murmur into her unhearing ears, “I love you so fuckin’ much. I just want you to be okay. I miss you so much. I’m so fuckin’ lost right now, I-“

The ruffling of the tent’s entrance flap jerks my head back and I compose myself as best I can in the split second I’ve got; which isn’t very much, as I lay my teary eyes upon myself and Max’s sudden (and sort of unwanted) guest.

“Oh, sh-shit, sorry. I’m interrupting an emotional thing. I’ll uh- Y-Yeah-“

That Warren guy turns to leave, and in my emotions running as high as they are, my voice comes off as something of a snappy scold. “No, shit- Dude! Get the fuck back here.”

“Right, gotcha, just checking on her, y’know?”

He nervously steps over to Max’s bed, pulling up a nearby (and even less comfortable looking than mine) chair and looks over her for a few seconds. Shit, I notice I’ve spent the whole time he’s been here staring at his burns again, awkward. I try to draw attention away from it by wiping my eyes dry. “She’s okay.”

“She is Super-Max.”

“The best Max.” I exhale.

A short silence ensues, and Max’s soft breathing does a good job of calming me down from my welling sobbing fit. God, this is awkward, though. I think I had a conversation in mind when I (surprisingly) didn’t tell him to fuck off, but once again I’m lost in Max’s…Everything, that I’ve forgotten it.

“You okay?” His scarred self speaks up. He motions to place a hand on my shoulder but, after what looks like a moment of contemplation he rests it back on his lap. “I uh, haven’t seen you leave this tent even once.”

My vague response comes out as a low, snivelling mumble. “Yeah.”

“Pretty dumb thing for me to say, but…You mean a lot to Max.”

I chuckle half-heartedly. “Hahah, yeah. That’s putting it pretty fuckin’ mildly, dude.”

“She uh, never really got the chance to explain your guys’ history.”

I lean back in my chair – though the way the backrest bends and groans as my weight pushes into it prompts me to rethink that decision for fear of it snapping off and sending me to the ground headfirst. I play it off by leaning forward and taking hold of Max’s hand again, filling my ‘squeeze girlfriend’s hand’ quota for these ten minutes.

“We’ve been friends for…A long fuckin’ time. First met Max in grade school and we were inseparable ever since. We did everything together; school, movies, pirate adventures…Didn’t need anyone else in the world as long as we were together. Then uh…” I suck in a sharp breath, “Then my dad died five years ago, and Max moved to Seattle.”

“Damn...”

“Yeah, it fuckin’ sucked, went through all the phases. Disbelief that my best friend was gone then self-doubt; did she leave because of me? The stress that came from my depressed ass over losing my dad was part of why her family moved? Lots of self-pity, started cutting for a month or two before I hit the last phase.”

Warren fidgets awkwardly throughout my spiel. Truth be told, I didn’t expect to go full rant mode, and from the guy’s widened eyes, avoidance of eye contact and overall look of discomfort, he didn’t expect it either. Fuck it, though, I’m in an emotional as shit mood, and if Max can hear me, I was already going full open about my feelings here anyway.

“Hating her fucking guts.” I choke back another sob and pull Max’s limp hand in for another kiss as some feeble attempt at an apology, “I started to resent her like fuck, dude. Max abandoned me when I needed her most, Max only gives a shit about me when it’s convenient for her, Max has moved onto bigger things than my pathetic ass. Even after everything settled down a couple of years down the line my dumb fuckin' brain just twisted my memories of her to shit.”

My earlier breakdown comes out and resumes at this point, as I bury my head against Max’s neck, a snivelling mess on the edge of bawling my eyes out. Warren opts to go through with comforting my shoulder with his hand this time, which ironically only serves to further my self-loathing.

“God, fuck…Sorry.” I turn my neck to face him as best I can as I calm myself down, whilst still snuggling up to Max’s unconscious self. The impractical positioning ultimately has me staring off against the wall behind Warren, though.

“Hey, it’s cool. To be honest…Er, never mind.”

“No, dude," I sniffle,  "Max is your friend too, I’ve been fucking…ranting endlessly and hogging her all for myself, even when she’s in a damn coma. If you’ve got something you wanna get off your chest, I wanna hear it.”

Sighing in a hint of frustration, Warren drags his palms along his face and looks to the ceiling. “It’s really shallow and stupid, just a heads up.”

“Dude, I am the shallowest bitch in Arcadia Bay.”

With a chuckle, he speaks in a low, ashamed tone, “It’s just…Really cool, seeing how much you love Max. When I first like, started hearing about this mystery punk girl that was hanging with her I was kinda, like…”

“Jealous?”

A heavy, self-loathing groan is what signals he's ready to continue. “Argh…Yeah. She told me a little bit about you the day Kate Marsh tried to, y'know. And then I asked her to go to a dumb drive in with me. Thing is, in my head asking her was, like…A last ditch effort to, like…Claim her? I…Don’t think there was a right way I could’ve worded that.”

I chuckle, ending it off with a “Yeah” which seems to tell Warren that I get what he means and to just continue. “Man, it was stupid how sorry for myself I was feeling after she turned me down, then, y’know…Got that text from you the day after.”

Oh, god damnit. As if I need another guilt-trip. I remember, though. The morning I did that dumbass dare to kiss me with Max rather than just being fucking open with my feelings ( _Seriously Chloe, what are you, twelve?_ ) she headed downstairs to grab some breakfast and, feeling stupid and giddy with a snooped phone number, I felt the need to brag about my pitiful advances.

**_[max’s punk pal here. sorry dude, just had the hottest make-out session with maximus ;) no emoji]_ **

“Ah, fuck. I forgot-…That text was a huge dick move on my part, dude, I-“

“Seriously, it’s cool. Well…I mean, at the time it wasn’t. Man, I was damn angry at everything. The whole day I was like, ‘idiot, should’ve made an actual move sooner.’ And like, ‘wait, Max is into other girls? And I made all those weird, creepy comments?' That’s not even really the point, though. It’s just it’s…Like I said, it’s cool seeing how much you care for her, you know? Neither of us ever really fit in anywhere at Blackwell, so I kinda felt…God, it’s so dumb and misogynistic sounding now that I think about it.”

“Hey dude, you really think I’m in a position to judge anyone?”

“Right, right,” He sighs again, “Like, I felt like I was the only one who wanted to understand her, or like….Ugh, protect her, you know?”

My neck starts to ache at this point, so I lift it away from Max’s head and sit up straight again to stretch out the stiffness bit. After a brief pause, I nod. “And then I swoop in like some jock asshole.”

Warren drags a hand down the charred half of his face in what looks like frustration, treading the bumps and scars in the skin. “Yeah. Like an asshole, I looked at it that way for a while. But…Seeing the way you guys talk to each other, and even the way you’re taking this mess…Hah, I don’t think anyone else could be there for Max like you can, least of all me.”

“My god, man, you are some regular old friendzone material, huh?” The hurt that glimmers from the guy’s damaged face prompts me to tack on some self-deprecation with a forced chuckle, “And I’m…Just a typical steal yo’ girl asshole boyfriend. Er, girlfriend.”

Before he can respond though, an all too familiar and blaring punk rock tune chimes from my thigh, startling us both with a flinch. “Ah, shit-“ I awkwardly shift my position to slip my hand into the tight pocket of my skinny jeans and, after some fumbling (and blushing in embarrassment at the cringe factor of my ringtone) I look upon the borderline smashed screen; ‘Vanessa Caulfield,’ shit.

“Fuck, sorry dude. I gotta take this.”

Warren gently pats my shoulder and stands to leave. “I gotcha. I need to get some damn sleep, anyway…What is it, like four AM now?”

“Shit. Really though, gotta take this call. Later, man.” I wave him off as he nods and ducks under the tent flap. I inhale a deep breath to prepare myself, and tap the answer call button.

“Mrs. C-“

“Chloe Price!” She exclaims so loudly that I wince and pull the phone a couple more inches away from my ear, “My Maxine hasn’t answered her phone once! Is she okay!? I- O-Oh, okay, Ryan, okay. Calm…Calm...I’m sorry, Chloe. We shouldn’t be calling at this time, but I just woke up with a start from worry, which woke Ryan up, which may have woken the neighbours up and we’re…Just so worried about our daughter.”

I comically poke a finger in my ear and twist it around for a second to try and ease the ringing in it, before bringing the phone back to it. “It’s uh, no problem Mrs. C. Max is, uh…”

I go silent and I feel my heart begin to race. Oh, shit...I try to weigh my options in the few short seconds of a window I have before I start to look incriminating. I can make up some bullshit lie and hope Max wakes up soon enough ( _or at all_ ) that we’ll be on our way to Seattle, or-

“Chloe? Max is…?”

“Max is okay. She uh…Turned her phone off; all the texts and social media alerts were stressing her out, y’know? She’s sleeping right now. I uh…Couldn’t really sleep myself; worried about her as well, n’ all that.”

There’s a short silence on the other end of the line; I can vaguely hear Vanessa and her husband bicker amongst each other, before an obnoxious crackling sound signals she’s brought the phone back to her ear. “Okay, alright Chloe. We trust you, we…We trust you’ll keep Maxine safe. I don’t mean to sound like I’m rushing you two, but…How long do you think it’ll be before you’re both on your way?”

I exhale and stutter my words as I try to recover from how much I botched the first lie. “To be honest, I uh…I don’t know, Mrs C. Max has a bunch of friends she wants to check up on, then she wants to…See what’s left in her dorm at Blackwell, then I’m gonna wanna see what I can find at my place- Give us, um…A day or two?”

There’s another pause mitigated by muffled chatter before Vanessa responds. “Are you okay, Chloe?”

Max…I wish you were awake. You’re all I’ve fuckin’ got left, and your parents are so worried, and I’ve just-

“Chloe?”

“…No, not really.”

“You poor thing…” I can practically see the pout upon Vanessa Caulfield’s face from the sheer sympathy in her voice, “I can’t imagine what you must be going through. Ryan and I are…So sorry about Joyce. She was a wonderful woman, and we have equally wonderful memories of her and William.”

I sniffle, forcing another sob down my throat that I try to hide with an agreeing hum. “Like I said, I’ve uh, got Max to keep me going. I don’t know where I’d be if she weren’t here with me…S-Sorry, Mrs. C, but I need to get some sleep.”

“Of course, Chloe, I’m sorry. Please take care of Maxine…And yourself.”

“Bye.” I whimper and abruptly tap the end call button, setting the phone aside on Max’s bed. I hide my face in my hands, stuck on the tipping point of yet another fucking crying fit. “Fuck.” I whimper again, “Fuck, Max! I lied to them, I’m sorry! They’re only worried about their own god damn daughter and I can’t even tell them that she’s in a fucking coma!”

I take a minute or two to let the tear-filled storm pass by. I lied to them, I don’t even know why I did. In the moment, I just pictured it; Max’s parents rushing down here, arriving to find their daughter reduced to a fucking vegetable, how’s that for a reunion? Then when ( _if_ ) she wakes up? A million people all showering and overcrowding her with their relief that she’s okay. But she isn’t okay, and no one can ever know why.

“All because…Because I want you all for myself. Because no one else loves and understands you like I do…N-No, it’s…It’s because I don’t want anyone else to love and understand you like I do.”

I close my eyes as I rest my head back onto the side of the bed, squeezing a tear through my lids onto my cheeks.

“Max...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: much angst awaits  
> next up, food


	9. Blue

Mmn...Wakey wakey, Max.

Heh, it’s like…One in the afternoon, babe.

Pfft, you were the one who wanted to keep going at it until like, four AM.

Hey, it’s not my fault you’re so cute when you-

What’re you- Mmn.

Mwah. Nice kiss, nerd. H-Hold on a sec, I think I was sleeping a weird way or pulled a muscle or some shit, my neck feels kinda stiff.

Haha, very funny. 

Ouch, though…This shit really hurts.

Ow.

Ow!

“Mngh...Ow, fuck…Max?”

I lazily lift my head and lean backwards into the chair I’m sitting on, taking a few moments to twist and stretch my aching neck back into place. My vision starts gradually coming in to focus; the afternoon light seeping into the opaque and dim green-coloured shelter requires me to squint as my eyes adjust to the sheer brightness of it all, though.

“Max…”

Oh. She’s still lying on that hospital bed, still almost completely unmoving. Shit…That was a really fuckin’ good dream, too. I ruffle her fringe back and run my hand across her forehead…Temperature feels normal, breathing just fine, still so damn far away…

Oh, Max...How much longer do I have to go without you? How much longer can I go? I lean in towards her, resting my head in its usual spot beside hers and whisper in to her helplessly ignorant ears. At this point, I'm gonna leave a damn imprint in the mattress.

“Morning, Maxaroni. Well, it's past midday actually, I think, so it's a Chloe Morning. God, I miss you. Hasn't even been a fuckin' day and it feels like a lifetime...Makes you wonder how I managed half a decade, huh?”

I give myself a look over as I do my own sort of time rewind; each fashion choice reminding me of exactly what was going through my head as I made that particular decision in remaking myself bit by bit in those five long years.

The dyed hair was some symbolic bullshit about not being my 'daddy's little girl' or Max's best friend Chloe anymore. The cigarettes? A mixture of stress relief and a carryover from my self-harming in the months after Max left. Triple bullet necklace? Equal to the amount of suicide attempts over it all, two of which were in the middle of some of my patented 'thinking about Max days'. Punk attire? Max loved my obsession with skaters, so in a way it was a pathetic attempt to...Fine tune myself to be what she liked about me in any way I could, as if it was gonna do anything.

I can barely make it out through all these bandages, but the tattoo on my arm is a mish mash of meaningful crap too. Rachel's the butterflies, flying me out of my deep dark pit. The skull is dad...Both of them. It's what happened to one, and what I thought of the second.

And, Max…Max is the mural of plants that make up most of the design. She's the perfect fuckin’ flowers of my life...And the thorns digging into flesh.

“Fuck, Max...” I vocalise my thoughts with a weak chuckle, “You're involved in some way of every aspect of my damn life, now more than ever. There's some hella poetic shit in there. I bet...I bet you'd find it, put it into words or make a cute doodle or hell, probably find some way to take a fuckin' photo of it.”

I hold my uncomfortable sitting position for what may as well be an eternity, not that I care; I’ll stay cooped up in this tent as long as it takes, it's my fuckin' duty to protect Max for god damn ever, I am a vigilant motherfucker-

“Urgh...”

An equally uncomfortable groan and vibration in my stomach is a harsh reminder I haven't eaten since yesterday morning. Well, I'd prefer to at least not be dead from starvation when Max wakes up; stiff, aching neck and personal hygiene be damned. I lean in and peck a kiss on her brunette covered forehead and stand up, taking a moment to stretch my sore limbs.

“Just grabbing somethin' to eat, Max-a-Mil. Promise I won't be long.”

* * *

I’ll admit, it’s pretty impressive – admirable even, how fast these survivors managed to get back on their feet. If they’ve got enough rations to spare for an a-hole like me, **and** a public mess hall set up for anyone without comfortable dining arrangements to take advantage of? Arcadia Bay, maybe you’re alright.

Seriously though, do your rations have to consist of nothing but this mushy ass stew? It tastes decent enough, but…Jesus, I’m gonna develop a damn phobia of mixed vegetables and leftover meat at this rate. Come to think of it, throwing an assortment of greens and beef into a pot with some boiled water was basically all David could ever make on the rare occasion Joyce let him cook. Heh…Pretty sure those were the only times mom would ever side with me on my Step-Douche bitchfits.

I dump another spoonful of wet potato and peas through my lips, slurping the water left on the spoon audibly. Yeah, I think this’ll be my last bowl of the stuff; still kinda hungry, but I’m in enough of  a self-loathing mood that I can agree someone else would deserve an extra meal more than me, right now.

I take a minute to survey the mess hall. Well, really it’s more of a hurriedly set up correlation of mismatched tables and chairs set up inside a ruined building missing it’s’ door and windows. Hm, wonder what this place was used for before the storm? Time to get all Chloe deductive up in here…The space where the front window has been smashed up is huge, so they clearly wanted people to window shop. Laminated wooden floor – well, ‘laminated’ is being nice, with all the dust and scratches covering it.

Some of the ‘tables’ that a few people are sitting at are actually computer desks, I notice. Ha ha, looks like that asshole’s enjoying the fact he’s got that chair with the cushion and armrests. Prick. Eh…I’m gonna go with my gut and assume this was an estate agents, it just has that vibe. Huge window that says, ‘come in, come in. Look at all these reasonably priced homes!’ Shiny, classy floor to break it to you that this shit is in fact, way out of your league, and a bunch of corporate assholes in cozy chairs pulling the strings on their actually reasonably priced computers.

Man, I miss all that detective shit Max and I did last week….Max being the operative word, here.

Damnit, now I’m thinking about Max…Which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just fuckin’ stressful given the current circumstances...And there it is, the need to be in her presence nagging at the back of my head...Now I know how those dumb couples who whine about missing each other after less than a day being apart feel. I hastily down the last of this stew, spilling a some of it on my tank top (like I give a shit, with all the blood, grime and filth staining it, it may as well be a deliberate fashion statement at this point) and stand up. I slip past the small crowds of people not sat down and leave the building, taking a moment to appreciate the autumn weather with a shiver as a chilling and consistent wind passes me by. God damn, wish I’d brought my jacket.

Man...Trying so hard to avoid thinking about this cold but failing is making me think about Max more. Christmas this year is gonna be hella good with her. Hot chocolate n’ gingerbread is gonna fuckin’ mean something again, presents to share, wonder what I should get her? And of course, someone to share mistletoe with…

Ten minutes down the seaside road back to Max’s tent, I spot an unfortunate and familiar figure to sully my daydreaming. “Prescott” I growl. Hm, looks like the bastard’s having a chat with someone…Yeah, well I think I owe him a chat. I cross over the road to the side overlooking the sea and catch a snippet of his conversation with the slightly shorter man. “-Appreciate everything you’re doing-“ I hear before I fakely cough an “Ahem”, quickly turning both of their attention to me.

“Oh? Can I help you?” The man on the right asks sincerely as he faces me. I briefly catch a glimpse of his light scruff, medium length hair and leather jacket plus jeans combo before I feign ignorance and glare at Prescott, who quickly recognises me, “Ah, the irritable friend of Max Caulfield. How is she? I heard about the…Incident.”

“None of your fuckin’ business,” I snarl, “Just wanted to let you know you’d better not come anywhere close to her again, Prescott.” He folds his arms, giving me a smile so cocky and condescending I’m about ready to punch it. After a brief, tense pause, he speaks up. “You really despise me, don’t you?”

I nod, maintaining my scornful disposition.

“You don’t have a lick of sympathy for me? My son manipulated and murdered and of all the people that should have survived this horrible turn of events, it’s the man responsible?”

My eyes widen and I stutter momentarily in hesitation. Jeffershit’s fucking alive? Why the **fuck** is David gone? Is David gone…? I gather my composure again, hoping the angry look I’ve been keeping didn’t waver too much. “I don’t give a flying fuck about how your karma status, just stay the hell away from Max.”

He forces a chuckle, but I can tell I’ve got under his skin at least a little bit by how his expression turns solemn and his brow furrows. “Well, you needn’t worry about that. I’m leaving for Seattle in an hour.”

The other man interjects with a polite – but firm voice. “Yes, Mr. Prescott and I have just arranged his son’s funeral.”

Yeah, like I give a flying fuck about Nathan Prescott. Prick would’ve gunned me down in that bathroom…That was the first time Max saved my life. Then he had the god damn nerve to bully her. And, Rachel…

Watching Warren kick the shit out of that bastard was…Unusually satisfying, looking back.

“Hmph.” I spit on the ground, it landing a few inches away from Prescott’s shoe to complete my show of a lack of respect, and turn to leave, doing my best to avoid making eye contact with whoever the fuck this second guy is. What the actual fuck? Why is Jeffershit alive!? Why is David **not** alive, in that case!? They were both in the Dark Room, so they would’ve been safe...

I take out my phone, heart thumping in my chest. M-Maybe, maybe he replied to one of my texts and I didn’t notice? Yeah, that could’ve happened…

 **[To: Step-Douche]**  
**[david max n i are ok where are u]**  
**[dude pls respond]**  
**[is mom ok she isnt responding either]**  
**[im sorry im a bitch, ok? is that what ur waiting for]**  
**[david pls be alive]**  
**[i am sorry, u know. sorry ive given u so much shit. if u do get these, u should know max n i couldn’t find joyce. im so fuckin sorry dude, but i just need u to be alive right now]**  
**[fuck fucking everything fuck it all]**

No…Nothing. Maybe if I call him? Already tried that, but you know…Can’t hurt. I tap the call button, bringing the phone to my ear.

Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. We’re sorry, but the number you’ve calle- **FUCK FUCKING EVERYTHING FUCK IT ALL.**

I very nearly finish what’s been started and throw my phone to the pavement I’m walking. Fuck it…You get to live another day, you poor, broken bastard. I swallow the lump forming in my throat with a whimper and stuff the phone back in my pocket. Okay. No crying, this is shit you already accepted. Mom’s gone, David’s gone, Rachel’s gone, Frank’s gone, all you’ve got left is Max. And she’s gone currently as well. And you’re still stuck in a town full of assholes you’ve been trying to leave for almost six fuckin’ years, now.

Life is…Dipped in shit.

* * *

“Right, okay. I need you to tell me exactly how it all happened again, Chloe. Every possible detail, no matter how minor; even the smallest could give me a clue as to what’s caused your friend’s condition.”

Condition, right. That’s one way to put it.

It’s dark out now, and the spooky whistling and violent bellowing of the tent tells me it’s still windy as shit outside. The doctor goes silent as I grip Max’s hand tightly and stare at her intently. God, Max…I don’t know how you do this. It’s like you live two lives, the one that everyone sees, and the life that never happens. How the hell do you keep up these appearances? All this shit that’s happened to you that hasn’t and you just keep it to yourself; live a lie for the sake of everyone around you.

“Please. I understand it must’ve be scary, but everything could be important.” From the corner of my eye I can just about make out his features; which is to say, he’s a pretty standard doctor-like looking dude. White dress shirt n’ jeans with a white jacket n’ proper black shoes, hair’s just a generic short look, five o’clock shadow (bet there’s a lack of sleep on top of that, with all the injured and sick about) and a relatively meek build.

“Sorry,” I keep my gaze on Max, “just thinking is all. Max, um…”

Just make something up, something plausible. A lie to protect her, something that doesn’t fucking compare to what she’s really gone through.

“Max lost a lot of friends in the storm. She, uh…Watched a lot of them die, y’know?”

The doc seems taken aback from his widened eyes. “Oh. So she…Couldn’t help them?”

“Too busy keeping me alive. We just kept on running and running ‘till we made it to the lighthouse,” I point in the general direction of the beacon in question, “she, um, hasn’t been taking it well, of course. She’s always gotten super stressed and guilty when she messes up, but all this shit has like…Changed her, y’know?”

I take a few seconds to formulate the next phase of this bullshit while the doc nods in understanding. Holy shit, the sincerity on his face is admirable. He really believes me, he really wants to help.

And I’m just a big fuckin’ liar.

It’s for Max. Everything is worth it for Max. “So, we made our way back to town after the storm and Max…Just lost it. She threw up when we saw the first body lying in the middle of the road and cried n’ screamed her throat out. We, um...” I exhale a sigh, preparing myself to continue as it clicks in my head that this part of the spiel isn’t a fabrication.

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

“Nono, it’s cool. It’s just…Okay, full disclosure; I lost my mom in the storm.”

“I’m sorry.”

“A-Anyway we, uh, searched for my mom for a bit n’ Max…Kept losing it. Digging through rubble n’ wreckage with no regard for her own safety, curling up in a ball on the ground like she’s trying to hide from it all…I’ll uh, admit I went kinda crazy for a while as well when she started like, hurting herself with her nails n’ shit.”

“She blames herself?” I only notice now he’s holding a clipboard as he jots down some notes ; from where I’m sitting opposite him, I can just about make out “survivor guilt”, “places high value on life?” and “afraid of blood?” Yeah, why not add ‘victim of sexual assault’, ‘inner demons’ and the newest condition on the block baffling time travellers everywhere, ‘Rewind Sickness’ while you’re at it?

I play off my snooping by making it seem as if I was staring off in the distance in contemplation as best I can. “You have no idea, dude. We ignored…A lot of people who needed help when we were runnin’ from the storm.”

“You prioritise each other a lot.”

I nod. “But, anyway…There’s nothing to mention up until she had that massive panic attack. We were chatting with one of her friends who had survived, n’ she went silent for a few minutes. Her friend was about to leave, then she just…”

“It’s okay. I’ve read the report, you don’t have to go on.” He rests a hand on my shoulder, not that it’s particularly comforting now that I’ve got this horrible image of Max holding her throat as she gasps for air on the ground, blood pouring from her nostrils mixed in with the tears running down her cheeks while she cries ‘I’m sorry’ barely coherently. She kept rambling as I struggled to carry her weight through the camp, her eyes shut tight and a look of horrible pain on her face. ‘Just don’t hurt me,” she was pleading, ‘I’ve tried. I need her. Why do you hate me?’

“Are you okay?” The doctor’s voice spurs me out of my thoughts as I shake my head back to reality. “Yeah, sorry doc, still thinkin’. So you’re like, a psychiatrist as well as a doctor, then?”

He lightly chuckles. “No, not at all. I’m, eh…It’s somewhat embarrassing, but I’m actually just a volunteer with a decent bit of know-how. All the medical help is spread very thin as you can imagine, so I’ll be taking these notes to be examined.”

I feel my heart sink a bit at the harsh reality of how limited the resources are here, but put on the best smile I can manage regardless. “Huh, okay. Well, dude I…Super appreciate everything you’re doing anyway.”

“Sounds pretty generic and overly casual I know, but just doin’ my job.”

“Heh, Cool. Do you, um…Do you think Max is gonna be okay?” I ask sheepishly.

He sighs, leans back in his chair and looks to the ceiling, “That’s the big question, isn’t it?”

“The biggest.”

“And that makes it all the more difficult to tell it to you straight…I’m sorry, Chloe, but I can’t say. As I said, I’m by no means a professional at all of this, but what I can say is that…Ironically, as hopeless as it sounds, I have hope that Max will be fine.”

“Awesome.” I say bluntly and with enough spiteful sarcasm that I have to take it back a notch as I watch the man’s face slouch into a genuinely sombre frown. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Listen…I really hate to leave you with the sentiment of ‘I don’t know’, but I really do encourage you to keep your spirits high. The doctor who examined her when you brought her in believes Max isn’t in any real danger; she just needs time. Think of it as her brain just needs a time out from all the stress, a chance to reorganise her thoughts.”

Fuckin’ hell…Knowing the truth about all this shit makes this psychology talk cringe-worthy, n’ I just wanna talk to Max’s unconscious body more.

“Thanks,” I half-heartedly say, “I eh, heh…For once in my life, I don’t mean to be rude but…Can I be alone with her?”

The doc’ stands up with a nod, “Of course. One thing to mention, the…Actual doctor will be coming by tomorrow morning to have a look at Max. I’m sure he’ll be able to gauge a better idea of what might be wrong with her after he reads these notes.”

“I guess I can hope, right?” I say it more cynically than I intend which I mentally kick myself for. The good doc…Psychiatrist…Volunteer, whatever simply nods again with a smile, leaving the tent shortly after.

“Hey Max. You okay?” I run a hand through her hair and wait a few moments to ensure the guy won’t overhear my conversation with myself. “Been thinking about you all day. Not that there’s anything else to do in this ruin.”

My palm’s grip once again takes up its permanent residence, locked onto Max’s hand. “I guess you heard all that, huh? I…Didn’t really know what to say. It’s so friggin’ weird, Max, this time travel shit…Are we gonna have to like, live a lie, even when all this is over?”

I notice I’m fiddling with and stroking Max’s fingers, like it’s an involuntary action at this point or something. “I dunno, that could actually be hella cool. Like, even when we’re living a normal life there’s still the remnants from when we were superheroes; the jokes only we’ll get, the conversations only we can have…Our own special world to live in, just the two of us.”

And…Silence. Damnit…Is this how everyone else feels when they’re talking with people like this? This emptiness? Pour your fuckin’ heart out, and just…Nothing, the realisation hits you that they’re not really there?

“I wish I knew what was going on in that head of your’s…Are you like, having major nightmares? God fuckin’ damnit…Once again, you’re all on your own dealing with bullshit, n’ all I can do is sit here and mope…Does um, hearing my voice make it, like…Better?”

I lean over, resting my head by Max’s. I think I’m building a resistance to all of this neck ache, at this point…Though I think I’ll have to start on my ‘Good at Blocking Out Wind Noises’ stat if I want a decent sleep tonight.

“I hope it does. ‘Night, Max.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Life never changes  
> next up, vague disconnected hint


	10. Weakest Moments

It’s…It’s time. We have to search the town.

Fuck, look at it…

Someone must have surviv-

Max…? Max!

Max, what’s wrong!?

Max, I’m here, look at me!

Everything’s okay. Everything’s fine. Please, just look at me…

You’re not a fuckin’ monster! You’re my damn hero!

We…We’re gonna find my mom, okay?

Everything’ll be okay.

Jesus, your nose…

“Wh- Max!”

A horribly tight pressure in my chest jerks me awake, gasping for breath. Fuck, fuck…Just a dream…Or, more like some PTSD bullshit. Ugh, yep, my aching eyes and the weakness in my limbs is a quick reminder of how that pretty much sums up last night for me; maybe if I wake up screaming Max’s name enough, that’ll pull her outta this coma…Is that what my asshole of a brain is tryna tell me?

Y’know what? I think I’m desperate enough at this point that I’d try it, it’s not like this morning’s examination turned up anything remotely hopeful. I give the unconscious angel a look over; I usually take a few seconds to do this every time I see her, like, to check she’s still breathing okay, or if she’s shifted around at all in her sleep…Still breathing, still motionless.

“S-Sorry about that, Max. I was taking a nap and uh, I’m having my own nightmares now, I guess. Jeez, that doc’ guy was kind of a prick, wasn’t he? So hella business like about all this shit…I guess I can’t blame him too much, he must have his hands full of shit.” I chuckle, resting my chin intimately close with Max’s face on the side of the bed, “God damn, look at me all understanding n’ sympathetic n’ shit. You’re such a bad good influence on me.”

Urgh, now I’m thinking about that. Doc told me this morning there’s definitely nothing we can do; Max’ll wake up whenever the fuck her brain or the gods above decide she can. Er, well, he worded it kinda better than that; with lots of sciencey words n’ pretentious psychology shit.

“The best bad good influence,” I say for good measure.

I relax back into this far more comfortable chair that Kate Marsh brought by during the examination, basking in its’ cushioned seat and sturdier legs that don’t feel ready to snap under my weight. Eh, might as well check my phone, see if there’s anything hopeful there. I worm my hand into my pocket, retrieving the poor soul of a device.

Unlocking the screen and seeing my wallpaper prompts a wide smile from me; it’s an adorable snap of Max, sleeping soundly in my bed on the night we broke into Blackwell; god, she was exhausted as hell as she stumbled into my room with me, eyes half-lidded and voice slurred while we made light conversation. ‘Max, you are such a ninja,’ I excitedly whispered, making sure not to wake Joyce or David up, ‘that’s what all my classmates say too,’ she boasted as we changed into some improvised pyjamas consisting of t-shirts way too big for either of us and boyshorts. ‘Then again, you do have a soft reset in your hand, girl’ I pointed out matter-of-factly.

And with a barely audible ‘Mhm’ as we laid down, she was gone, snoring faintly towards my face. Of course I seized the opportunity; it was like my own Golden Hour, or whatever.

And there I am, lost in a Max Trance again. A Maximum Stupor? Max Attack, that sounds good, has a ring to it n’ shit. What was I doing? Phone, right. Social updates n’ shit. Got a message from Max’s friend Kate, couple of Facebook notifications I don’t give a damn about and an email about a failed delivery due to weather related difficulties. Yeah, thanks, I noticed.

**[From: Kate Marsh]  
[Hi Chloe, it’s Max’s friend Kate here. I’m glad we got the chance to chat a little bit this morning, this whole mess seems like it’s getting to you as much as it is me, and talking about it helped a lot. That’s, well, something Max taught me – to never be afraid to talk about your problems. I really hope you’re doing okay today...I know in my heart Max will be okay.]**

God, I’m so glad that girl came by this morning. it was practically the most well-timed visit in the history of well-timed visits, since I was ready to fuckin’ cave with how stressed that damn doctor was making me. Kate seems nice, more than nice in fact. Cute too, in a, ‘too innocent to be called cute’ kind of way. In addition to being a godsend among stress relievers, the conversation served to further remind me just how fuckin’ incredible Max is…Max, you saved her god damn life, just like you did mine.

I…Really hope Max’ll be able to break through this; to see past the guilt for the fuggin’ hero that she really is. Once she wakes up, anyway…

**[To: Kate Marsh]  
[thx angel. it was cool getting to know u n everything max did for u]**

I consider whether or not giving the girl the nickname ‘Angel’ is appropriate or not for a minute or so, with some back and forth erasing and rewriting the message.

…

**[Sent!]**

I stand up, squeezing my phone back into my jeans. “I really hate leaving you alone, Maxi-pad, especially when the date-swap is a bowl of sludgey-ass stew, but I’m seriously famished.” I lean in closer to the girl’s face, planting a kiss on her cheek, “God, I could put one’a these onto every freckle. Maybe when all this shit flies by, I will. I won’t be long, promise…Heh, missin’ you already.”

* * *

Blegh, shit, god that tastes like ass. I know for a fact it wasn’t this bad yesterday, what the hell gives?

Another moist lump of squishy ass carrot n’ potato n’ I don’t even know what this meat is. Lamb? Beef? Anyway, down the hatch.

Augh. Half a mind to say fuck it and just starve to death at this point. No, no…Don’t even joke about that. Max has lost you enough times that that thought isn’t even marginally funny.

Fuck…I never took the time to think about that. Do I want to think about that? I scan the old estate agent’s building...Different guy behind the cooking pot today, it seems. Figures…Don’t see anyone I recognise, definitely no one higher than a three here…

Yeah, okay. Ogling suffering strangers is probably an even shittier thing to spend my brainpower on.

I nom another spoonful of- Augh! Fuck! What the fuck!? Is this stew or a literal bowl of shit? Fuck, shit. Can’t spit it out, would look like an asshole and it’ll just float around in the bowl more. Any water left in the glas- Yesss. I glug the lot of it down, forcing this foul mixture of meat and veg down my throat.

…God damn, I just remembered all that passive-aggression I kept throwing Max’s way over leaving for Seattle for five years. Couldn’t fuckin’ stop myself from fucking people off, even when I want them in my life. Goes to show, with how I kept comparing her to Rachel in my head when we were hangin’ out in my room; even let some of it show. Barely even spent an hour together after all those years and I was trying my damnest to break us apart more.

Or, when she wanted to answer that phone call from Kate Marsh. The angel who literally descended from heaven; too good for this world and the planet responded as expected by driving her to a god damn suicide attempt. And there I was, trying to get Max to just let it happen.

In the car, after we learned about Rachel and Frank. Max just wanted to help - no, Jesus Christ, she **had** helped, so damn much at that point. Fuckin’ lifted my life out of the gutter and got me doing shit worth something, and all I can do is push her away. What’s that, Max? You’re talking complete sense and I’m a overreacting, possessive bitch who can’t even respect that a friend didn’t even look at me like that to begin with and she deserves a better person than me anyway and **FUCK YOU RACHEL OKAY YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE A SHIT HOW MUCH YOU MEANT TO ME.**

Shit, shit…Jesus, what was that? I’m panting breaths like a rabid dog, like that internal outburst had a real physical effect on me. Fuck…I hope no one saw that…I scan the tables for any eyes that may have turned my direction. That guy’s minding his business, so is she, and him, and-

Hey…Wait a sec. Across the room, in the police uniform, slurping down his own bowl of this slurry…I recognise him. African American dude, clean shave, buzz cut…He…David and him teamed up with another cop guy to go storm the Dark Room, right…? I know I recognise him. Max and I were hiding in my room to be extra fuckin’ safe from Jefferson as the storm was starting to build up and she was tearfully explaining the shit she went through to save me, when we heard the cop car pull up outside. Looked out the window, and he was shaking David’s hand…

Yes, it is him! Shit, shit…Maybe this guy knows what happened to him. O-Or…Or where he is, yeah. In a hospital somewhere, probably. Could’ve gotten hurt fighting Jeffershit like the superhero he is…

I leave my chair, also leaving the foul bowl of whateverstew on the table and approach the table he’s sitting at; I imagine I stand out in the crowd with the blue hair and all, so the cop is quick to take notice of me, setting his spoon down and greeting me with a polite disposition. “Something the matt- Wait a second…”

I opt not to take a seat on the free chair opposite him, and instead lean against the table, trying to put on my most casual smirk. Truth be told though, it feels like I’m practically choking on anxiousness. “Hi.”

“Chloe Price.” His smile widens, “Man, it is a pleasant surprise to see you’re alright.”

“Funny you say that,” I turn my gaze to the window…Well, the frame where the window should be, anyway, “Always been the troublemaker, n’ all that.”

“Come on now, Miss Price. You may have developed a…Reputation, in the past, but you’ve never been a bad kid.”

Yeah, sure, if you say so, dude. Can’t even begin to remember all the times I’ve been caught with a bag of weed, ‘avoided’ arrest, or even simply flipped a cop off. I’m not even gonna try and deny that the only reason I’m not in prison is because I’ve had David’s military background vouching for me…Which, speaking of…Fuck, I want to ask, but…I’m afraid of the answer.

“Thanks,” I do my best to keep my usual aloofness, “I’ll uh, take that as a compliment. What’re you doing here, anyways?”

“Well, officially, I’m supposed to say ‘police business’, but I’m a hundred percent aware you’re the one who tipped Mr. Madsen off about…Well, you know what it is. There’s a couple of us still in town, doing an evidence sweep of anywhere Mr. Jefferson was a regular; his classroom, home, all that. Well…What’s left of them, anyway. I’m just taking a much needed lunch break – More than glad to get outta that creepy photo-shoot bunker after a whole morning picturing what might’ve went down there…”

Shit, shit…He mentioned David’s name. That’s a natural time to shift the conversation to him, right?

“R-Right,” I intake a sharp breath, “I-I wanted to ask, actually…About David.”

The cop flinches in hesitation, then exhales a heavy breath. “Ah, shit…You…Damnit. I wasn’t really sure how much you knew, Miss Price. I’m sorry.”

“So, he is dead.” Yep, there’s that all too familiar ‘sink’ feeling from the throat to the chest. Can already feel the eyes stinging in preparation for the tears…

“No, no…Well, we don’t know. We- Crap…Listen, I’m not strictly allowed to talk about nitty gritty details, but to hell with it, you deserve to know everything, alright?”

“Right,” I pull up a chair and fall into what must look like the most anxious and uncomfortable sitting position imaginable, “Okay, shit. I’m starting to freak a bit, but seriously, I need to know what happened to David.”

He nods, lowering his voice to a hushed whisper. “I gotcha. Listen, so…Your info- Ahem, Mr. Madsen’s info was good. We barely had that Mark Jefferson freak in cuffs before one of our guys watching the door radioed in about the storm picking up. Should’ve seen my face when I stepped out to take a look…Could've sworn it was just a drizzle when we busted open that god damn security vault door.”

I fakely cough, irritably. “Cool.”

“Sorry. Mr. Madsen just…Ran for his car once we saw how bad it was getting. Could barely hear him over the wind and rain, but he told me he needed to find you and your mom before he took off into the storm. That was the last we saw of him, Miss Price, I’m sorry.”

I intake another breath to hold back this fucking lump in my throat, sharply. So that’s that. Dead. Another fucking tragic casualty of the storm, another statistic to add to the death count, another name to etch on a tombstone and cry over.

“Fuck,” I whimper, “Fuck…W-Wait, you said earlier you don’t know if he’s really dead?”

He nods, and by that solemn expression this spiel is having some emotional impact on him as well. “We haven’t heard any word from Mr. Madsen, or…Well, found a body.”

Fuck that’s morbid, and by the discomfort in the cop’s voice he’s thinking the same thing. “Right, right…Did he say where he was going, specifically?”

“Come to think of it…Yeah, he did. The Two Whales, said your mom was on shift at the time. Listen, Chloe, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry all of us who survived at the station are to hear about Joyce. She was a damn treasure in this polluted, corrupt town.”

I wipe a tear from my eye as I try and force my usual shit-grin. “I guess that’s the most I’ll hear about your opinion on the Prescotts, huh?”

Come to think of it…It’s weird, talking to a cop like this. Everyone in town (myself included) always built the force up to be this fucking…Evil secret service or some shit, bribed and blackmailed to do the Prescotts’ dirty work and turn a blind eye to their bullshit. But, just…Sitting here and chatting with this guy…

I dunno, he’s cool, I guess.

“Shit…” He weakly chuckles, “David said you were a sharp one. Now it makes sense why you figured out that Jefferson bastard.”

“I had help, a lot of it.” Short, awkward pause, during which this emotion pang starts to well up more and more, and no amount of thinking about Max due to my vague reference to her is gonna cure it. What the fuck is this? This…Uncertainty? Step-Douche is dead. He was caught in the middle of a fucking tornado driving a car – essentially just further confirming what I already know.

But…

I stand up, hastily. “I gotta run.”

“I gotcha,” The police officer nods, “There’s gonna be a big funeral-memorial sort of thing for us survivors to share our thoughts. I understand if you don’t want to-“

“Y-Yeah, I might go,” I interject, stuttering, adrenaline starting, “But um, thanks. Bye.”

* * *

Turn the ignition, clutch down, handbrake off. Fuck, shit…Hands shaking, tunnel vision like fuck. I barely notice I’m out on the road now with how much I’m on autopilot here as I brake and swerve to avoid a pile of junk lying on the road. Shit, shit…I’m okay.

Okay, fuck…David was heading to the Two Whales, from that old decrepit barn. There’s a chance…He could be on the road in between, somewhere…Caught in an accident, yeah, waiting for rescue. Yeah…He’s a tough son of a bitch, can take a fuckload of punishment. I should know, he endured my crap for all those years…

There’s the diner- fucking hell don’t look at it you dumb shit.

I um…I wonder who that was, in the bathroom. Warren said it was only Frank, Pompidou and…Well, mom, in the Two Whales during the storm, and that corpse definitely wasn’t a dog…

Damnit, fuck…Don’t start that trail of thought, focus. **FOCUS.** Jesus…It’s a damn miracle there’s no other cars going up and down this road, because between these shaking hands and this unfocused mind, I’m driving like shit…Not that I’ve ever been the most cautious driver to begin with, but…

If only Max were here...She’d keep me under control. Not that I’d make it easy for her, anyway...Internal sigh. Oh, Max…

Wait.

Is that…?

Oh my god.

Oh fuck.

I slow the truck on my approach to the smashed up, overturned cop car lying on the beach off the road. Oh god, oh no. Heart thumping in my chest, brain numb in chemicals. Kick the fucking door open, sprint the distance, climb the wall, drop onto the sand, ow my fucking knees that hurt. Ignore it, just get to that damn wreck.

“David!” I cry out, frantically closing the distance as I ignore the newly found ache in my legs from the drop. I start murmuring things to myself that I don’t even realise I’m saying through all this adrenaline pooling in my head. “Please don’t be dead, just be okay, I’m going to save you, I won’t be alone.”

Even from here, I can see the vehicle has gone through complete hell by the wind that obviously threw it here. The windows are smashed up, and the whole vehicle itself is crushed and mashed from the landing impact. David could still be okay, though…People survive car crashes all the time, and this probably wasn’t much worse than-

Oh no.

I collapse to my knees and keel over from the ghastly sensation wrenching in my gut as I peer through the window slot. Just hold it in, hold it in…You’ve seen so much fucking worse these past few days, like the bathroom at the diner, or Rache-

“ **FUCK!”** I scream, my cheeks already damp from the tears that must’ve been forming before I even got here, “FUCK EVERYTHING! EVERYONE’S FUCKING DEAD! FUCK, FUCK, **FUCK!”**

I curl into a pathetic position as I face away from David’s broken, bloodied corpse, crossing my arms over my chest and burying my face in them. I can’t look at him again, I can’t look at all that glass stuck into his body, or his arm mangled into that horrible position.

“Why!? Why does everything have to turn to fucking shit!? Why does everyone always have to leave!? Why do I always have to be alone…So alone…”

I pound the sands with my fists, whimpering and moaning in the tears that drip onto it. Even now, as I’ve laid eyes upon his corpse, part of me refuses to believe he’s truly gone, that everyone is gone. But he is…Everyone is.

There’s no one left.

I…I have to leave. I can’t stay here…I can’t leave him here though! I lift myself into a crawling position in preparation to reach in and try to get him out of there as I force myself to look at the agonising sight again. He looks so…Hurt. Of course he fucking does, he’s dead! But just…The way he’s still latched to his seat from the safety belt, his twisted and broken body dangling from the overturned car’s position…

I gag and wretch an appalling sound from my throat, though I manage to hold my stomach’s vile reflexes down as I bury my forehead into the sand. I can’t do this. I can’t look at this.

But I can’t leave him.

I can’t be alone.

Hah…My only company in my life is a corpse. Bet there’s some more hella poetic shit in there for Max to find…

I lift myself from the ground again and slump my back against the car and look across the beach; the remains of all the beached whales doing little to improve my state of mind.

“D-David,” I barely manage to gasp out through all my sniffling and wailing, “I-I’m so fuckin’ sorry! J-Joyce is gone too…You only wanted to protect her! Unlike me…All I give a shit about is my god damn self…I ran away. Ran away with Max! We didn’t give a fuck who died so long as we got to stay together!”

I intake a deep breath, which brings at least a little more stability to my throat and voice. “I…I still don’t care. I would still trade you, mom, everyone…I’d still watch everyone die just to be with Max. I’m sorry! I’m so fuckin’ sorry! You deserve so much more! If I only died in that fucking bathroom, you would finally have the life with Joyce you wanted, without some self-centered ignorant bitch ruining your every attempt to just find some fucking happiness in your life!”

I fall to my side, curling into my fetal position again. “I’m sorry,” I murmur, “So fuckin’ sorry…”

* * *

“Max…I found David.”

I close my eyes, hoping it will block out that horrible image. I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t look at him any longer. I couldn’t even give him the fucking decency of a burial because I’m so pathetic! Now he’s just another corpse for the pile; a sad sight for a clean-up crew to stuff in a bodybag and find a name in some record somewhere to put on a deathcount.

“He’s…He’s gone.”

I open my eyes again and take a hold of Max’s hand with both of mine, squeezing it tightly. I speak bluntly and matter-of-factly, supressing any emotion that might show in my tone. “He’s dead. He died alone, trying to protect Joyce. He made it halfway to save her, and was then killed by the storm, and his last fucking thoughts were of feeling that he failed his family, and it’s all my god damn fucking fault. He’s dead because I’m selfish, and don’t give a single flying fuck about anyone but myself.”

I wipe a tear from my cheek, although it’s kind of pointless as a stream follows it to fill the void and the fortitude in my throat breaks down to a wobbly sobbing mess of a voice. “I ruined his life, Max…He could’ve been so happy with Joyce, he could’ve found the healing he needed for all his pain from war…And I fucked it up for him at every turn, and now he's dead!”

Max doesn’t have anything to say, though, as I listen to her faint breathing and feel her pulse vibrate from her wrist.

“I miss him.” I sniffle, feeling my throat becoming weak again, “I miss everyone.”

I try to exhale a calming breath, but it comes out as another choked gasp. “I-I’m all alone again, just like when you left. I miss you, M-Max…I’ve fallen again, fallen into my pit…A-And no one’s here to lift me out of it.”

I rest my cheek against her knuckles, hoping the warmth from her hand will comfort me. “Everyone’s gone. I’m so alone, Max…Mom, dad, David, Frank, Rachel…They’re all gone.”

My eyes begin to sting from the tears welling up as I bury them against Max’s hand. “You’re gone too. You’ve left me again, in my darkest moment…”

I emit a pathetic whine, latching my quivering lips onto her knuckles in an equally pathetic kiss.

“Max…”

…

……

………

A murmured grumble draws me from my pitiful sobbing. I shoot my gaze up to meet Max’s furrowed brows, pained expression and tightly shut eyes. She shifts her position, mumbling and groaning in distress.

“Chloe…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I sure love my asshole cliffhangers  
> next up, basslines


	11. Frames and a Swimming Pool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fair warning, this chapter delves into some grosser themes.

“Max.”

…

“Max!”

Wh-

“YO, MAX!”

Ow, my aching head…

The blaring noise starts coming into focus as I groan in awareness of my aching limbs. So much loud…I creak my eyes open, letting the spinning colours and bright lights consume them. This music…I’ve never heard something so unbearably loud in my life. Where am I? Lying sprawled out on some couch…

“Max!”

Who is that? I can’t tell…Everything is so blurry, and these colours…They’re so bright and vivid it hurts.

“Seriously, get the fuck up, Max. I wanna sit down too.”

I dig the heels of my palms into my eyes to shield them from the overwhelming light. “Who…?”

“MOVE IT!”

Ow…Now they’re trying to shove me aside. I lazily lift myself onto my backside and slump against the backrest of the couch after much struggling. Everything is so…Heavy. My head, my body, everything.

“Welcome to the land of the living, now please don’t hog all the stuff again in future?”

I squint through my blurry vision at the person now sitting next to me, the heavy bass filling the room now hitting me with full force. Blonde pixie cut, puckered lips, soft jaw, brown eyes, a cashmere that just screams overcompensation…

“Victoria?”

She laughs in a demeaning manner, offering me a snarky grin. “Wow, this shit hit you good, didn’t it?”

“What…”

I flinch as she snaps her fingers an inch away from my face. “Yo, Earth to Max! You’re high as shit again!”

I look at the low coffee table in front of the couch. There’s a bigish plastic bowl sitting on it, with the residue of…Something coated over the inside. Did I…? No…

I look around some more as my eyes steadily rise in reliability. A couple of feet in front of me is the back of the culprit of this deafening noise; a DJ propped on a short stage overlooking the rest of this place who looks like he’s having way more fun than he should be with that turntable. I begin to recognise some faces as I concentrate through the crowds. There’s Haden, collapsed on a couch in the corner with a few others and a pleased grin on his face. Dana and Trevor are full of so much energy, over there…Though maybe Trevor has a little too much vigour in his veins with how goofy his dancing is. And there’s Courtney and Taylor, shooting me an aloof and unfriendly glare as usual.

So this is…The End of the World party…? Chloe…Where could she be? I rub my eyes again and face Victoria to practically trip over my slurred words that even I can only barely hear over this music. “Have you seen a girl, Victoria? She has blue dyed hair, probably wearing a leather jacket and she’s pretty tall…Her name’s Chloe-“

“What, you got a cool new friend or something, Maxine? Keeping her a secret from me?”

What…? This…This doesn’t make any sense. Victoria…? I wobbly stand up, taking a moment to find my balance. “I…I gotta go. Bathroom break.”

I barely hear the girl over the music as I stumble away into the maze of people and colour. “Don’t throw up too much!”

There’s so many people, here…I worm between the small groups of three to five mingling amongst each other, making an effort to avoid as much physical contact as possible. I mumble under my breath out of some innate politeness, “Excuse me, sorry, I just need to get past.” They’re chatting, drinking, dancing, laughing…Are they laughing at me? No…They don’t even see me, they don’t care.

The dark, thumping bass flows and vibrates fully within me as my brain finds its focus. It expands and contorts my veins, overpowers my senses; my head ready to burst from how it forces its way through my blood and body. It makes me sick to my stomach; invokes a deep, dark stress in my mind with each violent beat it sends through my eardrums.

There’s the curtain…The way out of this VIP section. Beside it, in a dark corner…Two people making out. No, wait, are they- Augh…Gross. I push through the curtain to look upon the rest of the Blackwell swimming pool. Look at them all…Messing around in the water; throwing beach balls at each other, splashing each other’s faces, or just chilling and taking in the dark, heavy basslines.

I need to get out of here…Find Chloe. I look to the rest of the hall – more crowds to fight through, great…I bring my focus to my immediate front, to see a man approaching me.

“Max? There you are!”

No.

No it can’t be.

It’s him.

“O-Oh,” My stutter is mostly drowned out by the booming noise as I immediately recognise those hipster glasses, that wavy hairstyle, full beard and casually formal attire, “Hi, Mr. Jefferson.”

“I’m happy I bumped into you!” He beams a smile at me that sends a sickly feeling to my gut, “I’m just about to announce the winner of the Everyday Heroes contest!”

“O-Oh, that’s great!” I blurt out, the uneasiness blatant in my voice, “I-I’ve gotta go, though-“

He shakes his head. “Come on, Max! You put so much work into your photo you should at least stay for the ceremony!”

But I didn’t submit a pho-

N-No, I did. I remember…The one of me in front of my Photo Memorial Wall…I kept it…?

I nod, hoping to draw attention away from the thousand-yard stare I’ve been holding. “O-Okay, Mr. Jefferson, I would like to see who won so I can congratulate them, after all!”

“Good to hear, Max! I think that’s my cue right about now!” He waves me off, slipping through the curtain to the VIP area.

This is…This can’t be-

It…It could be. I take stance by the wall and relax into it, inhaling a deep breath as I feel butterflies well up in my stomach in anticipation. It would be so cool if I were to win the contest, but…

There’s Mr. Jefferson. He climbs up onto the DJ’s stage, taking a hold of a microphone. The music cuts out with an obnoxious sound as he stands up straight in front of the counter the turntable is placed on.

“Good evening, everyone! If I could have everyone’s attention for a few minutes – you needn’t worry, the music’ll resume soon enough! It’s now time to announce the winner of the Everyday Heroes contest!”

The entire hall bursts in cheers and gleeful shouts at the mention of the contest, and truth be told a wide smile forms on my own face as well. I look to the masses of people. Maybe Chloe is here…Somewhere. I do recognise many of the faces; Alyssa, Brooke…There’s Victoria, too. She smiles and motions me to come over, though I pretend not to notice as I keep my gaze just far enough to the side that I can still monitor her from the corner of my eye; just in case she decides to come over.

“But,” Jefferson continues, “Before I do, I just wanted to thank every one of you who entered the contest. I can’t begin to tell you how encouraging it is to see so many talented people ready to involve themselves in the art world, to present their work for the public to appreciate…As far as I’m concerned, you’re all Everyday Heroes!”

The room erupts in another explosion of hands clapping and joyful voices booming. Augh…I was hoping the loud noises would be over by now…I cover my ears until it dies down, and Jefferson resumes his announcement. He takes a small piece of paper and unfolds it, taking a moment with raised eyebrows and widened eyes to confirm what it reads.

“Well, well…The winner of the Everyday Heroes contest is…Max Caulfield!”

Wh-

That…That can’t-

Me?

This isn’t right…

I know it isn’t.

Once again, my ears are assaulted by a storm of thunderous praise. Practically the whole room begins to chant my name, egging me on as Jefferson looks to me with a genuine smile.

I…I need to go up to the stage, don’t I? To say something…Say a speech, say thank you to…Someone. I make my way through the people all clapping and celebrating my success, with several pats on the shoulder as their eerie gazes never leave me. I slip through the curtain to the VIP section, and climb onto the stage. Jefferson hands me the microphone and whispers, “Congratulations, Max.”

I intake a deep breath, and look to the endless eyes all trained on me. “W-Wowser, I-I didn’t really prepare for this, haha…”

My shyness earns some sympathetic chuckles from the crowds (as well as some not so sympathetic laughter.) A hot blush lights up my face and I dig through my head for something to say.

“Um…Wh-When I started taking photos with my dad’s old camera when I was a kid, I never really imagined I’d get somewhere like here…O-Or accomplish something like this, w-wowser. I really can’t tell all of you how happy it makes me to see you all so…Awesome. Y-You really are all Everyday Heroes. Um…I-I guess I’d just like to say thank you to everyone for supporting me so much, a-and of course Mr. Jefferson for…For… ”

I look in horror as my eyes trail off to the polaroids laid out before me on the bench. These…These aren’t my photos.

They’re Jefferson’s.

They’re pictures of me.

Half-conscious, bound by my wrists with duct tape, just barely making sense of the sickening situation I’m in through the drugs clouding my mind enough that I can put two and two together to struggle in my bonds as I fruitlessly try and hide my face from the lens.

He leans in closer to me, so much so his voice is amplified by the microphone too. “I wanted to thank you, as well, Max.”

No…Why…

“For being my best subject.”

I drop the microphone, sending deafening screeching feedback echoing throughout the hall. I take a step back away from him, as the crowd begins to cheer again.

“I hope we can have our sessions forever, Max, forever in my Dark Room.”

I shake my head, a tightness taking a hold of my throat. “N-No…This isn’t how it’s supposed to be-”

He grabs my wrist with an iron grip. “I know it’s scary, Max, but it is…Our destiny, after all.”

“Mr. Jefferson…Let me go, please-“

He grins devilishly and chuckles, infusing a sickening feeling over my mind. “You know I can’t do that, Max. We have so much progress to make - together…”

I fight and worm through his grasp, clawing at him with my free hand. “Let me go- Just let me go, please- I won’t go back-” The crowds’ loud encouragement never ends, and tears begin to spill down my cheeks. I'm able to grab a hold of and dig my nails into Jefferson's face with a slash, leaving three deep cuts and breaking his bond on my wrist. He grunts in pain and growls violently as blood begins to drip from his cheek. “Oh, Max! Get back here you **bitch!** ”

I shake my head again and stumble back across the stage as he stomps towards me with a murderous glare on his face. In my panic, I backpedal too far and my heart briefly stops as I feel myself slip off the edge. I cry out in shock as I meet the pool’s surface, and everything turns black.

…

…..

……..

“Max?”

Wh-

“Are you in there?”

Who-

“Yo, Max!”

I drag myself out of the pooling water, choking and sputtering moisture. I gasp and wheeze as I grasp what air I can in my lungs.

“Max! What the fuck is going on in there!?”

I frantically scan the room; old, cracked and rotting grey walls, grimy floor tiles that I'm sure were a nice white colour at one point and a sink loomed over by a mirror that looks ready to fall apart at any moment. I’m…I’m in the motel, with Chloe. In this two-in-one bathtub, the day after the storm…

I switch off the shower pouring room temperature water over me and pull myself out of the tub onto my feet as my knees wobble in my newly found consciousness. I’m soaking wet from the shower, and I very nearly slip on the now dampened floor as I approach the door. I unlock it and, almost instantly it creaks open to reveal Chloe’s worried expression.

“Holy shit, Max. What the hell?” She slips past me into the bathroom, surveying the area. “Did you fall asleep or some shit?”

I shake my head, coughing as my breathing now begins to stabilise. “I-I’m okay. Sorry…I-I really have no idea what happened…”

“Fuckin’ hell, had me worried as shit.”

“Sorry…Seriously though, Chloe, I’m okay.”

We fall into a silence, and Chloe just…Looks at me with a smirk. I cross my arms over my bare chest, shivering. “Could you get me a towel?”

She arches an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I-I’m cold and...And…” Her gaze never shifts from my body, and that smile…

“And?”

“Ch-Chloe…Stop it.”

She folds her arms, taking on a playful disposition as her grin quirks even more and her eyes half-lid. ”Stop what?”

I look away in shame. “S-Stop looking at me like that.”

“Why? I’m just admirin’ the view.”

“I-I don’t like it, Chloe- p-please, just stop staring at me.”

She approaches me further as her grin widens, her only slightly taller posture now seemingly towering over me. I take a step back, and find myself against the wall. “Chloe…I-I’m really not in the mood for-“

She rests a hand on the back of my head, pulling me in as she taps her forehead to mine. “C’mon, babe, it’s just me.”

It’s…It’s just Chloe.

Chloe…

Her lips brush against mine, before trailing down to my neck. She runs her tongue against my skin, leaving what feels like a stain upon my body. She puckers her lips and suckles, like a snake sinking its’ venom soaked teeth into my flesh. I freeze on the spot, a combination of cold and shame. Before I can think any further, Chloe brings her mouth to mine like a shackle upon my lips.

It’s just Chloe. It’s just Chloe…

N-No, this is…Different. It’s…Dirty, gross…Wrong.

I gasp her name when I find a moment of air, “Chloe-“

But she ignores me as she grips my wrists, pressing them against the wall. I struggle against her stronger arms, my discomfort turning to panic.

“Chloe- just- stop!“

Fight or Flight fills my senses, and a sudden strength I never knew I had overpowers the girl as I forcefully push her back and she staggers across the room onto her backside with a grunt of pain. I frantically blunder through the doorway, tripping over and falling to my knees; I find my motor skills in my numb mind once more and climb to my feet to grab a blanket or a towel or some clothes or-

I’m somewhere else.

I turn around…Chloe’s gone.

I pat my hands across my torso and legs to find I’m now garbed in my filthy red t-shirt and jeans.

I fall off my feet in relief onto my side and bury my face in my hands.

It wasn’t real, none of it was. It can’t have been…Chloe would never-

She wouldn’t…But I saw her try to. I sob quietly into my palms as I try and force the scene out of my mind. Why was I so uncomfortable with her? Why wouldn't she stop? Why is all of this just so…Wrong?

Chloe respects me.

She cares about me.

She loves me.

She would never-

“Max,” I hear a sorrowful voice in the air, “I’m so alone.”

I free my eyes from my hands and take in my new environment; unsorted mounds of clothes littering the floor, a pile of junk overflowing from a trash bin, red, white and blue stars and stripes partially blocking the afternoon light peering through the window, the torment induced graffiti reading ‘I CAN’T SLEEP’ scribbled on the walls…I’m in Chloe’s room.

“Everyone’s gone. I’m all alone again, Max.”

I bring myself onto my knees, then to my feet. I think I hear her…Chloe. I examine the room closer through the layer of moisture over my eyes…She isn’t here. I swear the light leaking around and through the fabric covering her window begins to spill into the walls and floor like paint; consuming the room and gradually turning it white and empty.

“You’re gone, too. You’ve left me again…In my darkest moment.”

I creak open her door and look to the bathroom. She isn’t there…I walk across the hallway and open the door to Joyce and David’s room…Empty as well.

“Max…”

I carefully make my way down the stairs, peeking over the banister as I gain a view of the rest of the ground floor. “Chloe?” My call echoes throughout the house.

“Max? Max!”

It is her! She heard me! She’s here…Somewhere. I just need to find her…

I peer over my shoulder as I reach the bottom of the stairs to see the first floor hallway covered in white emptiness. Everything is so…Quiet. There’s no birds chirping outside, or cars driving by; the only sounds mitigating the silence are the creaking floorboards under my weight, my quickening breaths and the faint voice in the air.

“Max, it’s me. I’m here…”

I look down the hallway – empty. It’s like I’ve gone back in time, as pace through and pay closer attention to the details…The pictures of Chloe from her childhood on the wall; skateboarding, playing on a swing, chasing those silly birds away…The envelopes containing notifications about unpaid debts and bills, the stain of wine partially hidden underneath the rug by the TV, even the sad glass bottle marked with an Eiffel Tower only containing pocket change.

“I’m here for you.”

I look through the glass sliding door to the backyard – there’s no one there, either. From here though, I can see that massive wooden board me and Chloe spent that whole day drawing on. Hah…It’s such a dumb picture, now that I look at it, with the giant rainbow in the background, the out-of-proportion island barely off the beach and the crude doodle of us both running across the beach hand-in-hand towards all those whimsical animals.

I wish I could use my power with it to go back to that day…

“You’ve been gone for so long.”

I turn the corner into the living room. Could she be in the garage? She said she wanted to find a memento in that box…O-Or…Did she? I heard her say it…

I carefully open the door halfway, and peek through the crack.

What…?

Everything is…Different.

There’s an elevated hospital bed in the middle of the room and a huge wall-mounted TV screen opposite it. Underneath the TV is a dresser, and beside the bed…Another huge monitor, with a mouth piece…Thing sitting on its’ desk. On the far end of the room is a window letting light spill into the room, with another dresser beside it.

“I can’t go on without you…”

I slip into the room and pace around. What is this…?

No, wait…I remember.

But this…What does it mean!?

Her voice sobbingly whispers on the air again. “Max, please…Come back to me.”

I return to the main hall, the converted garage disappearing into pale nothingness as I step away. Walking back down the hall, Chloe’s voice becomes clearer as the front door comes into view.

“Damnit…Please…”

I approach the door, my steps leaving white splotches on the ground that slowly expand and engulf the space around them. Her low voice hesitates in my mind with a sniffle.

“Okay…Okay. I’ll wait for you as long as you need, Max.”

I look back to where I’ve been across the hall and up the stairs; it’s all gone, lost in the white nothingness.

“I’ll never leave you.”

I…I get it now.

I grip the handle tightly and press it down.

“I promise.”

I’m ready to come back again.

Her voice drifts softly in my mind one last time. “I love you…So much.”

I pull the door open for the blinding sunlight to envelop my vision and turn everything blank.

…

……

………

Ow…A sharp, stabbing pain in my left arm.

I slowly lift my eyelids, hesitating a few times as I adjust to the light they’ve been blocking. I blink again as the colours and detail begin to leak in…Blue eyes fixated on me and glistening in moisture, complimented by ragged hair bangs of the same colour falling on both sides over pale soft skin. I find the feeling in my other arm and reach out my hand to rest on her cheek - grimy and damp in tears and dust as her lips form into a warm, hopeful smile.

“Chloe…I finally found you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Your suffering will be rewarded with fluff and comfort, soon.  
> Actually, I wanted to briefly explain myself; and I usually try to avoid this for fear of it ruining my integrity or something. Whatever, not important. I really feel the need to point out that I'm not entirely comfortable with the very brief display of non-consent midway through this chapter. It's contributed to making this an important but difficult chapter to write; probably the most so of the entire fic so far.
> 
> Emphasis on difficult, naturally. I often like to keep my reasoning for writing what I do a mystery due to suspense or pretentiousness or whatever, but I really feel the need to explain it. I essentially want to establish that Max is afraid of intimacy due to her sheltered life combined with all that Dark Room trauma. And she's insecure and worried that Chloe won't respect that; the ambiguity of our favourite punk's less-than-respectable activities in her young adult years painting a concerning picture for what to expect from her in a relationship.
> 
> Fuck that was long winded. Anyway, sorry if anyone's triggered or whatever. I really don't feel that it's delved into enough to warrant adding a warning about it, but we'll see.


	12. The Long Climb Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very late to posting this.

I freeze on the spot, looming over Max in as I watch her eyes focus on mine and her lips contort into a smile that mirrors my own. “Max,” I whimper, still somewhat in disbelief at the fact her eyes have slid open and she just spoke directly to me as I sandwich her hand against my cheek with my own, “I’ve missed you so much…”

She blinks a few times, and then a few times more. Shit…What if she’s freaking out? She’s been out for days…There’s no telling what she’s thinking. I rub my face into her palm, then bury a kiss in it. “It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay. I’m here Max, and you’re here with me.”

“Chloe,” She says weakly with an absent-minded whine; in any other situation, the fact that we’ve both yet to break eye contact would probably be really creepy, “Where am I?”

“We’re in Arcadia Bay, Max. I-It’s almost been a week since the storm, but-“ A tear drops from my face, splashing onto Max’s, “Sorry.” I wipe my free hand across my uncovered cheek.

She doesn’t even seem to notice as her eyes trail off to the side. “Chloe, my arm hurts.”

Wha- I look to her left arm- ahh, right. “You’re on an IV drip, Max. You’ve been out cold for days…”

An incomprehensible, distressed murmur escapes her lips. “C-Can you take it off, Chloe? I don’t…I don’t like it.”

“I dunno if I’m supposed to, Max, i-it might be important.” Shit…Her needles thing. I remember I used to tease and make fun of her for that when we were kids…Just one more thing to add to the Things Chloe Needs to Feel Shitty About list.

“Please, Chloe,” She pleads, giving me the glazed over puppy-dog eyes, “I-It’s hard to move my body and it really hurts.”

Ohhh…What the hell do I do? I’m not an expert with this shit! What if it’s important? Then again…She is awake now, does she even need the…Whatever the fuck is being pumped into her veins? Okay, okay. I give her arm a looking over; so I just…Peel off the band-aids, then pluck it out? Yeah, no biggie…

“Fuckin’ god damnit…Alright, gimme a sec.” I place a finger on the edge of the band-aid, carefully flicking it out of position enough that I can grip it between my index and thumb. Max seriously looks like she’s just woken up in a Saw torture situation or some shit…I gently  take a hold of her shoulder. “Hey, you’re okay babe. Just take it easy, yeah?”

“I-I don’t know what’s going on, Chloe,” Her breath hitches in panic as she speaks, “N-Nothing makes sense…”

“I’ve gotcha, alright? Just think about how cool I am or some shit. Oh and uh…Heads up, this might sting.” I tug at the adhesive bandage, slowly removing it with that distinct ‘peeling’ sound. Max seems to be in a lot more pain from it than she really should be as a heart-twisting sound of agony escapes her throat…Probably just feeling really sensitive with the needle or from having just woken up or I don’t know should I even be doing this what if I do something wrong I only just got her back I can’t-

Ugh.

Fuck.

Focus you dumb bitch.

I give her shoulder a squeeze as the band-aid slips off, revealing the needle stuck in her arm held in place by another adhesive sheet underneath. “Hey, come on, Max-pad. Talk to me. Uh…How you been doing? Sorry, dumb question.”

“I-I’ve been looking for you Chloe, for so long…I don’t know how long. Since forever...” She speaks…Weirdly. Like she’s not all there, or she’s not even talking to me in the first place…Fuck this is spooky. Just focus on the IV…

“Well congrats, sista’, you found me. And boy am I glad you did. Uh, heads up again, might hurt.” I pluck at the transparent plaster until my nails get a grip on it, before gradually dragging it along the width of her arm until it pops right off; all the while sounds of discomfort and pain from Max twist more knots in my chest.

“See Maximo? We’re almost done, no big deal. Just um…Hold still for a second, yeah?” I take ahold of where the IV pump…Thing ends as close to where her skin begins as I can between my fingers. Max seems to take my request kinda literally as she freezes on the spot, eyes open wide. Hell, in the very brief moment I psyche myself up Max seems to be in some kind of brutal agony or some shit.

With a gentle tug, the needle slips out of her flesh; far easier and quicker than I expected it to, to be honest. Max exhales a gasp of…Relief? Pain? Jesus, now I’m really getting scared. I plop back down in the chair and let the drip-needle thing fall to the ground, leaning towards her as I take a hold of her hand. “Well uh…There we go, Max. How you feelin’?”

Did she even hear me? She’s just looking up at the ceiling, eyes unfocused as her breathing begins to calm. I gently pat her shoulder. “Yo, Max.”

She turns her head to face me, with an empty expression I’d expect to see on the creepy girl in some horror film right before going on a murder spree or turning out to be a demon or some shit. “Chloe…”

I put on a smile and run a finger through her hair. “You’re alright, babe. See? No more needle!” I softly pat the red puncture mark on her arm before trying my question again, “How’re you feelin’?”

“Is it gone?” She avoids answering or didn’t register the question, again, frustratingly.

“Of course, dude,” I say boastfully, “Come on girl, didn’t you hear the news? I’m a hella professional at all this medical crap.” Shit, probably not the best time to tell jokes like that. With everything going through her head, she probably believes me. “Uh, not really. I’m uh- J-Just joking, Max. Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake…You’re not making this any easier with a vague response like that, Maximo. Just keep talking, Chloe, keep her grounded or whatever. Um…Let’s try again, I guess. I take a hold of her hand, smoothly running a finger across the back of it. “You alright?”

And…Nothing. Max just lies there, staring at the ceiling blankly, silently mouthing something to herself. I hover between what I should do next; let her chill or try and keep her in this plane of reality, before saying firmly, “Max.”

She turns her head to look at me, again in that spooky as shit way. “Are you okay?” I try again, with some irritation or stress showing in my voice.

“…I don’t know.”

I lean in closer, bringing the girl’s hand to my lips. “Everything’s okay, Maxi-pad. You’re okay…I promise.”

Her eyes trail off and lose focus, shifting from eye contact to my neck. “Nothing makes any sense, Chloe.”

“Whatcha mean? Nothing’s changed, Max…We’re still together, we’re still gonna head to Seattle, we’re still gonna see your folks.”

Max weakly shakes her head, closing her eyes. “I don’t know what’s real or not, Chloe. Everything in my head’s just…Messed up. I-I was seeing so many things that were so real but…They didn’t happen. But now I’m here…A-And I still just don’t know…”

“You…Don’t know?”

“I-I don’t know what to trust, Chloe!” She exclaims in a short outburst, “Everything’s been trying to trick me or twist things and now I’m here and…And I don’t know what’s real or…Or what’s happened and what hasn’t a-and I just don’t know!”

I position her hand against my cheek. “I’m real, Max. I promise. Everything else is fucked up and wrong, but I’m- W-Well, I’m kinda fucked up and wrong as well, but…Shit,” a grin forms on my lips as I decide to just play along with my botched attempt at comfort, “Hold on, I can recover from this one, just gimme a minute…”

That earns a sweet, quiet giggle that ends too soon and sends way too much euphoria than it should to my head. “Still super bad at mushy stuff…Definitely my Chloe.”

“The one and only.”

We fall into a pleasant silence; well, more of a breather to recollect ourselves. I think I’ve managed to stabilise Max at least a little, so I decide to just let her make sense of all this shit. Honestly, I’m still riding the emotion train at full speed myself just from the sheer fact I’ve finally got her back in my life again…Again. So it might be best for me to calm down so I don’t do something weird or overbearing.

“How many people are gone, Chloe?”

I do a double take at the question, lifting an eyebrow and stuttering my response. “What?”

“I don’t know who is alive or dea-…Gone, Chloe. I-I think my memories are all messed up…”

I hold my forehead as I try and remember any notable survivors, because it’d probably be easier to list those off anyway. Damnit…Do I even wanna answer this question to begin with? Like, is this the shit Max really needs to hear right now? Is this the shit I really need to be t reliving, right now…?

“Chloe?”

I release a stressful breath. “Your buddy from Blackwell, Warren is all good…Ish. He’s got like, messed up burns on his face but he’s okay. I think his girlfriend-not-girlfriend is aliveish as well?”

“Y-Yeah, Brooke and Warren…They’re okay. I remember.” Max exhales her own sigh; more out of relief than emotional pressure like me, though.

“And uh…Y-Yeah, that’s about it. Sorry.”

Max shifts her gaze from the ceiling to me, now, with eyes just barely glazed over in moisture. “Chloe…Where are Joyce and David?”

After a moment of hesitation, I shake my head.

“But- no, that’s…That’s not how it’s supposed to be-“ She turns away, as if in shame or something, “Chloe…”

“Hey, hey,” Don’t you start crying, Max, don’t you god damn dare this is supposed to be a happy moment, “None of that’s important to me right now, m’kay?”

“Why, Chloe?” She lowly murmurs, ending off with a sniffle.

“Because, fucking…I don’t know, I have you? Love of my life n’ all that shit?”

Y’know…Come to think of it…Mom n’ David being gone…

It really isn’t that important to me right now.

What does that say about me?

Max holds her response for a moment, before exhaling a groaned sigh. “Sorry…I-I guess I was just hoping that maybe in this mess of thoughts and memories…Something happy would’ve been true.”

“Dude, you’re hella back,” I smile, resting a comforting hand on Max’s arm in the hopes it’ll coerce her to shift her gaze back to me, “I get my Maxi-pad back, n’ I get to live with her in the big city…Sista’, I couldn’t be happier.”

Max opts to change the subject, which tells me she’s run out of things to be angsty about, at least for now. “Um…C-Can you help me up, Chloe? My body feels super heavy and it’s hard to move…”

I nod, “Sure thing,” And worm a hand underneath her upper back for support. “Whenever you’re ready.” Max plants her hands firmly against the mattress and weakly lifts her upper body’s weight up with a pained groan until she’s in a sitting position. I chuckle, moving my hands to her shoulders to stop her from falling back down. “Don’t overdo it, grandma.”

Max scoffs with a smirk, “Quiet, you.” And slowly shuffles her legs across to hang off the side of the bed, before slumping her back against the wall to relax. “Thanks.” She smiles, with a hint of embarrassment showing in how she avoids direct eye contact…Fuck that was cute.

“I gotcha,” I lift myself from this chair, stretching out my back that’s aching from leaning over as long as I have been. I clamber onto the bed and lean into the wall, reaching an arm across Max’s shoulders as she lets her weight fall against my side.

“I think everything’s starting to make sense, now,” She releases a pleased sigh, “Like, um…I’m starting to organise all the memories that actually happened and the ones that were just me being…Um, messed up in the head, I guess.”

“Max,” I take on a grim tone, “Don’t say it like that, c’mon. You’re not messed up in the head, m’kay?”

“What else could we call it, Chloe? I-I’ve got a second me in my head, and I’m getting nosebleeds and panic fits and falling into comas for no reason…”

“No one else in the world can control fucking space and time itself, y’know,” I take a hold of her hand, squeezing it gently, “Just, like…None of this shit is on you, is all I’m saying.”

With some notable hesitation showing she wanted to retort that, Max shifts the subject. “Do we um…Well, need to let someone know I’m awake, now?”

“Yeah, sure,” I pull her close and tightly, lowering my voice to a whisper, “Fuck that, at least for now? This is pretty nice…”

* * *

It isn’t really as cold out here as I was expecting, so that’s kinda weird. I mean it’s not a pleasant atmosphere, god no. It’s still pretty chilly, all those decomposing masses of blubber strewn across the beachline are carrying a really crappy aroma on the wind, and don’t get me started on how I don’t smell much better from all the sweat and dirt that’s dried into my clothes at this point.

But I like this. Sitting on the hood of Chloe’s old car wrapped in her arms, watching the sun creep down the horizon…The ruined ghost town behind me almost feels…Far away, like it’s not a problem anymore. Obviously it is a problem, especially since my steadily improving grasp on reality is reminding me more and more just how many people are gone because of me and…I’m just gonna stop thinking about this. Or well, at least try to.

It…Kinda sucks that we’re staying here a little longer. Sucks for Chloe, mostly. I know that I already knew Joyce and David were gone, but after waking up like that…It feels like everything coming my way is new information. Should I even tell her I wasn’t even sure if the fact we’re in a relationship was real or just some manipulative fantasy concocted by **her?**

Come to think of it, **she’s** been…Well, quiet. I remember seeing her…Somewhere, in this mess of flashes and disconnected thoughts that must’ve been dreams/nightmares from when I was out.

Bleh. I don’t wanna think about that, either.

Um…

The doctor says I seem okay, though he wants to make sure in the morning. And um…

Seattle! Shit, yeah. We’re finally going there soonish! To take it easy, and see my-

Crap.

“Chloe,” I lift my chin to meet her gaze as it shifts away from the ocean, “Do my parents…Well, do they know?” Chloe’s content smile near instantly drops to an ‘oh shit’ sort of look as I mention my parents, so…That’s a good sign.

“Uh, well, no…” She mumbles guiltily.

“Chloe…What’s that voice for?”

“I freaked and panicked, okay?” She sighs exasperatedly, “They called the other evening when you first passed out, n’ I didn’t know how to explain all this shit so I just, y’know…Lied. Said you were sleeping n’ just wanted to be left alone.”

“Oh.”

I don’t really know what to think of that. They’re my parents! I can’t just tell them ‘by the way guys, was in a coma for a little while but it’s cool.’ But…They’re my **parents!** They have a right to know this crap and yet…

I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I haven’t even been away from them that long and they really do just seem so…Distant. Like, way too distant considering the fact they’re my **parents.**

Bleh…It’s not like I’m not already hiding stuff from people close to me as is. I think…Chloe said it best; it’s like I’m living two lives, the one that everyone sees and the one that never happens.

Our own special life, separate from the rest of the world.

Wait…No, Chloe never said that to me.

Did she?

Argh! Fuck. Everything’s all messy again.

“Sorry,” Chloe spurs me from my thoughts, “Like, actually extremely sorry. I fucked up and did selfish shit like I always do.”

I groan in defeat. “No, you…You’re not selfish. Look, just…Forget about it, it’s okay. We should try and keep this a secret though, right?”

“I uh…Dunno. Sorry, but…Your call.”

Yeah, like I’m in the right state of mind for making decisions…

“I guess I should at least call them and…Say something to them, right?” I pluck my phone from my pocket. I sort of expect Chloe to like…Let go so I can comfortably have the phone to my ear, but this works I guess.

“Tell them I said hi.” Chloe nuzzles her cheek into my head with a low chuckle. Man…You forget how nice this cuddle stuff is…

Right, okay. Mom and dad. Phone. I squirm through Chloe’s grasp to bring it to my ear. One ring cycle, two ring cycles-

“Maxine?”

“Hi mom.”

“Hi Vanessa.” Chloe cheerily chimes in, which was probably heard on the other end by how she’s quite literally breathing down my neck.

“Oh, god,” Mom’s hurried voice sounds overcome in relief, “You’re okay. I-I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday, Maxine, I just thought that you would’ve wanted some space, or-“

“It’s totally cool, mom,” I cut in as it sounds like she’s about to slip into a panic, “I um…I’m really sorry for shouting at you the other day. No excuses, it was a total jerk thing to do to you.”

Wait, did that even happen? Or is that just…?

“Oh…” She sounds taken aback, and to be fair there’s always this…Distance between us. Like, stuff I won’t tell her, or inconvenient truths we both know about but will feel too awkward to properly mention. Like, that’s messed up, isn’t it? That’s the kind of discomfort between like…Strangers, or acquaintances. Not my own…God damn mother.

But I mean, it wasn’t always that way, anyway.

Or maybe she’s just confused and me getting pissy with her didn’t actually happen. In which case, fuck.

“Uh…Y-Y’know,” I stammer to tack on something that’ll make more sense, just in case, “It wasn’t cool of me to just delay us like that, and you must’ve been super worried over everything-“

“It’s okay, Maxine,” Mom’s the one to interject my rambling, this time, “I’ll be honest…I had forgotten about the whole thing. Guess I’ve just been my usual self and obsessing over the worrying.”

Oof. I always wince when mom’s self-aware or makes a joke about her issues. Like she…Deserves more respect than that…Uh, from herself.

“It’s okay. We’re okay, mom. Um, we’re gonna come home soon, okay? I super promise this time.”

“I’ll be holding you to that, Maxine.” I know mom just means it as a joke, but…Her voice is always so solemn. Not in…A strict way, but- Okay, sometimes in a strict way, but at least this time it’s just…Hopeful. I laugh it off, awkwardly.

“Is dad there?”

“Nope,” She hesitates for a second with a short laugh, “Papa bear’s off in the woods for a bit.”

“I uh…I imagine he’s done something to get **that** nickname, right?” I grin devilishly. If there’s one thing Mom and I take no shame in, it’s teasing the hell out of dad with stupid names or never letting down any of the many dim-witted moments he’s had in several embarrassing social settings.

“Oh, it’s just a silly one,” Mom does her ‘it’s no big deal but listen to this juicy gossip’ type voice, “He won’t shave the beard, right? So it’s grown a bunch since you last saw us, and the neighbours must’ve saw him tidying up the front lawn last week. So we’ve all got this…Bear-Lumberjack joke between us, now.”

“That sounds positively stupid, mom.” And kinda weird. Papa Bear? Okay…At least Chloe finds it funny, as she stifles a giggle with her palm over her mouth.

“Is that Chloe? I thought I heard her a minute ago. Put her on for a minute, Maxine.”

Before I can even say ‘Okay’, Chloe slips her hand to my ear and yanks the device away herself. I stick her a raspberry as she brings it to her own. “Heyo, Mrs. C,” She greets confidently, “Papa Bear? C’mon, for beard-shaming, that’s weak.”

I can just barely vaguely sort of hear the other end of the line as Mom laughs gingerly. “Well, we can’t all be masters of comedy, Chloe.”

“Yeah, yeah, fair enough,” Chloe shows no restraint on her patented bravado, “Gonna open my own mocking school n’ you guys’ll be my first students, don’tcha know?”

Mom just laughs again; it’s usually what she does to deflect an awkward conversation. “How’re you doing, Chloe?”

“Hella better. Can’t wait to see you guys again.”

“Oh, good…” Mom breathes heavily in relief, “You sound so much better than the last time we talked, as well. It’s certainly going to be strange; seeing you all grown up, Chloe,” She chuckles, “I can only imagine what a shock it was to see Max after all this time.”

“Yeah,” Chloe eyes me mischievously, “I didn’t think the girl’s dorkitude levels could rise any higher, but she never fails to impress with her new ‘I just woke up and don’t give a damn’ hairdo.”

I slap her good, for that. And from the snickering on the other end of the line, mom knows it as Chloe exclaims playfully “Hey! Down Max! I never said I don’t like it, it hides your chubby cheeks a little!”

She gets another slap for **that,** on the back of the head this time.

“Ow…” She rubs the viciously slapped area and pouts, “Yeah, okay. Deserved that.”

Mom’s been laughing the whole time, loudly. “Oh, god,” She steadily calms herself, “You two haven’t changed in the slightest.”

I snatch the phone from Chloe’s hand and bring it to my ear once more, “Yeah, for better or for worse.” I shoot a glare at Chloe, which quickly devolves into a smile and a roll of the eyes as she inflates her cheeks and makes a dumb kissy face. “But, um…I dunno if we’re gonna leave tomorrow or not, mom,” I briefly shift my eyes to Chloe’s maintained expression, “We’re gonna talk about it, I guess.”

“Don’t worry about it, Maxine. Take as much time as you need, alright?”

“We will,” I find myself just sort of…Lulling back into Chloe’s snuggle. Like, without even really thinking about it, “We won’t be too long, though!”

Mom laughs; I sort of…Forget how nice it is, hearing her so happy. “Naturally. Take care, sweetie. Love you.”

“You too.” I wait an awkward moment in case she happens to say anything else, before tapping the ‘end call’ button.

“Hmph,” Chloe huffs into my hair as I squeeze the device back between the fabrics of my jeans, “And I even complimented your cute little cheeks.”

“’Chubby’ and ‘little’ are two words with different meanings, Chloe Price.”

“Pfft,” She rests her chin atop my head, giving me an affectionate squeeze in her arms, “You know all the artsy fartsy stuff though, finding different meanings in shit is your speciality!”

A simple “Heh” is all I can really muster at that. I…I dunno if artsy stuff is even really…Me, anymore. It all feels kinda…Tainted, now. I imagine myself looking through the lens of my camera, and all I can think about is me on the other side.

Trapped.

Struggling.

Begging for freedom.

“Uh, Max…”

I bring myself back to reality with a shiver. “What’s up?”

“It’s…Kinda the question I’ve been tryna avoid asking, but it’s also sorta the elephant in the room here…What the hell happened to make you catatonic for days?” I can tell from Chloe’s tone she really doesn’t want to ask this…And I’m not sure if I even want to answer it.

“I…Dunno.”

“You dunno.” She groans in frustration.

“I-I mean…I’m not sure. I think it was **her.** ” I shudder at the mere thought.

“The bitchy you?”

“Y-Yeah,” Everything’s kinda fuzzy as I think about…Just before passing out, but I remember…Bleeding, crying, and…Rage. “I think I pissed her off. Like, a lot. She was trying to convince me to stay here – in her own way, anyway, and when I said no…I just remember her getting...Angry. Really angry.”

“Fuck,” Chloe says with an overwhelmed breath, “This is completely fucked…Is she like, still messing with you?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I shake my head against her neck, “It’s…Kinda awesome, actually. Just being able to…Think so clearly. I-I mean, my memories are still super messed up, and I’m still trying to make sense of stuff but…”

“I getcha, just…I dunno, lemme know if she starts, yeah? I wanna…Help you with this shit, Maxi-pad.”

“I’ll try,” I worm out of her arms to give her a warm smile, “Promise.”

We hold the eye contact; maybe a few seconds longer than is socially acceptable. Heck, just when I realise we’ve been gawking at each other like dumb animals Chloe piques my interest again as she slowly edges closer towards me. Wha- Oh, right. The kissing part.

We’re uh, a couple. That’s so fucked up that I’m still not even a hundred percent sure of that.

Okay, okay. It’s just Chloe. Jesus…Even when I know in my head we’ve done this before, it just seems…Weird.

Her eyes shut tight and I close the rest of the distance for our lips to meet.

Uh, wowser. Wow. Ser.

This is…

This is my Chloe.

Not some...Perverse nightmare of her, twisted to screw with my head. It’s Chloe. Perfect, caring, beautiful Chloe.

“Fuck I’ve missed you.” She murmurs between what I’m going to call ‘mouth-meets.’ Y’know, where, like…You press your lips onto their’s, then pull it back to catch your breath and they do the same and sometimes one of you takes the other by surprise by holding it and- just oh my god please let this never stop.

This is some…Dorky love movie crap, though. Sunset in the distance, sea breeze on the air and uh-

W-Well, there’s still the big decaying chunks of meat on the sand in front of us, but-

And it’s kinda really cold as well, but-

None of that matters. It’s my Chloe.

I should probably say something romantic when I get the chance, right? Or like, witty…Nope, can’t think of anything. Chloe takes a hold of my shoulder with one hand, and brings her other palm to my cheek as I rummage through my head for something to mix things up with.

I mean, like…Make-out sessions are meant to be a give-and-take thing, right? Like, Chloe gave some just there, so I need to-

“I love you.” I gasp out when I get the chance. Augh, much corny. Love guru I am not. At least Chloe seemed to like it, as she hums an approving sound into my mouth…Actually that was kinda…

Uh, hot. Y-Yeah, I guess that’s a word I could call it.

Or uh.

Weird.

I think um…

Y-Yeah.

I break the kiss, pulling my head back slightly. Chloe momentarily follows my lips forward, before she seems to get the hint and opens her eyes, a look of confusion on her face as she puts on a concerned sounding voice. “Uh, what’s up? Why’d we-“

“It’s cold.” I hastily blurt out.

“Oh, right,” She mumbles in disappointment, “I mean, wanna warm up inside the car?”

That does sound pretty nice…No, wait. She’d probably want to-

Y-Yeah.

I shake my head as I mentally fumble for a bullshit excuse. “N-No, it’s okay. Um, it’s not so bad.”

The look of bewilderment returns on Chloe’s face. “Uh, you alright?”

I nod; probably a little sooner once Chloe finishes asking than is natural. “Yeah, sorry. I wanted to ask-“ Ask something ask something anything just something “-When’re we leaving the Bay?”

She pauses for a second with a raised eyebrow, before shrugging her shoulders. “Dunno, whenever you want, girl. I uh, did want to stop by my old place before we leave…Or what’s left of it, anyway. If uh, that’s cool with you.”

“Of course!” I exclaim at least a little louder than I intend, “Of course it’s cool, Chloe.”

“Right, yeah. I just uh, wanna find something to, like…Remember everything with, y’know? Some sentimental shit or whatever.”

I worm my arms around Chloe’s torso for us to fall back into a pleasant, far more comfortable cuddle session. “I totally understand.”

Damnit, Max…Think of something else. Stall. Shift attention away from how you just ruined a perfectly good romantic moment before Chloe brings attention to it…

“Uh, Chloe?” She hums a curious sound against my hair, “I-I never really got the chance to ask, between being half-comatose and the doctor checking up on me, but…Are you okay?”

Chloe chuckles in that ‘I’m about to lay some serious shit on you’ type way. “You have no idea how impeccable your timing was when you woke up, Max…I was  going crazy with you gone. I…I think I was about ready to hella hurt myself.”

“Chloe…”

“I uh,” She intakes a sharp breath, “I found David.”

There’s this brief instant of relief at that, though before a smile can form I realise by her tone what she really means. “Oh my god, Chloe…”

“Y-Yeah, um. I was uh, kinda losing it, so uh…Thanks for coming to when you did.” She ends off with a fake chuckle.

I find myself speechless – or at least, a blubbering mess as I try and find the appropriate words. “B-But Chloe, did- I-I mean, what- but-“ I exhale a sigh and out of desperation for a proper show of sympathy I tighten my squeeze around her waist, “Chloe…”

“It’s whatever, m’kay?” She says with fortitude in her voice, “I’ve got you again, n’ that’s all that matters.”

Damnit, now my throat’s getting that all too familiar weakness as my voice comes off as a whimper. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“No, dude,” Chloe almost snaps at me, “Seriously, don’t…Don’t blame yourself for any of this shit, okay? It’s over, it’s behind me. I don’t…I don’t care. It’s all worth it.”

“How can you say that…?”

She buries a kiss against my head, reaching for and gripping my hand. “Like I was saying earlier…You’re the only thing I give a shit about anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just wanted to apologise for taking a bit longer than usual to update. My current plan for the next few chapters is pretty bland as far as I'm concerned, so it's been pretty difficult to both make it interesting and also just find the motivation since uh.
> 
> I'm pretty bad at writing fluff, as we're all starting to learn I'm sure.
> 
> I also won't lie that I did rush this chapter at least a little, so please point out any errors if you find them.
> 
> And I'm pretty obsessed with Fallout 4 right now. Fun fact, I'm roleplaying a Max character in that game. Come to think of it, aren't I writing a Fallout/LiS crossover fic as well? Nah...That would be a stupid idea, even for me.
> 
> Next up, uh. I don't know, actually. Dust, I guess? They're gonna scavenge through Chloe's ruined house, okay.


	13. Relics and Tin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo merry christmas  
> EDIT 22/04/2017 I'M NOT DEAD AND I REWROTE SOME OF THIS CHAPTER TOWARDS THE END HOPEFULLY IT ISN'T AWFUL ANYMORE

Ow, ooh, ow. Leg hurts.

Ow, ooh, ow. My arm is numb. Yeouch that smarts.

Ow, ooh, ow. Is my neck even attached to my body? Can’t even feel my hand to check…Urgh, okay. Gonna have to open my eyes…

Blurry, blurry, blurry…The mess that is my eyesight gradually puts the pieces together as I groan in the agony that is my aching bones. Ech, I know that smell…

Hm. Well, I guess this thigh digging into my neck is the reason I can’t feel it. And the faint scent of tobacco…Is wafting from the torn, scratched leather seat a couple of inches from my face. I’m unable to stretch the full length of my legs because…Of the very little space between me and a car door. Hrngh…I really don’t feel like sitting up. I worm and wiggle onto my back, bringing the back of my head as opposed to my neck to a far more comfortable rest on the denim covered leg.

Wowser…After a blink or two to bring my vision to a focus, the first thing I make out is her angelic face. Er, well, mouth agape, trail of saliva leaking down the corner of her lips and snoring like a damn jet engine angelic face, anyway. Chloe…I guess that explains why I was even able to fall asleep in a cramped, uncomfortable position like this to begin with.

It is kinda really cute, though, the way she’s sleeping like lawnmower. That’s probably the smitten fresh relationship charms talking and I’ll be sick of it after a year of sharing a bed, but I can’t deny that the fact she’s still the brash and crude kid at heart that she’s always been isn’t as endearing as it is. A pleased sigh blows through my lips as my usual overthinking of things leads me to grimmer trails of thought.

I really hope this relationship thing goes well. I mean, _I guess_ we’re inseparable soulmates bound by destiny and god damn space and time at this point, but, just…

I don’t know. I keep thinking Chloe sees me differently than how I see her. N-Not, different differently…I know for definite I’m properly in like, long-term in love with her. Or at least, I’d like to think I am, considering that, even though we were apart for a while, I _have_ had a pretty damn long time for these feelings to form and, y’know.

Last week and all that.

Kinda…Almost died and let a lot of other people die so I can be with her, and all that.

So stop fricking…Second guessing this crap.

But just…I don’t know! I think Chloe just looks at me more…Physically, or whatever.

God, this is stupid.

I go for my phone so I can take my mind off this crap. Switching the screen on reveals…ten percent power, poop. Just past eight in the morning…And a message from Warren? It’s pretty old…Just asking me if everything’s cool from how I ran off from him and Brooke the other day. I should probs message him, shouldn’t I? Urgh, that’s the right thing to do, anyway…

Yeah, okay…

 **[To: Warren]**  
**[Morning. :)]**  
**[Sent!]**

I lock the device again; gotta preserve the power, and all that,  and set it on my lap to bring my gaze back to Chloe’s dopey face. Is it weird I’m watching her sleep? Or is that an acceptable thing for couples to do? What if it’s, like…A joke? Like, if she were to spur awake, would it become endearing if I make some banter about how she slobbers and snores like a rhinoceros?

Do rhinos even snore?

The obnoxious bleep from my lap sends me both recoiling and wondering why Chloe is able to keep her eyes shut at how loud it is. I unlock the screen; first priority, lower the notification volume holy shit. A response from Warren…Surprised he’s up this early.

**[From: Warren]  
[Whoa. Freaky. Is this paranormal Max or actual Max?]**

**[To: Warren]**  
**[Yeah, this is the edgy indie film about the girl in a coma being possessed to murder everyone or whatever. >:)]**  
**[Sent!]**  
  
**[From: Warren]**  
**[That’s one way to start my day. Real talk though, how’re you doing?]**

 **[To: Warren]**  
**[Came to yesterday. Just getting my brain and crap to proper functioning order. Have I missed anything?]**  
**[Sent!]**

**[From: Warren]  
[Yeah, actually…Some info on Mr. Jefferson-**

I turn away as a familiar sickening feeling wells up in my stomach and mind. Come on, Max…Just pretend to act surprised and intrigued or whatever. I reluctantly bring my eyes back to the screen to finish the message.

**[- was leaked on social media. Turns out he was kidnapping Blackwell students. That’s majorly messed up, isn’t it? You should’ve seen his website and Twitter blowing up in hate and death threats.]**

**[To: Warren]**  
**[Wowser. o_o To think I looked up to him.]**  
**[Sent!]**

Um…Shit. I don’t remember…Did it ever get out that Kate was in the Dark Room? Argh…Warren didn’t even mention it, so I’ll just have to assume no…This is gonna be so damn awkward if the conversation comes up with Kate. One slip of the tongue and suddenly I reveal she was being used to satisfy a middle aged bastard’s sick artistry.

Then again, she’s got the police involved in that whole mess, right? They’re like, obligated to inform her of any developments in their investigation, right?

Wait, that’s assuming I even recommended that she contact the police in the first place. Uh…I don’t know. God this is so weird…I remember her asking if she should get them involved, and then…I see both her being overjoyed at my support with a pit of worry falling in my gut, and her scorn as I convince her to keep it all bottled up for the sake of my own animosity. More confusing time travel bullshit…Awesome.

The vibration and hushed tone in my hand brings my eyes back to my phone’s screen.

**[From: Warren]  
[Yeah, positively nuts. On the bright side, Brooke just made a creepy and cynical joke about how at the very least Blackwell’s reputation won’t be ruined in any way, since, you know…It’s not really there anymore. So there’s that.]**

**[To: Warren]**  
**[A very Brooke thing to say. How’re you guys doing?]**  
**[Sent!]**

**[From: Warren]  
[Taking it easy today. There’s gonna be a meet-up for everyone in town to say their piece tommorow. Gonna try and make it, if she’s feeling up to it.]**

**[To: Warren]**  
**[I might go too. Chloe’s on the snooze button atm, so I’ll ask her when her sleepy ass wakes up.]**  
**[Sent!]**

Oof. I think I’m gonna regret saying that…Part of me is dreading hanging out with Warren. Not because he’s like…A bad guy or anything, but, like…How the hell do I tell him I’m with Chloe now? It’s no secret he’s had a thing for me since like, day one at Blackwell.

I think I’m worried for how Chloe would react were she to witness one of his weird advances, as well. Shit, that would be awkward.

Bzzzt. Another message.

**[From: Warren]  
[You free today? Would be cool hang out like normal people.]**

**[To: Warren]**  
**[Maybe later. We’ve got some sentimental emo stuff to do, sorry. :(]**  
**[Sent!]**

**[From: Warren]  
[No problemo. Lemme know when it’s all good…I think Brooke’s getting sick of my company alone. :p]**

7 percent power crapcrapcrap. I’ve cereally gotta save every last slimmer so lock goes the screen and into my pocket my phone goes. Would it be mean to wake Chloe up? She must be so exhausted…Emotionally, I mean. I also really want to get started with the day so I can stop thinking about trivial shit so much, though. What if I wake her with a kiss, or something? Super fucking cheesy…And probably really creepy too.

I won’t lie that her lips look really inviting, though.

I lift myself off Chloe’s lap with a whispered grunt and a curse at my poor, possibly dislocated bones. Yep…If there’s one thing to look forward to in Seattle, it’s a cozy bed…And a cozy girl to share it with. Holy crap that was corny. Are we gonna turn into one of those weirdly close couples? The ones that spend like, ninety percent of their day staring at each other and you never want to invite them to anything because they just smooch and cuddle and giggle and make everything awkward?

Isn’t that like, a line in Star Wars? You have become the very thing you swore to destroy!

Anyway…

I lean in towards Chloe, gently resting a hand on her far shoulder as my lips come intimately close with her face. Uh, what if I like, say something seductive to start off? Wake her up a little bit, just in case she were to like, freak out at coming to in the middle of a to a one-way make-out session.

“Morning, Chloe.” I whisper. No immediate response, I close what little distance is left that my lips make contact with her skin as I speak, “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.” The corners of my lips form into a grin as an unintelligible, quiet moan of approval slips through her mouth and she shudders into the bare minimum of awareness.

And then…Move in for the kill, right? Ooh. Predator/prey metaphors. That was…Different.

I press my lips to her’s, and it’s…

Messy. Lots of saliva from all that sleep-slobbering. Some clanking of teeth, tongue-swapping and in her half-asleep state Chloe makes the most unmitigated and passionate noises straight from the heart and throat. Not to mention that due to the fact neither of us have been able to brush our teeth for almost a week, I’m left with a stale, gross taste in my mouth.

And it’s still Chloe. All the stupid shit around me just…Fades away.

“Oh,” She lazily smiles as we break apart, her eyelids fluttering as she finds the energy to keep them open, “So it’s not a dream…”

“What if it is?” I leave a peck on her lips once more.

“Then I sure as shit can’t wait to wake up and make it a reality.”

“Heh,” I relax back and lean onto Chloe, wrapping my arms across her body, “So you slept well.”

She stretches her legs out with what little space there is in her cramped car to allow it, and I hear the distinct, satisfying sound of several joints popping into place. “Why? You didn’t?” She asks, a genuine concern in her voice.

“Nah, no…I slept, y’know, just fine. Except for the waking up and feeling like my limbs had fallen off, I guess.”

“Wait a sec,” Chloe says in a ‘hold the fuck up’ sort of way, “So the part with the well-furnished dungeon and ropes all happened, too?”

“Oh my god,” My hands being strewn across Chloe’s torso, I have no choice but to facepalm my head against her shoulder, “I was referring to the shitty sleeping conditions, you dork of colossal proportions!”

“Too fucking cute, look at your face light up!” Chloe bursts into a small fit of laughter and chortles during which I make sure to pout my angriest pout her way. She pulls me into a close, tight embrace as she calms down, sighing happily. “Fuck I love you.”

Oh, Chloe…She’s happy and laughing, but…Should I tell her?

Internal sigh. No…She’s just being herself, and I’m not about to reject that. Like I need to ruin yet another person’s good mood, too…

“Hey, Chloe?” Being wrapped in her arm, I squirm my head up to face hers.

“What’s up, Maximus?” I can just barely catch a glimpse of her beaming blue eyes that turn their focus to me. With the morning sun still rising over the ocean as a backdrop, it’s certainly a sight to behold that momentarily leaves me at least a little bit dumbfounded; no doubt with a stupid look on my face to go with it, judging by the smirk Chloe takes on.

“Uh, sorry,” I shake myself out of my trance, “Did you still wanna check out your old place?”

“Rummage through dust and rubble, or spend the morning cuddling with a cute babe by the sea. Hmm…”

“Pfft,” I deliver a playful slap to her leg, “You’re so high on dopamine.”

“Hella,” Chloe’s voice takes on a low, hushed…Seductive? Tone, “It was…A _hella_ good dream, Maxie.”

“Dorkzilla.”

“Heheh,” She tightens the cuddle with a low chuckle, muffled by her lips pressed against my head, “You’d better get used to some long-ass mornings, Maxi-pad.”

* * *

 

“Well…Here we are.”

I’m not really sure when I took Chloe’s hand into mine. I mean, it was probably after she stopped the car at the end of the driveway; the entire front lawn area of what’s left of her house still being covered in debris and junk requires us to park basically in the middle of the road. Or hell, maybe her sweat-drenched palm was locked onto mine from the moment the desolate ruin came into view; how did she stop the car with only one hand? Hell if I know.

She remains silent, gently tugging me along towards and through the space where a front door should be, through which I can see more garbage thrown out of place onto the floor of the entrance.

“Looks like shit’s still in its’ place. Uh, in its’ place out of place,” Chloe surveys  the hallway and the front of the kitchen as she breaks our handhold, stuffing her fists into her pockets, “Guess any looters haven’t been this way, yet.”

Oof. It’s still just so…Disappointing that Chloe has such a low opinion of Arcadia Bay’s people like that. I consider voicing my concerns, but I imagine the last thing I need is to antagonise her. I lean against the kitchen doorframe, taking a moment to just…Accept it. We’ve already been here, we stopped by in a panic as the storm subsided in the vain hopes Joyce or David might be holed up here, but only now am I really realising it.

This home of memories and history – our history, reduced to a ruin. I’m honestly surprised the second floor and the staircase leading up to it are still even standing, taking into consideration the fact that entire back wall of the building has been blown off, with several more supports having collapsed as well, no doubt.

Memories…Hm.

I follow Chloe down the hall into the living room. Jesus…It looks even worse up close. The back wall has fallen over into the back lawn and broken into several pieces. The far corner of the room where the fireplace should be is just…Caved in with wood and brick, and again the running theme of piles of junk and debris dotting the floor require me to take my steps a bit more carefully. I avert my gaze from the grisly scene, to the garage door-

Oh.

I carefully step over some broken glass embedded in the carpet, over to black door. Chloe is rummaging through some overturned cabinets and bookcases next to it, so I slip past her and open the door just barely-

It’s…Just David’s garage. Well, as far as I can see, anyway…I can’t seem to get the door fully open and squeezing my head through crack tells me why; it’s completely caved in, or at least, this end of the room is. I can just barely see David’s intact car parked at the far end, with a landslide of canned food littering the floor around it. Well…At least if we want to get in there, we can use the other door.

“Whatcha lookin’ for in there, Max?” Chloe taps my shoulder, startling me enough that I scrape the sides of my head on the door and doorframe as I turn to face her with a hushed “Ow.”

“Oh, uh, sorry. I was just checking-“

“Can you get in?” She promptly cuts me off with a rushed tone of voice.

“N-No, I don’t think so…It’s blocked by a bunch of crap. It looks like the other entrance might be clear, though-“

And then she’s off. Chloe nods and strides back down the hallway with much haste. I make my way to follow her, my gaze trailing to the right for just a moment-

Oh, huh.

That wooden board with our picture on it.

It’s still there, in the back yard. I totally forgot we took all the detective crap off it and put it back…

I guess it’s fitting it wouldn’t budge during the storm.

Its final resting place.

Stepping outside and onto the fallen wall laying on the ground, I look upon it.

Heh…It really is stupid, isn’t it?

Not just the picture but…

It’s still here.

Same place

Same painting

Same animals

Same people

Same **time.**

**Same Chloe**

**Same Max**

**Forever**

**Always forever**

**Slipping through the cracks**

“Max and Chloe on a merry quest in the jungle to find the hidden treasure with the gay-ass animals.”

**Stepping forward**

 “Max and Chloe fumble through the trees and foliage and find the super fuck-off Aztec temple or whatever.”

**Falling into the colours**

“All the animals are too panzy n’ just run back to the lame beach.”

**Have to stop**

 “But Chloe and Max are badass as shit and don’t even bring their flashlights-“

**Have to go back**

 “Pfft, you idiot. The Aztecs didn’t have flashlights.”

**Have to be with Chloe**

 “Yeah, but we’re modern explorers n’ shit lookin’ for old treasure, n’ shit.”

**Needs me**

“I thought we were supposed to be pirates?”

**Need her**

“Modern pirates.”

**Looking for her**

“So less-cool.”

**Find my Chloe**

“Why don’t you tell a better story then, Squire?”

**Get out of the Bay**

“That’s First Mate Max to you. Anyway…Max and Chloe lead the happy animals-“

**Just us**

“Gay animals.”

**Leave this craphole behind**

“-Happy animals to the hidden Aztec temple, since it used to be their home and it was taken over by the-“

**Never use my power again**

“God this is so lame.”

**Don’t need it**

“You’re lame! Anyway, the temple was taken over by the evil wizard uhm…Mystevo I guess, and he stole all the priceless gold that the animals need to-“

**Only need her**

“Then, Captain Chloe rammed her sword deep in the creepy wizard’s heart and even cut off his old-ass ugly grey beard as a souvenir! Then they took all the gold and left the island and all the dumb animals died!”

**Go back and find my Chloe**

“You suck!”

**Go forward and find my Chloe**

“Not yet.”

**Never-changing Chloe**

“Gross!”

**My Chloe**

“No… _This_ is gross!”

**Same Chloe**

“Augh, Chloe! You know how much I hate how dried paint feels on my skin!”

**Same Painting**

“Heheh, maybe I should throw you overboard to wash it out! Ah, hey! Bad Max! Bad aim, too!”

**Same Place**

“Yeah, just you wait! I think you’d look better in blue than that snooty blonde!”

**Different time**

“Ah! Ohhh…No you did not.”

**Same Chloe**

“Who’s overboard now, Bluehead?”

**Different Max**

“MAX!”

**Max**

**MAX**

**Max**

“Max!”

Wh-

“Max!?”

I stumble back, falling on my onto the grass on my ass and banging my tailbone against the top of the fallen wall behind me. I growl and hiss in pain, wincing as I fumble to stand up.

“Max! There you are! Jesus…”

I rub my palms into my eyes as I endure reality’s harsh…Uh, realities.

Ow…My ass.

Ow…My eyes.

Ow…My head.

I remove my hands from my eyes. Ooh, there we go. This seems to be a common thing, the first thing I see after some time travel crap being Chloe, and all that. Not that I’m complaining…

“Chloe, uh- I’m okay, I kinda tripped I guess.” I walk forward to meet her as though my legs were on stilts, very nearly tripping over as I fail to raise my legs high enough to climb onto the fallen wall. Thankfully, I maintain my balance just enough for Chloe to pull me into a sudden embrace.

“Oof.” My face pressed just above her chest, I wriggle my nose out to find a steady supply of oxygen.

“Sorry. Just, eh…Uh, warning, lameness incoming. I eh, found this box we always kept with all my dad’s crap in it n’ I just started thinking…N’ when you didn’t respond right away my dumb head started telling me you’d left like he did n’…Yeah. Mega lame. Much stupid. Very soz.”

Oh, Chloe…

“Oh, Chloe…” I echo my thoughts with what might be the saddest smile I’ve ever pulled, “I’m never leaving you, okay? I’m super sorry. I-I was just thinking about dumb crap and uh…I-I guess I was in my own airhead world like always.”

“Yeah, it’s cool,” Chloe releases the hug and takes my hand into hers; the sweat situation on her skin having shown no signs of improvement, “Dude, c’mon, I didn’t wanna start looking through my dad’s stuff without you. I bet there’s some hella cool shit he would’ve wanted you to have.”

We make our way back down the hall, hand in hand. Urgh…Still feeling a little dizzy, what the hell was that?

Did I…Go back?

No, it was…It was different. I heard it…Saw it, felt it? Like looking through one-way glass. So close, so far away. It was so surreal…Not a dream, and not a vision. Too real, but just distant enough.

I’ve…I’ve gotta be careful. I think I was this close to…Going back.

Not now. Not when I’ve come so far. I’d give anything to see Chloe in an easier time, happy and with her family, but…

I can’t risk screwing this up. I can’t risk losing her.

“Look at all this stuff, dude! Sometimes I forget how cool my dad was.”

Huh what. Agh, I need to pay attention. Where am I? In the garage…There’s David’s work-counter with the cupboards containing all his surveillance stuff. Wowser, I guess that partially caved in ceiling is what’s blocking the door. So much luck that enough of the roof has held up that we can even reach this box. I crouch down next to Chloe, scanning over the contents. It seems…Wrong, to even think about taking any of this stuff. It almost feels like robbing a grave…That doesn’t seem to deter Chloe much, though.

“Nah, I’d never take your stupidly expensive watch, dad,” She murmurs to herself as she sets the silver and black watch back into the box, “Or your so scary-lame dad-like taste in music,” She slides the Bruce Springsteen album CD back into its place. She’s…Talking to William. Should I say something? What can I say? If he’s even in some omniscient state that he could even hear me, he knows what I’ve done.

Let him die when I had the power to stop it.

Screwed around in an existence where he and his family where together.

Then euthanized his own god damn daughter before getting out of dodge. All so I can be with her…

What would he even say to me?

“Yo, Max.”

I shudder my eyes into focus on Chloe. “Sorry uh, I’m being a total airhead.”

I don’t even notice the necklace she’s presenting to me in outstretched palms until she fakely coughs and tips her chin at it. “Dad would’ve wanted you to have this, I think.” I bring my focus to the piece of jewellery’s details. It’s a thin, silver lace with a small butterfly shape of the same colour dotted with tiny blue gemstones attached to it. “He uh, got it for mom ages ago, n’ she wanted to give it back I guess so it’s been collecting dust for like...Well, ever since he left.”

“Chloe…” I almost gasp in disbelief, “I can’t- I don’t think I can take this…What makes you think he’d want me to have it?”

“Uh, doy? Cus I want you to have it, obviously. This isn’t really up for debate, babe.”

The gleaming blue dots twinkling in the light pouring in through the hole in the ceiling drops me into a sort of trance as I stare at it, gobsmacked. Heh…I can never really seem to get away from these things, can I? The butterfly and the doe…What the hell are these things supposed to be? Am I…Supposed to take this necklace?

“Thank you, Chloe,” I hesitate for a second as I softly take and let it hang from my finger in front of my face, “Thank you so much. I…I don’t think I can ever make this up to you.”

Chloe rolls her eyes and returns to scouring through the box, “Oh, save it. I already owe you like, some hella Christmas presents as it is. Though, I will take one ‘I love you’ as payment.”

“I seriously love you.” I slip the necklace over my head, letting it hang around my neck; the butterfly piece dipping just below the collar of my shirt as I beam the widest smile at the punk angel’s pleased grin.

She intakes and releases a pleased sigh and returns her eyes to what may as well be a box of pirate’s booty with how much they gleam. “Never gonna get tired of hearing that. It’s like…The heart fluttering is real, y’know? Like you’re putting a fuckin’ spell on me on someth- Aha! Here it is.”

“What is it?” Chloe’s enthusiasm rubs off on me as I excitedly reply; so much so I feel a little uncomfortable at how zesty I must sound at looting a dead man’s belongings.

“Dad’s wedding ring. I’m pretty sure loads of widows keep their spouse’s ring but…I dunno, I guess mom just didn’t like the idea,” She pockets the simple, thin golden loop after a few seconds of gazing at it, “Kinda shitty we can’t find the opposite piece, but…I guess I’m kinda banking on the fact there’s other stuff I can remember Joyce with.”

Should I…Mention how weird this is? Just how…Chill Chloe is about all of this. It’s…Super unsettling.

No…Internal sigh. Maybe later. She could just be…Putting on a brave face, like I need to ruin it.

She stands up, offering a hand to help me to my feet that I happily accept. “I’m going upstairs. Let’s hope our bony asses are skinny enough the floor won’t collapse, huh?”

“Don’t joke about that, Chloe,” I meaningfully make eye contact, “You know I wouldn’t hesitate to rewind if you got hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah…I’ll be careful.” She waves her hand dismissively, before carefully making her way over all the crap lying on the ground back into main hallway, myself in tow. Chloe lifts herself onto the first step of the staircase as I turn the corner out of the garage; her weight stressing the step enough that a distinctive creaking sound groans from the wood. I’m pretty sure that first step was always kinda wonky, but…It’s worrying nonetheless.

“So,” She routinely tests each step by pressing her foot into it as she rises up the staircase; a precaution I repeat for good measure, “Do you remember that cringe incarnate necklace I made for my mom? On that one mother’s day.”

I nod, lifting my posture slightly to get a peek at the state the second floor is in; with all the books, glass and smashed up ceramic tiles littering the ground, it’s not much better than the rest of the house. “I think so.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m looking for that. Hella shitty for a memento but I can’t think of anything else.”

“No way,” I rise up over the final step, taking a look around the landing, “It’s not shitty, it was so sweet of you. I still remember us working together to make it…”

“God, you’re a nerd.”

I scoff at the comment, following Chloe as she opens the door into what was once Joyce and David’s bedroom. Huh…The wall facing the back yard is still intact. I guess maybe the glass sliding door on the ground floor just made that one weaker? I dunno…This room in general seems to be in decent shape, at least when compared to everything else. The usual suspects are here; clothes and other stuff littering the floor, that Chloe promptly gets to scouring through on her knees as we enter the room. I look to the cabinet in the corner of the room; a shift in glance Chloe mimics. No mothers’ day gift there…

“C’mon…It’s gotta be here! Max, can you try and find something David-related? Hell if I’ve got any ideas.”

I nod to her as she digs through a pile- well, more of an ocean of clothes. Uh...Crap, not like I knew David any better…Umm…

Ehm…

Hm.

Oh! Dog tags! They’re sentimental, right? And I seem to remember him keeping them in here…In the bedside cabinet, right? I sheepishly approach the overturned piece of furniture in question, its drawers broken and hanging off the side; even when it’s desolate and deserted, I’m still uncomfortable as hell hanging around someone else’s room when they’re not around.

Though, I guess that doesn’t really stop me from snooping through their belongings, ahah.

…I think they call that hypocrisy.

I crouch down, lifting what looks like a small scrapbook from the pile of stuff leaking out of the cabinet. Flipping it open to the first page reveals…Huh, it’s a picture of David; looks like it’s from his time in the military, since he’s wearing his fatigues and holding a rifle against his chest with desert sands and a harsh sunlight as the backdrop.

Next page…It’s another photo of him dressed the same way, with what I assume are three friends in similar attire, all smiling for the camera. One of them is making a pair of bunny ears with his fingers over David’s head and blowing a raspberry. It’s…Strange. I can’t seem to remember ever seeing David smiling…Let alone so happily and beamingly like he is in this picture. There’s a message and a couple of signatures scrawled in the bottom right corner of the photo that reads _“Davey – See you soon in the good old US of A! Jason/Paul/George”_

I hastily flick through the rest of the scrapbook, skimming over more photos similar to the first two until I find what looks like a journal entry.

_Psychiatrist said it might be a good idea to put my thoughts on paper. Never kept a diary before, never seen the point…Got my brain for a reason - though, I’m starting to question even that._

_It’s lonely here, back in Arcadia Bay. The guys and I have kept to our promise pretty well so far; a conference call every Saturday, to keep us from growing distant in any way. Been thinking about visiting Portland one of these days, but…_

_Nah. Don’t think dad would even give much of a damn that I’m back safe and sound, even now._

_I’ve applied for a security position at the local art school. I imagine it’ll be easy enough - just a bunch of privileged kids to keep under control. Confiscating pot and breaking up fistfights should be a far cry from the Middle East. Psychiatrist said it’s an admirable idea; keep me focused, do some good - for a change._

There’s more entries after that but…This really isn’t any of my business. I set the scrapbook down – more respectfully and carefully than is necessary for an inanimate object – and resume my search.

I wonder what David’s story was. I imagine he’d seen so many things…Done so many things that neither me or Chloe would be able to even comprehend going through.

I hope Chloe can learn to respect who he was. Or at least…Who I learned that he was in the short time I knew him. He…Really was trying to do the right thing all along, and neither of us gave him the chance…

Ah! Here they are. I take the pair of steel dog tags, engraved with David’s full name, his blood type, social security number and ‘NO PREFERENCE’ written on the bottom.

“Chloe, I think I found something.” Approaching her, I present the tags to Chloe as she fumbles off of all fours onto her knees.

“Jesus Max, you’re a total wizard. Did you read my mind or some shit? Rewind shenanigans?”

I shake my head, taking on a grimmer tone than I intend. “No way. You know I can’t abuse my power…I haven’t used it once since the storm.”

Taking the trinkets, Chloe shrugs, stuffs them in her pockets and returns to her combing of the floor. “Well, thanks girl. This is literally like, the exact thing I was looking for, besides this damn necklace…”

“Any luck?”

“Nadda,” She sighs, “Can’t find it _anywhere_ in this tip. Fuuuuuck…I’m getting kinda worried it might be lost.”

“It’s gotta be here, Chloe,” I jump to respond, “There’s no way it could’ve blown away in the storm since the walls and door are all still up.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Chloe lowers her posture even further, ducking her head underneath the double bed in the middle of the room, “Dude, your detective prowess is literally a super power in itself.”

I brush off the compliment with a chuckle and survey the room. Why is Chloe so…Jolly? We’re literally hunting trinkets to remember her recently deceased parents that I’m technically responsible for the death for, and she’s acting and talking like it’s an Easter Egg hunt…

It’s seriously eerie.

I guess…Not very many things make much sense, right now. I’ll just have to hope things can go back to normal once we’re in Seattle. I’ll finish school, Chloe will find a job or, heck, maybe even get back into education with me. And vacations! Portland, Paris…Maybe with mom and dad backing us up, the world is our oyster.

‘Leeching off your parents for some free fuck-time with the punk. Typical.’

I mean, I guess that’s what **she** would say. Hm.

 **She’s** still…Quiet. Well, silent is a better word. Maybe she’s gone? Or…Maybe she never existed and it was just some…Mental trauma crap. Maybe being unconscious gave my brain a chance to put everything back in its place; I guess all the rewinding could’ve misplaced some things.

Or…I don’t fucking know.

“Yes! Holy shit, amazeballs!” I’m dragged from my thoughts by Chloe’s borderline squeal of excitement and sigh of relief, “Found it, Max! Fuck…Too much stress. Hella stress.” She pulls herself out from under the bed, to which I greet her static-induced messy hair and triumphant smile with one of my own.

“Whew,” I offer a hand and drag her to her feet off her back as she gleefully holds lets the oversized wooden trinket dangle from her hand, “That’s a relief. That’s so cool, though…She kept it.”

“Well, duh,” Chloe walks out the door and puts on a posh voice, myself in tow behind her, “Our craftsmanship is of the highest tier, dear Maxine. Who would ever want to forget the sheer quality of our work?” She trails off, losing the playful disposition; my own grin dropping as her tone dips, “Mom never forgot. Yeah…Never forgot anything.”

“Chloe?” I rest a hand on her shoulder as we enter her room, the silence that ensues leaving a certain chill down my spine.

It…Hasn’t changed. Not at all. Maybe it’s because Chloe’s bedroom was already a tip before the storm hit it, but just…Everything seems so…In place. In place out of place, as she put it. Chloe steps forward and slumps onto her bed as I take in the familiar sights. It feels so…Fresh in my mind. I mean, of course it does, it’s Chloe’s room! But…I feel like…Hm.

“We’ll never forget, will we, Max?”

I fall onto my behind next to her at the edge of the bed, leaning my weight against her. Resting my head on her shoulder and reaching an arm across her torso, I nod. “Never.”

It’s…A ghostly reminder, that word. A rewind of its’ own, I guess, to the last time I said it to Chloe in this house. I’ve tried to avoid thinking about the…What do I call them? Other timelines? And…I’m gonna try and avoid it a little longer.

…

…...

Do they still exist? Do they…Already exist, or do I create them? Do they stop existing? What even…Fucking…Is existing if everything that possibly can happen just happens anyway? Should I even care to begin with…? It’s not like…It affects me or anyone around me or anything, like…Literally, it doesn’t.

Ugh. This is the kind of crap Warren would be able to make sense of.

“Y’know,” Chloe pats a hand on my lap as she releases a sigh, “This is probs the weirdest part about coming back. Just like…This shithole, y’know? My shithole.”

“I can imagine. Er, well…I can’t imagine. I-I mean, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, Chloe.” Crap, I botched that. Focus, damnit! Stop…Worrying about stuff that doesn’t even matter!

“Urgh, fuck,” Chloe’s voice cracks for a second there as she intakes a large breath, “Fuck. I think I’m breaking down now.”

I whisper a sort of…Half-word “Ah?” thing. Like, as if to ask her what she means, but to also keep quiet in case I say something dumb.

“Fuck, Max,” She ruffles her face into my hair, but…Not in a cuddly way. It’s an ‘I’m ashamed of everything ever and maybe if I hide my face it’ll all go away god damnit it’s not working’ kind of gesture. “Thought I’d put all this shit behind me. Thought I didn’t need anything else but it’s just been…Eating away at me all day.”

Oh, no…What do I say? She’s sounding worse every second with how much she’s choking up those whimpers.

“Chloe…Tell me what’s wrong.” Did I sound too demanding? I think I did, damnit.

“Coming back here, dude!” She cries out, barely regaining her composure after a choked sob, “I’m half-expecting mom to call out ‘dinner’s ready’ or David to shout about finding my stash or some shit! Or…Not expecting, fucking…Hoping.”

“Chloe” is all I can manage to say. That seems to be becoming a habit…As if just mumbling her name is gonna do anything.

“I thought I had everything I needed with you, Max. Or…I guess I was just hoping I did. Yeah, hoping. It’s eh…Kinda why I’ve been so upbeat, I guess. But…”

I hum in understanding to fill the silence as she finds the words to continue. She seems to be getting a hold of herself again...Let’s just hope I don’t say anything stupid and tip her over the edge.

“Fuck it, I’m just gonna say it. You fucked up, Max.”

Wha-

“No, fuck. Fuck! That’s not how it…We fucked up. I’m not…I’m not supposed to fuckin’ be here! Mom n’ David should be! But instead I god damn…Pressured you into making the fucking…Worst decision anyone could possibly-“

“Chloe,” I say sternly, grasping her hand in mine, “Stop it.”

She sputters the beginning of another exclaimed ramble before, after some hesitation releases a heavy sigh. “You know I’m not supposed to be here, Max. We can’t…We can’t ignore or…Or run away from that.”

“I don’t care.”

Wait, did I just say that? It…It is how I feel but, crap…I should’ve said something less arrogant and callous than that. Damnit…

“And I’m sorry,” I continue, picking up the pieces to try and turn that comment into something meaningful, “I-I wish your parents could be here, and everyone else. I’m not even gonna begin to deny I made a bad choice but…I just don’t care. I’ll pick you every time, Chloe, it’s just…Not possible for me to do it any other way.”

“Fucking…God damnit.” She takes hold of another breath to stabilise her waning voice, “Leave it to you to turn shit into gold.”

“I think it’s still just shit.” I intend for that to come out as more of a funny comment to raise our spirits, but the deadpan tone I take is a clear reminder of how much I’ve fucked everything up.

Chloe gently falls onto her back, taking me with her as we both reposition into a soft cuddle. “Yeah, Shit. Shitty. Shittastic. Everything, right? Arcadia Bay, time travel, Blackwell Academy, hurricane bullshit…”

“Yeah, I bet that’s what they’re gonna call it on the news; Hurricane Bullshit.”

Chloe giggles so genuinely and sweetly at that dumb joke, pulling me in so tightly that my face is stuffed against her neck. “I’m _so_ insane.”

I laugh as uncomfortably as I feel at Chloe’s second bizarre mood swing of the, er, minute. “I’m pretty sure everything’s just crazy.”

“Nono,” She leaves an audible smooch on my forhead, “ _I’m_ crazy. _Because_ …Everything’s crazy? I’ve like, literally lost my mom and my dad; twice! And-“

“It’s my fault.” I interject grimly.

“No, no, fuck. _Fuck…_ Fuck, didn’t want to put it like that, but…Fuckidy fuckiroo, not important. Point is!” Chloe leaves another kiss above my eyebrows, making this ‘unnervingly happy’ tone we’ve got going even more…Er, unnervingly happy, “Point is, I don’t give a _fuck._ But I…Want to give a fuck? Because I feel obligated to since they’re my damn parents? I mean, _seriously._ ”

“Chloe-“ I gasp her name, caught between bewilderment and a gross feeling of guilt, “I don’t…I dunno what to say.”

“ _You_ don’t have to say anything, Maxirino. Just let _me_ spew the rest of this shit, m’kay?” I nod obediently as this madwoman continues, “Anyway. I’ve decided I’m _not_ going to care about all the shit that’s happened. I’ve got my Max, and that’s all I want. Don’t give a _flying fuck_ how shit of a person I am for not giving a _flying fuck_ about mom, dad, or David, or Arcadia Bay, or… _Anything._ ”

An awkward silence falls upon us. Do I talk now? Chloe’s just...Nuzzling her face against my hair, releasing a relieved sigh. There’s this…Horrible pressure in my chest and throat, like I’m about to start crying at just…The sheer volume of crap Chloe just threw out there. I can tell she’s been conflicted about this…And she’s picked me in this mess of moral dilemma.

“W-Wowser, Chloe, I-I…I don’t, I-“

“Don’t say a fuckin’ thing. Don’t have to. Just wanted you to know how I feel about shit.” Chloe apparently exhaled her cheeriness with that sigh as her voice has turns low and solemn.

I can’t just…Say nothing though, can I? I owe Chloe…Something; some semblance of opinion on the matter, some kind of…Reassurance in her emotional state.

“I seriously love you.” I murmur against her neck. Chloe hums approvingly as I close my eyes, finally relaxing the tension that’s been coursing through my body since we sat on her bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: next up...I still dunno. From Max waking up I'm making this up as I go along, mostly because the next chapter or two will be devoted entirely to bringing closure to stuff from the game.  
> so uh. next up, closure
> 
> I also want to apologise for taking longer to write than I usually do. As I said, I'm making this up as I go along from here on out to a point; for pretty much everything leading up to Max waking from her coma I had a plan for it, but not so much now.
> 
> I should also give a heads up; we are nearing the end of "act one" of this fic, and come the beginning of act two I think I'll be taking a pretty long break from writing. Firstly because I'm just plain running out of ideas and motivation, and secondly because I seriously need to plan out the second half of the fic; I'm hoping to have it be an entirely new story with new characters and crazy plot twists and all that, with an emphasis on hoping.
> 
> Anyways, with that, thank you so much for reading this far. I know I sound grim, but I still love Life is Strange, writing this fic and of course, these lesbians.
> 
> EDIT 22/04/2017 SORRY I'VE BEEN DEAD I JUST BOUGHT MY GRAVE AND IT'S SURPRISINGLY REALLY COMFY SO I MIGHT'VE OVERSLEPT.
> 
> I'm back. Sort of. I friggin' hate writing this next chapter. Not in that way - I will never stop loving these lesbians nor this fanfiction, but just...  
> God.
> 
> I have no idea what should happen next lmao.


	14. A Dinosaur and an Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HERE.  
> FINALLY IT'S HERE.

“Hey, Chloe?”

I ever so slightly turn my neck away from facing the road to just about catch Max’s cute-ass face in the corner of my eye. “Yo.”

“Where’d you get this old truck, anyways?”

Huh. Where _did_ I get- Aaaah, I remember.

Do I? The last two weeks _do_ feel like they could be like, my entire damn life to be fair.

Nah, nah, I remember.

“Sixteenth birthday, methinks? Yeah, sixteenth. Legal age to drive. Makes sense. David knew a guy to get the car, mom set me up with lessons- Hah, pretty sure the exact thing I said on seeing this hunk’a crap was ‘seriously?’”

Yeah, I remember…

…

_Birthday blaze, or keep it sober? Birthday blaze, keep it sober? Hm…Half-blaze could work, getting pretty good at hiding it…Ah, shit, the smell, though. Doubt the ‘drown myself in deodorant’ trick’ll work twice on step-douche._

_Hohohomygod. Rachel’s gonna lose her shit when I pull up at Blackwell in my **own** car. Screw you, school bus! I got my **own** wheels now! We don’t abide by your asshole timetable anymore! Another hour or two sleeping in? Hell yes._

_Oh, shit. Is that- ohgodohgodohgod I can’t believe I have to say ‘thank you’ to step-ass of all people…Totally worth it!_

_Poke my head out the window…Wait, what the fuck is-_

_“Oh, uh- Ahem. Happy birthday, Chloe. Now, I know we haven’t always gotten along- or…Ever, for that matter, but in the relatively short time I’ve been with your mother and you, I’ve really come to respect who you are; tough, reliable, independent, able to take care’a yourself…And maybe a little loud at times. This vehicle’s recognition of that, proof that y’are who y’are. So…Happy birthday.”_

**_“Seriously?”_ **

...

Max laughs a cautious giggle, pulling me out of my reminiscing. “Well…I like your car.”

I shrug; it’s a pretty weak shrug, but I’ve gotta keep my grip on the wheel, here. “S’alright, yeah. David always told me-“ I use my pinky fingers for the lamest airquotes ever, “-‘she’s’ tough; never believed him until some idiot rammed the front of me…Poor bastard did more damage to himself than…Than-“

 “Max?” I pat a hand on her lap as the patented deer in headlights stare turns my way, “Still with me? _Please_ still be with me, babe.”

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, it’s just- the thought of you being hurt…Were you hurt?”

Thank Jeebus above. My hand stays on Max’s leg, though; as if to be her tether to this realm or some shit. “Nah, nah. Even the guy that hit me was outta the hospital in a month. And the best part? _Not my fault._ ” I grin an evil grin that only I can manage at the idea of ‘winning’ in a car accident.

Max just breathes a “heh” and sets her hand on mine. So, it’s like a double sided tether now; no way is she jumping timelines without takin’ me with her.

“So...When’re we leaving town?”

“Soonish?” She extends the ‘oo’ awkwardly.

“Why so soonish?” I ask, emphasizing the ‘why’.

“I’ve still gotta check in with Warren and Kate, Chloe.”

“Oh,” I stutter abruptly, “Huh, okay I guess.”

Fuckin’ hell. Can’t we just get outta this shithole already? Throw me a bone here, Max…

“Is…That okay?” She hovers between a tone of offense and politeness.

“Eh?” It being kind of not okay, I take a second to fully process what Max even said, “Oh, right, yeah. No, yeah, that’s cool. They’re your dudebros after all. Shouldn’t take too long anyway, right?”

“I guess.” She shifts her attention to the window and the endless line of collapsed buildings and smashed up vehicles  as a pause falls upon us. Eh, shit…Should probs fill the silence with something; think I might’ve sounded like a bit of a dick for a sec there. Em…

“What’s the big city like, anyways?” I half-heartedly ask. Don’t even really give much of a shit about Seattle itself, just the fact I’ll _finally_ be somewhere that isn’t Arcadia Bay. Plus, Max; Max is friggin’ nice bonus.

“I uh, hah-“ Max clears her throat and chuckles, “I dunno, actually.”

Huh, didn’t expect that. It’s a pretty specific answer to the kinda question you usually just reply to with a ‘S’alright’ kind of thing. “That’s…Weird, babe.” I mutter, turning my head slightly so Max can see my raised eyebrow to properly emphasize my weirded-out-ness.

“Yeah, uh, I dunno what to tell you, to be honest. I uh, guess I just kinda…Never found out?”

Shit, dude. Is this a conversation forming here? “Huh…You’d think that’d just come naturally from, y’know… _Living there_.” I force a laugh to draw attention away from how I rudely emphasize the last bit.

“I uh…I guess I changed a lot when we left,” Max mumbles after a moment of hesitation, “Er, I mean, I was always a total recluse anyway, ‘cept when we were hanging out.”

I look for something meaningful to respond with as I see exactly where the conversation is going. Stupid asshole words are hard though, so a sighed “Yeah” is all that comes out.

“So I just kinda…Holed up in a bubble; didn’t really go outside anymore unless it was school. Heh…I uh, got super into playing MMO games for a while with all the free time I had.”

“Nerd.” The smile on my face is wider than I intend it to be, and shows no sign of pursing as images of Max as a cute elf in whatever fantasy setting settle in. With the pointy ear tips just barely poking through her hair? Too adorbz. She’d probably be a wizard or a mage, I’m thinking. I mean, the time travel is a magic spell in itself, _and_ she’s an ubergeek, so…

Huh, there’s the emergency camp. I begin to slow the car as we approach, pulling in to the side of the road. “So,” I break the brief silence as I drop down the gears, “You must’ve met some new peeps though, right?”

By the time Max musters up a reply, the car has come to a stop barely down the street away from the cluster of tents. “Well, no,” she shakes her head, “I didn’t.”

Oh, shit. My surprise gets ever so slightly voiced as I quietly breath, “Oh.”

“Hah,” she flicks a finger across her cheekbone, “I guess I really needed you around to have the confidence to socialise…I mean-” she sighs, pushing a hand through her fringe before the hair flops back onto her forehead, even messier than it was before, “That’s…Not really the reason. I um, I didn’t really want to make new friends. Mom n’ dad always said I was just being sentimental but I wanted-“ She releases another breath of air, as if to cool off the red flushing up her face, “Well, y’know. I just wanted you back.”

Switching the engine key to the off position, I unfasten my safety belt (Max keeps hers on, for some reason) and lean my back against the window to properly face the passenger side. “…Damn. I always thought that you would’ve, well…Moved on.”

“No way, I never forgot about you, Chloe. The idea of ‘replacing’ you felt so gross…”

And there’s the awkward, contemplative silence. You know, the one where Chloe finds even more reasons that she’s an asshole. I scoot across the leather seating, outstretching my arms to just do… _Something._ I kinda wanna ask why she didn’t think to write or send a text in those years if she missed me so much, but fuck if this is the time or the place.

Max smiles, fumbles out of her own safety belt and leans into my torso, humming a pleased sound as my arms wrap around her body. “Sorry again,” I shyly whisper, “For y’know. Being an asshole.”

Jesus. I think I’m desensitized to the scent of sweat and shit at this point, because Max’s hoodie is _fucking saturated_ in it, and I know I’m hella worse with all the bleeding I’ve been doing as my eyes are drawn to the reddened wraps and bandages on my arms. Heh, wonder how I’m gonna explain this one to Vanessa n’ Ryan.

Man, they’re gonna freak so much…If Nessie is as overbearing as I remember, it’s gonna be a nightmare finding cuddle time with Maxi-pad.

Hah, oh, shit. We haven’t even planned out how we’re gonna break it to ‘em. ‘By the way, I made your daughter gay’ would be amazeballs.

Or…Maybe she already was and they all knew it anyway? Would explain all the Warren friendzoning.

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. I’m a prick.

“Fuggin’…Typical of me, right? Just wanted to have _someone_ so I wouldn’t be alone, and along you come and I’m still bitching and guilt-tripping you. Hah, you’d think-“

“Chloe,” Max whimpers, nuzzling her cheek against my shoulder, “Please, just forget about it. It was hard for us both when I left, neither of us were happy with it…But that crap doesn’t matter anymore, alright?”

Shit, is she crying? Or, well, almost? Alright, alright, just drop it. Stop…Self-loathing. Not my strong suit, but I’ll make the effort.

Guess we’ll just chill here a while until she calms down. Would look pretty weird if she turned up to her friends all choked up n’ shit.

“Thanks,” I worm a hand onto and along Max’s arm to intertwine my bruised fingers with hers. “For helping me today. Don’t think I would’ve made it through my house- Hah, what’s left of it- without you.”

“Are you okay?” Max tilts her head to face my neck, like she’s finding an inbetween of facing me but also stuffing her body against mine, “For real. I can’t stop thinking about what you told me, Chlo; about Joyce and David.”

Letting loose a groan (it’d be helluvalot easier to put this shit behind us if we stopped _talking_ about it) I shrug the shoulder Max’s head isn’t resting on, “Egh, well. It’s not like I’ve just _gotten over_ it. But I’m not gonna…Dwell on it, ya know? Or…I’m gonna try not to. Whatever fucking…Omniscient asshole that decides what the consequences are for using your power can have his laughs, right? We’re in this shit heap deep, and I don’t…Don’t want you getting hurt any more trying to fix my fuck ups.” I exhale a bated breath, the reprieve it brings being way too short. “Way I see it, you made the choice that’d make you the happiest you could be, right? It’s not like I’d have much to worry about otherwise since I’d be, y’know. Super dead.”

“Y-Yeah,” Max lowly whines, “There’s been a few times where I wonder if I’d be happier if I did…The right thing, but-“ Max breaks the embrace we’ve been holding, making meaningful and corny as shit eye contact, “-I would just think about…The week we had together and how…How much it helped  you and…If I just reverted it none of that would matter and-“ At this point, She’s breaking down into tears for reals, “-And you’d just…Die, sad and alone, in that fucking bathroom, and you’d never…Never know how much I care, Chloe. I couldn’t-“ Gasping on her words, Max manages to force some air out of her throat that vaguely sounds like human speech, “Couldn’t live with that.” She stuffs her face onto my collarbone, sniffling and wiping her eyes against my shirt (which isn’t something I’d recommend as there’s probably a risk of freaking pinkeye at this point.)

Shit though, I never thought of it like that. All that time we spent together – It’d only be real for _her_ ; which just leads into its own mess of shit she’s had to deal with that I guess I’ll never really understand.

“Hey, hey-“ I find Max’s now-damp cheeks with my palms, gently coercing her to show me those eyes again, “It’s cool, dude. C’mon…”

Closing her eyes and forcing her grief back down, Max exhales. “Can we go to the memorial service, tomorrow?”

Oh for fuc-

Aggghhhhhhh whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I just wanna get outta-

Fuggin’ fuggidy fug fack.

Am I frowning in disappointment? Frown check…Nope. Damn I’m good at this poker face shit.

“Yeah, I guess.” I make an effort to sound as unenthusiastic as possible even as I smile, really emphasizing the ‘I’ll do it because it’s you’.

“Sorry.” Her head trails off to the side, “I know you’re sick of-“

“Seriously babe,” I say firmly, “If you wanna go, we’ll go. It’s cool. End of story. For realises.” I top it off by delivering a confident, playful smirk as Max’s own lips lift into a smile of her own.

“Thanks.” Max plants presses a smooch to my cheek.

“Jeez, dude. If that’s what it takes to get ya’ to peck my face like a bird, how am I gonna convince you to have makeout sessions when we run the risk of your folks walkin’ in on us?”

“Oh god,” Proving her adorbzness once more, Max shields her face from the shame, “I don’t even wanna think about that scenario. I think I’d die from embarrassment; no hyperbole, literally dead on the ground from sheer humiliation.”

Ah, damnit. Speaking of shame, Max actually just made me snort in laughter at the thought of that. I snicker and add to the ‘what-if’ we’ve got going on here in a mocking voice. “’Girls, dinner’s read- Oh my god!’” I clutch my chest and reach for the air with my free hand dramatically, “‘Damnit mom! Why…Didn’t…You…Knock!’ And suddenly, heart attack!”

Aaaah. That giggle Max just did – perf. She also gives me another kiss – to the lips, which is P. cool. “God, you’re an idiot.” And then another lip prod, Chloe likey. “C’mon…Kate and I promised Warren we’d watch a cruddy B-movie one last time.”

Heheh, I’m still caught on that amazeballsingly precious laugh she just- Wait, what? B-movies? Seriously? With Warber? _And_ Angel? So I can’t even go touchy feely on Max once I’m bored. I mean, I _could,_ but even I’ve got my limits on how much of an asshole I can be.

“Oh, awesome.” I mumble, clicking open the car door.

* * *

 

This movie is…

Weird.

“Wait, hold the fuck up a second.” Chloe shifts her neck to give Warren the most confused and bewildered expression I think I’ll ever see on a person. “I think I zoned out for…An entire movie. So the asshole guy sic’d a lion on the main guy and now…There’s a dinosaur?”

Warren rolls his eyes and groans, leaning forward and resting his elbows against his knees. “C’mon, dude. Are you even watching the movie? The scientist took the main guy’s brain from his corpse and put it in the dinosaur.”

Chloe outstretches her arms in frantic question, “Where the hell’d he get a dinosaur!?”

Warren shrugs. “He found it. Or made it.”

While I can’t really tell if Chloe’s even enjoying this, Warren seems to be. I can’t shake the feeling that the storm’s…Changed him, though. Not just with all that scarring he’s picked up, but like…On the inside, too.

Like he’s been forced to grow up past his age.

I shift my view to Kate, sitting so politely and properly in that red plastic garden chair. “What do you think?” I bluntly ask. I don’t even realise how vague and out of context the question is until after I’ve asked it but I can never tell if Kate likes or doesn’t like something with how…Contemplative she always looks.

“I never knew films like this could even exist.” She smiles an awkward smile, “But then again, I usually only watch movies if it’s with my sisters, so…”

Resetting his position and leaning back into his own chair, Warren takes on the ‘moany’ tone I’ve come to associate with him. “Man, there’s so much golden crap you guys have gotta see. Killer Workout, Hard Ticket to Hawaii…Samurai Cop! Damn! I wish I’d found my USB…”

“No way am I binging through a whole night of this shit,” Chloe shoots down Warren’s plans with a damn mortar,  “My brain hurts as it is.”

I’ve half a mind to give Chloe a quiet scolding in the form of a wrist squeeze to get her attention and a stern look with all this swearing she’s doing in front of poor Kate, but the sweet giggle that emanates from the blonde girl at all this bickering prompts more of a loving smile when I take hold of Chloe’s hand. “Thanks, for this.” I say lowly, feeling a little sheepish about showing some affection so openly, “Just wanted to check, though…Are you enjoying this?”

Chloe scoots her chair over even closer to mine than it already was, steadily throwing any plans of subtlety I had out the window, “Uh, yes?” She rhetorically whispers, “This shit is hella dumb and I love it. Kinda wish the TV wasn’t from the fuggin’ stone age, though…I know, I know, it probably wasn’t easy for Warber to find one intact to begin with.”

I arch an eyebrow, briefly looking across from Chloe to check if the other two can hear us…Doesn’t look like it; not yet, anyway. We’re kinda lucky that this part of the movie is pretty noisy with how the dinosaur keeps attacking people. “That’s a nickname, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Chloe shrugs, “Just trying it out; I am the resident cocksure prick of the group, so I’m obligated to give everyone a demeaning nickname. Katie is Angel, by the way.”

“Cute.” I remark, shifting my attention back to the tiny box TV on a coffee table. What’s happening? The main guy’s a dinosaur now and he’s looking for his girlfriend? I don’t get it…Huh, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the actress who plays the girl from somewhere…

Mm. Chloe’s brushing her fingers across my palm, back and forth.  I return the gesture, poking at the heel of her hand. Is this gonna turn into a weird game? How much lovey dovey crap can we get away with before everyone else notices and the whole situation turns really awkward?

Damnit, I don’t even know if Warren knows. We definitely told Kate…I think? No, yeah, we did, and she’s majorly cool with it which is a bonus.

I guess he could’ve figured it out with how obsessive Chloe and I are with each other. Warren may seem dim-witted and unaware, but he _is_ basically the smartest person I know…

“Wait, what the hell-“ Chloe pulls me out of my thoughts with another interjection towards the movie, “So if he’s tryna’ find his woman…As a dinosaur…Why’s he gotta kill so many random passers by?”

“I think it’s nice.” All eyes shift to Kate in anticipation for her to explain _that_ point of view. “I-I mean, I think so. Because even now all he cares about is his sweetheart, right?”

“Except for all the murder, anyway.” Warren joins in on the conversation, nodding his head in sarcastic agreement, earning a snicker and a sheepish shrug from Chloe and Kate, respectively.

When you think about it, the movie _is_ kinda…Fucked up. He’s killing _a lot_ of people…

Just so he can _maybe_ get back with his girlfriend. What a classic story…

I mean, I guess I can relate.

I’ve killed a lot of people, too.

Just so I can _maybe_ be happy with Chloe.

Whoa. Fuck. No, no. Where the hell did that even come from-

Just for a second.

It must have been **her.**

I swear I heard her.

Nononono.

Everything’s stopping.

Everyone’s gone.

They’re just statues now.

She’s _not_ ruining this, not now.

You’re not ruining this!

Leave me alone.

**LEAVE ME ALONE.**

Leave us both alone.

…

Quiet.

It’s just me.

Good…

Gotta…Find my senses and spacial awareness again…I think.

There’s nothing…

Feels like a rewind, but it just…Stopped.

Warren’s frozen mid-chuckle at how stupid the violence onscreen is.

Kate is wincing in discomfort, covering her eyes.

There’s a bunch of indentations in the tent fabric from the wind outside.

What’s the movie stopped at? Ew…Dinosaur main guy’s clutching another guy’s head in its jaws.

Chloe’s fingers are stroking in circles and lines against my skin-

There.

There she is.

I clench her hand and the shock feels like a car crash as I’m flung back into the flow of time.

Or…Did I fling time back into its normal flow?

“Oh no! I forgot about this part; Kate, cover your sacred, untainted eyes…And ears!”

Noise noise noise noise sexy music? Gross moaning _what the fuck is even happening_

“Dude,” Chloe’s voice gotta get these damn eyelids out of the way where is-

There.

“You seeing this? This shit just got _hella_ weird and I think I like it.”

Egh. Rub, rub, rub my eyes, wipe away all this blurry crap. Like wiping rain off a windscreen that just keeps coming back and obscuring my view.

Like wading through storm and wreckage, watching everyone die around me.

I can just rewind, though. Make it like it didn’t happen. Make everything okay.

_Well, except me, anyway._

_I still can't see past that windscreen._

_I wipe one torrent of water droplets away, and another assault fills the gaps._

_Blurring everything in front of me._

_And sooner or later I'm gonna miss a turn or hit a wall that I couldn't even see._

“Maxie?” Chloe’s still waiting for me to speak she sounds so scared-

“Wha- O-Oh, crap, sorry-” Find the words make the words just say something normal “-I think I zoned out-“ Look at the TV pretend you know what’s going on what was the movie again?

There was…A lion, an asshole, a woman who couldn’t act, and…A dinosaur?

Now there’s…A brain in a jar, hooked up to a bunch of wires. Well, half a jar; you’d think it’d be dangerous for the top half of it to be exposed like that. There’s also…Wait, the girlfriend woman is giving the brain a striptease? And the brain is…

Augh. Gross.

This movie is…

Weird.

Chloe’s talking to Warren, now. “Well, Warber, I think I can safely say this movie’s redeemed itself. It was a bumpy ride, but in the end, I got to watch a brain get off to Denise Richards dancing as crappily as she acts.”

Warren’s got this smug grin on from Chloe’s praise and Kate just looks…Lost. I speak up, forcing the strength in my vocal cords to kind of form a sentence. “W-Wowser, ahah- Weird stuff, huh, Kate?”

“Not listening, not listening! Lalala!” Ahah, wow. She really is covering her ears and closing her eyes…Not in like, an uncomfortable way, more like she’s playing along with the joke. Jeez…I hope I don’t look too out of it. No one seems to notice- Well, Chloe’s giving me _the_ look; the ‘I know something’s up’ look.

“I’m okay,” I keep my voice hushed, “For realises.”

“For realises?”

“For realises,” Urgh, there’s the light-headedness. “I…Think.”

Damnit, now we’ve caught everyone else’s attention. What bullshit excuse to appear normal am I gonna use this time?

“She’s just tired out, y’know?” Oh my god thank you Chloe you lifesaver.

“Y-Yeah uh,” I brush the back of my hand across my forehead, picking up a bead of sweat I didn’t even realise was there, “Guess I’m still feeling out of it. I’m okay though, guys, for reals.”

Ugh, god. Everyone’s eyes are on me now. Chloe’s hand running in circles around my back is nice but I’m feeling…Super attacked right now. Gotta shift the conversation…

“What’re your guys’ plans?” I blurt out, “We’re going to the memorial service tomorrow, so that’s…Cool. Right?” What am I even saying my head still feels like it’s in an alternate universe aaaghhhh.

“Oh, that’s great!” Kate beams, “You’ll get to meet my dad, then.”

I return her smile without a word and give an inquiring look in Warren’s direction.

“Yeah, sames.” He says bluntly.

“Cool, cool.” I go on, hoping to just keep talking so maybe everyone’ll stop looking so concerned for me, “Uhhhhhow’s Brooke?”

Damnit, Warren’s giving me the widened eyes. “Issshe okay?” I tack on a moment later.

“If by ‘okay’ you mean a pain in my ass then yeah,” Warren groans in jest, before putting on a serious voice. “We’re…Just figuring out what we’re gonna do with ourselves.”

“What about her parents?” Brooke never told me much about herself, come to think of it. Then again, I don’t think we were ever _technically_ friends. Or…We could have been? I mean, she still gives Warren crap even as they’re dating-not-dating, so I’d hate to see how she talks to her _enemies._

“Yeah, they were on some…Business thing innnnn…Eurrooope? Somewhere in Europe, yeah. Turns out crossing half the globe on a day’s notice is hard, so…She’s stuck with me a couple days.”

Uuugh I’m so gonna regret asking this.

“What about _you?”_

Warren pauses, eyes trailing off to the ground. He sighs, shrugging. “She’s offered for me to go with her for a while. Uh, emo family issues on my end complicate things so…Yeah. I gotta get used to sleeping on the couch.”

I consider pushing the conversation further, comparing the politeness/snoopiness ratio of asking about the Graham family. Urghh…Just this once, Max Caulfield, let it go.

I instinctively switch my view to Chloe, like it’s some kind of check-in; just to make sure she’s still there, make sure I haven’t inexplicably changed timelines. But no, she’s here. I follow her tattooed arm down to her hand, gripping mine as tightly as I remember she was a minute ago. Or…Half a movie ago.

Kinda weird I couldn’t just feel that.

How long was I...Somewhere else, anyway?

I wonder if this is how people feel after getting out of a cryogenics pod in all those sci-fi movies. Close your eyes...And a second later, you’re on the other side of the universe, a thousand years in the future…

It looks like the VHS has…Run through its tape? Jesus…How To Tell if You’re Young 101, by Maxine Caulfield: don’t even know the proper terminologies for anything from before 2009. Chloe slowly stands up, gently nudging me to follow suite as she tugs on my hand. “Thanks, dude,” She sort of looks in Warren’s direction, but it’s pretty clear she feels kinda…Awkward making eye contact with him, “That was actually P. cool. Be kind and rewind or whatever though, right?”

I stand up with Chloe, non-chalantly wriggling out of her grasp. Even if Warren knows…It would just feel so wrong to be so…Open. At least now, anyway. In my head it’s almost like…Taunting him.

“C’mon, do you really think anyone else will _ever_ wanna watch _this_ crap?” I lowly chuckle at Warren’s remark, which Chloe quickly retorts. “Y’never know dude, that last scene…There’s a lotta people into some _really_ messed up shit.”

I trail off from the two as Warren remarks, “Touche” and they both begin shit-talking the film. Approaching Kate, (who has been remarkably quiet ever since the credits rolled) I warmly smile, taking on the slightly higher pitched and careful tone that just…Naturally comes when I speak to her. “Hey, Kate. Ehm…Hah, what’d you think?”

She looks up at me, smiling back; which is a very, very good sign. “It was nice.”

I chuckle, stuffing a hand into my pocket. “Hahah- I uh, I hope you’re not talking about the movie…”

“Mm,” She nods, “Max, I haven’t...Just spent time with people in so…E-Ever since the Vortex Club.”

“Oh.” I take the hand out of the pocket. Not the conversation to try and look cool and laid back for.

“It was just nice. All the laughing and the chatting and the back and forth between-“ She points a finger and smirks as her voice begins to tremble, “-Those two…I-It was…It was just nice, Max. I-I didn’t think I would ever…Tr-Trust anyone like this again. But you-“ Sniffle, “You three-“

Ohh…The floodgates are opening now. I offer my arms for a hug, which Kate stands to accept. Resting the side of her head on my shoulder, she whimpers, “Thank you so much, Max. For everything…”

For everything...

Thank you for everything.

So much.

For helping me.

For saving my life.

_For watching my body turn to a smear on the concrete a few times beforehand._

_For probing my feelings back and forth for what the ‘right’ thing to say was._

_I bet you’re proud of yourself that you actually know anything about my family or my life._

_Most people would just pick up on that by actually caring, not snooping around my room._

_Don’t let me spoil your victory though. Congratulations! You figured it out! First try as well, no trial and error needed on stopping a suicide attempt._

_Because for Max Caulfield, pretending to give a darn is okay as long as you spout the right bulldroppings._

_Sorry, I can’t swear._

“Max…?”

“Sorry, sorry,” I run a hand across my forehead; when did we break the hug? Hopefully I haven’t been staring like a weirdo too long. “Just…Wowser. It’s…Really awesome, seeing you smile again, Kate; like, you have no idea.”

The aforementioned smile hasn’t left her expression, at least, though…It slowly begins to droop as Kate’s gaze drops to the floor. “There’s…Something I wanted to tell you, Max…Just you.”

She takes my hand and gently tugs, silently asking me to leave the tent. A nervous gulp drops down my throat; crap…She hasn’t spoken in that voice since…

Since that morning in her room.

At least those two are still making small-talk; Warren’s trying to impress Chloe with his experience in messed up and utterly taboo B-movies; and if I know Chloe, she’s seen more than enough videos on the internet to match them…So at least there’s little risk they’ll notice we’ve stepped out.

I nod and follow Kate, taking special care not to let go of her hand as I feel it begin to tremble. She leads me a few steps away from the tent before taking a deep, wobbled breath.

“I don’t…Really know how to put this, Max.” Kate’s eyes are still fixated on the ground, her irises frantically darting from featureless slab of concrete to the next.

I softly sandwich her hands between mine; a gesture I would often use to comfort the girl anytime she had trouble speaking to me; which was pretty often. It’s…Refreshing to think about, just how quickly we both grew comfortable with each-other on these sorts of things. God knows I’ve gotta shit track record on finding friendships like ours, after all. “Kate, you know that with me you don’t have to put it any special way; you can just tell me.”

She releases another breath, closes her eyes and opens them again. In that brief time – impressively and worryingly, a familiar red puffiness has built around her eyes, glistening in the moisture seeping from her tear ducts.

“The police phoned me earlier, Max,” She blurts out as my heart sinks, “Asked me to come to the station…They told me they think that…That Mr. Jefferson is the- T-That the possibility exists he’s-“ the brief display of confidence fades away, replaced by Kate’s desperate gasps to finish her sentence, “H-He’s the one who- After the Vortex club- Th-That they found…P-Photos…“

No, no, no…

Not like this, Kate.

You don’t deserve to learn that like this!

Or in any way…

Fuck.

FUCK.

I’m…Angry.

Gotta…Supress that, for now.

Maybe I’ll find a way into a timeline where I’ve shot him in that room instead of David somehow. Violent catharsis sounds like the cure for what ails me, right now…

Crap, crap, crap…Focus on Kate, focus on Kate…

She’s fallen to a quiet, heart-wrenching sobbing, now; whimpering and crying between choked words that try to form a sentence. “I went to him- thought he’d help me- M-Max, he was our teacher…”

At a complete loss for words, I take Kate into my arms. She grasps at my collarbone and weeps into my t-shirt, her body trembling and shaking to the point that I feel she’d collapse where I not holding her as tightly as I am.

“I can’t believe- Can’t believe that he-he could even speak to my face after- if- what he did, if he…Oh, Max…I-I wondered, when I heard he was arr-arrested, but I can’t believe…”

“It’s…So fucked up, Kate.” I grit my teeth in an effort to hold back any violent thoughts I’d like to voice right now.

Maybe through some well thought out rewinding, I’d be in the Dark Room, unbound and armed; I bet Jefferson’s face would be priceless were I to just…Pop into reality, pistol on his temple.

Maybe take a photo of the grisly result, just to savour it. Hell, why not rewind even farther with the picture in hand? ‘Yes, Mr. Jefferson, here’s my submission for the Everyday Heroes contest: you’re probably into this shit as well, you fucking sicko.’

Urgh. There’s time for thinking dark shit like that, and it isn’t right now…

**_(…ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?)_ **

“I can’t possibly imagine-“

_I **(YOU)** can’t possibly finish that sentence._

_Lying is a sin, after all, and you’re **(I AM)** in the presence of a damn angel._

“Max…I-I don’t know what to do.” **_(FUCKING KILL YOURSELF BITCH HAHA)_**

“What do you mean?” Just focus on Kate…

“I haven’t-“ She blows some air through her lips, buying time to steady herself, “I haven’t even told my parents.”

“Oh.” **_(GREAT RESPONSE, IDIOT)_**

“I-I want to, but…I don’t know what they’ll think! They might…Try and keep me away from art or…Never let me in school again or…Max…I-I don’t want my sisters to have to learn this…”

I…I could tell her.

Tell her I know how she feels.

Got any comment on that?

…

Yeah, thought not.

Major sigh. Not now…

“Kate, it’s…It’s okay, okay?” I interlock our fingers, drawing Kate’s eyes to the gesture, “You don’t have to tell anyone else. Mr. Jefferson’s in prison; where he belongs, all those horrible pictures are gonna be destroyed…No one else has to know, right?”

“Can I really just…Keep this to myself?” She seems to be finding her composure as she sniffles softly and the tears under her eyes and on her cheeks dry into black marks.

“Well…You don’t have to, right? After all you’ve…Told me, right?”

Yeah, that’s _real_ helpful, Max…

“I…Guess?” Blowing a frustrated puff of air through her mouth, Kate continues, “I just want someone close to me who…Who won’t judge me and- And you’re leaving, Max.”

“I-“

Damnit…

Yeah, I bet you’re really savouring this, huh?

…

“Of course I-I’ll totally come visit you, Kate- You’re moving back to Portland, right?”

“Yeah,” She tightens her grip, raising her gaze to meet mine with a sweet, hopeful smile – just for a moment, before bringing her focus back to our hugging hands, “I think I’d like that.”

“And I’ll stay in touch all the time- And I’ll bring Chloe to visit- And we could all go out for tea with your sisters too- And-“ My inane rambling comes to a close as she makes eye contact again and we fall to a short pause.

“You’re like another sister to me,” She releases a sobbed giggle; an emotional state even more sad than just crying, “My rebel older sister.”

“I don’t think I’m that dysfunctional.” I return the chuckle, to which Kate begins to laugh even louder. We fall into this…Infectious laughing fit, where as one of us grows more and more hysterical, the other rises even further in volume.

“I bet my mom would say otherwise!” Kate exclaims, laughing through her toothy grin as she wipes at her face.

“Oh god, I can imagine.”

She puts on a mocking voice punctuated by the emotion still running through her, intended to simulate what I can assume  is an overbearing mother. “’Oh goodness, Max’s shoes...It’s not a very nice design, is it?’”

I lift a foot and tilt it on its side as I had literally forgotten what my shoes even looked like. I don’t even remember where I found a pair of converse with this skull-and-flames design on it…Maybe I specially ordered it?

“Imagine if your parents met Chloe.” I say dramatically. Kate gasps, covering her mouth with her free hand. “Oh, no...It’s funny, actually…I think my dad would think she’s pretty cool.”

“For real?” I breathe a surprised ‘huh’, looking to the sky contemplatively.

“Lynn would totally love her, oh gosh. She wants to dye her hair purple, one day. Hehe…She told me she’s gonna try and get away with it the next time schools are out.”

“And my parents used to say Chloe was a bad influence on _me.”_  That earns one last, quiet burst of laughter as Kate calms down and a comfortable silence falls upon us; all the while never releasing our hands’ embrace.

“I’ll really miss you, Max. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Oh, Kate…

“This doesn’t have to be goodbye, does it? It isn’t…We’ll still see each other, I promise-“ I rush to blurt out as I feel my own throat growing weak from emotion, now, “Chloe and I will come see you, so many times...We love Portland, and it isn’t _that_ far away-“

“I know you will, and it’ll be so awesome and…I hope you two will be happy together, in the city.”

Opening and closing my lips a few times as I go back and forth between how to respond, I lowly whisper.

“We so will. We have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> auughhhhh i hate this one whyyyyy
> 
> No just kidding, for as long as I put off writing this chapter, it kinda turned out better than I thought it would. By no means am I saying I'm happy with it though, so I'll likely be going over this once or twice or three times or four or five
> 
> Yeah, you get the idea. In any case, I'm back! For realsies. For. Realsies.
> 
> I also want to take this opportunity to say I'm not happy with a lot of the older stuff I've written on this. I would say up until...Around chapter 6, I was just writing on a whim, with no real idea of where I wanted the story to go. I am, unfortunately, far too lazy to go back and re-write all of that, though.  
> isn't gonna stop me from moaning and complaining though AMIRITE HAHAAAAAA
> 
> seriously thank you so much for reading this far I have no idea why you even-
> 
> BY THE WAY GET HYPE FOR BEFORE THE STORM I SURE CAN'T WAIT TO CRY A LOT AND WRITE MORE FANFICTION TO PRETEND EVERYTHING'S OKAY
> 
> also, the movie they're watching is a real film called "Tammy and the T-Rex". The sad thing is, it probably *isn't* the most embarrassing role Denise Richards has ever taken.
> 
> 02/08/2017 UPDATED BECAUSE KATE DESERVES MORE CLOSURE THE WONDERFUL CINNAMON BUN THAT SHE IS :'(((((  
> CHAPTER 15 IS LIKE HALF DONE I'M SORRY also ARE YOU READY FOR BEFORE THE STORM BECAUSE I'M NOT :'(((((((((((


	15. Lost in Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I played Before the Storm...

_Alright, Chloe, your turn._

Eh?

_She’s so gonna be the one who drops it._

What even-

_Holy shit, are you high? Throw it!_

Whatwhatwhat.

Mud and garbage on the ground.

Tilt my head to eye level-

I’m looking at…A school bus.

Well, the spoiled carcass of a school bus anyway; the cruel mistresses that are time and rust have eaten away at it to the point that what was once a vibrant yellow paint job has worn away, leaving wake for brown metal flaking off.

My head trails off as my body steadily spins in a circle to keep up, taking in the familiar…Everything. An old boat is propped up on a mound of junk, empty bottles and used cigarettes litter the dirt and a dilapidated brick shack bearing graffiti sits in the middle of it all.

“Hurry up, ‘sista’, or I’m taking your throw.” Rachel’s giving me that irritated look-

Oh, huh. Rachel.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, dude,” I blink a few times, clearing the day-dream fogginess out of my eyes, “Uh…What am I doing again?”

“Tch,” She crosses her arms, rolling her eyes and glaring at the empty space next to me, “Seriously? Sure you two didn’t sneak some stuff before I got here?”

We two- Who’s-

“Oh…Max?”

Max smiles at me. She’s smiling so damn sweetly that I kinda…Stare. A lot. She lovingly rolls her eyes, taking my hand - _hngsodamnsoft_ – And raises it to chest level to reveal the empty beer bottle I didn’t even realise was in my grasp.

Max points to the former shell of what might’ve been a car at one point sat on top another poor, broken vehicle. Well, ‘sitting’ is a stretch. More like it’s tip-toeing over the edge ready to jump off the metaphorical cliff with how unstable the mound of scrap and garbage is.

“I bet this’ll be the throw that collapses that crap.” God damn, I can never get over that over-excited voice she does. Sends fuggin’ tingles through my chest, yo…

Eh?

Whatcha want me to do again.

Uh…

You’re both giving me a look.

“Oh, I get it.” Max shoots me a coy smirk, rises onto her tip toes and takes hold of my shoudlers- _Mmmmhahahahaohoho fuckin’_ _euphoria EXELSCIOR i’m walkin’ on sunshine WHOAAAAA and does it feel **GOOD.**_

_aaaahahahahaha._

_eheheheheh._

tastes like…

sunshine, i guess.

that’s pretty messed up, actually; payin’ that much attention to the flavour.

ok opening my eyes now.

max’s eyelashes flutter as she opens hers holy damn that’s amazing

“For luck, right?” oh my _GOD_ max you are _HOT_ with half-lidded eyes and a grin like that-

okayokayokay speak words chloe speak words

“Oh uh, yeah, for luck. Uh, wow.” fuckin’ damnit not those words something suave you asshat-

“Wowser.” SHE SAID IT SHE SAID IT SHE SAID IT IN A HOT WAY WITH THE GIGGLE AND THE SEXY SIGH-

“Ahem,” Rachel fakes a cough, ruining this amazingly awesome moment with that disinterested fuckin’ face and crossed arms look she’s always wearing, “Done yet? Want me to come back post-fuck?”

Pffft, look at her fuckin’ face light up, though. She’s _hella_ jealous, always has been. Asshole. Bitch.

“Yeah, whatever, dude,” I take hold of the top of the bottle as Max backs away a safe distance (still wearing that look on her face hnng), “I’m throwin’ it, jesus.” Rachel mutters something condescending (probably) as I pull my arm back…Hmm. I mean, I gotta make this the one. I just got a make-out quickie for luck, after all…Maybe aim for the bumper? I mean, that should tilt its weight the most, yeah? Gravity n’ shit.

I fling the bottle forward for it to smash upon the front of the car and-

Hohoho _DAMN._

There’s this brief, collective ‘oh shit’ moment between the three of us where we all grin at eachother as metal creaks and groans from the shifting weight, before the car almost instantly topples over, smashing into the dirt. A couple of hubcaps break away from the rest of the vehicle and roll across the ground, and what intact windows remain turn into scattered shards of glass as the accompanying doors snap off.

I cross my arms behind my head in a ‘casual triumph pose’, both sets of eyes turning to my smug face. Max has a similar smirk as my own, like she’s basking in it all just as much as I am and Rachel’s got this…Congratulatory look for a brief moment before she returns to that aloof bullshit she always pulls.

“Congrats.” Rachel half-assedly mutters, completely killing the ‘fun’ and the ‘awesome’ in the moment. God…Fuggin’ hate it when Rache gets like this; she’s been doing it more often, too. Tch, dunno why she thinks she’s got any right to a stick up her ass, considering how half of Blackwell- hell, Arcadia Bay is ready to worship the ground she walks.

It sucks for Max, too. She gets this…Guilt on her face, and goes all quiet and awkward.

“Yeah, whatevs. I’m pretty baller, I know,” I retort, just to give Rachel some kind of petty one-up as I take Max’s hand, “Anyway, we’re off to my place, right, babe?”

Chinning up a bit, Max nods. “Okay. I’ve got some time before my next classes…I guess I’ll see you at school, Rachel?”

Letting loose one last exasperated sigh, Rachel finally speaks a full sentence that _isn’t_ a passive aggressive grumbling. “Hold on a sec. Chloe…Serious business private talk, please.”

“Damn, sista’,” I play up the sarcasm, “Asking for something nicely for a change?”

“Yep.” She rolls her eyes and trudges off, making her way to the other side of the junkyard.

“Back soon.” I enjoy one last look at Max’s smile and a quiet ‘okay’ leaving her lips, before power-walking off to catch up with Rachel. Huh…Looks like she’s taking a stance by our old hang-out shack. Been a while since we’ve just chilled there...Haven’t even spent an afternoon there with Max along, ever since she got back. Shit, that’d be amazeballs. Some weed, some music, no step-dick getting in the way…And my adorable girlfriend to boot! Might finally see Rache show signs of a real emotion again, too.

“Yo.” I greet bluntly, relaxing my weight into the side of the cold concrete wall.

“Hey.” Rachel responds, equally lacking in enthusiasm or character as she makes a point to avoid eye contact.

“You…Needed something?”

“What the fuck is your deal?” Rachel wholly catches me off-guard with that one; a mixture of dread and surprise that she’s finally said something up-front to my face.

“My deal? Don’t tell me you’re actually angry that I ended up collapsing Scrap Tower.”

“What the fuck-“ The frustration’s flooded her voice; that was fuggin’ fast, “No, I don’t give a shit about- it’s not even-“ Exhaling angrily to regain composure, Rachel finally meets my eyes, “Did you two seriously get high before I arrived?”

“What, would you be mad if we didn’t save you any?”

“Straight answer to a straight question, Chloe, now.” God damnit, usually she gives up by now…

“You know asking for anything ‘straight’ from me is a pretty redundant effort, dude.”

“Haha,” Rache fakes a laugh, her glare shifting back to the side, “Because you’re gay; much funny, very laugh. Gonna answer the question, now?”

“Fuckin’ hell…” My own eyes trail off to find Max, having made her way to my car. She’s looking at her phone and tapping away at the screen; probably sending a text or whatever. Wonder who to? Hope it ain’t that Warren creep. Swear to god he’s got this look he gives me; like behind all that betamale exterior is some kinda deep hatred for me over swoopin’ Max from under him.

Kate’s nice, though; cute. Holy girl, though, so thinking like that’s even sinnier than the usual sinning.

What’re the other ones? Uh…Nerdbitch, chubby weird girl, cheerleader drone…

And Rachel. Fucking Rachel.

“ **Chloe!** ”

“No, alright? I can’t even get any fuckin’ weed since Frank’s outta town.”

Rachel pauses. She’s got this…Frustrated contemplation face on. “No bullshit?”

“Why do you even care, dude?” I groan tiredly, “What, are you our mom, now? ‘Cus that’d be pretty fucked up.”

“Gee,” There’s the angry sarcasm, again, “I dunno. Maybe ‘cus Max has a real future ahead of her and is, y’know…Actually worth a shit as a person?”

"Oh, so we're doing _this_ now?" Okay, yeah. The nerve isn’t quite stricken, but she’s poking at it, and it shows in my demeanour as I meet her eyes with furrowed brows. “Don’t think I know that, asshole? She’s my fuckin’ girlfriend; tryna’ imply I don’t want her makin’ something of herself? And-“ I remove myself from the wall, taking an aggressive step towards Rachel, “Hold on, hold the fuck up…Since when have you got any fuckin’ place tryna’ put a stake in our relationship?”

Rachel holds her ground as she crosses her arms over her chest; serving as both her ‘serious business’ stance and a defensive posture should shit turn south. “Come on, Chloe…Don’t act like I don’t know you. Does Max even know?”

“Rachel, don’t-“

“I mean does she _really_ know?” fuck this bitch fuck this bitch don’t you fucking dare bring this up we promised- “The things you said about her while she was gone? Christ, what about the things you’ve said to me?”

fucking no do not start crying not in front of this bitch

 “You’re a fucking prick.” I make an effort to hide my eyes and the moisture welling up inside them; though the weakened and choked up voice probably gives it away that the nerve has successfully been struck.

“See, Chloe? I know how you really feel; probably better than anyone. What does that say about you and Max? What’s it say if you can’t even tell _her_ the truth?”

“Fuck you, it’s in the past. Doesn’t mean shit anymore.” I inhale and release a shaky breath to steady my throat; though as my breakdown worsens I’m reduced to leaning my forehead into the wall in an in increasingly desperate attempt to hide it.

“…You _still_ think about me, don’t you?”  
“Rache, stop it-“  
“ _Don’t you?”_  
“ _Shut the fuck up!”_  
“And she doesn’t know, does she?”  
“Leave Max the fuck out of this!”  
“And what’s Max supposed to be, _huh?_ ”  
“I fuckin’ _love_ her!”  
“So what’s that make me, then?”  
“A jealous bitch who won’t shut up!?“  
“Jealous? Seriously? Pretty sure I’m the one who turned _you_ down!”  
“Figures you would since you don’t give a fuck about anyone!“  
**“Didn’t stop you from saying you wanted more from me, huh?“**

**NO.**

**FUCK YOU.**

**FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU.**

Everything turns into a blur of rage and fucking poison.

Sounds and feelings lose all meaning as my brain goes numb and I just…React.

…

Rachel’s choking.

I’ve forced her to the ground, pinning her with the weight of my body.

My hands are gripped around her neck.

She’s pleading to me in garbled wheezing that barely fits through her windpipe.

Max’s screaming grows louder and louder with every frantic step towards me.

I want to let go.

Rachel’s eyes meet mine.

Tears are streaming down her cheeks.

Mine too.

I don’t want to hurt her.

But she needs to go.

…

**Rachel is dead, now.**

**But why won’t she go away?**

* * *

Y’know…

All things considered, this is an okay day.

It’s pretty warm for an autumn morning, and I’m so glad I can say that the cliché of rainclouds over a dreary event has been broken.

Of course, the fact that we’re basically here to think about the fact a lot of people are dead now kinda kills any good vibes that could be going on, but I’ve gotta take what I can get.

Being back in Blackwell is pretty weird…Mostly in a bad way. I think I’m taking it better than I thought I would, at least…I guess having everyone around me helps with the whole, quote unquote ‘time travel anxiety’ and ‘time travel PTSD’ thing. Wonder why they decided to hold the wake here? Or…Whatever we’d call this. Guess the school _was_ the pride and joy of the town, so…Kinda makes sense.

It’s so messed up seeing the halls and classrooms all…Well, messed up. I enter the science room with Warren to see bouquets of flowers and other meaningful items left on Ms. Grant’s desk. The chalkboard is covered in farewells and teary letters – The one that catches my eye is a note of appreciation signed by Principal Wells that reads _“Ms. Grant: ever the voice of reason and knowledge in our team and community.”_

Warren shoves his fists into his pockets and slowly paces around the room. He stops occasionally to  examine seemingly insignificant objects; an empty fishtank with the names of its’ previous inhabitants written in the sand,  a sink that more than likely doesn’t work anymore…Someone’s even gone to the effort to scavenge and put that goofy skeleton model back in its place as he grins at the cigar hanging out of its mouth. It’s so cool that there’s clearly been an effort to try and tidy the place up as he leans against an upright desk – the one I would usually see him sitting at any time we had a chance to chat before I had to leave for Mr. Jefferson’s- My lessons.

“…Damn.” He sighs.

“Are…Things cool?” I sheepishly ask, well knowing that my question sounds exactly as stupid as it is. Warren shrugs, makes a half-hearted grunt that could be considered a response and continues to survey the room.

“Nah,” He finally mutters, shrugging his shoulders, “It’s mad surreal; like I’m realising this all happened for the first time again. Feels like I should be taking a seat and getting ready for class, just like a normal day…Crazy, huh?”

“Yeah, I think I get you. I’m not so sure I feel the same way, though…Feel more like I never wanna go to class ever again.”

“Mr. Jefferson, right?” Urgh…Just hearing Warren utter his name…

The memories start to seep in; slowly at first, before flooding my mind…Like I’m walking through the doorway before the whole room comes into view.

Or…Groggily opening my eyes, struggling to put the pieces together in my drug addled haze before the tripod mounted camera staring me down and the duct tape binding my wrists and ankles makes my situation clear.

Warren doesn’t know that, though. No one does…And no one can. I’m not sure I’m even willing to tell Chloe the full extent of it; I would rather just leave her with a vague idea of what happened.

“Y-Yeah, it’s so messed up…I looked into it some more and I can’t believe- A-Assuming he’s guilty, anyway...”

“Wish there was more info on what’s going on-“ Warren hesitates, backtracking his sentence, “I mean, whether or not he’s guilty, y’know? The less we know about what he did- _could’ve_ done-“ Sighing, he shakes his head disappointingly,  “Guess we’ll find out on the day of justice or whatever, right?”

“Oh, the trial…” My voice comes out far grimmer than I intend. I have to watch it…I need to see that bastard squirm but…

I don’t know if I want to.

I do know that I wanna stop talking about Mr. Jefferson, though.

“How are you doing?” Hopefully my desire to change the subject is blatant enough, “You uh…And Brooke, I mean.”

“Heh, c’mon, don’t insult me, Max,” Warren leans his back into the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, “It’s all cool, alright? Chloe’s cool.”

Oh. Not the route I wanted the conversation to go. Also not the information I wanted Warren to know so early.

Damnit…There’s the ‘heart sinking so far it basically falls out of my ass’ feeling in my chest.

“I swear, we didn’t hook up just so I could use her as a cock-block or to screw you over or something- I-I know you’re- _were_ really into me and all-“ Crap, forget Jefferson; look at _me_ squirm. And Warren’s just…Looking at me, with that poor face and a faint smile like he’s ready to tell me everything’s cool again. “-It’s just that- Chloe’s y’know…W-We’ve been through a lot, and- L-Last week was crazy important for both-“

“Max, Max, holy crap.” Warren chuckles a few times, resting his elbow back onto his desk. “Seen that episode of Rick and Morty, yet? The one pissing on that Purge movie?”

“Uh…No?”

“There’s a part where like, Morty has a crush on this alien girl and he’s about to ask her out but she like, immediately shoots him down. Like, literally instantly she drops the ‘I have a boyfriend’ as Morty says hello.”

“Right…” I arch an eyebrow, a slight smirk forming on my lips. Ah, Warren and I’s secret communication code; pop culture references, obscure and mainstream alike. The fact that we’re even talking this way is a decent gauge that he’s in a good mood, so…Whew, I guess?

“So Morty’s like, ‘okay cool, bye’ and she’s all ‘I’m sorry! You’re a nice guy but it’s just that I already have a boyfriend!’ and Morty starts getting pissed since the fact she keeps talking about it and bringing up her BF is even more annoying than-“ Hitting the ‘I get it’ point of the ramble, he scratches his scruffy hair, “So yeah. On point reference. Bottom line, it’s chillax, Max.”

Blowing a sigh out, I nod. “Okay, crap. Sorry. Stop talking about it; got it. So…If we’re getting it all out there…What about you and Brooke?”

Warren shrugs and pulls his fringe back across his scalp for it to flop over his forehead again. “Dunno…Feelings are hard, I guess. And as we all know the last thing in her priority list has always been dating.”

“Heh, yeah…” I trail off from the conversation, bringing my attention to the vacant fish tank placed on one of the shelves lining the sides of the class room and the names etched into the sand at the base of it. ‘Bubblehead’, ‘Joseph’, ‘Scrubadub’, “Ms. Grant Jr.”…It’s feels kind of sad that the science class students seem **(ED)** more creative than some of the people in Mr. Jeffers- My art class.

“Anyways,” Standing up straight, Warren stuffs his hands back in his pockets as I turn around to face him again, “I’m done moping like the edgy teenager that I am; what about you?”

“Yeah, I think I’ve hit my mope-quota for the hour…Gotta save some for the memorial.”

* * *

This is…

Peculiar? In a…Scary, insane way.

Chloe’s got the exact same look; open lips, eyebrows raised, silently mouthing ‘what the fuck?’

“Chloe…” I take a step onto my ‘Keep Calm’ motivational carpet as though I’m walking on brittle ice, “What the actual hell is this? It’s…Completely untouched!”

It literally is. Everything is the same way as when I left it. My guitar, the photos on the wall, my working desk – everything’s still there! My laptop, portfolio, assorted notes and textbooks; even Lisa stands tall in her flower pot with healthy and green petals.

Looking through the unsmashed window is like…Peering into another dimension. In here it’s an average insecure teen’s hideaway, and out there it’s a ruined campus barely held up by the hasty attempts to replace supports to ensure nothing collapses any further. Even the rest of the girls’ dormitories had chunks missing from the ceiling or doors blown off their hinges but-

My room just…Survives unscathed.

“It’s like the storm just…Stopped, right here? Literally as it was passing over Blackwell it said to itself ‘don’t fuck with Max’s shit’? Wild…” I certainly don’t share Chloe’s…Impressed tone of voice as I press my hand onto my bed to take a seat; a pointless precaution just to make sure it isn’t cursed or the universe is playing some kind of joke-

Well, reality is definitely pulling something on me, no doubt about that.

Chloe saunters around the room, confidently swinging her arms by her sides as she examines all the junk in my room; it’s so unsettling, just watching her walk in casual strides like nothing is out of the ordinary.

“What the actual fuck is that?” She’s pointing  at the wall behind my bed; written in red paint is a crude, hastily done threat that reads ‘NOBODY MESSES WITH ME, BITCH.’

“Nathan Prescott.” I growl; more violently than I expect to. Toning it back a bit, I add, “Thankfully he didn’t get take it any farther than asshole threats.”

“Dude, you shoulda told me! I would’ve totes been your roommate/watchdog/bodyguard!”

“Oh yes,” I jest, “Like Principal Wells would just _let_ Chloe Price get a free room on school property.”

“Not like we were following any rules to begin with…Besides, remember the locker rooms? I’ve got sick ninja skills, Max.”

Oh…I don’t think I’ll ever forget that night.

I think it was when I started… _Thinking_ about Chloe.

In the water and…

Swimming and…

_Looking._

…I don’t think I can think of the smell of chlorine the same way again.

“Pfft, you _actually_ started studying time weirdness?” Chloe scoffs, breaking my…Daydreaming as she picks up a book titled ‘Time Travel’ and pretends to read while she flicks through the pages.

“I guess I was desperate for some answers-“

I don’t even have time to finish my sentence before Chloe lets out an adorable squeal as her attention is drawn to the wall by my desk. She bends over, resting her hands on her knees for support as she eyes some photographs stuck on with blu-tack. “Oh my lordy…Max! You had braces!?”

Oh, god. She’s seen _that_ photo.

“Y-Yeah, just for a little while.” Oh sweet monkey god of the mountain, strike me down and spare me this torture…

Chloe looks giddy as a school-girl as she lets out various ‘Aw’ sounds over the polaroid. “I’m _so_ keeping this, and you’re not stopping me…Were you at a hockey game or somethin’? Does yer dad have a _beard?_ ”

“Yeah, on both accounts.” I’m still partially trying to hide my face behind my hands as I wallow in my shame, catching glimpses of Chloe’s grin between my fingers. “Still don’t know shit about sports, but it was fun to watch, I guess.”

“Too cute for me…You, I mean. Pop’s face-forest is a good look too, though.” She takes one last look before stuffing the picture in her pocket as I stand up, defensively holding my arm with my free hand. “Chloe…Is this really the time or place?”

She shrugs, pulling out one of the drawers at the foot of my bed. “Pretty sure this’ll be the only time I get the chance to check out the nerd-cave, Maxi-pad.”

“Yeah, but-“ I blow a frustrated sigh out, biting my lip in discomfort. “This is seriously creepy…Something’s not right.”

“Surprised you’re not desensitized to shit being wrong-“ Chloe abruptly stops;  my eyes dart to her position to find her staring at something inside the drawer.

“Chloe…?” I slip beside her, carefully taking hold of her arm.

“Dude…” She rests her hand upon another polaroid, the blue on her nails showing cracks and wear. “You hella kept our picture.”

I take special care not to focus too intently as I peer into the dresser. It’s a close-up shot of Chloe and I wearing our pirate gear, smiling widely for the camera. Even as I avert my eyes or blink more than necessary, I can still…

Feel it…

Like hearing a faint echo from deep inside an empty cave.

…

_Three…_

_Two…_

_One… **PIRATE POWER!!**_

_Holy bananas, dude! It just comes out like that!?_

_I know, right? It’s so epically vintage._

_More like epically hipster, nerd._

_Hey, shut up! You so think it’s cool._

_Least you save on printing costs, right?_

_Uh…N-Not really. The film is pretty expensive…_

_Ha! Sucker! Then we’d better make every shot count!_

_I hope I can; I’m still pretty bad at this._

_…_

_…_

_If all the pics are of us together, sista’, then they’re worth it._

_…_

_…_

“You’re…So awesome sauceome, Maxie.”

Mmn?

Oh…This picture…

I looked at it on the day I discovered my powers.

The day Chloe and I finally saw each other again.

The day all of this started…

Chloe presses a soft kiss on my cheek, pulling me out of my trance. She slips her hands into her back pockets and turns to face her right. “Jesus, look at us.”

Hah, wowser…

I look through the mirror by the door; hello, zombie face. Actually, I kinda regret looking at my reflection; ignorance is bliss, and all that. We washed our faces and hair in the community sink as best we could this morning, but that doesn’t change how dirty our clothes are or how sleep-deprived those bags and bruises under our eyes make us look.

Chloe isn’t wearing all those bandages now, so cut-marks and scabs are scattered over her arms; not to mention how ruined her punky clothes are…Which in itself makes her look even more cool and punk.

“We look like shit.” I jest, gently leaning my weight into Chloe as she wraps an arm across my shoulders.

“First thing on my to-do list in Seattle; re-dye my hair…Before or after an eternity of cuddles n’ kisses, of course. _Then_ I guess I’ll bathe and get all that hygiene shit outta the way.”

_“Gross.”_ I quietly giggle, looking to Chloe’s scalp, “I’d love to see your natural hair colour again, though. Blue looks super cool on you, but nothing can beat my classic Chloe.”

“What? Am I a soft drink now…?” A devlish grin takes its place on Chloe’s face, “That came out completely wrong-not-wrong. Heheh…”

I scoff, delivering a playful slap to her shoulder. “You’re _the_ worst.”

“Whadoya prefer, Max? Classic Chloe? Diet Chloe? Vanilla Chloe? Ooh, vanilla sounds hella good.”

Okay, okay, I get it…Urgh, beyond gross.

Looking to shift the conversation’s direction ASAP, I stumble through my words into…Something that isn’t what she just said. “For reals though…Can we get outta here? I’m seriously spooked.”

“Ah…” Chloe groans, scanning the room. “Fine…But…”She bends over, grabbing my acoustic guitar by my couch before turning to present it to me, holding it by the neck. “Play me something, first!”

Blinking once or twice at the sudden request, I sit back into my bed, resting the guitar on my lap. Running my fingers along the smooth wood of the instrument, across the butterfly mark that I can’t even remember drawing there, I ponder what song I should play as Chloe eyes me in anticipation.

“Ehm…There is one song I came up with- W-Well, not really a song…More of a short…Uh…Barely a melody.” I tweak the tuning pegs ever so slightly; both to prep the guitar and also to buy myself time to even remember the song-not-song.

“Yeah?” Chloe asks, leaning back into my couch and crossing a leg over the other.

“Yeah. It was like one of those shower-thoughts, I guess. Barely practiced it, with how crazy last week was…” Crap. I am so gonna mess this up…Should’ve just played Crosses.

“Whatcha call it?”

I shrug, playing a few test notes to check how I’ve tuned the instrument. “I started thinking about you and how your life must’ve changed after I left when I practiced it so…Maybe we should call it Chloe’s Song?”

Chloe dismisses the lame title with a snicker. “Let’s hear it, Maxl Rose.”

Taking a deep breath, I stall for time with a few more practice strums before falling into an incredibly short, slowly paced and sombre sounding tune that I play on repeat a few times. Chloe brings her relaxed leg back to the floor for support as she leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees and smiling at me.

Returning the smile, I break off from the cycle and improvise some notes that frankly end up sounding better than I expect them to; Satisfied with my extension of the song, I return to the initial melody, repeating it two more times before leaving the room with the faint echo of one last guitar chord.

I set the instrument on the ground, carefully leaning it against my bed as Chloe maintains her gaze and smile at me. “What’d uh…What’d you think?” I break the quiet.

“Awesome sauceome, babe.” Is Chloe getting watery eyed? Wowser…I didn’t expect her to like it, let alone that much. This is one of those important moments, isn’t it? It feels like one…Which means I’m supposed to do…Something, right?

I stand and approach the couch, taking a seat beside Chloe. She almost immediately lets her weight drop against me as we enjoy a quiet embrace, the only sound being a pleased sigh from Chloe.

“I gotta good title for it, Maxironi.” She finds my hand with her own, taking a gentle hold.

“Yeah?” I ask, closing my eyes as I return the grip between our fingers.

“Our Song.”

* * *

“So you’re both leaving tomorrow?”

Oh, Kate. You’re doing that voice…The one where you know the answer.

I nod, fidgeting in my sitting position as my behind starts to ache since, go figure, a cold, hard ledge isn’t exactly an ideal seating arrangement. “Your dad should be here soon, right?”

Chloe’s watching the crowd form around the fountain in the middle of the courtyard with her brow furrowed; though it seems like she’s examining individual people, like she’s looking for someone.

Kinda sucks Brooke didn’t wanna come to this, but I get it. Last thing she probably wants to deal with is _more_ drama in addition to her own. Plus, it’s more time for Warren and her to bond so I can maybe stop making up reasons to feel guilty, right?

Right…

“Yep!” Kate glances at the main road behind us; there’s some noticeable damage in the tarmac, probably from cars or debris or…Whales smashing into the ground. “He’s just driving over from visiting a friend so…Fingers crossed he gets here before the service starts.”

I wonder what Kate’s father is like? He seemed cool from the message he sent her that I uh…Snooped on, so…

Still, it might be best to keep quiet about me and Chloe’s ‘gay’ thing. I mean, I’m not making assumptions or anything- Kate’s super open-minded so maybe it runs in the family-

Augh. Overthinking bad.

Speaking of Chloe, she looks…Nervous.

I touch her arm, taking special note to keep my fingers away from any of the many bruises or still-healing cuts. “You okay?”

“Rachel’s parents.”

Oh, shit.

She tips her chin at the man and woman I can safely assume are Rachel’s mom and dad. The woman has golden brown hair that falls down past her shoulders that looks eerily similar to the way Rachel wore hers in all the photos I’ve seen; the afternoon sun behind us giving it a distinct sheen. She’s dressed pretty plainly; a pink button-up shirt with black formal pants and a pair of black pumps. Her husband has a very lame come-over, a noticeable five o’clock shadow (can I blame him?) and is dressed just as appropriately for the occasion; a white shirt, black pants and black shoes.

“Do you wanna speak to them?”

“Hell no,” Chloe scowls, keeping her eyes on the two, “They _hate_ me dude. Guaran-fuckin-tee they’d just use all this shit as more ammo against me.”

I let out a disappointed “oh” as I watch Rachel’s parents speak with Principal Wells. I don’t even have to lip-read to know how that conversation’s going.

_Please accept my most heartfelt condolences; this is surely a tragedy, one that should never have been allowed to happen._

Detached drunk asshole. God forbid the Principal accept responsibility over hiring and enrolling fucking psychopaths. Whatever brings in cheques for Blackwell though, right? So what if a few kids get some abuse or fucking kidnapped; all that Prescott cash must make up for it…No doubt Mark Jefferson makes for some good reputation points as well, even if he is a fucking…

God, I sound like Chloe.

“Why don’t they like you?” Kate speaks up in surprise.

“Ah y’know, the usual,” The sarcasm is strong in this one, “Bad influence, druggie scumbag, lazy dropout, clingy wannabe, etcetera, etcetera.”

 “Oh.” Kate most certainly sounds like she regrets asking.

“Her dad’s a prick, too. Nuff said.”

 “Well…I think you’re nice…And cool.” Kate seems desperate to raise the conversation’s spirits.

“Beyond cool.” I chime in, nudging Chloe’s arm.

“Exactly! And if Max thinks so, you know it’s true.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” Chloe wraps an arm around me, pulling me in to a hug; she hesitates on forcing Kate into the embrace as well, instead just patting a hand on her back. “Exactly what I needed to hear.” She sounds a little choked up…Old wounds run deep, I guess; especially if it has anything to do with Rachel.

“Oh!” Kate’s gaze is focused along the length of the road behind us, again, “There’s my dad’s car!”

“Oh, awesome.” Chloe mumbles in as unexcited a manner as she can muster, leaning in to whisper to me as Kate hops down the steps to meet her father, “I am so not ready for this. _Hate_ meeting other people’s parents.”

“Even mine?” I feign offence, smirking.

“Dude, as cool as your dad is, I cringed pretty hard the first time I saw the plaid shirt…Though the beard kinda redeems it, now.”

I take a second to look over my shoulder; Kate’s chatting with her dad, right now. Better savour every non-awkward moment that I can get, after all. “Don’t worry, mom and I make fun of the lumberjack aesthetic pretty openly, so it’s safe territory if you wanna think up some jokes.”

“…Yep, they’re just up here- Max, Chloe!“ the footsteps and Kate’s excitement practically jump me to attention as I face her and her father in greeting. “This is Max and her best friend, Chloe.” Kate’s dad gives us a warm smile as she gestures at us; he’s a little older looking than in the photo I saw of the Marsh family; with a slightly receding hairline, circular glasses and a few wrinkles along his forhead.

 “Max, let me be up-front-“ Kate rolls her eyes as her father takes on a genuine, meaningful voice; at least I know where she gets it, “Thank you, words really can’t express-…Thank you.“

By the shameful look on Kate’s face, at least I don’t have to worry about my own awkward introduction, right?

“It’s so cool to meet you too, Mr. Marsh.” Ugh, yep. Somehow I botched it even worse. Could I have phoned that in any more?

“I have to admit, I’m…Really at a loss,” He fumbles through a chuckle, “What you’ve done for Kate- I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means-“

_“Dad…”_ Kate groans; I can safely assume the family’s been fussing over her _a lot_ and I’ll be honest, I don’t even want this hero treatment to even start.

“For reals, Mr. Marsh, it’s super cool. There’s no way in hell I was ever gonna let _anything_ happen to Kate. I mean, we’re basically sisters, after all.” I force a ‘heh’ to continue my ‘it’s no biggie’ façade. I wonder if I should tell Chloe how messed up I was at the end of that day? The only other time I pushed my powers that far was when I was…

Tr-Trying to uhm.

Get out of the-

Escape from-

_Fuckfuckfuck **FUCK.**_

_noooo i don’t wanna think about that right now_

_happy thoughts happy thoughts right? uhhh chloe chloe chloe chloe chloe’s so awesome i love chloe **THAT BASTARD SHOT HER-**_

_but i saved her it never happened **AND I’LL NEVER FORGET IT**_

_gotta get away from here with chloe_

“Uh, s-sorry-“

_everyone’s saying something but it’s just fucking noise in my ears_

_“_ I just need to speak with Chloe about something-“

_stop looking like you’re in pain you fuckwad take your hand off your head_

“Max, what’s up?”

_there she is just focus on that voice after all **Y’NEVER KNOW WHEN SOMEONE ELSE’LL PUT A BULLET IN HER BRAI-**_

_NO_

_NO ONE’S TAKING HER FROM ME_

_NOT HIM OR THE STORM OR ANYONE OR EVEN **YOU**_

“Babe, you’re pale as me; tell me what the fuck’s goin’ on.”

_CHLOE_

_DON’T DARE LET GO OF HER_

“You’re scarin’ me…”

**_Me too._ **

**“Max!”**

hahwuhwha

“Sorry, sorry- Shit…”

“Dude, fucking tell me what’s wrong…And also loosen up a bit, yer’ gonna cut off circulation at this point.”

Myeh? Oh, her hand. Feels…Nice. I should…Yeah, not squeeze so hard.

That’s kinda bad that I have to consciously tell myself to do that.

Where even am I…

Looks like I dragged Chloe across the courtyard in that trance; I can see Kate taking a second out of her conversation with her dad to glance our direction.

Blegh. Curse you, subconscious; whatever gave you the bright idea to slump onto this damp as crap grass? It’s seeping in _everywhere._

Urgh. I don’t feel like standing up.

“I-I think-No I’m _totally_ having an episode, Chloe.”

“You- Oh, shit.” Chloe firmly grasps my shoulders, an air of panic in her manner, “Dude, everything’s cool- Like, whatever you’re freaking out about- I’m fine, Kate’s fine, Warbear’s fine, you’re _hella_ fine- Just don’t- Fuckin’…Don’t leave again, please?”

I practically gasp a sigh, “Okay.” And then again, “Okay. Crap…I’m cool. Hella cool. Just…Brain being a dick, again.”

“Bad Max?” Her fears at least slightly alleviated, Chloe finally breaks the eye contact she’s been holding like a hawk.

Bad Max, pfft.

Well, I guess it fits.

“Uh…I dunno…Just stupid thoughts seeping in, I guess.”

“Like what?” She snaps, stuttering to fall back on a softer approach, “Uh, unless talking about it makes it worse; in which case bottle it up like a ticking time bomb or whatever.” She outstretches her arms for comedic effect, “Dark jokes! The best coping mechanism!”

I can tell Chloe’s freaking out as much as I am; maybe even more. Could it really hurt to just…Talk to her about it? Even if it sucks?

“It’s uhm…Y-You know, it’s…M-Mr. Jefferson.”

Lecherous shitbag doesn’t even deserve the ‘Mr’ title, so why do I even bother? Old habits die hard…Even if the subject is a-

Urgghhh damnit even the word ‘subject’ is tainted.

“Max, he’s gone, alright? In some prison cell gettin’ buttfucked like the bitch he is. Jeffershit can’t hurt _anyone. Ever._ ”

"He hurt Kate." Damnit, now I'm dragging her into this. I didn't even mean to say that...It just...Came out.

"Shit..." Chloe closes her eyes in defeat, "Kate's gonna be cool. She's got amazeballs people like you keepin' her goin', right?"

I whimper something out. I don’t even know what it is, so you can bet all Chloe heard was a faint attempt at human speech.

“What is it, Max?” She’s locking her eyes on mine again as I look up from the dew-covered ground we’re sat on.

“He hurt _me_.”

“But you stopped it from happening, right?” She’s got that ‘grasping at straws’ feel to her voice, “Reversed all that shit like a boss? Yeah, right? Never happened!”

 “Chloe…It happened to _me.”_

“ _Damnit…_ I’m so fuckin’ sorry.” Crap…She tightly hugs me, repeating herself in a pathetic whisper as she breaks down. _“So fuckin’ sorry.”_

Okay, okay. I can recover this, I think.

I'll just...Bottle it up.

Because  _that's_ a good idea...

But I don't think Chloe can handle knowing what happened.

What  _really_ happened.

So maybe it's best if we just leave it at 'I saw you die again and got taken to the Dark Room and it was scary as shit' for now.

“It’s not your fault-“

“It is and you know it!” She cries out; okay, subconscious; maybe you’re not so bad if you lead us to a spot where no one can watch our meltdown…Except us. “If I wasn’t such a fuckin’…Vengeful asshole, I wouldn’t have dragged you-“ The rest of her outburst comes out as a sad whine, lost in the babbling of her crying fit.

This is slowly turning into a rewind moment…It couldn’t hurt that much, right? Hell, I might not even have the powers anymore so it could be worth it, just for testing’s sake-

No, no, no. No more rewind. Time to be New Max and face my problems head on…Awesome.

“Chloe.” I say firmly, receiving only another ‘I’m sorry’ in response. “Chloe,” I say it again, the air of ‘crying our eyes out’ beginning to get to me too as I force that damn lump down my throat. “Chloe!” Now my hands are grasping at her shoulders, pressing them forward to force her eyes to meet mine.

_“Sorry…”_ She winces, blinking some of that excess water we’ve both become so familiar with out of her eyes.

 Okay…So I’ve got her attention now.

…

Well, hurry up and say something you dingus!

“Chloe…It’s okay.”

“Seriously?” She mumbles in a mix of disbelief and sobbing, wiping a bead of snot leaking from her nostril to brush off against the grass.

“W-Well, no…It’s not okay. I guess it’s…Pretty clear I’m not okay.” Damn girl, you are on _FIRE_ with screwing up.

Chloe nods, her eyes trailing off to the dirt; my own gaze mirrors it to follow the tiny dew-droplets sliding down the blades of grass, like…Little crystals? On…Rocks. In a…Cave?

Well, at least we know I won’t be writing Chloe any love poems anytime soon…

“But that’s okay!” Chloe doesn’t look convinced as our eyes meet again, “It’s okay. For real. We can make it work, make…Me, work. I’m never going to…Blame you for anything, what’s happened to me is…No one’s fault, least of all your’s.”

“Yeah, sure…” The sarcasm is a pretty clear indicator that Chloe’s picked herself up off the metaphorical ground, if only barely.

“Please…” I plead, “Please stop blaming yourself.”

“Oh, yeah,” Brashly and tearfully, she rants, “Don’t blame yourself Chloe, even if you’re the one that fucking-“

"Don't start this, Chloe-  
"Why not? It all started because I forced you into a shitty situation like always-"  
" _We_ did!"  
"Don't even fuckin' pretend I haven't been takin' advantage of you and your power-"  
"You're _not_ taking advantage! You _never_ have! I've  _always_ wanted to help you!"  
"Yeah, shootin' bottles n' cars in a junkyard's sure important..."  
"That doesn't matter! No one was hurt-"  
"Frank pulled a fuckin' knife on you and I did jack shit!"  
" _Stop it..."_  
"You gotta stop ignoring the fact I'm a selfish fuckin' manipulative-"  
**"STOP IT, CHLOE!"  
**

At some point in that argument, I took to hiding behind my hands as my mind turned numb from all the screaming. I don't even care if Kate and her father can see or hear us right now, I just want Chloe to stop...

_"Please...Stop..."_

I can't even make out her face as I peek between my fingers that cover my face; the salty wet film covering my eyes obscuring my view even more. I feel her hand find a place on my arm and I just collapse into her, practically enveloping myself into her form.

_"I don't want to blame. I don't wanna blame anyone..."_

I just want things to be simple.

Just me and Chloe, putting this behind us.

What else can I do?

I'm just...Me.

I can't...

I look around the courtyard, at the people. At Rachel's parents, leaving a bouquet of flowers on the fountain. At Kate; broken, shamed Kate, the people around her barely able to keep her in one piece and yet she continues to smile.

There's so many people crowding at Blackwell. They've all lost something...Had something horrible happen to them.

I can't...Fix this.

**It's not fair.**

"Damnit," Sounds like Chloe's taken up the mantle of composure and emotional stability now as she blows some air through gritted teeth. "Fuck."

"I just want you."

"Okay." She's gently pushing me forward by the biceps. I fall onto my backside, instinctively locking our red, puffy eyes.

_"I just want you to help me."_

_..._

_I don't wanna stay._

_Get me out of here right now._

_I just wanna be free._

_Is there a possibility?_

_Get me out of here right now._

_This life-like dream ain't for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...And it's better than I was expecting, which is a really, really pleasant surprise. I might make a blog or whatever to both share my thoughts as the episodes come out (or just share my thoughts in general) and also to use to provide updates on the fic's progress. I'd love to hear if that's something you'd keep up with if I bothered! EDIT HAHAHAHA I ALREADY DID IT [i've already posted my thoughts on Episode One: Awake if you wanna hear em](https://blarcin.tumblr.com/) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA life is suffering
> 
>  Anyway, this chapter. I love it. I loved writing it, I loved reading over it again, I'm legit kinda proud of the direction I'm taking the story with it, and I really hope you guys enjoy it too. (Don't worry, I'll go back to belittling my work incessantly very soon: I'm not even sure this chapter's finished) Unfortunately, because Before the Storm is a huge prick, I'm seeing things throughout the whole fic I'll have to go back and re write a bit. Oh well!
> 
> by the way, the song i'm trying to reference that Max plays for Chloe is the guitar riff in [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx97snsx7-I)


	16. Lost in Whatever

_We can make the world bow. Are you ready for that?_

_Oh yes. Once I figure out exactly how my power works; a god must doth know these things._

_Amen. And while you build an empire, I’ll be there to keep you on the road of badassness – And fun._

_Spin, rinse, and repeat…I’m just altering time and space – Oh yeah, and history. Hah – No biggie._

“I would first like to thank each and every one of you who has found the time in this difficult period-“

Time.

Spin.

Huh.

“-To be here for one another as we remember those we have lost, and look to the future.”

It’s like...Screwing in a bolt.

I can…Unscrew it and re-screw it and slight-screw it but eventually…

“As representative of our town’s pride and joy; Blackwell, as well as its staff and students I share your loss and heartache-“

It has to be screwed in.

Or the whole shelf will collapse.

“-Brought upon by these horrific events.”

Right?

_a butterfly flaps its wings and the shift in the air starts a chain reaction of blahblahblahblah._

Spinning.

Like the wind.

Spinning…

_Well, the wind doesn’t usually spin, does it? I mean, I guess the Earth is a sphere, so in a sense-_

But…

On a horizontal plane…

Spinning.

Like a tornado.

_(pretty sure it’s more complicated than that)_

“Please, I implore you, those of us that remain,”

Is it, though?

Time can only go back and forth.

Clockwise and counterclockwise.

‘Time is like a river’, and all that,

**I’ve just got a jet engine attached to my raft to fight the current.**

“The proud, strong community of Arcadia Bay; tell us what you have lost. Tell us, so we might share your grief.”

Hah, wowser…I’m really fucking spacing out.

_Do I really give that little of a shit?_

**_I guess it’s easy to want to drown out Principal Wells’ lame speeches._ **

**_…Drunk, money-grubbing, rooster necked boot-licker._ **

…

Hmn.

Spin, rinse and repeat.

 _Spinning_ around and back around time.

Playing my life on repeat.

Or, rather…

Playing everyone _except_ me on repeat.

Like our song.

Repeat the first few strums because they sound good.

Then… _Maybe_ everything else’ll work afterward.

…

“My friends; Stella and Alyssa…They were so kind to me, even when it was hard to find any reason to be.”

**PLAYING KATE’S DEATH ON REPEAT**

Oh, Kate…

**DOWN…AND UP.**

**FALLING…AND RISING.**

**A SMEAR ON THE GROUND…AND AN ANGEL READY TO FLY.**

It’s so unfair that you have to have such a low opinion of yourself.

You’re so…

**DEAD**

**NO SHE ISN’T**

**NOW SHE IS**

**NOW SHE ISN’T**

How can I prove to you the sweet, caring angel that you are?

 “I don’t know what happened to them…”

**BUT I DO**

**KINDA.**

**ALYSSA BROKE HER FUCKING NECK FALLING A COUPLE STOREYS. TRUST ME, I HAD TO WATCH IT A COUPLE TIMES BEFORE I COULD FIGURE OUT HOW TO STOP HER FAT ASS FALLING OVER.**

**STELLA? FOR ALL WE KNOW SHE PROBABLY THREW HERSELF IN THE DARK ROOM WITH HOW SHE WOULDN’T SHUT UP ABOUT JEFFERSON.**

“But I miss them, and pray for their safety.”

Kate…

**TRUST ME, GOD DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT**

**OR HE’S GOT A TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOUR, PLACING THEIR LIVES IN MY HANDS**

Blegh, stupid subconscious; my jeans are moisture-central right now.

My butt feels like I’m sitting on…Something gross and moist. A swamp?

Git oota mah swamp!

We need to watch that movie again.

Urghhh…Calling all bets that I’ll have a rash by the end of the day…

Principal Wells looks bored. Or…Just disinterested in general.

Well, to be fair he only ever has one expression.

Hah. Hah. Hah…

** Asshat. **

“My son, Evan…”

**WAS A PRETENTIOUS PRICK ANYWAY; I MEAN, DID YOU EVER EVEN TALK TO THE GUY?**

“The last message I got from him was as the storm began…”

**‘MY MY, THIS GIRL KNOWS THINGS’…WELL, HE SURE DIDN’T KNOW SHIT, ELSE HE WOULDA’ SEEN THE LAMPOST COMING.**

“Just letting me know he was safe, and doing what he loves.”

…

…

…

Crying.

Someone’s crying.

Is it Chloe?

No…

Good.

I don’t want Chloe to cry anymore.

I don’t want her to cry about William.

Or Joyce.

Or David.

“Our daughter was taken from us…”

Or **Rachel.**

“By someone she should have been able to trust.”

_Rachel was my angel; we were gonna kick the world’s ass._

**AND THEY DIDN’T NEED ME.**

“She was kind, beautiful, intelligent…”

Rachel didn’t deserve what happened.

**RACHEL DIDN’T DITCH CHLOE FOR FIVE YEARS.**

“She was going to change the world.”

Rachel was so pretty…

**GO FIGURE IT TOOK SEEING ME IN HER CLOTHES BEFORE I BECAME HOT.**

“And we failed her.”

Crying.

“Indeed. Miss Amber was a valued student and member of our humble community.”

**(PRINCIPAL WELLS IS STILL A DICK BT-DUBS)**

Chloe is crying.

She looks so sad...

I don’t want her to cry anymore.

I want to stop her crying.

Like Rachel did…

…

**Maybe she was better off with Rachel.**

“Chloe.” Her name comes out, lowly and raspy.

Her body falls to the side as she breaks down into a sniffling mess on my lap.

Her hair feels slick and gross and leaves my fingers greasy.

_What kind of world does this?_

A world where I control the flow, I guess.

_Rachel…_

**_RACHEL!_ **

Chloe loved Rachel.

Chloe loves Rachel.

I love Chloe.

…

It’s not fair.

It’s not fair.

“Max…”

It’s not.

“It’s not fair.”

I love her.

** I love HER. **

**She** loves **HER.**

…

** IT’S NOT FAIR. **

“I miss her so much…”

rachel

what if rachel were here?

what if she was never here to begin with?

would chloe be happier?

...

...

i wonder if i’ll ever tell chloe about my…

it’s not _that_ far off of ‘btw i can reverse time’

hm.

…

…

Breathing.

Puffs of air agonisingly punctuated by a breathing tube.

Each one reminds me it could be the last.

**_i’ll never forget about her_ **

**_never._ **

**I MISS HER**

**I MISS HER SO MUCH**

**TAKE ME BACK TO HER**

**MAX**

**BRING US TOGETHER AGAIN**

** LET ME BE WITH HER **

…

Gawd, these plastic, mass-produced classroom chairs suck.

They’re exactly as uncomfortable as the eternity-long hours in Mr-

Mr-

** MR. JEFFERSON’S CLASS. **

**_(I could paint any one of you in a moment of desperation)_ **

I **HATE  **him.

Chloe always says he’s gone but I can still see him,

Looming over me with a needle and camera in hand.

He’ll never hurt anyone again,

But I still feel strapped to that chair by duct tape.

I’ll never forget that room.

Or the camera mounted on a tripod staring at me, judging me.

I’ll never forget how naked I felt just because my hoodie was gone,

Or the horrible excitement in his voice as he ogled me with the camera lens.

The shame is burned into my brain and worst of all,

I can’t even bring myself to tell Chloe.

Chloe…

…

Skinny, malnourished arms hidden beneath a thick, warm layer of fabric.

A book of memories placed upon her stomach.

With pirates and smiles-

A smile.

**Chloe’s smile.**

**She smiles as she begs me to end it.**

** quick and painless **

** WITH A TRANSPARENT BAG OF FUCKING POISON. **

…

What would I do if I lost Chloe?

Rewind until I had her back, I guess.

I mean; duh, right?

…

What would I do if I **had  **to lose Chloe?

** I’d force the world to let me have her. **

That’s what my power is for, after all.

…Duh, right?

…

she whispers my name and it hurts

it hurts

IT HURTS

**IT FUCKING HURTS SO MUCH SHE COULD BE SAYING HER NAME**

“Sorry…”

Chloe’s cheek feels gravelly and rough from the trickling stream drying below her eyes.

I would’ve loved to meet Rachel.

Chloe says she would’ve loved me.

We’d all be _hella best friends forever._

 “It’s okay.” I murmur on autopilot, my brain momentarily coming up for air before submerging once again.

I would’ve loved to have saved Rachel.

So that I could **know.**

...

I would’ve loved to forget about Rachel.

**So that I wouldn’t have to know.**

…

“I love you so much, Max.”

It’s so simple.

Chloe loves me.

I love Chloe.

We earned the right to that by proving it’s true.

“I want you to know, right now…”

She’s looking at my unfocused eyes.

It ties a string of knots in my chest to look at hers through the surface of the water at the top of my mind; glazed over and wide like a blue glow.

A light blue glow shining,

_Through the surface of the water._

Chloe is standing tall,

_Over the surface of the water._

Why are my eyes so drawn to her?

_Standing tall,_

I guess this is what growing up feels like.

_The light blue glow beneath the surface of the water illuminating her features against the dark corners of the hall._

She raises her arms into the air and clasps her hands before diving in,

_Beneath the surface of the water._

Her head pokes up above _the surface of the water._

She watches me with a grin then looks away.

Before I dive in.

_Beneath the surface of the water._

_“Oh, look! An otter in my water!”_

…

…

“You’re all I have left.”

Hah…

**that’s kind of sad**

**chloe is shaking**

**she grips a clump of my t-shirt tightly between her faded nails.**

“There’s no one left except you.”

“Please…”

Chloe tries to keep her voice down in between her sobbed gasps that are lost in the choir of flooding emotion around us.

“Promise me you won’t leave.”

“Not again…”

“Not like everyone else.”

It’s so damn simple.

I saved her and I’m never leaving her.

I saved her because I love her.

I saved her and she loves me.

I saved her and **now she needs me.**

* * *

Shut up.

Just shut up.

SHUT UP.

**JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT RACHEL.**

They’re still fucking talking about her.

Piling flowers and photos into a big shit-heap by that pissing fountain.

Some fuck with a turtleneck, a basic bitch incarnate, a fucking **COLONY  **of jocks in their overpriced jackets.

_“Drama class could get…Dramatic. Rachel Amber always seemed to know how to keep us all under control.”_

You didn’t know her, asshole.

**YOU DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW HER AND DON’T PRETEND YOU DID.**

_“Rachel was my role model…”_

_“I always had mad respect for her; she never seemed ashamed to hang out with me between classes, even when there were so many cooler guys to chill with.”_

**STOP IT.**

**STOP FUCKING TALKING.**

**SHE WASN’T YOUR FUCKING FRIEND.**

**SHE WASN’T A FRIEND TO ANY-FUCKING-ONE OF YOU.**

**SHE WAS MINE.**

She was mine…

I **EARNED** her.

And now all _you’re_ **FUCKING  **doing is basking in her post-fucking-humously **YOU SICK, PATHETIC A-HOLES.**

...

Max…

Say something, please…

She’s just staring at me.

Like she isn’t even there.

Or like I’m not even here.

I grit my **FUCKING** teeth enough for them to crack and suck down  **ANOTHER FUCKING  **scream because they’re **STILL FUCKING TALKING ABOUT HER.**

**Talking about her like they knew her.**

**They didn’t know her.**

**I did.**

**I DID.**

** I FUCKING DID. **

** THEY DIDN’T LOVE HER. **

_I did…_

And she still screwed him.

**SHE STILL FUCKED HIM.**

** I’M GLAD YOU’RE DEAD, ASSHOLE. **

Like **he** of all people should see her the way I did.

I’m **GLAD  **his **STUPID-ASS DOG  **is dead too.

And guess what?

** WE’VE STILL GOT ENOUGH MONEY FOR OUR TRIP TO PORTLAND. **

** AND IF THERE’S TO BE ANY MORE FUCKING CONSOLATION, AT LEAST I KNOW FOR CERTAIN THAT YOU’RE DEAD. **

** YOU’RE A CHARRED FUCKING BARBEQUE IN A COLLAPSED DINER. **

With Mom…

Mom…

A pained gasp cracks through my throat, snapping Max’s eyes into focus.

I wish you could see us, Mom.

We’re gonna rule the **FUCKING  **world together, just like we said we would when we were kids.

We’ll be hella queen and queen of this shit planet; weed n’ gay marriage legal everywhere. No more fucking pollution and no more fucking guns. No animal products, no Vortex Club and the Prescotts **BURNED AT THE DAMN STAKE MEDIEVAL STYLE.**

** AND WE’LL RENAME THE FUCKING PLANET ‘JOYCE PRICE’. **

And I’ll be Chloe Price Caulfield and she’ll be my megaperfect wife and we’ll have our honeymoon in Paris and- And…

You wouldn’t have wanted me with anyone else.

…

And yet it could’ve been Rachel.

But they took her from me.

**ALL OF THEM.**

**JEFFERSON AND NATHAN AND FRANK AND ALL OF FUCKING BLACKWELL.**

…

I wish I killed him myself.

Seeing that putrid message on the wall in Max’s dorm…

It reminded me how much I want to see that pampered, entitled little shit suffer.

He could’ve taken Max from me, too.

“Chloe…?”

Like her paren-

**_FUCK PISS SHIT ASSHOLE_ **

**_NONONONO._ **

**_I’M NOT-_ **

**_NOT THEM-_ **

**_THEY-_ **

**_THEY’RE HER-_ **

**_THEY-_ **

**_…_ **

**_ THEY _ TOOK HER FROM ME. **

**_ FUCK. _ **

“Sorry…Let’s bail, okay?”

…

Max is right.

All these pricks aren’t worth our time.

They don’t give a shit about anyone.

Their voices are monotone and grating.

Their tears are fake and meaningless.

They’re just mindless fucking drones revelling in the corpse of a shit town.

**And I don’t care.**

**I like _every_ reminder for why I hate this hellhole.**

“Please, Chloe…Let’s just go?”

The tears have stopped, I think.

I kinda can’t fucking tell because everything is so **NUMB.**

Except for Max.

Her fingernails brushing through my hair is like the eye of the st-

** STORM. **

** FUCKING STORM RIPPING THROUGH THE TOWN AND TEARING IT TO SHREDS AND PUKING UP WHAT’S LEFT. **

** AND DAVID- **

David’s smack dab in the middle of the shitshow.

Desperate,

Alone,

And scared.

Scared for Joyce.

Scared for me…

David, I don’t…

I don’t fugging know, okay?

But I miss you.

Maybe that means you really could’ve been my **dad.**

...

_Dad…_

_Max came back._

_Just like I said she would._

_Even better, she saved my life…More times than my ego will allow me to reveal._

_She’s literally a superhero now._

_So all our cringey sketches are canon, now._

_Oh, and we fell in love, too._

_We’re hella gay in Arcadia Bay._

_Yeah, I say hella now. It’s a California thing or whatever._

_It’s kinda…Fucking awesome sauce. Max and me, I mean; Cali still fucking sucks._

_Somehow…I don’t think you’d be surprised._

_You always gave me a smile when I called her adorbz._

_I bet you and mom would be all over it and ask us every time we’d visit, ‘When’s the wedding?’_

_You were both cool like that._

_She’s even cuter now._

_And her hair’s all thick and messy with bangs like Pris!_

_Whoa, okay. Eheh…How did I never draw that connection?_

_Sorry, thinking out loud. TMI, I know._

_She’s got all these t-shirts with edgy animal designs on them now._

_And I’ve got a sneaking suspicion she believes in all that spirit animal mumbo jumbo from those phoney websites with the lame quizzes._

_Shit, don’t get me wrong…All that means is that she’s still my Max._

_Not that I can chat shit, anyway…Bet I look pretty different, huh?_

_At least from the last time I wrote to y-_

_Y-Yeah, I did that for a while. When you wouldn’t write back, Max became my imaginary pen-pal for a while._

_Sorry._

_I uh…Found the journal in what’s left of our house._

_Pffbbbblt, I can hear you now…’What’s **left** of our house!?’_

_Then you’d sigh, ruffle my hair and grab your toolbox to fix the place up._

_You’d probably even bribe me and Max with cookies or a day out or a trip to the movie rental store we always called ‘Wannabe Blockbuster’ to lend a hand._

_Then we’d all watch Bladerunner or one of your crappy old spy flicks to celebrate a job well done._

_But uhm._

_The journal._

_I-I haven’t read it yet._

_Surprised I even found it…_

_Dunno why I even bothered. Well no, I do._

_I’m glad Max didn’t notice me swipe it from my bombsite of a room._

_She’d better never see what’s inside._

_If future Chloe sucks at hiding shit I swear I’ll damn her to an eternity in Davy Jones’ Locker._

_Yeah, we’re still doing the pirate thing; on and off, tryna’ bring it back._

_But, I guess I wanna hold onto the journal just ‘cus…_

_I still can’t let go._

_…_

 “Okay.”

Max…

“That’s okay. We can stay here a little longer, if you want.”

Her lips close the distance to my ears to ensure only I can hear her hushed whisper that tickles the inside of my skull.

“I’m never leaving you…I promise.”

The fucking synapses in my brain connect a trillion dots and send a jolt of warmth and feeling through my veins. How long has she been cradling my cheek? How long have I been subconsciously brushing my face up against her palm like a friggin’ cat? How long have the inside of her nostrils been crusty and caked in blood…?

That shit must be really…Old. She hasn’t had a nose bleed since the motel on the outskirts of the Bay. Guess she must’ve forgotten to clean it up this morning, right? Can’t blame her…Assholes were pretty stingy with the water we could use.

Christ…All that feels like an eternity away; and yet the week before still feels…

Like it was yesterday.

* * *

**_'NOBODY MESSES WITH ME, BITCH'_ **

That fuggin’ death threat on the wall is really killin’ the mood we have going on here. The…Sombre,  mildly depressed and survivor guilt-ridden mood. Yeah, real romantic…

Max’s bed is _so_ damn comfy, though. Or maybe it’s just her?

Probably just her. I predict spooning will be my favourite thing for a _long_ time…Especially when I’m the biggun. Plus, intertwining our legs is like...Spooning for our lower halves. The best part? Single bed! So we have no choice but to snuggle as tightly as possible!

Wonder how long I’ll keep that mindset in Seattle…

Max has some hella shu-weet digs, though…Guess Ryan’s new job worked out pretty well?

Yes, all the bitterness, all the passive aggression.

Way too weird that this place is even in one piece to begin with. I can see why Max is freaked out over it…Wonder why no one else has taken notice? Now _that’s_ freaky. It’s literally like alternate dimension or something…Our personal pocket universe in hell.

Hey, we need some major ‘us’ time after _that_ emotional trainwreck, so I’ll take the chance of being spontaneously transported into a black hole.

I’m finding myself very aware of Max’s breathing. How her chest expands and contracts and her shoulders rise, or how every few breaths she’ll swap between taking in air through her nose or her mouth. Actually, scratch that, I’m just very aware of Max’s tics and minor movements in general as she curls her toes against my foot and I return the gesture.

God, it feels great to finally get out of my boots.

I’m legit having trouble making out the cow-skull design on Max’s t-shirt because of all the shit and damp patches and the small splotches of blood on it. Wonder why she doesn’t change while we’re chilling in her dorm? Not like I’d look…Much.

…Yeah, actually…Thinking like that after today…

Kinda fucked. Cool, glad I’ve learned from the experience. Push those thoughts to the back of the head, now.

My finger brushes in strokes around Max’s bicep as my free hand clasps onto hers. Kinda nice she isn’t wearing her hoodie, right now; means I get to touch as much Max skin as is morally acceptable for the situation.

Moving north, my hand finds the collar of her t-shirt, then caresses up her soft neck to her jaw. My finger slips over her chin to-

“Oh…Your cute lil’ lips.” I whisper almost out of reflex. In hindsight, it (and by extension, all the touchy feely to begin with) probably did seem hella weird since we’ve barely spoken since slipping out of the service early.

“Whuh?” Max absent-mindedly stutters as I remove my index from her bottom lip.

“They’re all rough and chapped…”

“Oh…” She runs her tongue along the damage, “I guess.”  She starts to grind her teeth against the flaking skin around her mouth, picking away at the dry, white bits hanging off. “I never really use Vaseline or stuff like that…It feels _so_ uncomfortable having a layer of gross oily crap on my lips.” She chuckles, “It drives my mom totally crazy when my mouth basically looks like a tire track.”

I force an amused sound as a dark backdrop finds its way against my thoughts. “You uh…Mentioned she wasn’t doing so good, huh?” I bait further conversation; mainly because listening to Max’s precious mouth-breather voice after today is like fucking candy for my eardrums.

“Yeah, uh,” A frustrated sigh comes out, “I-I mean, she always majorly stressed out over things to begin with…”

“I remember Vanessa did get-” I juggle between disrespectful ways of describing a mental state, “…Freaked out, sometimes.”

“Yeah.” Max nods, tickling my nose with a face full of brunette locks, “I guess we were always too young to really understand it, but after we moved to Seattle, Mom got…” She pauses, as if to fumble with the same dilemma of respect, “Uh, worse, I guess. She wouldn’t smile very often, she was always worrying about something…Some days I’d get back from school and she’d just be crying on the couch.” I mutter a contemplative noise which signals Max to continue, “With Dad always at work and me pissed off at her all the time…Well, it didn’t help.”

“Dude, I _cannot_ picture you angry at your mom.”

Max hesitates as I hear the beginnings of several responses in the form of intakes of air until she lowly whispers, “I _really_ missed you...”

“Oh. Y-Yeah-“

I’m cut off short as Max gains the confidence to resume. “Man, I…I _hated_ my parents for a while. Looking back, I can tell they were trying so hard to…Basically _beg_ me for forgiveness.” She chuckles, “It sounds so sad, doesn’t it? But we went on so many expensive trips in the city and every birthday or Christmas was super lavish…But I guess I was just…Numb to it.”

That’s…Pretty cray-cray.

How much I can relate.

“What about Pops?” I hopefully throw out a potential conversation-changer.

“Oh, dog…” She winces with a giggle, “You’re still gonna call him that, aren’t you?”

“Totes Mcgotes.” I say with finality.

“That’s a new one…” Max blows out a sigh, worming and twisting to shift into a more comfortable position. “Dad was… _Is,_ awesome. To us, I mean. Just…Smiling and joking all the time. Moving can’t have been easy for him either, _and_ he had to deal with me and Mom’s crap…But his issues always came second.”

“Tough as a bear, yeah?”

“Beyond that. Tough as a…Bear operating a WW1 era tank...Through an active volcano, more like. With everything else going on, it had to have been hard for him to settle into his new job at the shipyard. But he just…Kept calm and carried on.”

“It _was_ the whole reason you guys moved…” I inwardly curse the passive aggression in my voice as an agonising silence accompanies it. “…Sorry,” I tack on, “Guess I’m a bitter bitch for life, heh…”

Sighing in a way that more or less says ‘not this shit again’, Max presses my hand above her chest. “You know I don’t believe that…”

I twist my neck to – barely – face the wall behind us. Ignoring the love letter _(ugh, shit, even referring to it that way sarcastically sounds totally fucked)_ from Nathan Bitchass Prescott, I scan the wall of Max’s work. Wonder if any of these were taken in Seattle? Damn there’s a lot of them, though…Hard to find one to focus on that isn’t a sombre looking selfie of the freckled, brunette beauty responsible for the wall-mounted portfolio.

Max starts humming something; a song I don’t immediately recognise but after she takes a short breath before the low melody I’m oh-so familiar with, I quietly squeak:

_“Goodbye to my Santa Monica Dream,  
Fifteen kids in the backyard drinkin’ wine.”_

Max stops the tune, purring affirmatively at my recognition of the song.

_“You tell me stories of the sea…  
And the ones you left behind.”_

“God, you’re so fucking perfect.” I murmur as I tip-toe between my lame singing and normal-chit-chat voice. I relax my chin against the back of Max’s head again to press a smooch through her knot-ridden and oily hair and against her scalp, earning a slight giggle that resonates through the room.

“I was just thinking about that song, I guess. We played it-“

“-When we were chillin’ in my room on our first day together again…It’s one of my favourites.” I finish Max’s sentence as I rub my cheek into her disgustingly unwashed but pristinely soft hair. Fuggin’ hell…I think that little duet just hit a dopamine trigger or something because I want to fucking _melt_ into this girl right now.

“It’s…Apropos, since…Well, since we’re leaving.”

“Apropos?” I scoff in jest, “Christ, you keep finding new ways to remind me how much of my Max that you are.”

Max goes quiet; not the result I was hoping for after some teasing. I give her body a squeeze and leave a trail of kisses that starts at the back of her head and makes its way to the side of her neck. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way, hence why you’re…You know, _my_ Max.”

“Hah…I guess _your_ Max is still an insecure wreck.” A brief, even more awkward pause follows after that prickly retort, “I didn’t mean that like…Crap, I’m still bad at smacktalk, too.”

Intertwining my bruised, scabbed fingers with hers once again, I latch onto her neck in _another,_ extended kiss. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Chick-chick…Blam; bullseye.

Humming favourably, Max goes quiet. From her hair shifting and brushing against my cheek some more, I can tell she’s scanning her room. Alright…As much as I like a face-full of Max, I _am_ concerned that our lack of hygiene could give me pinkeye, so this isn’t helping. I lean my head forward, bringing my lips to her ears. “So…You know how your hair totally looks like Pris’s, now?” I progressively lower in volume as I speak, whether for ‘dramatic’ effect or out of shame I don’t know, “Well, um- That’s uh…Sort of my _thing_ , now. Like…As in, one evening when I -”

“…This still doesn’t feel real.” Max cuts in abruptly, easily overpowering my gradually hushed voice. Damnit…That comment could’ve easily sparked some more fluffy love-talk! “My room, I mean. How the hell does this even happen?”

I shrug, a pout on my face. “How do time travel powers even happen? How do two moons even happen?” I apply a gentle squeeze to her stomach. “The point is, don’t think about it.”

Max – at least for now, accepts defeat and drops the conversation. Yes, conscience, I hear you; ignoring the problem is most definitely not the way, but you know what? I don’t really care, and at least for now, neither should Max.

“I can’t wait to watch Harrison Ford be a mopey ass with you again, though.” Oh, yissss, we’re talkin’ about Bladerunner some more, now. “And Daryl Hannah’s hair _was_ pretty cool.”

“Correction: hot as _fuuuck._ ” I rectify, extending the _fuck,_ “Which, by extension, applies to you, too.”

“Dork.” Is she blushing? She’s totes blushing. The fact she has such an easily exploitable weakness is amazeballs. “Uh…What time is it, by the way? My phone’s dead, so…”

With how tight we are for space in this bed meant for one, digging through my pocket is a real pain in the non-existent dick. Add to the fact the fresh scabs on the back of my hand still sting as they graze against the fabric and I don’t think you can blame me too much for grumbling and sighing to myself as I fish my cell from the denim pit. Well, I guess getting another view of Max’s face on my wallpaper _(Maxpaper?)_ makes it worth it. “It’s uh…Almost one.” I lock the screen again, setting the device to the side rather than bothering to stuff it in my jeans again. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing. Since I can’t text them, Warren, Kate and I agreed to see each other off in an hour in the car park.” Max’s voice turns grim as she exhales a sad breath, “I…Doubt we’ll get to see each other again any time soon, so…”

“Not with that attitude, you won’t.” Oh, damn…I am _shit_ at hiding when nerves are stricken. Better work on that for when I finally meet the folks again.

A brief, agonising silence. I should probably tack on a ‘sorry’, shouldn’t I? That was pretty outta line. My front teeth bump against my tongue as I prep the ‘S’ before Max abruptly cuts in. “You’re right. I should do better, this time…Sorry.”

Took the word right outta my mouth.  The sorry, I mean. Uh…Awkward.

…

…

That damn song is stuck in my head, now. The quiet acoustic melody before Julia Stone’s gorgeous voice starts up? Reminds me of the long-ass days playing it on repeat, watching my unchanging text history with Max…Just hoping that maybe, maybe I’d get a weeks-late reply. I take in a breath and shakily begin to sing again, horribly out of tune and with several voice cracks:

 _“I’m somewhere…You’re somewhere_  
_I’m nowhere…You’re nowhere_  
_You’re somewhere…You’re somewhere_  
_I could go there…But I don’t.”_

* * *

 _Rob’s in the kitchen makin’ pizza_  
_Somewhere down in battery park_  
_I’m singing songs about the future  
_ _Wondering where you are._

Chloe sounds so sad when she sings…

Maybe we really could make a band together…Which means we need to brainstorm band names: Pirate Power? Partners in Time? The Whitest Kids You Know? We’ll work on it, I guess.

It’s surreal how I’ll be saying my final farewells to Warren in the car park before Chloe whisks me away in her old junker, again. Or…Maybe he arranged it that way for some deliberate irony. Or maybe I’m reading too much into things as I look for reasons to feel guilty; always a possibility.

Come to think of it, as I look at my guitar and the bag of all the other stuff I deemed too essential to leave behind in my dorm room (laptop, one-eyed teddy bear, lame handmade pillow, any and all photos with Chloe in them, etc.) It starts to hit me how real this is. I’m leaving Arcadia Bay for the _third_  time, probably forever…With Chloe. I can’t imagine how she must be looking at it; I mean, she’s finally getting what she’s wanted for five years, right? She says that it’s as simple as ‘there’s nothing left for me here’ but…

This can’t have been the way she wanted things to happen…Right?

_BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT!_

The shaking seat sends me recoiling far enough to knock my head into the passenger seat window of Chloe’s car. I squeak in shock, groaning as I rub the fresh bump buried beneath my hair.

“Shit, sorry, babe.”  Chloe leans over, placing her hands on my temples. “C’mere.”

“Uh,” Making no efforts to _fight_ this, per say, I do point out the writhing cell phone placed between us as I scoot closer. “Shouldn’t you answer that?”

“In a sec, m’kay?” She gently presses her fingers along my scalp until she hits the _ouch_ spot and I wince in the slight stinging sensation. Then, she looms in, making a comical ‘Mwah’ sound as she delivers a swift smooch. “Boo boo kisses are best kisses.”

“Now I know the cure.” I remark, handing the vibrating phone to Chloe.

“You know you can just answer it yourself, right?” She presses the button on the side of the device and swipes across the screen, bringing it to her ear. “Yo, Mrs. C.” Go figure that it’s my mom, I guess.

I-I didn’t mean it like…Like Chloe’s friends and family are all-

O-Or that she never had any-

_Sigh. Stupid._

“Yeap, we’re all good. What’s that? Max hasn’t been answering your calls?” Chloe winks at me, grinning with her patented sarcasm in full clarity. “Well _I_ for one have always been under the impression she has your best interests at heart, so this lack of responsibility is shocking to me indeed.”

I roll my eyes, leaning in to groan at the voice receiver. “Sorry mom, my phone’s dead.”

And of course, Chloe takes the opportunity to peck my cheek. Let’s hope she’s more subtle when meeting mom and dad face-to-face…

Chloe taps the screen again for me to hear Mom’s voice fill the car. “Oh, good. I didn’t want to impose, Chloe, I’m sure you want your space…It’s good to hear from you both.”

“Yuh-huh!” Chloe squeaks affirmatively, “You’re on loudspeaker by the by but don’t worry; it’s just me and Max, so if there’s any top secret Caulfield intel you gotta exchange, you know I’m a trustworthy agent.”

Mom hastily giggles in that familiar way that screams discomfort. “She’s still our Chloe, after all this…”

“The very best.” I confirm, making honeyed eye contact and shared smiles with Chloe. “How are you doing, mom?”

“It’s been a good day today, sweetie. We’re prepping a surprise for when you arrive!”

“Well, it’s not exactly a surprise now, huh?” Chloe adds, resting her head in her hand with her elbow against the window for support as she keeps her gaze on me.

“Oops! Me and that big mouth.” Mom takes the fall elegantly, “Oh well! At least it can be a half-surprise. On that note, though- N-Not to pry or rush you, Maxine-“ Ah…Damnit. I never know how to talk you down when you get like this. “Y-You know you can take as much time as you need-”

“It’s cool, it’s okay.” I interject as softly as is possible while still taking control of the conversation, “We’re just saying goodbye to some friends and then we’ll be on our way, okay?”

She sounds like she wants to protest, but settles with a bated breath. “Okay.”

“Where’s Dad?” I ask, desperate to ensure the conversation doesn’t end there. “I don’t think Chloe has spoken to him, yet.”

“Yeah!” Chloe chimes in, “ _Some_ sort of law’s been broken with how long I haven’t been able to greet his beardy mug since getting back in contact with you guys.”

Mom laughs – probably more hysterically than she really intends to. “Oh, goodness…So you’ve seen his new look, then? Hold on, hold on, he’s out in the yard. I’ll call him in!”

The sound of hurried footsteps follows, then a door creaking open, then some more footsteps…Chloe absent-mindedly begins caressing the back of my hand, individually running her finger up and down the lengths of my own, before returning to brushing in circles around the dorsal.

“Just a second, girls-“ We faintly hear in the background, “Where is he…”

I can hear Chloe stifling a giggle as mom fumbles around the house. Finally, as if to signal she’s given up, she sighs before readying a deep breath.

**“RYAN!”**

Chloe nearly drops the phone in shock as I poke a finger in my ear to get the ringing out and she silently mouths “Jesus Christ.” The crackling feedback from how loud mom’s screeching can be certainly doesn’t help how overwhelming _that_ was.

 **“IT’S MAXINE AND CHLOE PRICE!”** A short pause as I ready my index fingers to shield my ears once again. I can faintly hear dad’s gruff voice promptly approach. “No, on the phone! Here, they want to talk to you!”

Some more fumbling, some more crackling feedback before we hear dad awkwardly cough. “Did I hear right? Chloe Price?”

“Hey, Pops! Long time no chat!”

Dad lets out a big, hearty laugh; the kind you’d expect him to hold onto his stomach for. “Now there’s a nickname I’ve missed!”

Chloe’s wide grin has dropped into a faint, thoughtful smile. “Hey, dad.” I add to the conversation as I look out the side window.

“Hey, kiddo. How’re you both doing?” Dad’s voice drops in excitement notably quickly; as if he momentarily forgot our situation before reality struck again.

I look at Chloe for a second. She’s still staring at me, contemplation on her face. I clasp my hand to hers, raising the clump of fingers to chest level to make the gesture clear. “We’re okay. It’s been rough, especially for Chloe…But she’s as badass as ever.”

“I can only imagine,” It always sounds especially sad when dad takes on a grim tone; you would think he’s a typical ‘tough guy’ from the gravelly voice, but he’s always so willing to let his true feelings show if you let him. “Chloe, I know nothing I say could ever alleviate what you must be going through, but…You can bet we’ll have your back from here on out- You’re family, through and through.”

She doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, her gaze having dropped to our huddled hands. “…Yeah, thanks, Pops.”

That sounded…A little insincere, but she looks like she’s lost in thought. It must be weird, talking to my parents after all this time…

I vaguely hear mom chattering something on the side. “Oh? You’re both leaving soon?”

Chloe’s still maintaining the same demeanour…I scoot over even closer, resting my head into her collarbone as our clasped fingers fall to the seat and my free hand takes hold of her opposite shoulder. “Yeah,” I half-heartedly respond, my full focus shifting to Chloe, “I imagine we’ll find somewhere to stop for the night and arrive…Sometime tomorrow.”

“Alright, kiddo; your mother’ll make sure the motion detector’s on so we’re on high alert for your arrival.”

“ _Dad.”_ I groan, giving Chloe’s hand a squeeze. I can’t blame Dad for anything, but I think the last thing we need jokes about right now is creepy surveillance systems.

He sighs, apologising sincerely. “I’m sorry, pumpkin; not the time for jokes, I know.”

“It’s chill.” Chloe finally speaks up, igniting a spark of hope in me regarding her emotional state. “We’ll see ya soon, Pops.”

“Take care.” Dad says with finality. “Love you both!” Mom shouts loudly and ecstatically enough that I’m a little concerned for Dad’s eardrums, now. Chloe taps the red button on the screen, and practically throws her phone into the seat as she groans in frustration.

I keep hold of her, feeling like my embrace is the only thing stopping her from spontaneously falling apart. “Chloe…?”

“Damnit…” She grits her teeth, knocking her head against the leather head-rest. “ _Fuck._ Sorry…I’m just…Being a grade-A bitch again.”

“No you’re not.” I whisper against her neck with a notable quiver to my voice, “You’re just…In the worst situation that a person can be. Tell me what’s wrong, Chloe…Please?”

And…Nothing. Chloe goes silent as she turns her attention to the window, placing her hand that was supporting her phone on the back of my head to brush my hair with the makeshift comb that is her nails. My own gaze swaps from the driver’s seat window to the front windscreen; from here, I can see the wrecked football pitch; the ginormous bigfoots sign having been embedded in the dirt and the goal posts leaning over to the side. Not to mention several seats straight up missing from the bleachers.

Blackwell seems to have fared decently, all things considered. The swimming pool hall is completely collapsed (something I’m conflicted on; it’s where the End of the World party was held, buuut...That night Chloe and I spent there was…Pretty magical), but the main building seems to be holding stable; even if it’s a complete mess on the interior. And of course, there’s my ghostly pristine dorm room…I wonder what the reaction will be when someone stumbles upon that? If…Anyone even can. I mean, _something_ supernatural has to be going on with that.

 **_(HOLE TO ANOTHER UNIVERSE_  -->** **_)_ **

Maybe Chloe’s right; I probably should be desensitised to weird shit at this point.

“Heads up: Warbear and Katie-Angel inbound.”

Well…There they are, descending the short staircase into the car park. Kate’s wearing a brown leather jacket that looks way too big for her now (her dad’s, I presume) and Warren looks…Thoughtful as the two chat away.

I tilt my chin up, hoping to meet Chloe’s eyes that are instead pointed straight ahead through the windscreen. “Do you…Wanna say goodbye?”

She shakes her head and my heart sinks ever so slightly. “You go ahead, babe. I’ll just roll the window down, m’kay?”

I consider pushing the issue further but…I just don’t want to argue. I plant a kiss on her collarbone and reluctantly remove myself from her before scooting across the car to climb out.

It still feels…Weird, to kiss Chloe; especially when it’s, like…The lips. I like it – Like, a lot, don’t get me wrong, but…

God, I’m like the ultimate betafemale. Maybe I’ll get used to it when we can relax…I guess I’d better, since we’ll have so much alone time together.

I breathe deeply to prep myself as I walk out from behind Chloe’s car into view of Warren and Kate. I hate goodbyes.

“Hey, guys.” I cradle my elbow with my other hand as I approach.

“Hey Max,” Warren stuffs a hand in his pocket, “Ready to rock n’ roll?”

I force a chuckle. “Hah - If I’m traveling with Chloe, you know it’ll be like…An AC/DC concert all the way.”

“Damn,” Warren sounds impressed, “That’s a classic reference.”

“Yeahno,” I run a finger along my cheek ( _stupid tic)_ , “My dad’s the one into…Well, dadrock.”

“No kidding, huh.”

I shift my attention to Kate, putting on a perky smile. “Hi Kate. How’re you doing?”

She smirks at Warren, who in turn droops his posture for comedic effect. “Mr. Science Guy was telling my dad and I about a certain potassium experiment…”

“What can I say?” He takes on his ‘casual and cool’ voice, “Sometimes the road of science is paved with explosions…And forgetting to wash your face after said explosions.”

I guess he omitted the part where experiment took place right before Kate’s suic- Her…Kate on the roof. Good call, Warren. He must’ve exaggerated some details for humour’s sake, because I don’t remember it being _that_ funny.

Good on you I guess, Warren. Kate needs all the smiling and laughing she can get.

A familiar discomfort begins to grow in my throat as well as my steadily quivering lips. I take a breath and a gulp to force it down – at least for a little longer. “I’m gonna miss you guys.”

Kate smiles and, after a short pause of glancing between us, approaches me and outstretches her arms. Like a trance, I near-immediately accept the hug, quickly breaking down in the blonde girl’s arms.

“You’re like my brother and sister-“ I sniff and snort a mound of snot back up as Warren joins the group-hug. “For real. I’ll never forget-“ Damnit…Between my wobbly voice and gradually numbing brain it’s hard to get a sentence out, “-I don’t think I would’ve lasted long in Blackwell without you guys.“

“No way.” The contagious emotion seems to be getting to Warren as he closes his eyes and intakes his own breath of stability, “You would’ve kicked the competition’s ass no problem, just like you will in Seattle, man.”

“And you’ll have Chloe to kick _your_ butt into shape if you don’t!” Kate adds, pulling my heartstrings with her sweet, giggly voice enough to snap. I chuckle through a choked sob as the hug separates and the two give me a chance to compose myself.

“Where’s Brooke?” I ask as I sniffle again.

“Well…Her parents arrived, so-“ Warren seems equal parts disappointed and frustrated, “Yeah, she’s basically on a leash, now. She asked me to say goodbye in her stead, though; as lame as that sounds.”

“You guys’ll…Be good, right?” I can tell he has to _really_ resist the urge to roll his eyes as my nosey curiosity rears its ugly head.

“Men and women of science always get along, Max. It’s like…Basically the point, y’know?” Warren nods, his eyes trailing off slightly. “Science is just hard, sometimes.” He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Damn, listen to me; that was almost poetic.”

“Well, science _is_ art, after all.” I retort, earning an amused hum as a silent ‘touché.’

I turn to Kate, beaming in that sad-happy way that breaks thermodynamics and always looks sadder than normal unhappiness. “I’m so proud of you.” Jeez, that was a weird thing to say. I’m really playing up the family bond thing, huh?

“My dad says so, too.” Her smile droops and her gaze wanders off momentarily before she perks right back up. “Because of you, I think I can believe him again.”

 _Oh…_ I don’t think I can ever explain to you how happy I am seeing the real you again, Kate. I link our hands, forming a mushy friendship triangle as we all share a moment of exchanging smiling glances. “I promise to stay in touch,” I say in a hushed voice, “This won’t be goodbye forever,” My words drop even lower as I whine, “Not again.”

We fall into a precious silence, which gives a chance for that lump in my throat to drop like a...Strength tester in slow motion. This really does feel like destiny, like I’ve been given another chance to prove I’m _not_ a terrible friend…And I’m not going to screw this up. I _won’t_ abandon Warren and Kate; I owe it to them to maintain our bond.

Their eyes rise from the ground as the sound of crunching gravel approaches. I’m the first to break the handhold as I turn to face Chloe’s melancholy demeanour. “Hey, bab-“ _DAMNIT NOT IN FRONT OF WARREN EVEN IF SHE’S IN A BAD MOOD-_

Well, now it’s too late to finish the greeting _or_ say something else, so…Congrats, Max.

“Yo, nerds.” Chloe gives Warren and me the stink-eye in jest (I think.) “...And Katie.” She over exaggerates a fluffy voice and smile as she turns to the blonde girl in question, before upgrading our friend-triangle into a square by standing beside me.

Kate pokes her tongue out in a sheepish raspberry at us, prompting a look of pride from Chloe before letting loose an awkward giggle. Chloe takes a step forward towards and stares Warren down for a few seconds with a serious look on her face. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, she clenches her fist, raising it to chest level expectantly.

“Oh, cool.” Warren accepts the fist bump, knocking his knuckles against hers.

Nodding with a furrowed brow, Chloe turns to Kate. Oh lordy…I wonder what bizarre show of respect she has in store for her? She smiles and – to my surprise, is at a loss for words. “Uh…I-I was gonna give you a hug, Angel, but now I’m not so sure it’s appropria-“

And then Kate embraces her; not in an awkward, ‘I’m going to ensure there’s as little contact as is humanly possible while still technically being a hug’ hover hand kind of way either but a proper wrap of the arms around the stomach and the head resting against her collarbone kind of hug. It’s…Amazingly cute, to say the least, and Chloe’s deer in headlights face certainly doesn’t help.

“That’s okay.” Kate says meaningfully, “Just promise you’ll take good care of Max.”

“Oh, uh-“ Oh, god, it’s actually _incredibly_ adorable just how flustered Chloe is. “Yeah- Hell yeah. Hell yeah I promise! Uh…I mean, heck yeah.” Gosh, look at how sheepish she is about putting her own arms around Kate. I should take a picture…I don’t think I’ll ever see Chloe in such a shy state ever again.

…No, actually. I still don’t think I feel like taking photos.

Kate releases her as she takes the Oath of Max Protection, mumbling “Okay.”  Chloe recedes back a step to her stance beside me with a genuine – if slightly confused smile on her face.

“Well…” She gives me a look, silently asking me to finish the sentence.

I nod. “Yeah,” And repeat the gesture to Kate and Warren. “I guess it’s time for us to go.” Slightly relieved, Chloe delivers a casual salute in farewell. “See you both whenever.” And turns, making her way back to the car.

I approach my friends one last time and say in a low voice, “Thank you, guys; for everything.”

“C’mon, Max,” Kate takes hold of my hands, “You said it yourself, didn’t you? We’ll all see each other again soon!”

“Damn straight.” Warren confirms, “Now…Go drive off into the sunset with your girlfriend, man; become the cliché.”

I nod and, as much as I want to add something to this moment, I know I’ll just probably keep postponing climbing into that passenger seat again. I hurry to Chloe’s truck and open the opposite door to her, waving one last time to my extended family before ducking in and shutting it closed.

“I swear, my hands were above the belt- No, above the fuggin’ stomach, even.” Chloe gives me a show of her palms as I fasten my safety belt.

“Oh, _god.”_ I emphasize in playful disgust, “Do you really think I’d have any doubts?”

“Just making sure!” Chloe reacts defensively, “Katie totally caught me off-guard with that one!”

“It _was_ really cute, though. You should hug more people!”

“Nuh-uh.” She says childishly, “I don’t do hugs; too mushy for me…Unless they’re with you, obviously.” She switches the ignition on and looks over her shoulder; Warren and Kate have given Chloe a wide berth as they take steps back onto the sidewalk.

“Well,” I rest my palm atop her hand as she takes hold of the gearstick and shifts into first, squeezing affectionately. “For what it’s worth…Thank you for saying goodbye to them.”

“Well,” Chloe presses the handbrake down and hastily reverses out of her parking position, “It’s pretty no-brainer for me to do anything that’ll put a smile on that face.”

As we pull out of the car park, I peek through the driver seat window to see Warren and Kate waving. I return the gesture; though, I can never tell if someone can actually see me through a car window. Chloe takes the hint and raises her hand as well, though naturally her attention stays on the road.

“Well…This is it.” I speak up, a small amount of excitement creeping in as I continue caressing my palm against Chloe’s gearstick mounted hand.

“This is hella it.” Chloe says, rising in enthusiasm as she pulls out onto the main road. “Our new fuckin’ lives, together forever!”

I watch the suburbs built around Blackwell pass us by. This is really it; what’s left of Arcadia Bay…

We’re putting it behind us. Trying to. Again.

My childhood, Chloe’s entire life, our fateful week together again…

We’re really just…Leaving that behind us.

Trying to. Again.

Chloe comes to a stop at a junction and waits for her chance to turn onto the next road. It’s…Hopeful, seeing all these cars pass us by. It means there were plenty in attendance to the memorial, which means there were plenty of people who surv-

 _Dang it_. Stopping that train of thought right there.

…

A raven suddenly perches on the hood of the car. It takes a few steps forward, closer to the windshield.

“What the hell?” Chloe groans, “Where did this guy come from? Dude! Fuck off! I’m tryna’ focus on the road, here!”

Whoa, where _did_ it come from?

It’s…Weird.

The way it’s just standing there, unmoving.

_Almost like it’s…_

“Alright, time to bust out my secret weapon.” Chloe diabolically says, “Windshield wiper, activate!” She flicks the knob behind the steering wheel and the swishing wipers promptly frighten the raven off; cawing and screeching as it flaps its wings to…Wherever birds go.

“Hah!” Chloe puffs her chest out triumphantly as she flicks the wipers off again, “Chloe Price - one, dumbass bird - zero! Hey, didja see that, Max?”

I fumble back out of deep thought, forcing a chuckle as Chloe finally finds her chance to fly out of the junction, the engine roaring. “Yeah, wowser…We really showed him.”

“Ain’t no one stopping us now, least of all any flying rodents.”

Minutes pass until we reach it for the third time; the worn, chipped sign that reads ‘Another Great Day in ARCADIA BAY! Thank you come again."

* * *

 _Let’s say sunshine for everyone_  
_But as far as I can remember_  
_We’ve been migratory animals_  
_Living under_  
_Changing weather_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...It's here.
> 
> This is formally the end of what I'm calling "Act One: Reprisal"  
> Hopefully that sounds exactly as pretentious as I'm intending it to.
> 
> But Life Cont. is far from over. The next chapters will be part of a mini-act of sorts that I'm calling "Act One-Point-Five: ...And Life Continued"  
> They likely won't be as heavy hitting as the first half of the fic, instead being dedicated to some fluffy goodness to give me some breathing room to lead into...Whatever I decide to name the final act.
> 
> From the bottom of my everything, thank you so much for reading this far. I've loved reading and responding to your comments; it's actually been an entirely new experience for me: just the feeling that people could be excited about the next chapter I'm writing or that they genuinely enjoyed my, quite frankly mediocre at best work.
> 
> And there I go again. Do I do it on purpose? Yes, definitely.
> 
> This is a pretty long chapter, so I do expect I've missed some mistakes; if you spot them, do let me know!


	17. Act II: ...And Life Continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_So, you’ve mentioned ‘Max’ a lot, haven’t you? The one who moved up north?_

_Uh-huh…What of it?_

_…Dunno. You must’ve been good friends, is all._

_We were._

_You’re sure she stopped caring about you? Just…Suddenly didn’t give a shit?_

_…Yeah._

_…Weird question, feel free not to answer it: would you take her back if she sent you a text right this instant?_

_…_

_Chloe?_

…

“Hey, Max.”

Man, it’s…It’s been a long time since I’ve been this far out of Arcadia Bay. I…Actually can’t remember when or where. It’s p. cool, though; the middle-of-nowhereness, just watching miles upon miles of trees and shoreline pass us by. I forget how fucking calming the ocean can be…Says the girl who’s spent her entire life living in a seaside town. When was the last time we even saw another car on the road, anyway? Gotta be over an hour, by now. That’s also nice, means I can devote some attention that _should_ be on the road to Max.

Not like there’s much reason to come this way by now. If people were evacuating or coming to the Bay, they’ve had a week to do it.

“Hmn?” She groggily groans as her eyes twitch slightly and she fidgets against the door, sliding her head against the window into a more comfortable position.

“Shit, sorry. Didn’t wake ya, did I?” I remove a hand from the wheel and reach over to pat her lap before bringing it to a rest.

“No, it’s-“ God, Max’s yawns are _beyond_ cute. She’s literally like a whimsical animal from a Disney movie when she wakes up. “-It’s cool. I was in that-“ She does it again, this time with added stretching until I hear those joints crack and she lets loose a satisfied moan. “-Weird, half-sleep state where I was still aware of everything around me.”

“Yes, Max,” I smirk, “I know you’re literally cuteness incarnate; you don’t have to keep proving it to me.”

“Shush up.” She delivers a playful slap to the back of my hand before dropping into a more serious ‘real talk’ demeanour. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good in the hood.” We both, as if by instinct, take hold of each other’s hands without even bringing attention to it; funny how that works. “Could y’check if there’s any smokes in the glove compartment? I’ve had the lung-destruction itch all week.”

I can tell she wants to say something in protest as she looks at me for a second. I very nearly let a slightly demanding ‘please?’ slip the tongue before she clicks open the glove compartment and rummages through the junk within. Hah, shit, now I’m hoping she doesn’t find anything in there she isn’t supposed to…Good thing my journal of unsent letters is under the seat. Can’t remember if I’ve still got those magazines, though…

After poking around and flicking over a mound of parking tickets, discarded flyers and a catalogue or two, Max fishes out an oh-so familiar little cardboard box of pirate treasure. The blatant ‘ **SMOKING KILLS’** message on the front of these still bothers me with how condescending it sounds. Like, yeah, no shit, corporate hacks: the problem isn’t that I don’t know, it’s that I don’t care.

Yes, I hear you, conscience, I’m fully aware how lucky I am to even be here. Eat me, I can quit anytime, now more than ever.

Max reluctantly opens the box up and shows it to me, a slight look of despair on her face. From the corner of my eye I can see…One cigarette left. Ah, well; maybe it’s symbolic that my last one before Seattle is the last one ever. Maybe.

“Bitchin’,” I slow the car somewhat, before removing my hand from Max’s lap and shift in my seat for a better angle to fish out the lighter in my back pocket. The Firewalk logo graphic on it has since faded and flaked away and, come to think of it, it’s been so long since I listened to ‘em that I can’t even remember what it should look like. “Here, light me up.”

Hesitating for a second, Max takes the lighter and slips the last stick of nicotine and poison from the box as I roll down the window (last thing my baby needs is a face-full of SHS.). She flips open the lighter, holds it to the end of the cigarette and, after several failed attempts to light it _(too cute)_ I hear that familiar sound as the flame ignites.

I lean in, opening my mouth. “Fuck yeah, Max the pyromaniac.” She doesn’t look so convinced, but inserts the sweetly disgusting stick between my lips regardless.

I suck in a deep breath, the putrid taste accompanying the rush catching me off-guard as I grimace with how long it’s been. _Ah…Whoo_. I take the drag between my fingers and exhale, the cloud of smoke that follows gathering in front of my face before promptly streaming out the window.

Ah, shit. Forgot my ashtray at home. Oh well; I gently tap at the cigarette, holding it close to but far enough from the window that it won’t be put out. Unfortunately, most of the ash _doesn’t_ get sucked out the window and sprinkles onto my jeans or the seat…Fuck.

“My mom’ll freak if she catches you smoking in the house.” Max softly laughs as she sets the lighter down and she watches me brush grey particles off my clothes onto the floor.

Hah. Reminds me of Joyce when I first picked up the habit. Though, like a lot of things, I didn’t really give her much choice but to accept it…Go figure I put pissing David higher on my priority list compared to her.

I blow another wisp of airborne chemicals to be sucked through the window and let out a short chuckle.

“If you want to, uhm,” Max raises and bends four fingers in a set of air quotes, “’Light one up’ you can do it in my room, though. We can totally take the heat together if anyone finds out.”

“Aww, my little Maxie’s a full blown accomplice, now. Fuck the system! Rise above!”

“Your dorkitude levels are off the scale.” She rolls her eyes, faking a sigh that ends up sounding pretty…Dreamy despite the fact she’s just trying to be funny.

I deepen my voice and emphasize my accent for comedic effect. “We can rebuild her, we have the _technology!_ Faster, stronger…Dorkier!” Max giggles to herself as I take another drag and release it; can barely notice the taste again. “Thanks, though,” I drop the playful tone, “It uh…Must’ve been weird at first, seeing that I’d picked up the habit.”

“Before or after the everything else?” She smirks.

“Fair ‘nuff.” An out of character shyness comes over me, “Uh…Been meaning to ask, actually. Never really got the chance when we were goin’ full pirate on our week back together…What’s your take on, well, the ‘new’ me?”

Max doesn’t immediately respond; I briefly take my eyes off the road to catch a glimpse of her sweetly smiling at me as she scoots over as closely as her safety belt will allow. “Well…Obviously I love it, because it isn’t a ‘new’ you. I mean, you’ve always been so confident and strong, _and_ a total badass, so the punk look is just…You.”

“Oh, wow-“ Looking to casually play off the compliment _(although holy shit I think that hit a trigger somewhere),_ Max resumes before I can finish.

“But I mean…Just in general, Chloe. When we got back together again-“ She takes in a sigh to buy herself time to articulate, “Like…Part of why I never…Contacted you was because I was worried you would’ve changed. I mean-“ She reaches over, placing a hand on my lap, “You went through so much crap after I left, I was worried...That…Um.”

“That I’d be a broken, hateful shell or whatever?” A heavy-handed way of putting it. Probably could’ve been more elegant with that…I begin to slow the car further, pulling in to the side of the road. Is this an appropriate place to stop? Dunno, don’t care…This conversation’s getting…Heavy. Besides; middle of nowhere, not like a deer’s gonna give me a ticket.

“I…Guess. And I’m not- I’m not trying to justify that I didn’t-“ She pauses, then sighs in frustration. I consider alleviating this display of guilt with a quip, but opt to just let Max continue. “Anyway…It was just so cool, seeing that, despite five years and so much around us having changed, you still wanted to be friends and you were still _so_ awesome and-“ By the time the car’s come to a stop, she’s started to choke up, if only slightly. She unfastens her safety belt as I sloppily put the handbrake on and she shifts over beside me. “You’re still my Chloe.”

I reach an arm around Max’s shoulder, pulling her into an embrace as I toss my partially finished cigarette out the window and she closes her eyes, steadying herself through a deep breath. “Should’ve seen me before Rachel,” I throw my other arm around her to hold her tightly like a kid cuddling a teddy bear, an emotional pang being hit at my mention of Rache. “After she disappeared, too.”

“I know. And I’ll never be able to tell you just how sorry I am that I wasn’t there or that I never called. It’s so-“ Nuzzling her nose against my shoulder, a low whine escapes her, “It’s so, so stupid that I thought- That I thought-“ She softly growls in defeat, “…I don’t know what I thought.”

 I loosen the cuddle a little so my hands can find her cheeks and gently coerce her eyes to meet mine. “For real, Max. You know I don’t hold anything against you.”

“I know.”

“I mean, shit,” I push her fringe back, exposing a small collection of red spots that have formed from our lack of access to personal hygiene, “How could I after the crap _you_ went through for me? You’ve got the fuggin’…Powers of a god and you devote them to me! You’re hella my hero, Max.” Damnit, a joyous tear trickles down my cheek. There’s something about Max...Maybe it’s her eyes or her voice or every individual freckle on those cutie cheeks _(or probably because I’m fricking in love with her)_ but she always finds a way to break my composure.

So…Which one of us initiates the kiss? I guess me, right? Shit, I’m not complaining. I mean, Max is smiling at me with a literal twinkle in her wet eyes so I know it’s up to me to complete the moment.

I suddenly lean in and, from Max’s short gasp I must’ve surprised her as our lips meet. Christ...Kissing this girl always surprises me in new and awesome ways as she places her hands on my neck and shoulder, letting several low, barely audible murmurs in approval sneak up her throat. Her face quickly goes rosy and hot, and as much as I like to pretend I’m a total pro in make-out sessions, I’m probably blushing like fuck as well if my brain, numb with bliss is any indication.

Guess Max just has that effect.

We make the executive decision to pause, taking in each other’s warm, quickened and, frankly gross-ass _breath (our kingdom for some fucking toothpaste and a toothbrush.)_ She gulps down her nerves, psyching herself up to say something and giving me time to cut in.

“Wowser, right?” I grin and peck her lips.

“Hella wowser.” Max retorts as I take to caressing her biceps.

“Is it weird if your dumb catchphrases are like, a turn-on for me?” Oops. Well, that just kinda…Slipped out. Heheh.

“Oh, _gawd.”_ She winces, supressing an embarrassed giggle. “It’s weird enough that I think I’ll be more careful when I use them.”

“Aww.” I plant another smooch on her lips, like it’s a friggin’ drug that I need my fix of every few seconds. I put on a mocking voice intended to imitate her, smirking devilishly. “ _Are you cereal?”_

“You suck!” Seeing my expression grow even more mischievous, Max places a finger against my mouth. “And don’t even think about twisting that into something gross!”

Heheh, she knows me all too well. How _could_ I twist that, though? There are so many possibilities…I ‘chomp’ the end of her finger between my lips, making a dumb ‘nom’ sound before her hand retreats as she grimaces in playful disgust. “Too late, already thinking about it.”

Sighing, she relaxes against me again and we fall into another snuggle. Man, the sunset and the sea breeze just completes the mush factor of this moment…Speaking of sunset, I hope to god we find a motel, soon. As…Hot as finding a hidden alcove or an empty barn in the middle of nowhere to park in for the night, and the possibilities that come with it sounds, I could really do with a double bed and a decent breakfast in the morning. Assuming the motel has a nearby café or whatever, anyway…In which case, a double bed for me to hog the blankets of would still be _hella_ good – which also comes with the benefit that Max has no choice but to snuggle up to me if she wants her own blanket space! Killin’ so many birds with so many stones, up in here.

Speaking of birds…

Hm.

That…

Nah.

Wonder how far it is to Seattle, anyway? Haven’t seen a road sign in a while. Or…Maybe that’s a sign I’m paying too much attention to Max as I drive.

Wait, what the fuck am I saying? ‘Paying _too much_ attention to Max’, pfft.

“Hey, Chlo-bo?”

“Yeah?” I turn away from the window, looking back to Max’s bombsite of a bad hair day.

“What’re your plans for Seattle? Or…Well, your plans for our new lives?”

I frown slightly as I draw a blank. “Haven’t really given it much thought. I guess- Wait, did you just call me Chlo-bo?”

“Uh-“ Max fumbles through her words sheepishly, “Y-Yeah, just trying it out. Do…You like it?”

Too. Cute. For. Me.

“Hell yeah, I’ve gotta pet name now!” I press a kiss against her head, “We need to get, like…Bracelets with our mushy nicknames on ‘em. Maxi-pad plus Chlo-bo!”

She hums approvingly, burying her cheek in my collarbone. Taking the conversation back a step, I ponder. “But uh…Yeah, I dunno. Guess I’ll try and pick up a job, somewhere; no way in shit am I going back to school after BlackHell.”

“Oh.” The disappointment in that legit ties a small knot in my chest. I give Max a squeeze as if it’s a silent ‘sorry.’ “I mean…All I basically give a shit about is making _you_ happy, babe, and if that means helping you through school with money or by attending said school with you, you know I’m down with it.”

“No, no,” Max sighs, “I was just thinking- N-Never mind…”

“Don’t worry, Maxie,” I chuckle, “I like the idea of takin’ control of the school social hierarchy, too. I bet all the urban edgelords n’ scene kids would be all over your cute self, then I could swoop in n’ be like, ‘Sorry bro, she’s taken and _hella_ gay.’”

Goddamn, come to think of it, this idea that I’ve, like…’ _Claimed’_ Max is…

 _Whoo,_ pretty neato.

She giggles some more, sending my heart all aflutter n’ shit.’ “I don’t think the big city guys are ready for you, Chloe. Maybe we should show them some mercy?”

“Suit yourself,” I feign my own disappointment, burying a kiss of goodwill on her forehead for good measure. “Guess I’ll have to settle with being your personal chauffeur, then!”  

Max hums approvingly and we fall into silence again. It’s gonna be…New, to say the least; becoming a, _gasp,_ responsible adult finally. Gonna have to find me a low-skill job…Maybe in a café, somewhere? Bet Max’d be all over the indie barista aesthetic. Heh…Go figure, she’s even influencing my choice of work.

Man, listen to me, you’d think I was an upstanding citizen or something. Guess it just goes to show; dropping my middle finger to society is worth it for her.

I pat Max’s shoulder firmly and stroke the length of her arm. “Alright, time to get back on the road, sweetcheeks.”

Reluctantly and with an over exaggerated grumbling, Max sits up straight, shifting across the seat into the passenger side again with a yawn. “I _guess_ it’d be a bad idea to fall asleep on the side of the road like this.” Chuckling at the thought of it, the engine purrs to life as I click the ignition key into place. We exchange honeyed smiles as I shift the gearstick and lower the handbrake before taking off onto the road once again, Max’s hand finding mine resting on the gearstick.

* * *

  _“Hello?”_

Uhn…?

_“Hello…?”_

…Hi?

_“Who’s there?”_

Uh.

_“Who… **Are** you?”_

…

…

Hmngh…

Everything is so… _Soft._

Clean mattress, sheets and pillows, how I’ve missed you.

The low, greyish-blue light trickling between the curtains must mean it’s the early morning…It’s good to know that after everything, my bio-clock still reminds me to get up a decent hour. Thanks, mom, you’re the best drill sergeant.

And I don’t feel like a boggy sweat factory! I think I’ll have another shower when I get up, just for the heck of it. Sucks that there’s no convenience store by this motel, or I might be able to get a hold of some dental stuff to say the same for my teeth. Blegh, everything  tastes like…Liquid bronze.

Mmn...Chloe feels so warm against my back, though. I might be a total dweeb when it comes to making out or… _Everything else,_ but it’s good to know I can always enjoy cuddling with her without chickening out. I place a hand on her arm that’s wormed across my chest and locking me into the…Spoon? Yeah, that’s what it’s called.

_I double dare you, kiss me now!_

I suppress a giddy chuckle as my mind wanders, twisting in my position to just about gain a view of Chloe’s snooze-face in the low light, her mouth wide agape and a faint snore breezing out of her nose.

“Love you.” I whisper so quietly that I’m not even sure if I just mouthed the words or not before relaxing once again with a dreamy sigh.

…

…

Oh…

Chloe’s not-

She isn’t wearing her tank-top.

Did she take it off after I fell asleep?

I guess…

I guess that’s fair enough, I mean…Our clothes are beyond in need of a wash at this point. She probably just wants to enjoy our new-found cleanliness a little longer, right? Or…I guess it is pretty warm in here. Curse you, lack of air-con! Hah…It definitely did just get a lot warmer all of a sudden, that’s for sure…

Uncomfortably so.

 _Wowser,_ I am…Very aware of her silky skin brushing against mine, now; or her warm, cigarette-scented breath against the back of my neck. The faint, sickly aroma of sweat emanating from underneath her arm…

 _Damnit, Max._ It’s cool. Shut the hell up. She’s your damn _girlfriend!_ She’s… _Chloe._

Why are you so fricking freaked out over…

A shiver runs up my spine, stirring Chloe in her sleep. She mumbles something incomprehensible, twisting and turning slightly, the springs in the mattress straining as she shifts position before she relaxes into my back again.

“Sorry.” I mumble into the ether faintly, collecting myself with a deep sigh.

I wonder how I’m gonna tell my parents about us? I mean…I guess it could be as simple as ‘bt-dubs we’re dating now’ but…I mean, would it weird them out that me and Chloe would sleep in the same bed? And not, like…In an innocent sleepover way? Or that we’re all living under the same roof? They never really got to know her as well as Joyce and William got to know me, so…

Would they start worrying about us, like… _Y’know._

 _Aghurhghrughrgh._ You’d think I didn’t even know my own parents with how this dumb brain thinks!

I close my eyes, hoping to lull myself back into the land of not thinking.

…

…

…

Chloe’s breathing feels…

Overpowering.

This cuddle is starting to feel…Binding.

Damnit, damnit, damnit…

**_DAMNIT!_ **

Why do I have to god damn…Feel like _thi_ s? It isn’t right! She’s my Chloe…

I gently struggle against her embrace, pushing her arm to the side and eliciting some more mumbled grumblings from her. “I have to use the bathroom, Chloe.” I whine as, in her half-catatonic state, she manages to understand what I’m saying and releases me. “Sorry,” I whimper, sheepishly caressing her bare back as she flops onto her front with a groan, “I won’t be long.”

“That’s cool-“ Chloe finds the brainpower to put a sentence together (sort of) as she lets out a heavy yawn, “Babe…I fuggin’ hate wakin’ up with a full bladder, too.”

Hopping off the side of the bed and onto the grey carpet, I blink as I squint against the dark of the room. Where are my socks…? Ah, forget it. I trod barefoot across the room, a chill running up my bare legs as I find the bathroom door and feel around it for the handle.

Was it the left side or the right- Left, right, yeah. Pressing it down, my new challenge becomes finding the light-switch without the morning light seeping through a window for aid…

Uhh…

My hands flail and search across the darkness and eventually through trial and error, I take hold of and pull the string-

Ow, ow…I wince at the sudden change in lighting, shielding my eyes with my hand. Blinking several more times and peeking between my fingers, I find my way through the cramped, minimalist lavatory to the mirror above the sink.

Well…Here I am again. Staring myself down in a dingy motel bathroom.

Hopefully I won’t almost drown in the shower.

Hah. Hah. Hah…

I’m so sick of this red t-shirt.

I focus on my features, peering at my freckles and the acne on my forehead as I run my fingers along my skin. I gaze into my own eyes, barely making out my reflection in them.

Where _are_ you?

You know…

**You.**

Chloe calls you ‘BadMax’, now.

I think it’s a good name, since you’re such an **asshole.**

Hah, I can hear you now. ‘I’m you, genius.’

Yeah? Well I’m making Chloe happy, and all you’ve ever tried to do is try and make everything harder for me, so whatever ‘we aren’t so different you and I’ bullshit you were trying to pull doesn’t even matter anymore.

And if you _were_ me, you’d love Chloe just as much as I do, so what have you gotta say about that?

Well…I guess nothing, now.

You know…

I thought I was just getting good at ignoring you, but you really have been silent ever since I passed out.

That _was_ you, wasn’t it?

You did something to cause that.

So something must have backfired if I haven’t heard from you.

Not that I’m complaining…Chloe and I are doing great. We’re about to start our new lives together, don’tcha know. Make a real effort to move on from all this crap…Go figure when I don’t have a voice in my head telling me that everything I do is wrong, I can start doing the things that make me happy.

It’s…Strange, though. I can still see your **(my)** smug face or hear your distorted rendition of my voice in some dark corner of my brain…So what does that mean?

Well I’m not gonna think about it; I don’t have to. I don’t have to use my rewind anymore either, because we’re putting the past behind us. I don’t know what caused the storm…I guess I never will. Reality is complicated, right? Messing with it can cause…Well, it wasn’t my fault. There’s nothing-

There was nothing I could do, okay? It wasn’t fair to tell me to make that choice!

And where do you get the right to be my judge, jury and executioner? You said it yourself…You’re me! Yeah, it sure fucking sucks when shit comes full circle, doesn’t it?

What am I even doing…?

…

You know…

Somehow I get the feeling that _you_ know where I got these powers. Or…Who gave them to me, and why. What if you even had something to do with the storm?

Well, you’re gone, now, so I guess I’ll never know what it was all supposed to mean. Maybe we could’ve talked it out, helped each other understand but now…

I just have to assume I was given the rewind power so I could save Chloe. Not just in that bathroom, but to make her happy again…To redeem myself for ruining our friendship.

Letting her family die is redemption, yeah, sure…

I…

I still don’t know, okay?

I won’t ever know if it was the right thing to do.

I don’t want to think about all the names that I’ll recognise on the death toll.

There were so many people that I _didn’t_ see at the memorial…

Dana, Juliet, Victoria, Trevor, Taylor, Courtney, Hayden, Miss Grant and poor Samuel…

But there’s nothing I can do. I can’t live without Chloe - It’s just not possible, not after what we went through together. She doesn’t deserve to die, alone, without the chance to know how much I love her…I tore up that damn photo, anyway - Not that I would even consider going back on my decision to begin with.

I’ve done everything I can, okay? I went back to Arcadia! I saw the destruction, I’m not running away from it this time! And I’m _not_ going to mess up my friendship with Warren and Kate like I did with Chloe. They don’t deserve to have their lives turned upside down and no one to support them…

Warren’ll be happy with Brooke. They’re basically made for each other…And I know just as well as anyone that being with someone isn’t always easy - I can’t imagine what scars they’ve both picked up; and not just the physical. In fact, the shit they’ve had to suffer through is just all the more reason they can help each other.

And Kate…

I mean, I said it to her face: I’m so proud of her. All of Blackwell was against her and she still gave them the metaphorical middle finger and pulled through. She’s living proof that no one should ever give up on their happiness, no matter what assholes might try and do to ruin your life. And I promise: I freaking promise, I _will_ make sure she continues to pull through.

So there. Everything is going to work out.

For…Some of us.

But not everyone else.

_Damnit…_

You’re still finding ways to mess with me, even if it’s just…Me.

Fuck you.

…

“Max…?”

I hastily wipe my eyes; I don’t even know if I’ve started crying or not, but that familiar numbness in my brain is coming around so I may as well get a head start. “It’s cool,” I quietly call out, “The door’s unlocked, Chloe.”

I watch her carefully creek open the door through the mirror. Slightly poking her head into the crack in the door, Chloe drops all caution and hurries towards me, still mostly naked with only her underwear and bra for cover. “Was getting worried you fell in, heh.”

I turn away from the mirror to face her, keeping my eyes as far away from…Everything below her neck as possible. “I’m okay,” I put on the best smile I can manage in my groggy, contemplative state, “Just thinking.”

She reaches her arms around me in a hug and I hesitate to touch her exposed skin as I set my chin upon her shoulder (there’s just…Too much of it), my own embrace ending up pretty half-hearted as a result. “Thinking as in…Good thinking?” She asks, a real concern punctuating her usual laid-back voice.

“Yeah, I think so.” I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. “For real, it’s cool.”

Chloe seems to accept my not-so-sure reassurance and we hold our embrace in silence; drawing all the more attention to the non-silent things around us: like the faint sound of the birds outside’s morning choir, the lightbulb above us whirring, the muffled  roar of an engine sparking to life as a car presumably leaves the motel car park and…

It’s really hard to ignore the fact that Chloe is practically nude. Why does this stress me out as much as it does? She’s my _girlfriend_ now, _and_ I’ve known her for…As long as I’ve known her! _Why_ am I so uncomfortable with this?

“Wanna go back to bed?” I suddenly suggest, if only so she can at least be covered by blankets. Dunno if that’ll help with all the…Skin touching, but I’m still feeling pretty sleepy regardless.

“Hell yes.” Chloe eagerly takes me by the hand, “’Cuddling in a bed with Max Caulfield’ is my middle name.”

I gingerly follow her back across the lino floor, pulling the light-switch-string thing as we step back onto the far warmer carpet of the motel room’s main room. I let out a half-hearted chuckle as Chloe lets go of my hand to climb into bed and worm herself beneath the sheets on her side of the mattress. “Oh really?” I roll my eyes, an awkwardly obvious sarcasm in my voice, “I guess Chloe _Elizabeth_ Price is your undercover name to conceal your true calling in life.”

“Heh.” Chloe snickers at me as I follow her beneath the bedsheet, laying on my back with my arm beneath my head for support. “Undercover.”

Wha-? That wasn’t a weird thing to say- Oh, right. _Groan._

“Get it?” She tacks on, propping her own head up on her hand as she lies on her side to face me, a grin on her lips. “Because we’re-“

“Under the covers, yeah.” I blow an exasperated puff of air through my lips to truly inform Chloe of the corniness of her pun. “And you call _me_ a nerd.”

“Well…It’s not a lie.” She retorts matter-of-factly, maintaining her playful smile. “You _are_ a nerd.” Her free hand worms beneath the blankets and reaches for me to affectionately rest on my stomach. “My nerd.”

“I take it back.” I remark after a short exchange of smiles and held eye contact, “You’re actually a dork.”

“Man, you’re lame.” Chloe grumbles, feigning frustration; though the pleasant massage she’s giving my belly says otherwise. “I’m tryna’ be cute n’ shit, here.”

“Oh yeah?” I refuse to let the playful sarcasm in my voice dip for even a moment,  “I guess I should appreciate that…It must take a lot of effort for Chloe Price to act cute.”

“Yes!” She exclaims as she plays along, “I’ve kind of gotta reputation to uphold here, Max. Chloe Elizabeth Price doesn’t do ‘cute.’”

“Chloe ‘Cuddling in a bed with Max Caulfield’ Price, you mean.” I correct her, tilting my head her direction so she can see my witty smirk.

“Hey-“

I squeak in surprise; what the heck? Chloe just poked her finger in my belly button! Too weird.

“Watch the sass, young lady.” She pokes a few more times, “I’m the sass master here.”

“Holy crap,” I steadily relax back into the mattress, reaching for my stomach to remove Chloe’s hand from my navel. “I’m so speechless, Chloe. That was-“

“Suave as fuck?” She interjects, threatening to prod me again as her finger circles around the centre of my belly.

“I was gonna say ‘bizzaro’ or “peculiar bad touch.”

 _“’Bizzaro?’_ Chloe grumbles to herself in feigned frustration, before her palm comes to a rest on my stomach once again. She gently rakes her fingers against my skin for a moment before her familiar, distinct grin returns to her face. “I guess that wasn’t my best move, to be fair.”

Her lips curve at the corner ever so slightly at her remark and her eyes trail down to my mouth for a brief moment-

Oh.

Now Chloe’s…

Moving in.

For a smooch. Right.

I’m, uh…

I’m her girlfriend.

She props herself up on her arm closer to me and looks over me, that same devilishness she always has so present on her expression. Staring at her mouth – her eyes, cheeks, everything…I wanna say something.

I wanna say…

I don’t know what I wanna say.

She carefully leans in, puckering her lips.

**_SHE’S STILL NOT WEARING ANYTHING._ **

_Damnit…_

“I-It’s okay, Chloe.”

Her eyes shoot straight open as she looks at me, dazed. “Whuh-“

Why.

Why did I-

“I’m okay. S-Sorry-“

**_UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH._ **

I can’t-

I can’t look at her pretty eyes right now, my vision finding the fabric of my pillow to the side instead.

Why?

_Sigh._

I know why.

“Sorry, just-“ I stutter incessantly, a desperate smile on as I try to get one word out in this awkward, uncomfortable mess.

“Um.”

“Y-Yknow-“

“I’m just-“

“ _Hah-“_

I hate me.

“I-I guess-“

“T-Tired and-“

“-And stuff.”

Chloe just…Looks at me, concerned and confused. That…Sickening confidence and intimate demeanour is just…Instantly gone.

“Wanna…Cuddle, at least?” She sounds so…Dissapointed.

Stupid.

So stupid.

Me, I mean.

“Y-Yeah, I think that would be good.”

Why did I stop it?

Why does this suddenly have to not be okay?

Just because she’s…

We’ve done girlfriendy stuff ever since…Last week. Before that, even! Like…

In Blackwell’s swimming pool.

I wonder if…Chloe interpreted that night differently to me. I couldn’t look at her body then, either…I can’t deny that it wasn’t special in…Some way, though. I-I mean, thinking about it now…

She must’ve asked me to kiss her the next morning for a reason, right?

Right before I put on **RACHEL’S ** clothes.

N-No, that’s-

That’s _not_ it.

Fuck you.

** FUCK YOU. **

Chloe relaxes onto her side and wraps her arms around me and buries the side of her face into my shoulder because **SHE LOVES ME** and I hold her tightly in turn because **I TRUST HER.**

Chloe softly whispers, tickling the inside of my ear and, by extension my brain with her hushed tone. “You okay?”

I stare at the ceiling for a few moments – way beyond the normal response time Chloe would consider ‘okay.’

“Max-“

“I’m okay.” I butt in before she can repeat the question.

Sighing a coppery smelling breath out, Chloe squeezes me gently in her embrace. 

I continue as I find myself unable to truly keep my façade of ‘okayness’ up, especially as Chloe’s dissatisfied breath tells me she sees right through it. “I think I just wanna go home, with you. I wanna…Be normal again. With you.”

She absent-mindedly hums. “Mm. Yeah.”

I sort of want the conversation to end there. Chloe has so many things to worry or be upset about, and the last thing I want to do – especially now, when we aren’t even settled down – is add to that list but…

“Do…You think we can do that, Chloe?”

My big mouth is a slow trickle of awkward conversation, I guess.

“Eh?”

“Be normal, I mean.” I reiterate as she tilts her head to gain a view of my face that continues to blankly gaze into the ceiling. “Like…Normal girlfriends who go on dates and only worry about normal girlfriend stuff.”

Chloe gives me a quizzical look and voice as her hand resting on my belly reaches north for her finger to leisurely stroke my jaw. “Normal girlfriend stuff like…?”

“Like…What to do on Valentine’s day instead of-“ I shrug, “You know, _me_ problems.”

“You _do_ know we’re still gonna worry about mushy Valentines shit anyway, right, Max?” She teases as her finger softly swirls in circles against my neck.

“That…” I sigh as I close my eyes, “Doesn’t make me feel any better.”

Chloe goes silent for a moment of thought. From the corner of my eye, I can see her at my shoulder looking to me with upward curved lips on; not the shit-eating grin she usually has, but a hopeful smile. She nuzzles her nose into my neck lovingly, before resting the side of her head into my collar again. “It should, I think. It means, like…Even though we’re going through all the scary and sad shit that we are, we’re still just two chicks tryna’ do cool things for each other, ya know?”

Cool things for each other.

_Each other._

Maybe…

Hm.

I lean forward just enough to reach Chloe’s scalp and bury a kiss in her newly shower-freshened hair. Resting my head back into the pillow, Chloe tilts her chin up to smile at me again, before reaching to plant one on my jaw.

“I want to do the coolest things for you, Chloe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Long hiatus and things. Sorry.
> 
> So BTS is over so I'm not worried about stepping on the canon's toes anymore than I already have.
> 
> I also don't have anymore excuses about taking so long to write chapters.
> 
> Anyway, this fanfic isn't dead. I love writing it and I fully intend to complete the story. Again, I'm sorry for taking so long and I love all of you who have read this far.
> 
> Oh, and Merry Christmas!!!!


End file.
